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THE ACTS OF

NATHAN

THE PROPHET

The Acts of Nathan the Prophet

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Copyright © 2010

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ISBN: 978-0-9826092-1-7

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without the written permission of the author or publisher.

iii

***HAPPY EASTER***

2010

My Dearest (2nd Wife),

Thank you for having an open mind and allowing me to explain

myself. I have so much to tell you it is hard to know where

to start, but a journey of 1000 miles begins with one step.

Sometime in the 90’s I was getting life insurance and thought

about the future of my children. I didn’t want to give them my life

long earnings only to be squandered. I wanted to give them a little

piece (financially and spiritually) of me for a lifetime. I checked

into my theory and discovered that I would have to hire an attorney

to prepare a trust and that would be costly. So I just did like

everyone else, bought a policy and designated beneficiaries.

When Hurricane Ivan was approaching the Gulf Coast I had

a financial Tsunami going on in my life already. I turned to God

for help. I was doing all the talking and He was talking to me, but

I could not hear. My heart was just becoming ready to accept the

Wonderful Counselor as my guide. I didn’t know who this Counselor

was and muddled through making everyone think I had lost

my mind. You already know the turmoil this created in my life.

After a year of reinventing myself, I met you. I was head over

heels in love with you from the first time I saw you. I was drawn

to you because of your Faith in our Father and the kindness I witnessed

you doing. I knew that I had a purpose for God, but I had

already lost one family and decided to conform to society and not

go out on a limb for God. I always find it amazing to watch the reactions

of people when you mention our Creator. Wow, what have

iv

we become? I too struggled with witnessing for Him. I didn’t

know how to react. Am I doing what I do for His Glory or mine?

I tried to join in with the church and every time I found judgment

and betrayal. I would so love to go to a House of Worship and allow

my vulnerabilities to be seen and accepted. My God accepts

and forgives them and my transgressors prey upon them.

I guess we can classify our relationship as a rebound marriage.

We immediately had to start dealing with financial issues

that could be a strain on the strongest of marriages. I was still that

rat in the maze searching for my next cheese station financially

and spiritually. Although I did not find the financial cheese while

with you, you introduced me to the spiritual cheese.

I saw myself being drawn back into the rat race with no future

to look forward to. I had lost your respect and love. I just could

not go back to what I had tried so hard to break free from. I had

to allow myself time for the reinvention to take hold in my life. I

knew that I could not finish my purpose with you in my life and

I knew that I could not remain in a loveless relationship. You

were my catalyst for striving to complete my purpose for God. I

wanted to be able to show you that I was not insane, just possess

something to arcane for you and others to accept.

After our separation, I hibernated and drank heavily. I still

thought there was hope of getting back together. Several months

went by and I took the advice “the best way to get over a woman

is to get another one”. I was with enough women to know that I

had lost my soul mate. I just had no feelings for these women and

I hated giving them false hope of any kind of relationship. It so

went against my grain.

My drinking had began to haunt me again as it has so many

times in my past. I put it down completely and picked up the

project that has plagued me for five yrs. I thought all I would

v

need to do is put the website together. I attempted to accomplish

this myself and realized quickly that this was way over my head.

It was when I discovered that I didn’t need just one website, I

needed two that resonated in my brain and brought me back to the

Two–Sided Scroll. I had spent so much time on the Vessel, I had

not given the Lamb His due. I always used a blanket approach on

the proceeds for God going to pay for socialized healthcare.

I was inspired by the Holy Spirit and put together Gods Legacy

Trust LLC in one day. This is when I realized that I am responsible

for establishing an Earthly, Everlasting Entity so that

Jesus Christ may establish His Throne and dwell with His people

healing them.

That is when I started my intensive research to find out who

I am and if I truly do have a purpose for Him. Remember, I still

have yet to have anyone refute my claims that legacywillandtrust.

com will accomplish what I say it will.

I read the Bible, I searched the internet, I found what I sought.

Once I started putting the pieces together, more and more fell into

place that encouraged me to endeavor to persevere. I only had the

Wonderful Counselor as my guide. I was instructed to write down

what I had seen, heard, read and experienced. While I awaited my

first book to be published and my websites to be built, I still had

a burning desire to share what my observations of our world are

and what our Creator would think of it. It’s not a pretty picture.

I was so proud of myself for finishing the manuscript of five

years of my life. I guess pride does cometh before the fall, because

my manuscript was not accepted by the one that inspired

me. It was the worst Christmas I have ever and pray to have had.

I slipped into a very intoxicated state of mind with total devastation

of my heart. I had lost you and had to gain strength from our

Father to continue. I knew that I had a Gift and it would be difficult

vi

to deliver, I just didn’t know it would tear my heart in two. My

soul mate or my God. I will always choose our Creator, I pray He

will provide a soul mate for me.

I was told by several people that the second manic episode

was completely obscure to them. I knew that I had to explain it,

but I didn’t know I’d be writing another book to do so. It was the

only way that I could encapsulate what the Holy Spirit was putting

on my heart. It was way too much for me to write down, so I

used my gift of Aletheia to capture the essence of the message. As

I started to revisit the episode, the Holy Spirit began to plummet

me with more thoughts. Many I had before that I had put on the

lost tapes. I knew that I had wisdom that would help the masses

and hopefully reintroduce God’s people back to Him. It is the

travesties that man places on man, that allows Satan to rule over

God’s people. I pray I can clear up a lot of confusion for people as

they go through this trial and error period. It’s still the same rule

book, but a modern day look at it. I pray that my Father is pleased

with my efforts, all I do is for Him. Yes, it is a slippery slope and I

am scared. I will face Jesus and He will be my defense counselor

before our God. If trying to establish Him an Everlasting, Earthly

Kingdom in which He may heal and dwell among us is wrong,

then I don’t want to be right.

Now the acts of David the king, first and last, behold, they

are written in the history of Samuel the seer, and in the Book

of Nathan the prophet, and in the history of Gad the seer; - 1

Chronicles 29:29

And the rest of the acts of Solomon first and last, are they not

written in the Acts of Nathan the prophet, and in the prophecy of

Ahijah the Shilonite, and in the visions of Iddo the seer concerning

Jeroboam the son of Nebat? - 2 Chronicles 9:29

Daniel prophesied Jesus riding in on a donkey. Jesus fulfilled

prophecy. The Bible is a prophetic book and I contend that the

vii

lost books may be prophetic for the future and our present day.

I am proud to be a humble servant of the Lord and blessed to

deliver His Gift. The revealing of the Seven Sealed Two-Sided

Scroll, His Last Will and Testament.

Notice the statement “first and last”. The author is referring

to lineage. I do not claim to be in that royal lineage, but I have

been inspired to fulfill their individual quests for God, to fulfill

prophecy and create a Kingdom on Earth for our Savior.

Gods Last Will and Testament

Book of Nathan

The Acts of Nathan the Prophet

Book of Nathan II

I Will always Love and Care for you. You are the Keeper of

my Heart, please guard it well.

Your Brother in Christ,

Nate

 

ix

TABLE OF CONTENTS

***HAPPY EASTER*** 2010 iii

TABLE OF CONTENTS ix

FOREWORD xi

PREFACE xv

PREFACE XX xviii

PREFACE XXX xxxii

REFLECTIONS 1

666 THE MARK OF THE BEAST 193

IT’S IN THERE PREGO THE SEED OF GOD 203

SECOND MANIC EPISODE “THE CRAZY STUFF” REVISITED 291

LETTER TO: INSANE MALES PG XIII 427

I AM LONELY 459

DOOBIE DOOBIE SMOKE A DOOBIE 481

JUDGMENT DAY ALL MEN 491

I AM... AND I WILL... 499

FACEBOOK LETTER TO: (2ND WIFE)

RESOLVEMENT TO LOSS 503

“BATTLE” OF FAITH 517

x

LAST ACT OF NATHAN THE PROPHET 551

GOOD FRIDAY 2010

HIS KINGDOM WILL ARISE THANK YOU JESUS 557

LAST DANCE WITH (2ND WIFE) ONE MORE

TIME TO FEEL THE PAIN 563

ALL MEN 573

BUSH ADMINISTRATION REPLY “ON

AND ON MY FRIEND” 579

xi

FOREWORD

Darren S Chamlee To understand the meaning of what is

happening in all prophecies is to have received the Reward of

the Seven Seals from the Lamb or at this time from the Chosen

Vessel); and I have set thee so: thou wast upon the holy

mountain of God; thou hast walked up and down in the midst

of the stones of fire.

All life upon the earth since the fall of Adam and Eve,

consists of what God condemned in the first creation. Now everyone

is to choose their destiny. God saved every spirit that

was destroyed in the first creation, placing the spirits in more

glorious bodies to inhabit and enjoy through eternity; having

a new heart and a new mind, knowing only the knowledge of

good without the evil knowledge. Everyone in this world of

sin, has experienced the good things (sunshine, food, friendship)

with the evil things. Each individual makes the choice

for themselves, as their conscience directs through the enlightenment

of God’s Word in their mind. Thereby knowing

which destiny they will fulfill in the prophetic Word of God.

The righteous accept the Seven Seals Revelation into their

right hand and eat the scroll as John did in Rev.10:10, thereby

receive God’s revealed surname (Koresh) into their forehead

(mind; understanding the scroll). The wicked choose an interpretation

of God’s Word by their ministers and churches,

which are supported by the government of man, being part of

the Beast. The Beast’s number is six, because on the sixth day

God created the beasts and man.

xii

Nathan Isbell Thanks for the forward my friend. If you think

of anything else, give me a post.

Darren S Chamlee These are actually excerpts from a piece

called the Hidden Manna, Return to the Future and Back Again.

Nathan Isbell Really, I thought you were writing about my

purpose for God. No kidding, even the verbiage or did you change

that up?

Darren S Chamlee That was my understanding in another’s

words.....I thought you might have appreciated it.

Darren S Chamlee It’s kind of freaky what is revealed when

we seek to understand.

Nathan Isbell You will understand what “IT” is that we all

seek, when you understand that 666 can be so much more attractive.

You can interpret so many things the way you want by what

is on your personal agenda. It is very freaky, I went through “IT”.

I think that anyone that has truly had a spiritual awakening can

see “IT”, but they don’t understand “IT”. There are those that

fake “IT” to make “IT” and there are those that MOCK WHAT

THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND and the vocally robust continue

to rule over God’s people.

Darren S Chamlee August 4 at 2:30pm

Which side of the fence?

If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this

is a greattest!

If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.

If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

xiii

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.

If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products

banned for everyone.

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better

his situation.

A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

Democrats demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion

silenced.

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about

shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a Republican reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends know

how to vote in November!

A Democrat will delete it because he’s “offended”.

Well, I forwarded it. A little humor to lighten the load. “D”

xiv

Nathan Isbell Big D,I used to believe that, but the Republicans

can be too strict in some areas and loosy goosy when they

want to get into the Democrats pants. I believe we need a new

party, the Leper Party. A party of the rest of us folks that do most

of the living, working, paying and dying around here.

Darren S Chamlee

You’re right! They’re all freaking crooked!

xv

PREFACE

I would like to dedicate this book to Jesus Christ my Lord and

Savior and my ever so Wonderful Counselor. He wasn’t just with

me this time, He carried me. He Will carry all Lepers that will

receive Him. He is the portal to the Father.

While I awaited my first book to be revealed to the World, I

was still climbing the walls with the thoughts that the Holy Spirit

was putting on my heart. I was told to write my thoughts down.

These thoughts are what I have seen, heard, read, experienced

and what the Holy Spirit puts on my heart that resonated in my

brain. That is all. I do not wish to challenge anyone on their beliefs,

just as I do not wish to be challenged on mine. Let my words

speak for themselves and the Father be my Judge. I throw myself

at His mercy, for I feel that I am doing what I was intended to do

for Christ. It is a very slippery slope and I hope and pray that I am

doing His Will. I am convinced in my heart that I am doing His

Will and will accept the consequences on Judgment Day.

I must ask forgiveness from all that I have offended and will

offend. I only speak the Truth as I deem it based on my own frame

of reference. I will have error in my judgment and my words will

always need to be questioned and subject to critical analysis. Just

as I would expect from our Leaders and peers. Also I ask for

forgiveness for my own gift of ADHD and the tangents of stories

derived thereof.

This is a Love, Love Lost and hopefully Redemption story.

As you know, alcohol and cigarettes have been my demons for

most of my life and they have robbed me for more than half of it.

I did clean up my act when I picked the book and website project

xvi

up. I wanted to prove to my (2nd Wife) that I was not crazy and

was just trying to fulfill my purpose. That didn’t work out to well

for me, although I give her full credit for being the catalyst for

me finishing this project. After my attempt fell on deaf ears, my

heart was broken and I was a crushed man. I put myself into a

hibernation mode and began drinking again. How many of you

can relate? I wanted to click forward my future to the point of the

discovery and success of Gods Last Will and Testament. I was

clicking my way to death and I knew it. I also knew that I needed

to come out of this hibernation state come spring or seek counsel.

A lot of this book was written while I was drinking. Let me

first apologize to my God and then to all of His people. I was not

being the Witness for Him that He has prepared. I knew exactly

what I was doing to my body. I wanted it. I wanted my days to

be short. I wanted my senses to be numb. I wanted to be alone. I

wanted to talk to God. The alcoholic in me justified the drinking

to be able to connect with God better. If you are an alcoholic or

addict, you know how creative we are. We are all creative in our

ways as to not reveal our own leprosy. What demon has a hold on

you that hinders you from living a full life with Christ?

You may not like my path. It may not be the path that you

would choose. Of my own free will do I choose the path that I am

on. I will be alone when I meet my maker. I alone will be judged

by my decisions in life and you won’t be there to hold my hand.

Jesus will hold my hand and plead my case before the Father.

I am who I am and I am in Christ. This is My Path as I try and

complete My Purpose for Our One and Only Father who art in

Heaven. Aren’t all paths to GOD GOOD?

Lord, please forgive me of my transgressions just as I have

forgiven my transgressors. Please save this wretched sinner from

an eternity of torment in the pits of Hell, an extension of what I

have created here of my own free will.

xvii

Please Lord, I believe in You. I believe you died for my sins.

I believe you arose to Heaven to be with our Father. I believe you

sent the “Wonderful Counselor”, the Holy Spirit to speak to all

hearts that would listen unto You. Please Lord take the soul of

this humble servant when you see the time fit, that My Purpose

for you is complete.

Lord, please enable me to harness my demons and live a clean

and healthy life. Please speak to Your people and ask them to pray

for me, for when they pray for me, they are praying for their own

family leper. He or She is there, whether they are aware of it or not.

-The Prophet Nathan

a humble servant of the Lord

xviii

PREFACE XX

06/25/2010

Hello,

My name is Nathan and I’m an alcoholic. This is my story as

I embark on a life without alcohol. My public confession of Faith

is both Humiliating and Redeeming. Humiliating that I confess

all. Redeeming that I have nothing to hide. I’m just like you. Have

you ever been Naked with Jesus before? Come and join us, it is

very revealing. Naked being a metaphor for bearing your soul to

Christ. But if you want to get Naked, go right ahead. LOL I wish

I was with you. Hey, that’s not to imply that the Father condones

Naked Churches for all you perverted fruit loops. (I wish I could

join, but I have restraint) Just that you will be Judged by only one

God and your God sees your soul. So why hide it?

I have asked our Father to help me battle the demon that has

controlled my entire adult life. He sent me the Holy Spirit aka

“Wonderful Counselor”. He spoke to my heart and I answered.

We had a long chat. There is a place in my heart where I allowed

my own Demon to enter of my own free will. My Demon became

so strong and was doing everything in it’s power to destroy what

my Lord had put on my heart. I would have to say that we all

have a Judas in our lives. Something that betrays us and we betray

ourselves because it is what we want. Or what we think we want?

Even with my Faith, as powerful as it is in the Father, the Son,

and the Holy Spirit, I am powerless over my Demon Alcohol. I

need the help of my fellow brother. I can not do this without Him

xix

or Them. I have battled many Demons in my life. This is by far

the most difficult one to slay.

I am not a writer. But I was compelled to write down my

thoughts. I am not a Saint, but a walking, functioning alcoholic.

I have committed many sins and have begged for forgiveness. I

pray that I am doing what I was intended to to do, because I’m not

sure with my mind, but I am sure with my heart. I won’t defend

myself because my Lord has told me to let you read what is written

and make up your own minds what you believe.

This book was written with a broken heart and in a drunken

state of mind. I guess I can honestly say, “Thanks Judas”, thanks

for being in my life so that I could find my Purpose for God. Now

it is time for me to conquer my Demon and become the Witness

that I was intended to be. For His Glory and Not His Shame. I

believe He revealed my purpose for Him because I went searching

for it. Why would He choose me? A drunk, intelligent, used

car salesman. The question I asked myself was, “Why not Me”?

I have nothing to lose and all to gain. I’ve lost it all and with His

Grace I am gaining it back with Serenity. How can you kick a

horse that is down? How can you spit on someone that portrays

a deep part of yourself? How can you crucify someone that tells

the truth as hurtful as it may be?

My Dearest Judas, “Good Night Sweetheart, well it’s time to

go.” “Thanks for the Memories”. I learned more from my mistakes

than I ever did from my triumphs. Thanks again my brother,

for fulfilling the role that you were intended for. It must have been

a torment from Hell. I asked my brother Jesus Christ to forgive

our brother Judas for His betrayal. I know in my heart what His

answer would be, a resounding “Yes my Brother” you are forgiven.

For all that you did was the Fathers Plan and exemplified

all Man for us to measure ourselves by. Satan becomes the flesh

when you allow him to come into your heart. Judas is our scapegoat

to learn by. And we all have a Judas in our hearts.

xx

I have written names and dates and I want you to know that I

am not a Seer. “Not My Area”. It was just wishful thinking on my

part based on what I believe would be best for our Country. I’ll

leave the fortune telling and other crazy stuff to the false prophets.

Speaking of Prophet. A Prophet is one who speaks from God.

It pays nothing and cost plenty. Anyone can be a Prophet of God,

all you do is accept Him into your heart and start talking to Him.

You just have to train your heart to listen. Your eyes will be blind,

your ears will be deaf, your lips will yearn to taste. Your Heart

will Hear Him. When you praise and witness, you are a prophet of

God. You don’t get a wand or a funny hat and robe. I still haven’t

received any checks from the Board of Prophets, but now that

you are here, we can file a grievance with the union. LOL

Lord,

My inept writing skills may have people confused about the

Gift and message that you demand I deliver. I have opened my

heart and soul to all that would listen. I have confessed my sins

publicly. I have begged for forgiveness. I have faced betrayal, denial,

torment, humiliation etc... What else must I face to do your

will? Lord, give me the strength to convey all my craziness in an

encapsulated cliff note type version. I am sooo.... ready to get this

off my plate and I just don’t care anymore.

I do care because I’ll have to carry you.

I don’t care because I love you.

TELL THEM

Hang on, you’re putting me on the spot again. I need to pray.

I’m going to my fourth twelve step meeting and when I get back.

I WILL!!!

One more thing before I go. All I ever wanted in life was to

be Loved. Maybe I can find “IT” amongst the Lepers. I thought

xxi

that all I needed was my Lord Jesus Christ to love me and I would

be content. I must confess Lord, I love you with all my heart, but

I need the love of my brothers and sisters as well. Deliver us all

from the Demons that distract us from the Masters Plan and let

us erect His Everlasting Earthly Kingdom built with the bricks of

Mankind for the Glory of God and allow Him to dwell among us

and Heal us.

Gotta go I’m late. Typical LOL.

I think I have found the Island of Misfit Toys. And I finally

fit in. There are dentists, doctors, lawyers, teachers, city workers

etc... Rudolph the Red nose Drunk. But you can call me Nathan.

LOL I see Hope that these misfits can help this misfit slay the

Dragon that has been dragging me down my entire adult life. I

can see right now that I must add another chapter to the continuing

saga we call Life. But I have orders to bring you up to date in

a concise manner, all of this that has come to pass.

He saw some of the misfit toys had a disregard for Santa,

but believed in a higher power. He didn’t blame the man for his

belief, after all, he was stuck on an Island with a weak Lion in

control. He wondered why that Lion would not go over to Santa

and get in his face and say “HEY, what about us. Don’t we get

any Love”. The Lion was wise to not give them their love. For he

knew Santa would just say something like, “IT” is here. “IT” has

been here the whole time. Come on over here and get your Gift.

We didn’t forget you. You chose to isolate yourself because you

had been hurt. Santa has a Gift for you. He gives you a purpose

in life. He asks that your purpose be to help others to find their

own purpose and that will enable you to find your own purpose

in the process.

He thought about that for a moment and his revelation was,

what is it that I want? (A typical Me Me thought) I want to be

loved. So if you give, you receive. Hmmm....if I love someone

xxii

else that is in need of love, maybe I will receive it as well. But

who is in need? He pondered. They wear such beautiful masks

during the day.

Once upon a Time,

There lived a good boy with great parents that did all he could

do to please everyone. He studied real hard and got good grades.

Traveled the World as a Navy brat. He participated in most sports

and scouting activities. He had a great childhood, learning many

valuable things that began to establish his frame of reference and

allowed him to make right and wrong decisions. He was told that

mistakes were bad and we don’t want to make mistakes. He was

never told that mistakes can be good if we learn from them.

He wasn’t the smartest kid, he wasn’t the most handsome, he

wasn’t the most athletic...He was pretty much the tall skinny kid

with glasses. No self-confidence, but with an inner glow that he

was more, just waiting for his opportunity. And always willing to

put it all on the line.

Searching for a mentor to emulate, he was educated and exposed

to the work place. Not fully realizing that many things had

been omitted in his studies. But due to his laziness to learn and

ego of having “IT” figured out, he began to chase his dream to

be rich.

He engaged as most do, into the “Rat Race” game. Being

convinced of his superior intellect, he blazed his own trail in most

endeavors he pursued. So when he finally found something that

he perceived as his opportunity, he bet the family farm. I think

you can fill in your own blanks as to the result of that.

Faced with failure, the options began to run through his mind.

All life lines had been exhausted and there was no Hope of recovering

from this blow. He chose to ask God for help and made

xxiii

the mistake of telling his loved ones about it. Holy Crap did that

open a can of worms for him. Shortly there after he found himself

broke, isolated and yearning for his family back. Once he made

this commitment to God, there was no going back to save this relationship.

He moved on and put the encounter on the back burner

and shortly after that, found the love of his life. Imagine, finding

the love of his life in just two dates into the singles world. That’s

a lucky somebody huh?

He was actually lucky to have this person come into his life,

because she was ultimately the catalyst for him completing his

purpose for God that he hadn’t quite figured out just yet. He built

his frame of reference more and more. Not only was he re-inventing

himself spiritually, but he searched for any source of wisdom

that could quench a thirst that seemed unquenchable.

He recalls a seed that had been planted when he attempted to

prepare his own Last Will and Testament, but the seed fell on undernourished

soil and went into hibernation in his subconscious.

When faced with a financial tsunami, he reached for the seed and

no one believed him, nor would even take the time to listen. You

see, he had fallen on a path of alcohol and as any alcoholic and

their friends will tell you. “Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.”

His words meant nothing because he was no longer even considered

worthy to be heard. He tried to reach people he did not know,

people that were in an influential position to no avail. They had

become to important to hear anything past their own agendasHe

set out to take on the project all alone. Yet still didn’t realize what

this project was until he started to search for his purpose for God.

It was at this point that all the pieces began to come together.

That his purpose was to ….. still didn’t have all the pieces. He

continued the search and the obstacles kept getting larger and the

praise kept being challenged. What am I doing? Everyone thinks

I’m crazy, think I’ll have another drink. I must not listen to them.

I must endeavor to persevere. He would say to himself.

xxiv

After five yrs of aimlessly searching for contentment in a

drunken state of mind, he started asking pointed questions for

the purpose of his own existence. At first he would answer his

own questions with his own drunk witted remarks. When his own

remarks began to reveal his own existence, that is when he realized

that he was now listening to the Holy Spirit and had been

for a very long time. He just hadn’t been taught to listen with his

heart. His remarks didn’t seem to be his own, but from a state of

mind, even as inebriated as his mind had become. His answers

were now coming faster than his own quandaries. He had given

control over to the Holy Spirit and he became the interviewee.

He had no reason to not be honest with the Spirit. No one would

laugh, but himself laughing at himself to avoid crying and change

the outlook of the situation. He chose Hope over Despair and he

did this by realizing that tomorrow is a new day and he couldn’t

really do anything about his performance yesterday, but ask for

forgiveness wholeheartedly as he had done so many times in the

past. Make any type of retribution for those actions and then forgive

himself.

He took on challenges that he never thought he would have

to face. He built websites even as intimidated by the computer as

he was. He published books, the concept that seemed to be an impossible

dream at the time. He overcame any comfort zone issue

that kept him from completing his purpose for God. He sobered

up while he compiled his notes and created a manuscript. This

book would fulfill his purpose, get his children back, wipe out all

of his Demons and be the “IT” that could finally solve “IT” so

he could rest knowing “IT” is all under control. This manuscript

would get his lost love back and he would live happily ever after,

so he thought. She was his catalyst that gave him strength to

continue. He wanted her to see what “IT” was, he was doing for

Christ to prove he was a Godly man wearing the suit of a sinner

for all to see. So would that like make me a sheep in wolves clothing?

Yes, I think it would, he proclaimed.

xxv

That kick in the teeth was all it took to send him where he had

frequented twice before. Back to God to fix him. He would pray,

Lord, I’m broken again. Please fix me. But this time he would not

be fixed until he had completed what he had started and release

the cause for his unrest and the unrest of his forefathers. He knew

what his purpose for God was and that was to deliver God’s Gift

at all costs. Wow, what a ride, he reflected.

He had already been on this path twice and had learned from

his past mistakes of mania. He had learned how to control this

state of mind and enjoy the euphoria. He had learned how to

control his alcoholism and finish his purpose by not controlling

it and letting the alcohol completely take control in a controlled

environment. He did as little drinking and driving as possible and

most of it was on the short drive to the liquor store to refuel for

the experience. He challenged his demon alcohol to a duel. Our

Lord was up for the challenge and seemed like he had been waiting

a long time on the sidelines, waiting to play. Kind of like, “Put

Me in Coach, I’m Ready to Play”. Okay kid, show ‘em what you

got. He couldn’t definitively answer for the future outcome because

it will take a lifetime, but he had very high hopes for Jesus.

Now that he had found some like-kind disciples that he anxiously

wanted to call his friends.

He was convinced that he was connecting better with God

while intoxicated. He had even justified his Demon to the Almighty.

Like, “You Talking to Me”. If you want me, you got to

take me like I am. So God allowed him all the rope he requested.

He was so very smart after all. You know, solving the two largest

riddles of Mankind and all. He just got so damn smart, no one

wanted to be around him and he couldn’t figure it out. He had so

much to share with everyone. He realized that he was alone on the

plane that he was on. A plane with no captain or cocktail waitress.

That’s a bitch. He had popped his head outside the box to look in

and find out what the hell is happening to his world. In his circle

xxvi

of influence, no one could see past themselves. This is a quest that

I must make alone, he thought.

All I need is this bottle and that’s all I need. And this lamp, I

need that. All I need is this bottle, this lamp and that’s all I need

and this chair. I need this. That’s it, that’s all I need. This bottle,

this lamp and this chair and that other bottle in case I run out. -

The Jerk

God blessed him financially to pursue his Passions and Demons.

He procrastinated about his purpose for God and escalated

his thirst for justified mental pain relief. He was blessed not to

have hurt himself or anyone else except the loved ones that he left

in his wake of self-destruction. He wondered, how many knots

can I tie myself up in before I run out of rope? The Lord replied

to his heart...

YOUR TIME HAS COME

YOUR TIME HAS GONE

IT IS YOUR TIME

TO INSPIRE THY

BROTHER

I WILL

GIVE YOU

TIME

TAKE IT

DAMN THY HAND

He reaches his hand out to his Leper brothers and sisters and

finds they are reaching even more passionately than himself. He

prays and is thankful for the opportunity to find love, happiness

and contentment again. He is thankful for that one last chance

that God gives to us all before we meet Him. He is convinced

that he has a gift from God and will remain in unrest until it is

delivered. He knows that if it is to be delivered on the wings of a

Dragon, it will most certainly fail. With his new circle of Leper

xxvii

friends, he is certain he can imprison “IT” for a thousand years

and fulfill his purpose. He humbles himself to ask of his brothers

and sister in Christ. He cries out: I thought you were all I need?

I don’t need anyone else but you Lord. My brothers hurt me, my

sisters hate me. Why do you forsake him? Why do you bless him?

My brothers and sister in Christ, he needs your help with this

cross that he bears for us all. Who will succeed him if he fails to

deliver God’s Gift? Who will help carry him?

My Leper Brothers and Sisters in Christ, I need your help. I

do not possess the talents to complete my purpose for God. I have

hired a web designer and have not gotten satisfaction. I beg of

you to search your heart and help me with this project. By helping

me, you may find your own purpose. What a gift I am offering

you. What a “Gift” I AM... has offered me.

Thank you Lord, thank you for sending the Wonderful Counselor

to direct my thoughts. Thank you for blocking my path and

showing me yours. I was never meant to accomplish this purpose

without the help from my brothers and sisters was I? It was my

arrogance and frustration with my brothers that made me think I

could do it alone. But I know that I am never alone because I will

always have You. I know that I will join You soon enough. I know

I will be judged for my actions or the lack thereof. I know You

put on my heart, the Salvation of Mankind. Who’d have thunk it.

You always have worked in mysterious ways. I guess your

coming has got to come with a little crazy doesn’t it? I never

thought you’d come on a surfboard shooting fire balls from your

ass or anything. I just could have never imagined me being one

of the two witnesses. If that is even who I am. All I know is that I

was compelled to do what I have done and then get the hell out of

the way. Let God’s people finish this Gift. My talents can only go

so far before I have to enlist the assistance from my very talented

brother. If my brother hasn’t discovered his talents, it is my talent

to help him to discover them.

xxviii

Lord, you know my soft spot is with the handicapped. Physically

and mentally. I could never be around them and I did not

know how to judge my own heart in this arena. I have a new

facebook friend in Kenya Africa. His name is Jumaa Mtuku and

lives in the Nairobi Homes. He is handicapped and was asking

me for a laptop computer so that he may better connect with the

world. I told him that I had something better than a laptop, I have

a concept that will grow charity and provide them with so much

more. He thanked me and is praying for me now. I guess the reason

the handicapped have always made me sick at my stomach is

because my heart was hurting so much. I recognize the challenges

they face as they attempt to find or give purpose to themselves or

to another individual searching for their own.

You know every time I thought it couldn’t get worse, it either

got worse or God showed me how bad things could be and to stop

whining about a very blessed life that I have lived.

If I can please get my Leper Brothers and Sisters to pray with

me now.

GOD,

Grant me the SERENITY to

accept the things I cannot change.

The COURAGE to change

the things that I can

and the WISDOM to

know the difference.

He could not have beaten Himself to the point of death. He

could not carry the cross alone. He could not dig the hole to hoist

the cross. He could not put on a crown of thorns. He could not

climb up the cross. He could not drive nails into His hands and

feet securing Himself to the cross. He could not feed Himself

sour wine on the cross. He could not pierce His side for the blood

and water to rush from on the cross. He could not free himself

xxix

from the cross. He could not have rolled back the stone of His

earthly tomb. He required the help from His brothers. Our Father

sat back and watched it happen with tears as any true Father

would. Because that is our Covenant. It’s of our own free will

what to believe. And we suffer the consequences of those decisions.

Christs’ death was planned. Yeah, it was an inside job.

Christ was here to deliver a message of hope and love. He knew

exactly what His purpose for the Father was. His purpose was to

save us from our sins and let us know that there would be a time

that He would come back. He promised to send the “Wonderful

Counselor”. He asks for us not to be sad for His leaving. He knew

the program folks. I’m not so sure that any of us would want to

endure that type of torment for their brother. It’s not mankind that

beats me down my brother. It is the lure of mankinds creations.

The sad part is, I give myself every lash. Lash after lash after lash.

I can either keep lashing and die, or I can realize that I am doing

it to myself of my own free will. I can recognize it once and for

all, so I can make attempts to correct and control “IT”. “IT” is

my Demon.

MY BROTHERS

I AM

HERE

I WILL

HEAL

He was risen to be at the right hand of the Father. He kept His

promise by sending back the “Wonderful Counselor” aka The

Holy Spirit. You will witness a battle as prophesied. Just not a

battle like you were expecting. It is a battle that is in each and

everyone of us. We just all have different Demons that tear us

away from our true purpose here on Earth.

I pray with our Fathers Grace that I will be able to touch your

heart in a way that you know how to find your purpose in life and

that is to help someone else find there’s. I ask you to pray for me

xxx

as I embark on my journey of sobriety, for when you pray for me,

you pray for the Lepers in your own family. Whether you know

who they are or not.

The drunk in me wanted to apologize for anyone I offend and

it started off something like you sons of B....’s LOL The sober

me asks for your forgiveness and love as I share the Truth from

the perspective of a brother that has lived through many of the

same circumstances as you have. What I have not experienced for

myself, I gained by your articulations. The Holy Spirit demanded

that I share.

You know, I was in one of my more clever drunken modes

when I asked Carol this question. If you were to describe yourself

as a spice, what spice would it be?

ginger .... once you peel the outer cover off

you get something firm and fragrant ...

Isn’t that a great answer. Hey, she has a lot of great answers

and I’m sure her story can touch some folks. We laughed if God’s

books take off, if she would write the “Book of Carolpaetra”.

LOL LO L... I guess you had to be there. Her story is one that I

have heard before. I have not experienced it except through her

articulation. Therefore, she would tell the story much better than

I could ever.

Anthropomorphism - an animal or non-human object portraying

human characteristics

If our Father had asked me the same question. Like what kind

of a spice would you be for Me? I would normally be able to pull

something out of my ass right away and everyone would laugh.

But now that I am reprogramming, I would have to have some

time to think it through. You see, I will strive to have the best answer

for our God, so that I can have the lime light. Do you see the

xxxi

correlation between this behavior and the behavior of “Scurry”

and “Him”? “Scurry” is so weak with his Demon, he couldn’t pull

a greasy string out of a rats ass. “Him” has said, screw it, there

has to be something better and went seeking. These are characters

from the book “Who Moved My Cheese”.

I understand perfectly what Jesus was referring to when He

said He could only give us so much information and was dying

to give more. His message was a message of Hope and Love. We

could not grasp all that He wanted to share. That is why He sent

back a “Wonderful Counselor” and a Wonderful Counselor He is,

if you will listen to your heart instead of your mind occasionally.

Or pull your head out of your ass. Whichever works for you. LOL

You can allow your heart to be involved in your decision making

process. I promise you, it makes life a hell of a lot easier. “Jesus

take the wheel”.

Anything that is Free, the Hogs are first in line at the

trough. The pigs that need to be fattened are left out. Remember

God’s Gift is for the pigs, the truly needy. Look past

yourselves my brothers and sisters and let the truly needy

have what they need. Remember, Hogs are slaughtered and

Pigs are fed. You will be judged harshly on this account.

Sounds like we need to break out the old highlighter on that

one. Or do you need another version.

I’d like to hear Gov. Romney’s version on how the healthcare

plan worked out for his state. Something tells me that every Hog

in the state ran to get the Doctor to look at the corn on their big

toe. I could be wrong, quite often I am. We can always agree to

disagree, but that solves nothing. Let’s examine the facts shall

we. Let God be the test pilot for free healthcare and with our

charity, slop the Hogs because the pigs need to be fed, watered,

sheltered, clothed and cared for. God and you know who’s in need

and who’s in greed.

xxxii

PREFACE XXX

8/15/2010

Good Evening Lord, thanks for a great sober day with You.

I will be 8 wks sober tomorrow and I will be out of town for my

60 day mark. I find it necessary to see if I can encapsulate the

journey that I have been on in a short and understandable letter

to my brothers and sisters in Christ. I pray that You can confine

my thoughts and make a point that they can understand. Thanks.

I just remembered what you put on my heart last night. I almost

forgot because I didn’t want to get out of bed and write it down.

LOL

Lord, what happened to Rudolph and the Dentist after that

Glorious Night?

Rudolph the red nose reindeer. What an epic tale. One

that continues to this very day. It all began with the birth of

a deer that was different. Rudolph was very wise because he

had been on many trips with Santa and didn’t mind sharing

the experience with his fellow deer that would listen. None

of the deer had seen Santa, but they knew that Santa was in

Rudolph’s heart and that he spoke authoritatively for Santa.

He even plotted a course of sharing gifts with every household.

At least to all that would believe that Santa would come

if they wished hard enough, hung stockings and sent a letter.

Many would even leave carrots for the reindeer and cookies

for Santa himself. The Merry ‘ole Soul.

Rudolph began to tell all of the deer about the charted

course of Santa. Some believed him and some did not. Some

xxxiii

of the Elves of Authority began to question the validity of this

supposed charted course of spreading good will. They even

saw it as a threat to their own authority over the deers as well

as the other elves.

The head elves began to plot against Rudolph and soon

found a trusted friend willing to betray Rudolph for mere

silver. The elves and deer gathered and condemned Rudolph

for having a charted course from Santa, when they themselves

have never seen, much less ridden with Santa. And of

course with their arrogance, if Santa would speak to anyone,

it would be them. They are the head elves after all.

They rallied the other clueless elves until the decision to

crucify Rudolph was final. Because Rudolph had already

been speaking to Santa, he knew what the elves were plotting

to do all along. He even made the necessary steps to prepare

his fellow deer believers. He told them the things they witness

must happen, so that Santa could send the spirit of Rudolph

to touch the hearts of other believers. Rudolph knew it would

be difficult for his deer friends to understand, so that is why

he always spoke in ways that could touch everyone at different

times of their life. Santa had already told Rudolph that

his words would have to be timeless to reach the believer that

would finally finish the charted course that has been all but

burned, so others could follow.

Rudolph was stripped of his hide and hung to dry out and

die. His stripped lifeless corpse was placed in a cave, sealed

by stone and guarded by elves. Santa then took Rudolph for

himself. Heart, mind, body and soul. Rudolph now is at the

right hand of the Santa praying for Santa to penetrate the

hearts of his fellow deer creating a portal for communication.

Rudolph didn’t have a red nose, it was a metaphor for

being able to shed light needed to blaze a trail of goodness

xxxiv

and chart a course. No, the red nose came much later. Many

generations of deer have come and gone since Rudolph ascended

to the North Pole and Santa has continued his search

for the deer that seeks his purpose for both Santa and Rudolph.

This deer must be willing to follow blind faith in Santa

and Rudolph, because he himself can only hear the Spirit of

Rudolph if Santa opens the portal to his heart allowing “IT”

to be filled.

Santa knew that the deer to deliver the Gift, would have

a red nose of defeat and drunkenness. A dreamer among deer

that have lost their dream and the dream of Rudolph.

Lord, can I stop You there. I’m tired. I want to hear all about

the dreaming deer tomorrow. He sounds like a “Wild and Crazy”

deer. LOL I also want to know about the dentist. You haven’t mentioned

him yet in your story. Good Night my Lord. Thanks for the

sober day.

8/16/2010

Good afternoon Lord, please grant me another sober day. I’ve

been running errands to get this new project started. Still have a

little to do and then we will finish this story. I am in contact with

the book editor to process before sending to distributor. I hope to

have this done before going out of town.

Okay Lord, tell me about this dreaming deer. Wait, hold that

thought. I need to make this meeting at seven. I’ll be right back.

Do what you need to do to stay sober my brother. I’ll be

with you.

K...I’m back.

xxxv

K...As I was saying, generation after generation went by

as Santa waited for that special red nosed deer that would be

worthy in Santa’s eyes. Maybe not in the eyes of the elves or

even the other deer, but Santa waited for that deer to get tired

of making mistakes and living with the consequences. He

waited for a deer that wanted to pick up where Rudolph had

left off. A deer that wanted to emulate Rudolph and speak to

Santa. By order of Santa, Rudolph left a charted course for

this red nose deer to follow as well as for anyone that seeks

their own path to Santa.

This red nose deer had discovered the rest of the course

and began to tell the elves of authority. He had no idea the resistance

he would encounter trying to shed some light on the

course that Rudolph had left. Many attempts were made to be

heard by the elves to no avail. The elves were more concerned

with making sure that the elves that did not build toys, were

taken care of by the elves and deer that do build toys. They

had not seen Santa’s Plan, the Plan that would complete the

circle of eternal Salvation for all elves and deer that wanted

to play the reindeer game of life and eternal life.

Oh this red nose deer just didn’t up and hear Rudolph.

He had to first allow the time portal to be opened by Santa

and then the Spirit of Rudolph began to fill his heart with

thoughts from Santa. This deer was given a Gift from Santa

to deliver to all the elves and deer. To rejoice that Rudolph

would finally be able to come back and love his deer brothers

and sisters, not in a physical living sense, but a spiritual one

created by the elves and deer themselves. When the red nose

deer came out of his mind altered state, he realized that the

chart that he himself had been tracking while seeking Santa,

was now a pathway for others to find Rudolph in their own

hearts, minds, bodies and souls also. This red nose deer had

so many Gifts to share with everyone, but he knew that he

could gain serenity if he could only help others to see that

xxxvi

there is a real North Pole and Rudolph is the guiding light

to Santa Himself. The phones lines are open to Rudolph, but

might I suggest that you listen to the Spirit of Rudolph with

your heart and write a letter to Santa about anything that is

on your mind. Rudolph is your Deer Brother that appreciates

all the carrot sticks you left him, but now it is time to pet

Rudolph and make him your best friend. Watch how you approach

him, but he won’t bite. He wants to come home with

you. Oh Herbie, can I, can I, can I, Pleeeeeeaaaaaasssssse...I’ll

take real good care of him. I’ll feed him, talk to him and take

him out for walks everyday.

We’ll see, he does seem to like you. Let me check with the

head elf and make sure that it doesn’t interfere with any of

his toy making agendas. You may have to wait a time longer,

the head elves are busy trying to come up with ideas to deliver

new toys with less deer and more elves. The sleigh continues

to get heavier as the elves greedily pile in, not sure how much

longer it will be before the deer won’t be able to get it off the

ground. It might be faster if you had some of that dust. Things

have been a little tough working on all of these rotten teeth

that the elves hide. The Fairy dust greases the elves personal

toy building machines. They have climate machines, energy

machines, communication machines, propaganda machines

etc...all designed to further their own personal toy empire.

Which machine do you wish to grease to deliver this Gift from

Santa?

I have no dust to grease the machine, but I do believe in

the Dream Machine of Santa. Rudolph finished the plan as

best he could, it is up to his Deer Brothers and Sisters to fulfill

the Dream of Rudolph and Santa alike.

I’m not sure why many of the elves and deer began to

question the charted course of Santa, but I guess Rudolph

has been gone for so long now and many deer have gotten off

xxxvii

course as they forged their own course. I guess this made it

a little easier for the elves to prove there was no Santa Claus

at all and Rudolph got what he had coming to him. Besides,

many of those same elves survive on the longevity of the head

elves machines. With no Fairy dust for them, their personal

machines breaks down and Santa will just have to wait yet

another year before delivering his gift to all the good little

boys and girls.

But don’t count the red nose deer out to fast. He no longer

has a red nose, but the vision of the most famous reindeer of

all and Santa’s last Gift, his Will and Testament.

Great story. Does Santa’s Will ever get read to the elves and

deer alike? Just to even see if the game is worth playing?

“IT” may crash burn, but “IT” is looking pretty good so

far. Thanks to the Top Guns of Santa.

Awesome tale Lord. I’m ready to call it a night. I may get beat

up over using some pagan stuff, but I don’t give a rats ass. I want

to question who determines what is pagan and what is not. I like

Santa and if the myth resonates with people as a positive pathway

to God, then I say great and screw you. I’m not worshiping Santa,

I’m gaining a better understanding of the Father, Son and Holy

Spirit and I pray you are too. Thanks for another sober day Lord.

I really just don’t think about “IT” much any more. But I know

“IT” patiently waits for the rest of my days.

Just thought of something else. I wonder if Cornelius ever

found that Silver lining he tirelessly sought. I sure spent the worst

part of my life trying to find that Silver and Gold for myself.

 

REFLECTIONS

2

6/27/2010

I am reflecting back to all that I have been through. The Joy,

sorrow, memories good and bad. How I had been trained. How

I had been deceived. How I dealt with “IT”. How I sought after

“IT”. It’s a pretty shaky set of rules if you ask me. Rules that can

be easily taken out of context as I am soooo..... discovering with

these damn texting and emails. I can’t hear your heart nor can

your brother. We already have enough wars going on abroad because

we do not speak the same tongue as our adversaries. Now

we are wanting to destroy our own little worlds to each other, because

texting is cool. Texting is easily taken out of context and the

next text may be your last to a great friend that took your text out

of context. “Like wake up girlfriend, I didn’t mean it like that”.

Damn, even sober I still got it. Keep ‘em coming Lord, I missed

out on my daughter’s life. Show me what it would have been like.

I would have liked to have been there. I would have liked to see

her first date pick her up at the door. I would like to have consoled

her on her first break up. I would have liked matching her funds

and buying a first clunker. I would have explained the benefits of

working for something are far greater than being given something.

I would have waxed it for her and followed her to college to make

sure the piece made it. I would have hugged and kissed her on the

cheek to let her know that I will always be here for her. I would

have rejoiced in her accomplishments and grieved in her sorrows.

I did what I could do. I prayed for her and I endeavored to persevere.

Sometimes you just have to choose God.

I do question myself if I am doing all of this while being possessed

by my demon alcohol. Hell Yes, who are you trying to kid.

Because even though I’m..., what was Monday morning since I

was drunk. He still lingers around every corner. He waits for me

to say, screw ‘em pour me a big one.

3

If this book doesn’t convince you that I am fulfilling prophecy,

then I guess I’m not the salesman God thought I was. But I

know in my heart I’m His number three salesman. Second to Jesus

Christ our Lord and Savior and third to the “Wonderful Counselor”.

I’m searching for the other witness. I need some competition

witnessing for our Father. I know who you are. Come and

claim your prize. My new name in Christ is Ophiuchus. Brother,

tell me your new name in Christ. I want to know your name and

what it means for the Glory of God. Now live it and live with the

consequences of your decisions made of your own free will.

When you are ready to reach the point of honesty with yourself,

your heart might be in the right place, but your mind is not.

Unfortunately we all have a Judas tucked away in our hearts.

Even Peter had a Judas tucked away for his denial. When you

learn to hear with your heart, you will have alter egos to chat

with. It reminds me of Kazoo in the Flintstones. Understand just

as Fred did, you make choices and live with the consequences

thereof. Do you remember Kazoo telling Fred, “I told you so

Dum Dum”.

I share these stories from movies of my past, so it can become

your frame of reference for generations to come. As generations

pass, new generations emerge. Because we are all about ourselves

and our immediate surroundings, it is very easy to forget the lessons

of the past. We just have to much going on in our own lives to

bother with Andy Griffith. Hey, I still kick myself to this day that

I didn’t get this t-shirt. It was a picture of Floyd the Barber laced

in Pink and the caption was Pink Floyd. I’m a huge fan of both,

but I’m Otis the town drunk, so what do I know. LOL Or Reverend

Jim on Taxi. I loved it when he started playing the piano after

embarrassing the red head chick. He says after playing eloquently,

“I must have learned how to do that sometime”. So hey, if you’re

a drunk, I know at least you are laughing with me. Not so sure

about everyone else. Screw ‘em let me get you another round and

4

we’ll talk about how we won the war. LOL You’re my good friend.

What did you say your name was?

This is worth mentioning again. Why are you coming home

half drunk? I ran out of money, get off my ass. I’m not sure how

much difference alcohol made in my life. I know it controlled it.

I know it robbed me of memories. But you know, I’m the type

person that likes to look at the bright side. How can I learn from

it and control it? I don’t have a freaking clue and that is why I

am seeking help from others that have been where I am now or

worse. I guess one could say that I paid a healthy sum for therapy.

I paid it with opportunity costs of life. If alcohol was my medicine

for my mental therapy to deal with life, then I paid a lot for

therapy.

So what happens after I fulfill my purpose. Will there be a

ticker tape parade in my honor? Will there be a monument of

me carved in a mountain? Will there be songs written about me?

I wouldn’t know because I’ve been warned about my vanity.

So any thanks and praise you may have, make your checks and

money orders payable to...LOL too funny, but true. Gods Legacy

Trust LLC. He is so ready to have His Kingdom here on Earth,

to invest into His children and Heal the Sick with the Praise from

thy brother. Just thought of something. If I’m this great salesman,

I could be a great scam artist as well. Maybe that is why the website

was blocked from my control. So the control could be of the

people. That’s how I wanted it, I just didn’t know how to have

an entity without a member. Don’t worry, we’ll get the lawyers

to draw it up. I hope you will know me well enough when this is

all over, that a scam is the furthest thing from my mind. Isn’t it

a shame that we even have to discuss that. I can’t say as I blame

you. I have been bent over enough myself and if we don’t change

our direction, the Government is going to give us a screwing like

we have never seen or could ever get out of. There will be no

option but to screw the working class to pay for all of the entitlements

that the non-working class get to enjoy at our expense.

5

“Share the Wealth” I like it. Try this on for size, “Share the Labor”

and you will share in the wealth that you create for yourself

and gain a sense of pride from your accomplishments.

But hell, I always thought the clean air tax was fair. I just

never got my bottle of it or shown the stations where I can refill

it. What the hell, let’s have a sunshine tax. All days that are cloudless

days, there will be no tax. But it must remain that way for the

full 24 hrs and it doesn’t fall on Sunday. Otherwise there will be a

sunshine tax. So let it be written, so let it be done. If my memory

serves me correctly and believe me when I tell you, you better

question me. LOL Jesus was seeing the same tax crap going on

in his time. Over taxation to the point of upheaval. That is one

of the things that He fought for and ruffled some feathers to say

the least. He was exposing the truth and it didn’t sit well with the

people that He was going to get into their pocket. Is it just me or

do you see a cycle here?

Hey, here’s a thought. We could text our dialogue to our Global

adversaries, get taken out of context and go ahead and get it

on. Which is exactly what is happening right now because we do

not speak their tongue. A tongue that was forged from birth. They

will follow their frame of reference and we will follow ours. And

the corrupt that use our Father as a divisive God will fuel their

own egos or are they just confused. Right...”Oh, you mean the

secret Nuclear research facility”. Let there be no doubt that we all

serve the same God. A God of Peace. I’m so over this war thing,

aren’t you? Did you see me flip my hair back. LOL “Like” aren’t

you? I think we all are over it. I think as a planet we are ready to

step up to the plate and except our place and do all that we can

for the Glory of God. Hate when I do that, I sound like a preacher.

Maybe we can derive the answer from that story of Saladin

and Nathan the Wise. Yes, I think there is great wisdom in that

story. Let’s see Saladin was the powerful Muslim that exhausted

his resources funding wars. Hmm...sounds like U.S. The Jew had

6

gained wealth and could easily be pursued. And the Christian,

well he hadn’t showed up yet. How was it that Nathan the Wise

managed to escape an ugly situation when he was being set up for

treason to be thrown in jail or worse, have his funds confiscated?

He found out what Saladin’s needs were and satisfied them to accomplish

a win win for both parties.

So if we were truly able to know the needs of the Muslim

people, we could create a win win situation? What if the power

of Caesar is in charge and he does not represent the sentiments of

the people? Yet is in control of their destiny. Hey, don’t blame me.

I chose Rambo and 007. You’re the one that went in head first.

It’s cool though, we learn not to make the same mistake and live

with the consequences of our actions. Not to get ghetto with it,

but somebody ought to pop a cap in that little sawed off Iranian

ass. Or convince me that his intentions are not to wipe Israel off

the globe for his own self fame. Sounds like some serious short

man syndrome to me. Hey Ghadafi, hows it hanging? Brilliant

plan of Reagan and can be yours “if the price is right”. Awwww....

Mercenaries...oh damn, what movie did I see that in? Robin Hood

with Kevin Costner. Whew...that would have irritated me all day.

So let’s recap here for a moment and say we’re the big dog

on the block. We went to obedience class and learned to interact

well with the other dogs. But there are a few in the bunch that just

keep pissing us off. A little nip here and a little nip there. There

is one in particular that has rallied friends and they bit the shit

out of us. Because the big dog had not gained complete control

over anger, he bit back. Not knowing exactly where to bite, but

knew it would set a precedence that this big dog will bite back

if provoked enough. As we lick our wounds this same smaller

dog just will not quit. He justifies his motivations with his other

dog friends. You’ve seen them, the oil painting with dogs playing

cards. Classic, I have it right next to my velvet Elvis picture and

below my Ankh of Tau picture. I do have good taste. LOL But

these dogs aren’t playing for their pack, they play for themselves

7

and use God as their playing cards. With as much controversy as

Religion has had for the centuries, wouldn’t that be where you

would find the corrupt working the system to their advantage?

The Living Word can be easily maneuvered to fit ones objective.

Thus, Christ like or Anti-Christ like.

Speaking of working the system to their advantage. Don’t we

have that going on right here in our country? Honestly ask yourselves

this question. Do I spend more time on how to beat the system

out of money or contribute to it? You ignorant human being,

it really is not your fault. You are ignorant, helpless, lazy, bitter,

self righteous and pretty much a blight on the face of the earth.

The system was built by loving human beings to have charity

and reach out to help their neighbor. You have turned it into your

opportunity to retire. Are you the money changers of today? You

take my money and the money of your working brother and kick

back and waller in the meager contentment that your brother has

provided. If I were a politician that didn’t care about you. I would

keep you in your sty and promise you more slop. My agenda and

fame would continue your imprisonment while I profited from

your ignorance.

Did you get your bowl of free slop? It’s right over there. No

my brother, I will plant a garden and harvest for a bountiful feast.

My slop will be there tomorrow for you to enjoy as long as I have

your vote. If you earnestly need my charity, then please, come in

and break bread with me. You are who the charity was meant to

fulfill. Do not feel shame by accepting my charity. I have more

shame giving it. The shame that I can not do more for those that

truly are in need. And the shame that our greedy brothers can

not see past themselves. But the world needs shit shovelers too.

Speaking of shoveling shit.

Hey if anyone wants to blame me for the oil spill they can. We

are going to be shoveling shit here for a long time. I should have

never made that crack about Global Warming sending sharks to

8

ruin my summer. Reminds me of Dan Akroyd thinking of the

Marsh Mellow Man in Ghost Busters. I guess if that is my first

prophecy to come through, it would be a quickie. And I don’t like

quickies, I prefer longies. LOL So let’s stop placing blame and

get this shit cleaned up. BTW...a longie is a Legacy.

Oh so you are prophesying now are you? I’ll do anything I

can to sell you on God’s Gift. He hired a salesman, so ? ? ? me.

Nah, not going there. Let it be a game of hang man for yourselves.

I can’t wait to get in front of my Judge.

DID YOU DO ALL IN YOUR

POWER

TO DELIVER

MY GIFT

After I finish this second book, do the ten radio interviews

and pray that someone helps me finish your website, I’m going

to have to say yes. “That’s my final answer”. I must have peace

of mind Lord.

Okay, so freaking talk to me. Did I win? LOL Or did I just

make a complete ass out of myself again? It’s cool, I have a lot of

training in that area. But Lord, I’d rather make a complete ass out

of myself proclaiming your Holy Name with my favorite lamp

shade on, rather than have to go through life without you in my

heart and knowing that I didn’t do all in my power to fulfill my

purpose for You. The “at all costs” clause was a little tough. But

was one Hell of a great excuse to drink.

I don’t have to know that you are right there anymore. I’m

up your butt, I’m like velcro. At least that is what I have been

told by my friends when it comes to women. LOL Don’t come

to any sudden halts on me, my head will be so far up your ass.

Hey, c’mon. Come back please. A little humor and some burnt

offerings pleases our God. At least that is what I believe. What

9

do you believe? NO!!! After an intensive inventory of your life. I

mean an honest to goodness come to Jesus meeting. What do you

believe? Are you following the beliefs of someone that you are

emulating? Or are you following what you have researched and

willing to make a decision as to what you believe and live with

the consequences?

Sign my ass up for the I believe my Savior Jesus Christ died

for my sins and was risen from the grave. Ho Hum, now give me

my pass. Really, no Really??? Did you really think that that was

all there was to it? Well I’m generally a nice person. That’s nice,

I’m glad to hear that. We need more nice people like you in this

world. I must pay you a compliment, if the world were filled with

people like you we would be living in a world that looks a whole

lot like what we got. Oh, thank you. You’re so kind. Besides baby,

with that dress, it’s all about you now isn’t it? Ooooooh....Nathan

I still got my Mo Jo Baby, I can insult your intelligence, get

your vote and still shag you. Yeah Baby. Oh don’t take offense

Baby, Dr. Evil has deliberately omitted things from the development

of your mind and you were so easy Baby, because you

didn’t come looking for “IT”. And when you did, your brothers

capitalized on your naivety. MuuuHua How does Dr. Evil make

that laugh in script?

Damn, this is funny stuff. I think I’m funnier sober than I was

drunk. But I’ll reserve judgment for you. You all are so damn

good at it. Alcohol has served its last purpose in my life. God

Willing.

Okay, so maybe I’m a little over the top. I haven’t heard anything

from the Father for a few moments. I better do a sound

check. Marco!!!

POLO!!!

10

That’s the great thing about God. He never leaves you. He just

gives you enough rope to get away. Get away from what, is your

decision and there will always be enough rope for you... Sorry,

I can’t go there. I have heard your stories. I have wept with you.

I can give you my thanks and hand in friendship. My thanks for

allowing me to understand where you are at and what you have

been through, before I found myself in a similar circumstance.

I guess you could say I watched how you putted your ball, saw

the curves and could avoid them if I’m very careful. My hand in

friendship is a hand up, not a hand out. With enough practice, we

can both birdie this hole. My friend, my brother.

I think I need to take smoking out of my life as well. YA

THINK!!! You Moron. I can feel it hurting me. Not drinking has

even pushed me to it more. Why are these stupid things so difficult

to remove from our lives? I hear that they’re putting carpet

glue into them so you don’t get drunk and burn your house down.

Yuck, now I’m inhaling carpet glue. How can I be so smart and

so stupid at the same time? I’m quitting right after I finish this

pack. Right, heard that one before. At least your not going to kill

anyone but yourself with that one. So let me buy you a pack.

And remember me on election day. More freebies coming your

way. Hey, I know what you’re doing. You think because I smoke

cigarettes that I am not that smart and you can get over on me. If

you deliberately destroy the body, I would say that would definitively

characterize you. It may not exemplify you, but the odds

are increased that you would have a lower level of intellect due

to harmful decisions that you make for yourself. All right, just

wanted to clear that up. I thought you were insulting me. You

weren’t were you? It is a pretty stupid habit. Pray for me and I’ll

pray for you.

Lord, please allow me to control the Demons that control me

and rob me of my life. More importantly, give me the strength and

wisdom to help someone else through their pain so that I may discover

how easy mine is to get through. What am I bitching about?

11

I will end this day telling you about the twelve step meeting

I just went to. An out of town visitor shared an analogy about

Santa. I was dying to tell everyone that I had just been writing

about that. But I refrained and thanked her, but I couldn’t resist

telling everyone my misfit toy analogy. I am just such a “all about

me kind of guy”. I have got to fix that. I just want to tell everyone

that has been sober for years, hey, good news. I’ve allowed the

Lord into my heart and I’m never going to forget Him again. I

know what I would get for a response. Yeah, good for you. Keep

coming back. LOL They are right, I can stumble at any time and

I have already heard the tale and can tell it so well myself.

6/28/2010

Productive day editing book. Had some issues that I had to

deal with today that would have ordinarily been all the excuse I

needed to get a bottle and pass out. I’m not feeling as comfortable

as I was. But I do know I haven’t had a drink for seven days. If I

had not heard their compassionate stories about that first drink, I

would have had one tonight. Thank you Lord for giving me another

day without Alcohol. I want to use my Demon as a beacon

for You. I bring you the Head of Alcohol on a silver platter. He

just has always kept growing new heads. I won’t start making

promises to you Lord, but I will start making real promises to

myself. When I can commit a promise to You. I want to make

damn sure I can keep “IT”.

6/29/2010

I’m wondering what I will do with all of my time when I finish

this book. It has helped to have this project to focus on and

redirect my energy. I am in a manic state of mind now and have

been for the last couple of days. Every time I pick up my purpose

for God, I just get way out there. I like to put on a little Enigma

12

and pray as I write. Hey, I guess this is like a personal facebook

diary. This book is full of “What’s on your mind?” You talking to

me, cause if your talking to me, I’ll tell you what’s on my mind.

Hey I discovered that a characteristic of the disease alcoholism

is to have a “Save the World” mindset. This concerns me

greatly. If they have admitted their crazy ideas came from the

bottle, why can’t I? You know I kind of think that it is Gods Plan

like everything else is, once you take the time to put two and

two together. Us crazy bastards are the ones that create shit for

everyone to enjoy. But just like the semen strive and struggle to

fertilize the egg, it only takes one for conception. So maybe I am

a member of the lucky sperm club after all.

Do you mean to tell me that my concept that will re-instate

birthrights, create a propagating, everlasting, taxable income

stream is all just alcohol talking to me? Are you telling me that

if I donate to a charity and they only get half of the profits and

the other half is to be re-invested that I won’t be donating for an

eternity? Don’t tell me that all of my future heirs will not get a

check from me with my inspirational words on it. Couldn’t we

use this newly created, from thin air, taxable income stream to

rebuild social security? If lots and lots of money were invested

into the market place, wouldn’t that create jobs? I just thought

maybe I was the one that had been given a Gift and now I see that

it is just this disease that I have. Damn, it has embarrassed me

my whole life. It would have been nice to witness God having an

Everlasting, Earthly Entity where He would fund His Health Care

Centers and heal the sick. Just kind of sounds like Jesus, doesn’t

it? Well, at least I know now that I have a disease that inspired

me to witness for our Father and to put down all of this craziness

and go back to work with all of the other elves. I thought about

being a dentist, but yuck, your breath. So I ended up with the red

nose and I’m ready to guide His sleigh for one night. We’ll have

to see about tomorrow, tomorrow. I’m taking it one day at a time

and praising Him every minute of the day.

13

I am seeing co-dependence in me more and more. I have always

had this insecurity. Maybe that is why I always want to be

at the center of attention. I have been using a big lure to catch the

fish that I want and I think I’m fooling the real fish telling them

I’m going for big fish. Truth be told, I don’t know what I’d do

if I had a Marlin on the line. LOL Cut and Release maybe? No,

not my clingy ass. We’re going to mount that Baby and I can tell

all my friends how I caught her. Whoo Hoo, look at my trophy

wife that I will worship and she will make my life a living Hell

trying to please her for another shot of booty. I can see how this

can repel anyone, but when you are in excitement, you just want

to be excited. I just have to learn how to be excited being with

someone without being up their ass. But if you’re not up their ass,

they think your avoiding them. Hey, like I said before, I failed in

the relationship category. Good luck, I think they all have snakes

in their head and I’m a learned snake charmer and get bit repeatedly.

LOL

Well, that didn’t take long. I got a Marlin on the line. Let’s

see how long it takes for me to screw it up. I think I’ll try a new

strategy since I’m sober. I think I will just be me. She seemed to

like my wit. Wait til she meets Mr. Crazy. I’m not a bad catch myself.

Now that I am beginning to understand who I am and who I

do not want to be. I’m worthy of a Marlin, I take care of myself

physically for the most part. Except when I destroy my body with

my Demons. I’m fairly attractive, financially sound and have a

spiritual belief that guides me. Yeah, without my Demons, I’m

even more attractive. To a point of controlled vanity. You have

to watch those boundaries of ego and depression with negative

self-talk.

Speaking of Mr. Crazy, the other night I was talking to a new

Leper friend. He says he became the best witness for Sobriety

while he was hammered. It reminded me of my whole God thing.

“Repent and thou shalt be Saved” and Hic Cup doesn’t quite go

together does it? I pray that my Father will use my wasted life for

14

the benefit of others that are struggling and prevent others that

may. It really is not of your control if you are one of “those” type

people. I like to refer to us not as Lepers, although it’s perfect,

but undiscovered creative minds. If you have this mind like I do,

you will medicate it to fruition. It is a disease that you were born

with. Your mind must always be turning. You must be focused

on something, otherwise your mind pleads to rest. You have to

discover what releases your mind for yourselves. Some do yoga,

biking, gardening etc...I have found that I like to write and express

my thoughts. I’ve never written a goal down in my life and

I’m not starting now. I want to live day by day and enjoy the days

I have left. It sounds like a pipe dream for me because of all the

hell I’ve been through. But now, life is good and I will only create

my own hell for myself by allowing my Demons to destroy me.

I have changed some things in my life. I strive to change

some things in my life. I fail at changing things in my life. I

guess that is why so many marriages fail and grow apart. As we

grow, we don’t always grow at the same rate spiritually. Just like

in the maze that we are in, some will cautiously sniff out new

cheese and others will scurry into bad decisions. Some will be

reluctant, but will begin to seek and others will never know what

the purpose for their lives ever meant. Okay, I can finally answer

the quandary put on my heart after reading “Who Moved My

Cheese”. Just got it, no shit. I’m Scurry and Him. I have scurried

around my whole life like a chicken with it’s head cut off, I don’t

think I was wobbling because my head was cut off literally, but

cut off from reality. I am Him because I began to seek Him. And

He guided my heart to places that I have never been. He showed

me where I had been and where I do not want to go. No stairway

to Heaven, it’s my purpose to build it with the Bricks of Mankind.

Not only for us to go up, but for Him to come down and Heal us.

Man, this is some pretty good stuff wouldn’t you agree? I

think I’ll put it in a book and give God 90% of the proceeds so

His Earthly Entity can start healing the sick.

15

Oh, you’re a salesman. I must admit my heart was filled for

a moment then came you. The Salesman. The lowly, drunk, used

car salesman.

Look Lady, I don’t give a rats …

Stop, pause, think and decide.

Thanks Kazoo, I was fixing to rip her a new one.

Oh forgive me, I didn’t mean to say that out loud and it wasn’t

in reference to you. The term “Salesman” just brought back memories

of my late husband. He drank himself to death thinking that

he had a solution to all the Worlds problems. Now what is it that

you are selling young man.

Uhhhhh.....Right. I am fulfilling my purpose for God and I am

seeking someone that has the technological talent that can build

our Master the tool needed, so that we may pass along birthrights

that will ultimately be our Worlds Salvation.

Uhhhhh....Do you have a card? You sound just like my late

husband. His name was Nathan and he used to say he was given

a gift from God. What a loon.

Yes mamn, I can certainly understand where you are coming

from. We don’t want any one running around here trying to deliver

a gift from God. He’s in a better place now, I can assure you.

What were you saying about technology?

Yes mamn, I am trying to find someone that can build a computer

website. They need to be pure at heart and passionate about

what they believe in.

16

Oh well is that all, hand me my purse. My sisters, cousins,

nephew is a complete geek. He’s always playing those video

games when he should be out exercising them lungs. Here’s his

number, call him.

I sure will and thanks. He sounds just like the man for the job.

He has to be someone special to create something that will live in

infamy. Something so special that it blossoms into World Peace.

That’s him alright.

I’ll give him a call. Yeah, right. Get me the hell out of here.

Look Dum Dum, what does it hurt to call him?

Kazoo, I just don’t want to call him. He’s a geek for crying

out loud.

Yeah, that’s telling him. Hit the road Kazoo.

It’s your decision Dum Dum.

You know, maybe Kazoo is right and I should call. I shouldn’t

judge someone by using someone else as the barometer. I’m going

to call him right now. Hang on.

Hello

Hello Poindexter

Yes, hang on. Let me turn my video game down.

Hey, I’m on hold, but I just busted a gut. Thought I’d share. LMAO

Hello this is Poindexter, can I help you?

17

Hi Poindexter, I was referred to you by your...uh..Aunt’s...

uh.. a relative of yours. She says you may be able to help me.

How can I help?

I am trying to design a website that will enable everyone to

create their own Living Will, Will and Living Trust free of charge

and right from their own home PC. There’s a lot more to the story,

but for now, let me say that I am looking for a spiritual man than

has the talents and passion to build this site.

I am that man. I too have been searching to fulfill my purpose

for our Father and I am honored that you would ask me. I will

build a glorious website. One like no other. I have the skills and

I have the technology. The Vessel deserves great care and planning,

one that is not scurried into. One that is everlasting. One

with Passion.

Son of a bitch, who’d have thunk it Poindexter. You’re a Lion

in sheep’s clothing too huh? I would have never found you had I

not tried to seek you.

Do you think I could drive to K-Mart and pick up some underwear?

I’m a very good driver.

Sure Poindexter, whatever you need brother. I got you covered

and so will the Hanes.

Hey, I sure hope we can get some endorsements here. It’s for

a good cause after all. And as a reminder to everyone that thinks

I’m in it for the money. I only get 10% from the concession stand

for eternity. Everything else goes to Gods Legacy Trust LLC to

heal the sick for an Eternity. I like the sound of that. Say it again

Mufasa. “ETERNITY”.

18

You know, I bet if we took a poll of people asking them if they

have ever heard of the Seven Sealed, Two-Sided Scroll, the largest

riddle of Mankind, the riddle that would be our Salvation; I

would guess that only .666% would have ever heard of it. I know

that I hadn’t.

Your purpose in Life is to help someone else find theirs. You

purpose is to help Mankind and so is mine. Mine may be a little

Grandiose for you to comprehend, but I have the Courage to

change the things that I can. The Wisdom to know when I need

help from my brother and the Serenity that comes with fulfillment

for our Father.

And hey, if you’re going to go down, you might as well go

down in a blaze of Glory for our Creator. So step back non-believers,

I’m shooting the whole load. LOL

You still got it Baby, even sober and it’s so much more fun

this way. You still got your Mo Jo Baby.

Do you know what it is like to not be able to use your legs,

Gump?

Ya..Yuh...You’re still Lt. Dan, Lt. Dan. - Forrest Gump

I AM

HIM

I find Him, when I seek Him

I become Him, when I am Him

I WILL pray for HIM, to know Him.

Him is Thy Brother

Thy Brother is

HIM

19

Hey, I got invited to go to a half way house for a meeting

tomorrow. I’m excited to see where I could have ended up had it

not been for wonderful parents. I want to learn what it is like to

not have alcohol in my life. I need an negative incentive to help

me strive to be more.

Tonight’s meeting was about gaining trust after you become

sober. It was pretty heartbreaking to hear the stories about the

separation from the family and it was rejoicing to hear about being

given the trust to care for a child. It was probably a good thing

I was traveling all those years as my children were growing up. I

couldn’t take care of myself after hours.

As I pace the floor with jealousy that is not warranted, I think

about a good tumbler full of Vodka on the rocks. That’s my chosen

poison. Then I wonder what drunken text and email I’ll fire

off and have to ask for forgiveness tomorrow. I want to be in a

relationship, but I fear I may run off a good one if I find her in my

present state of mind. I think I may be being succumbed to loneliness.

It is not my desire, but I think it is part of my recovery and

I don’t think I have the power just yet to deal with my co-dependence

issues. I have enough on my plate already. I want to tackle

my Demons one at the time. I think if I can take the Shepard out,

the flock will disburse. So, Mr. Vodka I rebuke you in the name

of the Holy Spirit. He has spoken to my heart and will hold my

hand during this battle, you and me. I have my Savior on my side

and you have my disease on yours.

Lord, I submit to your Will for my Life. If I have not done

your Will, please have mercy on this sinner that he take a stand

and witness for You and what was promised. I have chosen to piss

my life away and I don’t believe in waste. So Lord, let my life

not be a waste. Let your children digest your Living Word and

save them from the Demons that they will find. I especially pray

for our future prophets to not poison your minds with the poisons

they give you for your gift. Explore your talent and express it

20

sanely. Believe me, the crazy shit don’t work. So stop, pause,

think and then decide. I know what’s going on in your mind.

Somehow saving the World will somehow make us feel better

about ourselves, so we can stop beating ourselves up over the

drunken fiasco last night.

The problem that he is having is, He really believes that he

was given a Gift from the “Wonderful Counselor” aka Holy Spirit.

And he can not be heard. He knows not to stop. He knows how

to be sane. He knows that he will be met with...well, everything.

He knows that he has been told to disappear and remain anonymous.

He knows his hands have been tied to mercenaries building

a website without the passion one needs for a project of this

magnitude. He knows he is tired, so I’ll thank my God now for

another day of Sobriety and say good night.

Good Night Jesus my brother, Mr. Miagi, Kazoo, Hank, etc...

and you my Demon. I say good night to you and thank you. If

it weren’t for you, I’d have never stumbled over my purpose for

God.

One more thing before You let me go. I hope it is your guidance

to free me from the obligation to build these websites and

not laziness on my part. I already have $3000 invested Lord and

our mercenary has not performed. I ask of You to place “IT” in

the hands of your children and take me out of the loop. If I have

to do “IT”, “IT” might drive me to drinking again. LOL That is

one talent that I am thankful to have a brother to count on.

“IT”

IS IN

GOOD HANDS

“IT”

IS IN

GODS HANDS

NOW

21

Thank you my brother, I so want to emulate You and please

the Father. I gotta tell you. I feel a sign of relief coming over

me knowing that I am almost done. I will get to see His Mighty

reach in my lifetime. I can feel it. “Imagine Turning To God For

Change”. Doesn’t that slogan just talk to you? It would if you had

a trained heart to listen. Start listening to your heart for a change

and see where that gets you. I’ll speak for myself when I tell you

that my mind was not doing a very good job. I’ve benched him

and seeking what is really important to me and those I can touch.

Our Lord cries out to touch your heart and he has used me to be

his Vessel to reach you. Are you in my story? Which one of my

alter egos are you? Or are you my Judge? What story made you

cry? What joke made you laugh? What offended you and why?

What hit closest to home for you? What do you believe? What is

your dream? Don’t tell me, tell Him. I don’t have time to listen

to you. I’m way to busy. I’m way to busy missing my life. You

and I will be heard, if it is only heard by our Lord. So you might

as well line up for His freebies. He’s passing them out to anyone

that wants to help his brother strive for more. Honestly, I don’t

think it’s a freebie at all. I think you got to want it like you have

never wanted before. How much does it cost to be a friend? How

much does empathy costs? The opportunity costs are measured

by your decisions of your own free will. My demon costs me 30

yrs of my life. I think I have had enough of that therapy, thank

you very much.

6/30/2010

Good Morning God. Please grant me another day of sobriety.

Just got off the phone with my good friend Darren. He loved

the preface and is going to see if he can help me with publicity.

You never know what someone will get tinkled over as they read

what I have written. He loved the line about no pilot or cocktail

waitress, what a bitch. LOL I love to make people laugh. I gain

a fulfillment in my heart by adding something to your day. Your

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purpose doesn’t have to be as grandiose as mine. Your purpose

could be to brighten others day with a smile. It’s truly amazing

what a smile and a few kind words can do. You just never know

when it will trigger someone to make a change in their life. Your

smile is touching people in ways that you can not comprehend,

because we all get touched in different ways. So Smile You’re on

God’s Camera.

You know I’m kind of embarrassed to say this, but you know

I have no shame before our Father. I started to think how funny

this is. In our present day time of technology, you should be able

to be heard. What I discovered at the twelve step meetings is that

everyone wants to be heard. It makes it difficult for true prophets

to deliver their message from God. So before you continue to

blog up the airways with non-sense because you’re hammered,

and hey I’m guilty too, ask yourself, is what I am saying and doing

for His Glory or for my own.

“If you ‘aint got no money, take your broke ass home.” Tell

the Lord your love for Him in private unless at a setting where it

is appropriate. Many conversations have been monopolized because

the speaker likes to hear themselves speak. I am a great

bloviator and always attempting to be the star of the show. It’s all

about me. Wow, that’s going to be a tough one to take out of my

life. I’m thinking hibernation until after I launch the books. I can

always get a booty call when I need it. Yeah, if that Marlin I had

on the line doesn’t sniff back at the bait, I’ll take a break.

It’s been a great Spring, what I remember of it. I did go to

Vegas and yes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. In my case

it will stay because I don’t remember much of it. I do remember

getting kicked out of a club. LOL Cause that is when I went and

made money at Black Jack, drunker than Cooter Brown. Hell I

was giving the fist with everyone at the table. Half of them didn’t

speak English, so I had to screw with them. I mean, cmon. That’s

a given people. Don’t we mock what we don’t understand. If I

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went to their country, would I want to be screwed with? Absofreakin-

lutely Baby, I can recognize when I’m being screwed

with and will join in on the fun and if you didn’t screw with me,

I’d become a wall flower with shyness. Give me your best shot is

all I have to say. I may not speak their verbal tongues, but I speak

their heart tongue. And it’s not some yibbity yabbity bullshit no

one understands but yourself. Because if you are honest with

yourself, you would recognize that it is a performance. But who

the Hell am I to Judge you, I’m a Leper. Please continue, I enjoy a

good performance and so does the Father. If that is on your heart,

give it to Him freely. Maybe it’s something only you and He can

understand. Damn, I’m learning Father. I’m learning not to be so

quick to judge.

The sexual tension is incredible in this manic state. My mind

tells me I don’t need a relationship right now. My Mini Me Mind

tells me something different. Believe me when I tell you this,

for some men, it can drive them insane. It is a enormously huge

demon that I am blessed to have control over. I would love to

listen to someone else’s story of how they conquered it. I just flirt

with that Demon and I have a Doctors script to take him out and

exercise him at least daily or as needed for pain. The other pain

that I have in my life somehow is released when sexual tension is

released for me anyway. But I’m sure that no one else thinks this

way. Right......MuuuaHuuuuaaa Dr. Evil loves your little dirty

secrets. Oh, he can sure use shame to hold you hostage. Shame

has taken many a life. I have so much shame for what I have made

out of my life. I want a redeemed life by fulfilling my purpose. At

least it won’t all be for NOT.

I’m guilty. I’m guilty of condemning you of your sin, while

I secretly fantasize about it. It is my restraint that allows me not

to chase those Demons. And knowing me, I’d be addicted after

the first time. I know what displeases the Father and I do all in

my power to be a witness for Him. It’s just damn, that girls got a

fine ass. Those are my horns growing and I have many of them.

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Do you remember the cartoon, when the character would push

one lump on his head down and another would arise in a different

place? Keep pushing them down and “keep coming back”. I’m

excited about today’s meeting. It gives me a reason to shower and

get out of the house.

Lord, thank you for blessing me financially to afford me the

time to spend with you. This has become a full time gig working

for you. But it is a piece of work that in your hands will blossom

to a better world. A World where You dwell among us with your

Everlasting, Healing, Loving, Earthly, Entity. And that is when

my forefathers and myself can rest knowing the World is truly in

God’s Hands. He has a place in everyone’s heart and can fix the

broken ones here on earth as it is in Heaven. If you have ever been

given your life back, stand up and tell me your tale. If you have

not, shut the hell up, you can not articulate what you have not

experienced for yourself. I try to articulate the horrors that others

have been exposed to. An articulation will fall extremely short of

the experience. If you don’t think alcohol is a powerful Demon,

brother, tell me your Demon and we’ll get drunk and one up each

other all night. “You think you got it bad, let me tell you about

ME” cause I really didn’t hear shit you said and could really give

a shit. I just want to be heard. I want you to listen. No don’t go,

get him another round on me. So what are your problems? Well,

I …; that’s great, now let me tell you about my problems. LOL

What a drunken buffoon I have been.

So Doc, what do you think?

Tell me why you think alcoholism destroyed your life?

Well Doc, as a young man out of college I had a vision of a

Yaught and a Trophy wife and I lost that vision. So I settled with a

Bass Boat and a Road Whore and I lost that vision. Now I have a

vision of a Hard On and an inner tube and there both going down.

LOL Laugh you schmucks.

25

Hey I just thought of this, imagine that. LOL Us Lepers are

the easiest bunch to get riled up because we have all been searching

for our purpose. I knew there was a reason for me to join with

my Leper brothers and sisters. You can’t wait to heard either and

nor can I. As a conglomerate group of reformed assholes, we have

a pretty good voice. But we also know that that is not in the rules

for the twelve step program. So sorry for getting you riled up.

But I do need your prayers and support and if you could just help

me with this website. Thank you, you’re so kind. My that’s a nice

shade of blue your wearing, it matches your eyes. Look pal, do

you want some booty or not? Is this the sexual revolution that I

am hearing about? I am sooooooo.......down. But give me some

time to pray about it, I may decide differently later. Especially if

I give birth to a consequence or have to disclose an “oh shit” for

the rest of my life to any future partners.

I have got to get out of this house. I’m going to take a shower

and go to the gym. I’ll start my work out by lifting that heavy ass

phone and call my sponsor to let him know that I’ll be at the meeting

tonight. Man, I hate that shit. I haven’t reported in for years,

except to my folks and children. But I’m nine days sober, so I’m

going to keep doing it.

I’m sitting here writing and having a great time in my manic

state and it has started to rain a bit. I can use my creative avoidance

and say to conserve time and because of the light rain, I’ll

go to the gym right before the meeting and kill two birds with

one stone. Dude, why are you trying to conserve time? It is still

just me planning, me planning to get drunk. I can leave the house

anytime I want now. But I really don’t want to go far unless I am

pushed. I am feeling this program giving me the push that I need

to re-emerge into society. I just don’t know if I can fit in anymore.

I am crazy after all.

What’s with this Tweety Bird. I don’t need to know when

you are taking a crap or when you get a piece of ass. It’s not my

26

business and no one should care. That would be the old me. Alas,

the new me has learned to listen with my heart. (can you tell it’s

dripping with sarcasm) My heart tells me that you are battling

insecurity issues and vanity is screaming to be noticed. I will pray

for you. Those Demons will eat your ass up.

I can’t emphasis this one enough. If I have a vote, a black

ball if you will. That will determine the fate of predators. I vote

black. Your brother Jesus and our Father may forgive you, but I

can not and will not forgive you. It causes a life time of pain for

your prey. It WILL cause you pain eternally. Restraint guys, it is

the measure of a man. Not the measurement of his member that

matches his I.Q. If there is anyone in the room that has not heard

me on how powerful the Demon between our legs is, listen up.

There are ways to control this Demon and if man would stop suppressing

men long enough, we could get a tax, keep it clean and

safe and call it for what it is. Prostitution, a very needed industry

that has been filled for centuries and the corrupt have corrupted

it by suppressing it.

Oh shit, brain fart. If I am one of the witnesses, the other witness

is you. My brother. I’m listening to my heart Father. Now my

brother, be a Man and take your place in the household as a Real

Godly Man. So that you can show our Father you are seeking

your purpose by helping those that seek for their own.

Hey I was just thinking about masturbating. You know that

movie out now with the vampires that are in control of themselves

and feast on the blood of animals. They say the comparison

for us is like eating tofu everyday. I would say that’s a pretty good

analogy of masturbation. It satisfies, but there is nothing like the

warmth that comes from another human being, especially one

that you love and would go to the ends of the earth for. I haven’t

seen how all of this ends just yet and I hope it takes a while longer

now that I’m sober. But I think that perfect scenario is a fantasy.

If you have it in your marriage, God blessed you. For the rest of

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us, we’re still wearing our masks and making poor decisions.

BTW...I masturbated hours ago, we’ll go again later if prescribed

by the Doc.

You know, you always have to thank God first so you can

thank Him for sending “Them” to you in your time of need.

Thank God for my parents. I love “Them”.

If their were these Vampires that lived among us and had

learned restraint, would you love them even knowing at any time

their thirst for human blood could become an insane manic moment?

Could you see yourselves setting up a blood bank so that

they may quench their thirst from time to time to keep themselves

in check about restraint? What would you think of the donors of

such a bank? That’s an interesting quandary? Pause here for a

moment and think before you decide.

If their were these Insane Males that lived among us and had

learned restraint, would you love them even knowing at any time

their thirst for the warmth of another human being could become

Vampirish at any moment? Could you see yourselves setting up a

flesh bank so that they may quench their thirst from time to time

to keep themselves in check about restraint? What would you

think of the donors for such a bank? Is there more empathy in our

hearts for Vampires than there is empathy in our hearts for Mankind?

This is a Demon that is uncontrollable for many Vampires.

How can we make these Vampires a non-threat to the well being

of our society, get a tax, clean up the corruption and make it safe

for human beings to do what they are going to do anyway of their

own free will? I say that if you can not find in yourselves to aspire

for more, then I want you safe and I want you to give your Mom

and Dad a call and let them know that you are alright. They worry

about you. If not them, your Father and Brother in Christ worry

about you, we love you. Give Christ a call.

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If one has empathy for Vampires, maybe one should re-evaluate

fundamentalist Christian values and determine if there is

another alternative that would still be pleasing to our Father. As

a dad, I vote for the safety and the call. These are the values of

the Leper Party made up with just one member with multiple

personalities and we will throw ourselves at our Fathers feet for

mercy. For we were all made broken, begged to be forgiven and

the fortunate Demon slayers will rejoice in our Fathers Love. The

corrupt will no longer have anything to corrupt and those predators

will move to new suppressed ground to prey upon the laws

of the land.

I wonder what society would dictate as the appropriate appearance

and conduct in handling the Vampire environment that

dispenses Human Blood. Red Lights, filth, beatings and disease

or Bright Lights, sanitary, safe and optional group meetings on

restraining your Demons.

The chair of our meeting tonight has expressed some expertise

in the area of Bi-Polar and Schizophrenia. I was diagnosed

Bi-Polar and I think after reading this, I qualify for the Schizophrenia

part as well. I wonder if I could get some great drugs?

I’m an alcoholic. That is my personal diagnosis and I don’t need

any damn pills to pull me through this Demon that I am battling. I

just have to take alcohol out of my life. I’ll conquer the other Demons

later. This one is going to kill me. I asked this expert in my

opinion because he has experienced trying to save the world syndrome

as well, to give me his prognosis on my behavior based on

this preface and chapter I am writing now. I am very concerned

that I exemplify the characteristics, but I am convinced that I am

right. And unless someone can definitively rebuke Gods Last Will

and Testament, them I must endeavor to persevere.

“Why couldn’t people just understand that I just felt like running”

- Forrest Gump

29

I just felt like drinking, why couldn’t people just understand

that I wanted to numb my pain and fast forward my life? Hell, I

understood it. I wanted to either Kill myself or control my Demon.

So being the coward that I am, I stepped back and let Christ fight

my battle. I am with Christ, so what Demon can stand against

me? My naked soul is displayed for your public scrutiny. Step up

like your brothers before you and choose your weapon to lash me

with. When you choose your weapon of choice to lash me, make

sure it is the same weapon that you lash yourself with.

This has duel meanings to me. When Forrest lost his girl after

just making love to her the night before. The girl that was the

keeper of his heart. He had to cleanse. He had to run her out of

his system so that he could reach a point of acceptance and contentment.

He was also running to find out what type of chocolate

he would get. His destiny and purpose in life. His heart has been

scarred and he can not do anything about that. So he gains serenity

by accepting something he has no control over. He has the

courage to pick his life up and make something of himself. And

he has the wisdom to seek God for guidance. My peers wisdom

says “STOP FORREST”. My Lords wisdom says “ENDEAVOR

TO PERSEVERE”. Forrest’s wisdom says “I’ve already gone

this far, I might as well go all the way”. So if my peers vote stop

and my Lord, Forrest and the Wonderful Counselor say go. That’s

three to one, I like the odds. Hey, don’t worry about me being on

a slippery slope. I have a get out of hell free card. I had to earn it

though. I had to totally humiliate myself before all of God’s children

and confess my sins. Most are allowed to confess in private

as they search for their purpose. My purpose is for all mankind,

so all mankind must be allowed to see my naked soul and learn

from my mistakes and triumphs. I will be your Judas, so you can

gauge your own lives using the consequences of my decisions. I

pray you have control over your Judas as I battle mine. I lost it

all and have been redeemed. How much will you lose before you

have Christ challenge the Demons in your life? You do know that

you have Demons in your life, don’t you? If you don’t, I want

30

to read your book. Sinless words haven’t been spoken since uhhhh....

since Jesus.

Forrest was given his purpose by God. He was given a life

that he could pour all of his wisdom into and fulfill his own purpose

by giving back to another human being.

I am not tempting you Lord, but surely you wouldn’t allow

me to hang myself out here for You and You leave me hanging.

KEEP HANGING

YOU’RE ALMOST THERE

YOUR BROTHER WILL HELP

I PROMISE

I have always been my brothers keeper, am I now my brother

and in need of being kept?

BINGO

I can’t live with that. Thank you Father, I will need a booster

shot of God everyday. I will need a booster shot of Spiritual

Medication. Hear my Prayers and Speak to my heart Lord, I’m

listening now.

Thank you Lord for another sober day. Good Night.

7/1/2010

Good Morning God. Lord please grant me another sober day.

I started running just like Jenny had told me to do and when I

looked back, there was no one there.

- Forrest Gump

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Are you a Prophet of God? Do you witness for God? Do you

pray to God for your brother? Do you pray to God for yourselves?

(That’s a no brainer) Are you a prepared Prophet or do you just

want to tell the Lepers that Jesus loves them and get the Hell out

of there? What would you do if a Leper that you were witnessing

to said, I need your help? Can you help me? If you can not be

prepared for that scenario, then sit your monkey ass at home. You

are creating more harm than good. This may have been the last

time this Leper would reach for a hand up and yours wasn’t really

there for Him. Your hand is to busy stroking yourself to make

yourself feel better about you. I’m not saying to stop spooning

out the slop at Thanksgiving and Christmas, I’m just saying that

if you want to reach out and touch one of the undesirables, you

best be prepared. Are you?

He will be with you in just a moment, would you like a cigarette,

booze, drugs, sex or Rock and Roll while you wait. It’s free.

This may be your last time to party like a Rock Star. This book

has a plethora of excuses if you haven’t prepared one for yourself

already. Our God aims to please, He gives you so many chances.

Did you reach out for yours? Hey, that’s none of your damn business.

You’re right, it is not my business. But if you were a Leper,

I didn’t want to miss you and possibly discover my purpose along

the way. Good Luck, He shouldn’t be much longer. The one in

there now has been awhile, it must be one Hell of a pleading tale.

Had my first meeting with my twelve step sponsor. He is a

Pharmacist by trade, so you know he had some good shit during

his Demonic battle. As I try and tell my story to him, he is trying

to stick to the curriculum. He had told me before to refrain from

interjecting my comments, but just to listen and learn from others

that have succeeded in controlling their Demon. By the end of

our meeting I had a revelation. I can not try and rally my Leper

brothers and sisters. They are holding on by a thread themselves.

I remember a Leper friend telling me after he had been asked to

look after something, his response was; I have a hard enough time

32

keeping up with Woody. Woody don’t have time for you. I understand

my Leper brother, pray for me and let me learn from you. I

do not want to upset your apple cart and that is not my intention. I

am seeking another Lion, not another Lamb. A Lioness wouldn’t

be to bad either. Rrrrroooooaaaaarrrhh....

Okay, back to the twelve step program. My sponsor had already

given me one assignment and I finished that the first night.

He gave me a twelve step daily to do list to follow:

1. Pray in the morning for a sober day.

2. Have Daily Reflection

3. Do something nice for someone and don’t tell them.

4. Go to a twelve step meeting

5. Call your sponsor

6. Read at least two pages in the twelve step Big Book

7. Pray at night and give thanks for another sober day.

Homework:

1. Read Bill’s Story

2. Listen to Disease of Perception

Cool, that doesn’t sound to hard. If I can gain control over my

Demon, I would do just about anything. Well not anything, I will

always exercise my own judgment based on my frame of reference.

For I know the decisions I make will reap consequences

that I and I alone must live with.

Pants on the ground, pants on the ground. Looking like a fool

with your pants on the ground. I have had my pants on the ground

serving my Demon for years. I looked like a fool with my pants

on the ground. I am not ashamed to pull my pants down for Christ

and for all to see and hear my confession of Faith and Love for

our Savior.

33

I had just started my drive to Orange Bch, Al for the 7 o’clock

meeting and ran into traffic. It was great. I turned around because

I knew that I would never make it and I had so much happiness in

my heart that I would have not been able to remember all of the

thoughts that raced through my mind. It’s the fourth of July 2010

weekend, the weather sucks and we got oil on the beach. Our

summer is ruined, just as I had asked for it not to be. The GREAT

part about seeing all the traffic was seeing all the unity. Not only

to celebrate the Independence of our Great Nation, but to do what

we can to help our struggling brother on the beach. It’s amazing

what we can do as a people when we become of the people, by

the people and for the people. In God We Trust. It is Faith, Hope,

Charity and Love that will sustain this Great Empire.

The Faith that there is a God greater than ourselves.

The Hope for a better tomorrow.

The Eternal Charity of God’s Gift. “LEGACY”

The Love of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

How am I doing Father?

POLO!

Smart ass brother of mine. I love you Jesus. I still owe you

that wedgie for all you put me through. Thank you. Thank you

for saving my life. You’re all I have had to lean on for years now.

How can anyone understand what I am doing?

TWEETY?

Oh, hell no. I don’t want anyone up my ass like that. I’ll stick

my vanity and my balls in my lunch box before that happens.

34

ANONYMITY?

Perfect!!!

TOLD YOU SO

“LIKE” I know you did, but you don’t have to rub my nose

in it.

SURE?

Yes Father, all I do is for Your Glory not mine. I am your

humble servant to deliver Your Great Gift and I will get out of the

way to witness Your Mighty Hand. I haven’t forgotten.

WHAT?

THIS IS GOD

REMINDING NATHAN

TO SHUT UP

Yeah, I like that one. I have seen the greatest of salespeople

keep selling a product that is already sold, to the point that he

talked himself right out of a sale. I pray that I am the salesman

you thought I was. No wonder John wept if you allowed him to

see my drunk ass. I would have bet against me and I never do that.

I play to win baby. If your kitchen is to Hot, get out of your Hell.

If I can’t sell you on God’s Gift, could I interest you in some cool

God Slogan T-shirts? LOL LOL LOL God, with you as a partner,

we will make a fortune. 90% for you and 10% for me just from

the concession stand, right? That’s the deal. Let’s Shake on “IT”.

ETERNALLY

I do like the sound of that. Eternally. It is a message that we,

God’s children, are either still oblivious to God’s Last Will and

Testament or you’ve lost your Faith and really just don’t give a

35

shit about much of nothing anymore. You went out full and came

back bitter. Life has beat you down. There is no Hope. Brother,

I tell you that there is Hope. The Master’s Plan is our Salvation.

When the prostitute was to be stoned to death. Jesus said,

he among you without sin, cast the first stone. He then told the

prostitute, go and sin no more. Now knowing my brother Jesus

Christ like I do, I would have to say that He was inspiring her to

make more out of her life. I really don’t think He was condemning

her for doing what she has to do to eat and feed a family.

This person may exemplify the lowest of the food chain in your

eyes, but I say this person provides a noble service to keep the

insane Vampires that dwell among us in Restraint. Ask Melvin P.

Thorpe from “The Best Lil Whorehouse in Texas” how he wants

to view this issue and see if it coincides with your own. “Texas,

has a whorehouse in it”, thank God. Those Vampires prey upon

their own. Our Father in my humble opinion, will close that loop

hole excuse for being a predator. Incest, Rape, Bizarre shit will

no longer be forgivable. If it ever was.

It is difficult to continue on my purpose for God. I am a laughing

stock. Lord, they do not understand. Their blinders will not

allow them to see. Or is it me that has blinders on Lord? Am I

allowing my Demons to completely embarrass me once and for

all. Thank God. Let’s do it. Let’s exercise the Demon without

releasing him. Let’s learn how to control him. I need help and

you may also.

Tough night Lord. I see now that I can not have any influence

of a woman right now. It can easily tilt my balance and cause me

to drink. Now I will just have to contend with the loneliness while

I attempt to gain control of my life. A life without alcohol would

be a life without a bully that kicks your ass all over the playground

everyday and causes you great humiliation. Guess I may

just need to make more meetings if I get lonely. I can not falter

this time Lord. I want to prove it to You and myself. I will not be

36

beaten down. I will rise up and be the witness for You that You so

desire for me to be. All you bitches go home. The snakes in your

heads are getting in mine. Let me get my head straight and then

come back. Especially you, my brunette cutie. Such a fine ass.

Ummm Ummm Ummm. Such an insane ass OnYaMama. What

the Hell, a little political humor is good for the soul.

That wasn’t racist was it? I don’t want to start any shit over

racism. One has to wonder at what point does one rely on ones

own abilities and put ones crutch down and join the struggle of a

one Mankind under One God. Are you the “ONE” that models,

destroys or exemplifies what your race should be? It’s a struggle

for all of us brother and we are all in this together. Let’s get past

the bullshit of the color of someone’s skin. Show God who you

are on the inside. Your discriminating brother is a moron and his

generation will grow out and a new generation of God’s Children

will grow in.

I’ve been hearing some of the Lepers question the Big Book

when it comes to praying for yourselves. Thank you my brother.

That’s what I’m talking about. Always Respectfully Question

Authority. Even when it is a great authority. The twelve step program

has saved many lives and I pray that I will be one of them.

But I’m praying for me a lot. I need help. I will pray for and

nurture my brother, but sometimes I just want a little alone time

with the Father so He can nurture me. Like a child that curls up to

his mother on the couch, watches TV and falls asleep knowing he

is safe and loved. We never stop yearning for that closeness and

the fortunate find it in a mate, but is available to us all with the

Father’s undying Love for you. You will feel His presence if you

stop looking for it with your mind and feel Him on your heart.

Alright you got to stop hitting chili peppers up everyone’s ass.

Now listen to me. Drop your ball over your left shoulder. What?

Do it. Now put a golf tee behind your right ear. What does all of

this mean? It means shit, but if you need some Hocus Pocus for

37

you to Focus. I give you humility. Now kick some ass and let’s go

home. - Tin Cup and a little bit of me. LOL Loved the nickname,

“Clank”.

We are drawn to prey upon the misfortunes of others. I don’t

know exactly why that is other than greed. You can witness it at

someones death and the heirs fight amongst themselves to get

what they got coming to them. Even if it costs them their sibling.

I’ll give you an example how it works in sales. Have you ever had

one of those meat delivery trucks come rolling into your driveway

and the distraught driver/salesman explains that the cooling

element just went out on his truck and if you want a steal on some

steaks, now’s the time because all of this will go in the dumpster

tomorrow. Cha Ching, sucker born everyday. How about the asphalt

Gypsies. They run around looking for pot holes and tell the

owners of businesses that they just finished a job and this load

on the truck will harden if they don’t use it. They will make you

a great deal. Is this dishonest to prey upon your greed? You are

getting what you want at a perceived value. No this is selling and

what can cause salespeople to catch a bad wrap. A good salesman

will give you what you want, because he knows if he can fill

your need, his needs will be filled as well. All this shit says the

same thing don’t it? You will find your purpose by helping others

to find theirs. I’m selling my ass off to get you to buy into God’s

Gift. Create yourselves a personal trust and Legacy. No charge.

Watch the change in our World when God is the Shepard and has

the Gold and Silver to heal the sick. Gods Legacy Trust LLC. His

Everlasting Earthly Entity. His Kingdom, here on Earth as it is

in Heaven.

I asked for your help with my Demon alcohol because it was

killing me. I now humbly ask for your help with my Demon Cigarettes,

they are killing me.

Rough day today Lord. There is no way I could have made it

today had it not been for your guidance and those damn meetings.

38

I love them. They’re addictive. Good night my Lord and Savior.

Thanks for the sober day.

Hey, I’m still up. I sat down to watch a little TV to relax and

I flipped through the religious channels and found this preacher

making up stories and promising folks to have their prayer answered

if they would just send him $1000.00.

Why don’t you just give me a thousand dollars and we can

go out back where I will kick you in the nuts and we can call it a

day? - Vegas Vacation

The religious predators sicken me. Using God’s name for

their own self-gain. I’m not sure where the Father, Son and the

Holy Spirit stand on this one, but I got a black ball for your ass.

7/2/2010

Good Morning God. Please help me make it through this

weekend. It’s going to be a rough ride. I’m going to force myself

to get out alone. Not my thing, but what is my thing? Right....

Drinking. I haven’t discovered a new thing for myself. Guess I’ll

do a little fishing and see if I can catch a Marlin and by the end of

the night, decide if I want to take a croaker home. Not my thing

either, but I do have needs.

I can’t remember the last time I spent a 4th of July weekend

sober if I ever did. I know that I can not cower to my Demon, but I

must face him head on. If I continue to hibernate my Demon may

not be being consumed by me, but has defeated me by consuming

me. I will not settle for an island of misfit toys as my only outlet.

I will re-emerge a sober witness for Christ. A drunken witness destroys

our Father’s Plan. I know that this is something that I must

do for Him and me, but I will need help. I will need new direction

and focus. Thank God I am still working on this book. My mind

39

will not stop turning, it keeps me in total unrest. What does God

want me to do? Over and over and over again. If you don’t understand

this by now, it has been like Whoopi getting serenaded

by Patrick Swayze (RIP my beloved brother) “King Henry the

Eighth I Am”. Even with this in my head, God is speaking to my

heart and demanding I do this. Make a complete idiot out of myself.

Why is it when you proclaim your Love for your Lord and

Savior people look at you like you have lost your mind? I would

have to say that Loving our Creator has somehow been perverted

by all of the weirdos out there wearing panty hose on their heads,

beating tambourines and passing out flowers at the airport. Or

they see a Pastor so worried about getting into your pocket book,

they just manage to squeeze in some of God’s Word between

commercials. Or they have seen supposed men of God go down

in a blaze as they anoint themselves as Judge and Jury over your

lives and even delve into their own perversions using their position

of power serving themselves, not our Father. They’re just

name dropping to see what is in it for them. Bastards. You are the

ones that have made it very difficult for God’s children to come

to believe again. The last time they wanted to Come, so did you.

But you were thinking of a different kind of Cum. Sorry guys, but

a few bad apples does spoil the barrel in this case.

Brothers and Sisters in Christ. There are many men of God,

but remember that they are still men. All men have horns, it is

how we are made. Period, end of discussion. It is their restraint

that measures them with the yardstick of God. Never let your

guard down, but love one another. I know, what a crock of shit

we have made of this world that we would have to become this

shielded. Lord, I can brush off pretty much all of the sticks and

stones will break your bones shit, but those predators really hit

close to home and can change my World if I am not careful and

aware of my surroundings. Has man really become evil or has

it always been this way? This could really give you a complex

about people wanting to bend you over at every street corner and

you know what? They have that concern in other countries of the

40

World. We are just blessed to live in God’s new promised land.

The brothers we left behind to hold down God’s fort are still being

persecuted.

Time can be our blessing or enemy. Depending on what we

do with time. I think sometimes. Do you think? But most of the

time I can’t finish my thought before something triggers me to

go off on a tangent and lose the great thought that I was working

on because I’m off to another great thought before I could finish

my first or even my second thought. Crazy isn’t it. I think it is a

gift and I love it. I don’t want your man made drugs to control

this and lose control because your elixirs erase the line of reality

for me. Why do you think folks are killing folks. I can go to

the Doc right now and get a multitude of shit and sell it as party

favors to my friends. Hell, I don’t even have to go to the street

corner. Hey, that’s really not a bad idea. Hmmmmm.....economy

has been pretty tough, so I could have justification. Do you see

how our minds work my brother. You have the same thoughts,

you just may have more control of yours. People like me can

get themselves in trouble if are not very careful. We were born

with a much more powerful Demon. I tell you the truth, what it

is that we are trying to medicate is, we were supposed to be so

much more in this life and life beat us down. So we relinquished

command. This medication takes TIME and eventually will put

our dreams to rest or our bodies whichever one comes first. Your

Demons don’t give a shit. Dead or Alive even better for them to

witness for me. Their Lord Satan. I am so loved by the diseased.

Holy Shit Lord, are you fixing to bring me through some exorcist

shit or something. Cool, don’t scare me to much and I don’t

have any pea soup in the pantry. Lord, we’ve done this already

haven’t we? Right....I have been my own Demon for a long time

now haven’t I? Right....Maybe it was me that was the problem.

Ya think maybe a little? I have been witnessing for my Demon

alcohol. I have become one of those predators that want to tell

you how you should live your life and get hammered and live

41

mine the way the hell I want. At least I’m not asking for a Love

offering for my books with the complete 3 CD collection of these

inspirational words, but wait. If you order now, we will throw in

the cross and nails. I’m selling my books. Yes the Prophet wants

a Profit. 90% for God and 10% for me. Screw you brother, I got

to eat to. My God wants to feed me well, for when He is fed, so

am I eternally. I’m pretty smart for a drunk huh? A Leper of society.

One of “those”. Pssst....do you see him right there, stay away

from him, let me whisper....I don’t want my God to hear me sin.

He’s praising God like for real. What’s up with that girlfriend? So

weird, just keeping it real girl. You know what I’m saying, what’s

up with dat? Keep this on the down low, gossiping can have repercussions

for me and you know that I can really only dish it out.

I aint taking shit unless I can get high off of it. But that’s just you

and me girlfriend. You know what I’m saying?

No girlfriend, I really don’t. I have seen him and I am actually

quite envious that he has managed to figure out a way of really

connecting with the Holy Spirit. He is feeling the Love that I

yearn for in my own life, but you and I medicate ourselves to ease

our pain. His pain has been removed. So, no girlfriend. I do not

understand tearing down the image that we so desperately seek.

Love, to be Loved and to Hope for a better tomorrow. I’m actually

pretty miserable girlfriend. I see my life slipping by me and

I have already wasted most of it chasing Demons.

Like I told you, I was flipping through the religious channels

I saw a woman giving great advice to other women. She was saying

not to put up with pricks. Hell, we’re being taught to be pricks

because that is what most of you are drawn to. Hard to figure

out except to say that whatever we can have at any time is not as

desirable as the challenge to have what we can not. It is just like

accepting our Christ as our Lord and Savior. You can have Him

at any time, but you seek a different God to serve. You seek Dr.

Feel Good and it does feel soooooo..... good until the ride is over,

which they all come to an end and you live with the consequences

42

of your decisions and unfortunately these short sided decisions

can last a lifetime. First came drinks, then came sex, then came

Jr. in a baby carriage. Animal instinct is difficult to control. If you

can not control “IT”

I will tell you the truth. I want a partner that is an extension

of me except when I need time to spend “time” with our Father. I

guess that makes me clingy. I am so clinging on to my Lord and

Savior right now. He is all I have left to cling to. No one understands

and listens to me more than Him. He reads every word that

I write. He guides my words so that they Honor Him. If I am a

poor witness for you Father, I am sorry. I am a wretched sinner

and I want to redeem myself in your presence. I want to be pure

of heart, mind, body and soul when that Glorious day comes for

me to meet you face to face.

I wish “IT” didn’t have to be so dramatic, but I am delivering

a Gift from God to all Mankind. Dude, that has got to come with

some crazy drama and it does. Keep reading and keep coming

back.

Just as we have seen in our text. How are text can be taken

out of context. Wayyyyyyy..... to easy. The words of our Lord

and Savior can be taken out of context to fit the text of a Leader

that has his own text and his text is to be your Judge and Jury to

fuel his own personal perverted Demons. So shall we pause for a

moment of texting? LOL

You are your best witness for your worst Demon. Damn, did

that just come out of my mouth. I want to hear it in your words

Father.

I AM...

I WILL...

YOU ARE...

YOU WILL...

43

He’s good isn’t He. You could pray a month on that one and

still not scratch the surface. Or I could just sell you a t-shirt and

pray the Holy Spirit will touch your heart soon. How about a hat

and coffee mug with that Salvation you’re buying. I’m kidding

about the t-shirt thing because I think it is wonderful for you to

wear a badge of Honor for our Lord. He just wants you to get past

your check writing mentality and get a little dirty. Check writing

mentality that tells you that you have written checks to the church

for years so your Salvation should be paid in full. Whooptie Shit.

Have you ever touched another human beings heart? Have you

ever had your heart touched by another human being? It’s called

Love people, not an open orgy. Although I would have loved to

have been their Baby. We could do a little remixing Baby. Do a

shag to the left to the left to the left, do a shag to the right to the

right to the right. Now walk it on down, walk it on down, walk it

on down. Yeah Baby, let’s “Shag”. As much as I want to join in

and play, you know I have many horns, I must consider if my Father

would approve. I think I would be happier if I could find one

that didn’t bitch and whine and mope and not give up the booty.

No, I’ve already done that. I think I will be a little pickier the

next time and keep my Demon between my legs well exercised

so that I can make better decisions for a lifetime partner. Young

Love is beautiful. Young decisions usually equal disaster unless

you have the tenacity and commitment to support one another in

every Love Language in the order that your partner understands.

Reference “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman.

I’ve got to get out from behind this computer, so I’m going

to shower and masturbate, then head to the gym and try to read

a little at the beach. No, on second thought. I think I’d just like

to sit there and enjoy the peace regardless of the oil. Might be a

little tough finding peace this weekend with all of the ass that will

be running around there. See you later, I’m going to see if I can

spear one. LOL I let the Marlin off the hook and didn’t recast. She

was special in her own mind. And I’m sure she is. I just didn’t

want to blow something that might be perfect until I gain a grip

44

on my alcoholism. Or does that just sound like creative avoidance

because I’m terrified of the pain they can inflict on the male heart.

I’m thinking I might just go down and look at the Marlins and

spear a Croaker to quench my human warmth thirst.

Those Goofy Bastards are about the best thing I got going is

this miserable World.

Isn’t that a little politically incorrect?

Screw that, I don’t care what anyone believes. I know what I

believe and no one is going to tell me different.

Cool – There’s Something About Mary

My words are politically incorrect for a reason brother. I am

very sane. I am leading where you want to go. I am leading where

you need to go. I am leading a horse to water, but I can not make

him drink. Make mine a Vodka on the rocks, but that’s another

story. What I am trying to tell you brother, I am a Salesman sent

by God to get you to buy in to His Gift. And I Will get your attention

anyway I can. I love the politically correct one. So much

corruption, it just makes it to easy to be right.

Oh, I forgot I took a shit earlier. Just in case anyone wanted to

know. Isn’t that just a little too much information TMI girlfriend.

Are you suffering from a superiority complex or do you just want

“your pants on the ground” and bent over being humiliated and

labeled.

You goes around doing that kind of stuff, you get a Rep. You

don’t want no Rep.

Hey, Screw You Rocky.

45

Screw me, yeah screw me. Who am I to tell nobody nothing

– Rocky

My name is Nobody. My Father’s Name is God. My Brother

and Savior’s Name is Jesus Christ. My Wonderful Counselor’s

name is The Holy Spirit. I’d like to introduce you to my Family.

That’s Moses over there with the hot brunette and you remember

Abraham don’t you. The one behind the bar pouring the drinks

is Judas. Yeah, my brother couldn’t stay mad at him for long. He

loves Him and He is His Brother. He just made Him a Slave and

He doesn’t mind the deal. He just couldn’t bear the thought of

roasting His ass for something He had really no control over. Oh

did He beg? More than is conscionable. Yeah, I always thought

He got kind of a raw deal too. Y’all got any Red Bull, I’m driving

tonight. I wish I could drink, it looks like so much fun.

Does the Wealth pay off in Heaven or does the Wealth pay off

the God “WE” serve here?

Good night God. Thanks for another sober day.

7/3/2010

Good Morning God. I faced my Demon alcohol head on last

night, even after repeated temptations from a sister that I had

known from an earlier time. I managed to hang on and not drink,

but of course the Demon between my legs began demanding to

be exercised and my blood bank donor wanted a contract in order

to quench my Vampirish needs. Had I not had control over that

Demon, I may make decisions based on my Demons needs and

not my own. I am just getting started with battling my Greatest

Demon alcohol, so I just don’t need anything that can give my

Demon an advantage to the detriment of my own self will. So I

have controlled my Vampire and exercised good judgment and

restraint by not allowing my Demon alcohol to influence my de46

cisions. My blood donor has left this morning and I still thirst for

Blood. If the Vampire Blood Bank were open, I would quench

my thirst in a clean, safe, healthy environment, just like going to

the Doc. Dr. Feel Good. Alas, they are not open, so I will settle

for Tofu this morning, exercise the Demon myself per Doctors

prescribed orders and exercise RESRAINT!!! I will not become

a predator and prey upon the innocent, but I can understand why

some Vampires have difficulty with their own restraint. Did you

see how my Vampire brother reacted with a single paper cut and

a single drop of blood. (Twilight) I don’t damn my brother for the

way he is made, I damn the system that corruptly suppresses what

Man craves with the perverted interpretation of God’s Word to

fit with their own corrupt agenda. Or is it just plain ignorance? I

don’t think it is ignorance. I think it is a classic example of Young

Lady/Old Lady. Your interpretation is either based on your own

frame of reference or you give all of your control over to those

that you want to emulate, thus relieving yourselves of discovering

your purpose for God and signing up for; Yeah, I believe

Jesus was crucified on the cross and rose in three days. Honey,

would you pick up my pass for Salvation while your downtown

cheating on me with your boss, because he pays more attention to

you than I do? I’m in the middle of this ballgame and the season

is just getting started. I do like my Angels in the Outfield. Oh

Honey? Would you grab me a beer and make me a sandwich before

you go? Don’t worry about cleaning up the mess, you can do

that when you get home. Check out this new video game I picked

up today. Do you want to have Sex? Huh, you’ve having these

headaches a lot here lately. Have you been to the Doc.

You damn right you worthless sack of shit. I went to Dr. Feel

Good and even picked up a paycheck to take care of your sorry

ass. I just don’t know why I put up with “IT”. I just don’t know

why I can not overcome my comfort zones to leave. I just don’t

know why I don’t report you when you hurt me. I just don’t know

why I did nothing, when you hurt our child. You are a predator

and you frighten me. I can not fight this Demon of the flesh alone

47

and I don’t think God will physically intervene. I think God will

mentally intervene and allow you to search your heart for the answers

and yes, doing nothing is an answer and you must live with

the consequences of your decisions. If you are anything like me,

He spoke to my heart and told me to seek help from my brothers

and sisters in Christ to battle a Demon that was to Large for me

to handle alone. So my smoking Demon has gained strength as I

battle my alcohol Demon and self medicate my Vampirish thirst.

Don’t worry about all of your Demons right now. Battle your

one true Satan and his Demons will follow with your renewed

strength with Faith in a power greater than yourself. The Power of

God. Submit your weaknesses over to Him and ask Him for help.

Then turn to your brother and say; I need your help too.

Do you remember that movie Brewsters Millions. He had to

spend 30 millions dollars in 30 days to inherit his real inheritance

of 300 million. The catch was, he couldn’t tell anyone why he

was blowing the money like a drunker sailor. His friends kept

trying to stop him because they were unaware of the deal. My

friends know not what I am attempting to do for our Lord.

God has been chipped away from U.S. Generation after Generation.

I can’t imagine what our forefathers are thinking right

now. Yes I can, What the Freak are you doing? We busted our

asses to get to the promised land and gave thanks to God for allowing

safe passage and still thanked him for the struggles that

come with establishing a Free Nation. This Freedom that you

enjoy today comes from the sweat, blood and tears of your forefathers

that just wanted something a little better for their children

than they had for themselves.

Mr Owl,

How many generations does it take for God’s children to forget

where they came from, forget You are the Father and Savior,

forget to enlighten the commoners financial intelligence, forget

48

Faith, forget Hopes and Dreams and most of all, forget to help

our fellow man?

Let’s find out. Your parents generation struggled with depression

and fought for a better life for you. Your generation is somehow

entitled to everything you have and now your kids generation

must have everything or they have nothing. So my answer

to the quandary is 3. Can I have one of those red tootsie pops?

Make that three in different colors and beliefs. Islamic, Jews and

Christians. They all have a different flavor and they all taste good

when they haven’t been tainted by the corrupt that want more

than their fair share. They want God’s share and God can not

fulfill His Promise to us without the help of His Children. We

got to want it people. We have got to want God’s Gift to the

World. LEGACY. What Legacy will this Generation leave to this

World? What Legacy will God take in our History? If I were a

betting man, which I am, I’d have to be all in on Satan right now.

If you truly examine the state of our Global affairs, we need to be

all in for God right now. But I’m just one man and can only do

what “I am” compelled to do. “I will” watch how God’s Gift is

received and place my bets accordingly.

I’d love to talk to you about what is going on if you can have

an open mind. My thoughts and interpretation are way out there, I

know. But look at where the current religious and political leaders

have gotten us. “Imagine Turning to God for Change”.

You asked me via a facebook friend if I had figured out the

144,000 that are chosen yet. No man, I’ve been drinking and trying

to figure out which one of the 24 elders leg I will have to

hump to get a dry martini when I get there, if my only talent that

I have to offer is humping. I’ve been told that Judas is tending

bar because our brother Jesus couldn’t stand to punish Him any

longer, because it was all in the Father’s script. And after all,

Judas is our brother that took the dive for us to characterize all

of our own Demons and learn from our mistakes. Judas has been

49

one great teacher. I don’t know about you, but I have learned a lot

more from my failures than I ever did from my triumphs. I want

to get shit faced on the blood of Jesus Christ.

I am reminded of the man I know that let his demon alcohol

influence his Vampire and it cost $247,000.00 That’s an expensive

pint of blood in that it creates an opportunity for Satan to

live when a new soul is brought into this World, a soul that was

not wanted. This is not a good start to the struggle of Life and

I can only pray that these souls will endeavor to persevere and

place the blame on the Demons of our ancestors and their creation

thereof.

As I sit here not doing any of the things that I told myself I

was going to do, I think about my Demon. There really is but one

thing that is holding me back from tying one on and that is that

damn meeting at 8. I have exercised my Vampire, wrote in my

journal and now feeling alone. I love being alone, but I don’t like

feeling alone. When I feel alone is when I want to betray myself,

because I am only sneaking around on myself.

WHY HAVE YOU COME TO ME NOW? WHY DIDN’T

YOU COME BEFORE NOW?

I didn’t understand Lord, my frame of reference did not include

you. How can I accept something I don’t understand? I was

serving another God, my Lord. I was serving Satan and his band

of Demons and there was no room in my heart for you. There

was only room in my heart for the seed of your Gift to mankind

to be hibernated in my subconscious until my back was against

the wall and forced me to seek your guidance.

WHAT GRADE WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF ATTEMPTING

TO DO MY WILL?

50

If I asked you Father, while I am still in the process of completing

my purpose for you, what grade would you give me? I

would have to give myself an F. Failure.

“A” – ADMIRABLE “B” – BRAVE “C” – CHARITABLE

“D” – DEFEATOR OF THYSELF “E” – EXCELLENT EFFORT

“F” – FAITH VS. FAILURE “G” – THAT BELONGS

TO FRED SANFORD “H” – HUMILITY and HUMOR “I”

– IS-A-BELL NECESSARY TO CALL YOU HOME?

No Lord, Nathan J. Isbell is Home. Thanks for giving the

reader another illustration of 666. You find what you seek and

can interpret to fit your own agenda and so can World Leaders.

Hey, what’s the J stand for in my name? Or the next letter of your

grading system?

ASK

HEART

Dig it, I can do that now. Now that I have trained my mind

to listen to it. And the only thing that matters is what I believe in

my heart. I have accepted the Lord Jesus Christ to come into my

heart and be my “Wonderful Counselor”. I have to go to my heart

to seek my guidance and wisdom from our Lord. That seed, that

Gift carved out just enough in my subconscious to “Wake me up,

before I GO GO”. I was a Goner and I wanted to be, BTW G is

for Goner. But I have Faith in that magic seed, I envision, drum

roll please. I envision a stairway built to Heaven using the bricks

of Mankind and our Lord and Savior may come from Heaven and

dwell among us and empathetically Heal us on the inside and out.

His Promised Everlasting Kingdom here on Earth as prophesied.

Gods Legacy Trust LLC.

Can you feel “IT” Capt. Compost – Pet Detective - When

Nature Calls

51

Lord, your flesh was ripped from your body to prepare your

soul for the Father. You have patiently waited with the Father

hoping someone would hear the Holy Spirit and Witness for you

like a true prophet. Let them rip into me oh, Lord. Just as they

ripped into you. I can understand where your head was those last

days. You have prepared yourself to do the thing that you must

for the Father and are willing to suffer the consequences of that

decision. Let them rip Lord, I’m ready to be with you. You may

have liked them, I’m sick of them and would humbly walk in

your steps to give myself to the Father for my brothers and my

sins. But I will not be the coward that Judas was and I will learn

from His mistake. I will punish myself by being the Brother I

have always wanted to be and lost that dream. The opportunity

costs of being a brother to help a brother are endless and so are

the opportunities.

I suppose “S” would stand for satisfactory Salesman?

YOU NEVER ASKED ME FOR A GRADE ON “GODS

LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT”, I GIVE “IT” AS YOU

PROCLAIM “IT”. “S”

ASK ME

As I have told you Lord, “S” is not good enough for me and

I pray this book will do you more Glory. I ask of you now Lord,

what grade do you give my acts of drunkenness as I make a complete

ass out of myself for all to see?

FOR THE ACTS OF NATHAN THE PROPHET, I

GIVE YOU AN “S”. IT IS A HANG MAN RIDDLE THAT

ALLOWS ALL MY CHILDREN TO PROCLAIM THEIR

OWN MEANING OF THEIR GRADE “S”. JUST AS MANY

HAVE LIVED THROUGH JUDAS, SO SHALL THEY

LIVE THROUGH NATHAN THE PROPHET AND LEARN

FROM HIS MISTAKES.

52

Too easy, I love it when you speak directly to me. SAVED,

that’s my finally answer.

WRONG SHOW BROTHER. THIS IS THE FAMILY

FEUD. SURVEY SAYS # 1 ANSWER. THIS SHOW IS A

LITTLE DIFFERENT THOUGH. THE TOP FIVE ANSWERS

ARE DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE AT DIFFERENT

TIMES IN THEIR LIFE. “S” IS A PERSONAL

GRADING SYSTEM. MOST CHOOSE “SELF” AS THEIR

# 1 ANSWER.

All Men, brother Jesus. Myself included. Praise the Lord.

I wanna be a prophet for God, soooo.... freakin bad. Smiling

next to Jesus and the King.

I wanna be on the cover of, God’s magazine. Healing all

my children like it’s no big thing.

Cause every time I close my eyes. I pray that I have given you

pride. It’s You that I wish to please, oh please Lord tell me why,

please tell me why, cause I’m already a billionaire. Whoa ooh

Whoa oo, I’m already a billionaire.

All for your Glory my Lord and Savior. All for your Glory.

I’m out of here like an anonymous alcoholic. Your humble servant

will humbly request his prize when he meets you Lord.

ASK NOW

Damn, I hate when you do that. I need to go to a meeting and

I will pray about it. I pray that my Leper brothers and sister will

fill my heart with the Holy Spirit. My own quandary is like the

Genie giving three wishes and you don’t want to waste any and

in my case, you grant me but one. This is a very deep quandary

Lord. Thanks, you know how I love a riddle.

53

Just got back. Great meeting. We discussed taking that first

drink. Oh, the number of times that I have said I will just get a

half pint only to get into the store and be frugal and get the fifth.

I will ration it as I rationalize everything. I heard many stories of

no self control and my stories had only just begun.

Lord, can we pick this up in the morning. I just really want

to speak to You with my heart tonight and I’m getting tired and

losing focus. I’m sober and I want to thank You for a great day.

Good Night Father and my brother Jesus, it’s heart to heart time

with the Wonderful Counselor. And don’t let me forget to tell you

about my sponsor getting on my ass tonight.

Before I forget Lord, about my prize. Let me witness your

Gift take root and begin to flourish with my own sober eyes. For

I would have helped Mankind and fulfilled my purpose for You,

with the Guidance of the Wonderful Counselor. Night now.

7/4/2010

Happy Birthday America and Good Morning God. God

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaassse grant me a sober day today. 7/4/1776

– 07/4/2010 So it’s our 234th birthday as a Free Nation. Well I’d

have to say we had a pretty good run at being a Worldwide Global

Empire. I just have to wonder how many more years do we have

before the History books will forever mark a date, a date at which

time the Greatest Empire the World has ever known will fall.

An Empire founded on Judea Christian principles. The radical

Islamic terrorist will have been successful in destroying God’s

Promised land that our Forefathers had fought and struggled so

hard to attain.

Have you notice that even the greatest of sitcoms always have

an end? We love them at first and wouldn’t think of missing a

show. But after a while we begin to miss a few and figure we’ll

54

catch it later on TVO. But things get busy and we never get around

to it. So we watch the show a few weeks later and enjoy it, but it

is losing it’s luster as time goes on. It kind of gets predictable. As

human beings, we are always on the look out for something a little

different. Something a little flashier and exciting. Our God has

been the same throughout time. But just speaking from America’s

time, after 234 yrs of God being chipped away from our society

by the Political and Religious Pharisees of the day, as they all begin

to push their own agendas and not Gods, we will fall. Just as

sitcoms fizzle out, so will our God if something different doesn’t

happen soon. This parable can be used in many facets of your life.

Have a heart to heart with the Wonderful Counselor, He really is

wonderful. You just have to see for yourselves.

The birthing pains of Christ are building in intensity my

brother just as prophesied. The time is now for God’s Gift to

be opened and given to the World. You say you don’t want our

Empire to fall, but what are you willing to do to make a change?

Are you willing to give your World over to Leaders that their

motivations are questionable to say the least? When will God’s

people stand up and fight for God. When God has been involved,

a battle never lost. We have depended on God when our Face is to

the ground. God depends on us to build His Everlasting, Earthly

Kingdom. Why is it so hard to believe in Him?

Pfffffttttt.... God, what’s He ever done for me? Look at my life

and “I just prayed to a God I don’t believe in”.

Brother, if you don’t believe in Him, why would you bother

to pray for Him. You are praying for yourself to fix yourself. You

need to pray for Him to fix you. He will listen and it will be your

Faith in your brother that fixes you. As Jesus walked through the

crowds, He felt a tug at His robe. A sense of power that transferred

from His body to the body that was tugging at Him. All this

person needed after putting her Faith in God was to just touch the

bottom of His garment and she would be Saved. Jesus stopped

55

immediately after sensing the Faith that this woman has. He says

to her; your Faith has healed you.

Pharisees of today have been perverting that Act for a very

long time anointing themselves as Spiritual Healers of Mankind.

They prey upon what you believe in, they prey upon your Faith

and vulnerabilities in a state of mind that is trying to make decisions

with the heart. Our Father has allowed this to happen due

to our Covenant. “Of our own free will”. All Predators will be

judged, but for now, it’s no wonder people grab their pocket book

or turn on the crazy alert whenever our Savior is mentioned. That

Sucks a Big One. Our Father is sickened to see the Greedy gobble

up the Charitable. You can chime in anytime my Lord.

HELLO, MY NAME IS I AM... AND I AM... AND I THINK

I’LL JUST LISTEN TONIGHT. THANKS EVERYONE,

IT’S GOOD TO BE HERE. AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO

YOU NATHAN FOR CHAIRING THIS MEETING. WITH

THAT, I WILL... PASS TO YOU.

You’re such a smart ass, I love you brother. For those of you

that don’t know, that is how we introduce ourselves in twelve step

meetings and you can share your story or pass. I have chosen of

my own free will to share my story anonymously with you. Not

for my Glory, but for the Glory of God before “I PASS”.

Wow, it’s hard to get another thought right now. All I can

think about is when “I PASS”. What have I made of my Life?

What will I leave? Will anyone even remember that I was here?

Will anyone care?

I WILL...

Well I know you Will, “You had me at Hello”. I just wonder if

I can take this wretched Life of mine and benefit mankind with it.

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YOU WILL...

Will my brothers and sisters join me to erect You my Lord and

Savior, an Earthly, Everlasting Entity so You may dwell among

us and Heal us?

THEY WILL...

Will you grant my wish to witness your Gift rise to fruition

through sober eyes?

WE’LL SEE...

You’re a hard sale Lord. Everytime I try and pin You down

and close my deal with You, somehow it is always put back on me.

IF “IT” IS

TO BE

“IT”

IS UP TO

ME

You’re using my words against me aren’t you? It’s always

been about me when I’m in my own presence. It’s time we all

make it about You, not me. Or did I steal your words and make

them my own? I’m ready to surrender Lord, it has been about me

long enough. I’m tired and I wanna go Home.

You know I was just sitting here reflecting on the things you

have shared with my heart and I was thinking about the whole Him

thing. Our brother being Him. The difficulty to accept Him as our

brother. We haven’t been able to accept him because he is imperfect

unlike ourselves. Brother, just a reminder, there hasn’t been a

perfect brother since our brother Jesus Christ and we missed that

boat. We are all imperfect brothers of a perfect brother. I’m not

saying let’s get together for a circle jerk over it, but I am trying

57

to get you to open your eyes about your imperfect brother and

inspire him for more. Before you start a rigorous re-invention of

your brother, be selfish and start with yourself. Also understand

that your brother may not want what you want. But if he wants

a check, he better get off his ass and get one. That is where you

may help to inspire him to discover his talents and enjoy Life and

Worship our Father in anyway he sees fit. That’s a very personal

relationship and no one needs any butt in skiis telling them they

are lighting the incense wrong or they are doing “IT” all wrong.

All paths to God are good as long as God is the guiding light and

His words are not manipulated for your own agenda.

“Cash for Clunkers”. Now let me get this straight. You can

trade in your piece of shit and get a trade allowance of “X” and

you purchase a new car to stimulate the economy and remove the

pieces from the streets. Novel idea, but part of the deal was to

crush all automobiles that are entered into the program. Are you

kidding me? Did you really crush automobiles that still had life

left in them? Automobiles that could have stimulated a brother to

apply for one and get a job. If it were a Cash for Food campaign,

would you destroy my trade and deny the hungry? If “IT” were

a Cash for God campaign, would you embrace “IT” and heal the

hurting? Or deny God and your hungry, hurting brothers.

I was just thinking while creatively avoiding the gym, about

that brain fart about the Two Witnesses. So just suppose for a

moment that I am one of the two witnesses in Revelations. I will

want my brother for the other. My brother and sister in Christ.

Damn, did I just solve another riddle. I love riddles. Isn’t it just

like our Father to leave the door open to anyone that wants to

Praise and Witness for Him. I guess in this case anyone that wants

to participate can just pick up their trophy over their. Your brother

has it and He can’t wait to give it to you. It is the Trophy of Love

and Appreciation. You came back for me my brother. Why?

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YOU ARE MY

BROTHER

I AM

MY BROTHERS

KEEPER

Headed to the gym my Father and Brother. I need for the

Counselor to give me a break. It’s beginning to not be so Wonderful.

LOL Just Kidding, but I really do need to relax my mind for a

moment and I dare not lose any more thoughts than I have already

while intoxicated. If this is truly for the benefit of Mankind. I’m

still not sure, I’m a drunk that has been sober forrrrrr...... tomorrow

will be two weeks. Yay, for me.

Good Ship, Good Crew

Hooray for “ME” and Screw You. - Dad

That ship is going down, it is just a matter of time. Sometimes

you can not tell your brother that he is on the wrong path. They

must figure it out on there own. Unfortunately, the more we pull

at them, the more they pull away and hurt us. I pray that you can

connect with your lost brother, I’m sorry, I’m lacking in expertise

or even articulation in this area. So I guess “that’s not my area”.

But you know me, I’ll always pull a monkey out of my ass and

add my two cents whether it belongs or not. So give me a moment

to pray on it.

Lord, I’m still not hearing you. Tell me, I don’t want to make

a mistake here. Tell me.

PLANT

SEEDS

Man, this is some good shit. Lord, I need a break. Throw me

a freakin bone here, I need to do something else. BRB

59

K

If you are a smart drunk like me, you learn an exit strategy

just as they told us in the D.U.I. Class we attended. The problem

with an exit strategy and being a smart drunk is, you can’t go

anywhere. You plan your day around when you plan to get hammered,

which is all the time. You create a prison for yourselves

without the bars.

I drove out to Leper Land today while I listened to my assignment.

For what ever reason, God decided to bless me and allow

my CD player to work. No shit, there were no Angels or flashes

of light, the damn thing just didn’t skip through both CD’s. Great

message, great speaker. While I was at Leper Land, I notice the

purple martins were buzzing around like flies. No bird Sanctuary

there yet, but maybe one day. They must have been preparing

for their long migration home. Our Life time is a long migration

home. How we fly along the way, is how the Father will Judge us

of our worthiness.

We talked about being the lone wolf tonight. I am the lone

wolf now and I am lonely. Right now the only thing that helps me

keep my sanity is knowing that my Father expects more from me.

I am so much more than I have become. He gives me strength, because

I want to be sober for Him and myself. Great topic tonight,

I didn’t share. These men and women were on the same path that

I have been on. Some were much further down the path, I am

blessed to have them in my life now. They are yelling back saying

“Go Back, It’s a Dead End”. I have flirted with the edge enough

to know that at anytime for the rest of my life, I could find myself

in a half way house. I am no better than anyone there, so how can

I pass judgment on the way that they have lived their lives. I’ve

got a Vodka Log in my eye, turn around and let me critique you.

This message may or may not resonate with the drunks, this

message is for those who the drunks offend. Do not argue with

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a drunk. Do not encourage a drunk. Do not facilitate a drunk.

Do not put up with a drunk. Let what a drunk says to you, roll

off your back. Your apology will be coming from them in the

morning as they are perspiring through the phone. Do not let the

words of a drunk knock you off your balance. Do not preach to a

drunk. Plant seeds as our Father has said. It may take many years

for the seed to take root, but the drunk is the only one that can

decide if he is ready to plant “IT” yet or not. As Albert Wine-stein

would say; have a few glasses and become a Genius. Do you really

want to have an argument with a Genius in their own mind?

They haven’t listened to a freakin word you have said. They are

planning what they will say next when their mouth is not moving.

I believe I have found my purpose after my project ends. I

want to witness for our Lord at twelve step meetings unexpectedly

around the World. That way I can do what I so deeply desire

to do. I desire to publicly praise Him and keep my Vanity in restraint.

I’ll be no different than any other visitor from out of town.

I just love the brotherhood that twelve step program has. If you

are from out of town, there is a booster shot of God waiting for

you close by. Go and get it and share your story. Finally, somebody

to listen to me besides the Hotel TV. Finally, somebody that

will share their embarrassments and more importantly, how they

climbed out of that insanity.

I was told back in college by a guy that looked like one of the

Three Musketeers, that maybe I ought to think about not drinking.

That was after I had taken out my frustrations on a washing

machine in the dorm that had ruined a borrowed shirt. I ripped

the top off it and took a piss in it. That ought to fix it right up. So

then, I proceeded to crawl up on top of it for a long winters nap.

I can’t remember how I dodged that bullet, but I wish now that I

had listened to the Musketeer.

Wow, when you really start to take inventory of your Life, it

can be pretty depressing. But that’s just me the drunk. I’m sure

61

your world is perfect. So I’m not speaking to your lying ass, I’m

speaking to the people who are hurting on the inside and wear

a mask of courage. Keep your mask on, there are those that are

looking to bend you over. Be careful who you allow to be your

close friends. You know, the gossip girl. I will tell you this, if

you would be okay to see your verbal words in print on the front

page of the paper, then by all means speak your mind. When

your peer is in Judgment of your brother or sister in Christ, take

a non-confrontational stance. Remember, when your fair weathered

friend is not with you, she says the same things about you.

Don’t stick your nose up their ass because they are pretty and

popular, they are just as clueless as the rest of us. Do not give

your control over to someone that has no business with control.

A pretty smile, athlete or wealthy parents, a path of God, does not

make. Always examine someone’s heart, they may have a heart

like your own. Those are the relationships that I would think exists,

but I wouldn’t know. I just trained my heart to tell my mind

to shut the hell up and let the heart pray on the decision-making

process for now on.

Thank you Lord for a sober 4th of July weekend. You are my

Lord, Savior and Brother. Thank you for coming back for me.

You didn’t forget me, I forgot You Lord. I will never forget you

again.

7/5/2010

Good Morning God. Please grant me a sober day.

To think about all of the times that I did not have You in my

Life is pretty frightening. I guess I am very lucky to be alive,

strike that, there’s no guessing about it. I’m alive and sober because

of you my Lord and the twelve step program will help me

to stay that way. I am excited about witnessing for you to the

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Lepers. I am one and I need their help to control my Demon that

You have defeated for me.

I’ve been praying about what my twelve step sponsor said.

He said that one of the steps is to do something nice for someone

and not let them know it was you that did it. I don’t know many

people, but I do know that my (2nd Wife) is in financial trouble

with no one to turn to. I haven’t sent her any gift cards since May

24th. The last time we emailed, she did ask for a gift card and I

sent her a check immediately. I know that was very difficult for

her to ask for help. I will not preface my gift to her, I’ll just send

it weekly. I hope that will qualify for that step in the program.

Do not tempt the Lord, Thy God. I was just thinking about

the sharks and the oil spill correlation. Lord, I don’t really claim

responsibility for this disaster, but what the hell, I’ll ask. If the

oil spill is of your doing and it comes from my proclamation then

by all means show us what it means. Let it blacken the Gulf of

Mexico. Let it destroy all of you wonderful creatures. Let it destroy

the lives of those children that depend on it. Lord, if this is

your will, show me. Pssstt....I’m trying a little reverse psychology

on my brother. He’ll never go for it, He knows my heart. Let this

be an example of me not being a Seer, I am a Prophet of God. I

tell you what I have seen, heard, read, experience and what the

Holy Spirit puts on my heart. That’s it, no predictions only wishful

thinking. But hey, if He turns if off in the next three days, I

guess I’m going to have to get me a wand, robe, funny hat and a

white owl. But you can forget that tattoo on the forehead. Ouch.

Do not ask your Lord to prove Himself to you by proclaiming a

challenge. Unless it is a challenge for you to conquer your Demons

and witness for Him while helping your brother to strive

for more.

I will insert a simple note into every envelope with the gift

card to (2nd Wife). The note will read;

63

I AM

PRAYING FOR YOU

I WILL

ALWAYS LOVE YOU

Thanks Lord, that is inspirational and I would forget it if I

didn’t write it down. I am kind of digging the correlation between

my love for my (2nd Wife) and your Love for us all. We all are

your (2nd Wives) just as You have proclaimed to my heart. The

more I want her back, the more she pushes back. The more You

want us back, the more Your children push back. At what age

do we decide that our parents embarrass us? When are we as

parents suppose to allow them to spread their own wings, knowing

that they will face many turbulent storms? Do we close the

door behind them? If your door is closed, then seek God’s door.

It is always open and a fatted calf awaits you. You will always

have a Home with the Heavenly Father. When you discover your

purpose in Life, then you will have Life. You must seek for your

purpose through your brother.

Lord, our conversations continue to amaze me. When I think

that I have shared everything that I know, You put another thought

on my heart.

It’s like you were inside my head and we were having GREAT

SEX – Broadcast News

Today’s topic was divine intervention. “Hello, hello, hello,

is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there

anyone at home?”

I hear You Lord, I hear You.

“I have a special purpose” - The Jerk

64

I have a complete visual of exactly how my Lord wants for

His Gift to be delivered. It is to be delivered anonymously by the

Lepers of our society. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before,

guess I was studying the young lady to much and could not see

the old lady. You yearn for what I know. How to pray and hear

the Wonderful Counselor. When you know how to do “IT”, it’s

too easy. When a decision is to be made that could alter your

Life. Stop, pause, pray and decide. This decision will be easy to

answer with your mind, but you need to have a heart to heart with

the Wonderful Counselor. He is always there for you to call on

at anytime of day or night. Once you evaluate all of the possible

outcomes that your decision could produce, it is your choice to

choose what you feel Your Father would approve of or not. Your

decision and will always be yours. I choose to witness for our

Lord anonymously to my Leper brothers and sisters in Christ.

That is my long term purpose for God, His children and myself

to achieve sobriety.

Lord, I just don’t know what to say. You’ve chosen to speak to

my heart and I’ve chosen to listen. I have a perfect vision of my

purpose for You. That gives me so much relief to have a sense of

direction. I will be of pure heart when I meet you Lord. I’m having

a little difficulty hearing you tonight, maybe it’s just me and

I’m a little tired or I just can’t think of anything to ask You. Lord,

is there anything you would like to talk to me about?

ENDEAVOR TO PERSEVERE

Yeah, I know Father. You’ve said that before.

I

LOVE

YOU

SON

65

You’ve never said that before. Thank you Father. I Love You

with all my Heart, mind, body and soul. Sometimes I just like to

hear my Father praise me with His Everlasting, Forgiving Love.

Don’t we all crave that sense of being Loved? My Father loves

me and you, I want to make my Father proud. Don’t you? He

promises a better Life than the one that I am pissing away.

Thanks Lord, just needed a smoke and prayer. We’ll deal with

the smokes next. Let’s battle this Demon together tonight. I say

to you my Leper brothers and sisters in Christ. The next time you

are feeling squirrelly, I implore you to write a letter to God. I want

you to tell Him what is going on in your Life and convince Him

that you need your Demon to make it another day. He will listen

and I want you to listen as you write to Him. Listen for your helpers,

listen for you betrayers. Pause for a long moment and weigh

out the decision with all of the possible outcomes before you decide.

Then choose for yourselves and live with the consequences

of those decisions. Take responsibility for your actions, they are

your actions. When there is no one else around to blame, you may

be to blame. I am alone brother and I hate it. Maybe I’m to blame

for where I am at now. Ya think? No I haven’t, but now I Will if

I can control my Demon. Ironic: Flirting with time by Tom Petty

is playing on my computer.

These are the signs to look for. They are everywhere, when

you are seeking your purpose you will see them. Your signs will

depend on what you are seeking. If you are seeking a reason to

destroy yourselves, your mind and Demon will accommodate. If

you are seeking to make a difference in someone elses life, your

Lord Thy God will accommodate with allowing you to find what

it is you so desperately need and seek. A purpose to keep living.

This was a pretty cool study I picked up from Lou Tice. I’m

especially interested in this tactic now that I am faced with the

reality that my parents are getting old and won’t be around much

longer. This will work well if both parents are alive, but if you

66

have a loved one suffering from a broken heart because they have

lost their soul mate, try this. Give them a calendar at Christmas

that maps out activities throughout the year that will include your

widowed parent. I promise you, it will increase their life span

because they will have something to look forward to. They will

have a reason and purpose to live another day. WARNING: If you

elect to do this, do not make alterations unless it’s life or death

and quickly reschedule. What you are screwing with could be life

or death for your loved one.

Well Lord, I guess it’s about time for this Crazy Manic Freak

to call it a night.

Nathan, My Brother. What would you have Me say to

your sarcasm?

I don’t know Lord, I’m just so tired of being thought of as

Crazy. I know that it is your Will that I do what I am compelled

to do, but shit, I’m sick of it. I want to buy the fast pass and get

my Life back.

BUY IT!!! Your Demon awaits you. Remember my Brother,

I told you that “I DON’T CARE, BECAUSE I LOVE

YOU”. HELL, I’ll give you a ride. Ever road a pink elephant

or would you prefer the magic carpet ride to the liquor store?

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all the Angels in my

life that managed to successfully take the wheel from my hand

and make it safely home without killing myself or worse, someone

else.

I want an umpa loompa now Daddy or I’ll...I’ll...I’ll die. -

Willy Wonka modified a little LOL

Don’t you just hate that threat. Good night Father, you’re on

a roll. I need another smoke BRB.

67

K

If you leave me, I will kill myself. First let me say, why would

you ever give your power over to another human being? Second,

understand that I have no expertise in this area. I have no frame

of reference at all. I really am scared to even pray on this one,

because I know I am not the one to ask. “Not my area”.

How can you know what to say? Every case is different.

They must search their own hearts. They must plant seeds.

They must allow those seeds to take root. The soil is out of

their control and can only be cultivated when it’s owner is

ready to plow. I AM only the seed, my children are the soil. If

my seeds do not find fertile ground and the soil becomes my

Master, would it not be better for Me to find a new field and

give someone else a chance with this one that you have been

farming. The one that you have been farming at the expense

of your own life. So I say, who is killing who?

Folks, I think that monkey didn’t come out of my ass at all.

That really is not my area. But Damn, that’s sounds right.

My Father has taught me many things. - The Godfather

So has mine, but mine are for the betterment of Mankind. Not

Greed and Corruption. But the movie series was just Killer. I’m a

huge fan. Al Pacino, dude, you are a bad ass. I’m glad to have an

example of what I do not want to be. It displeases the Father and

we will carry the chains we forge in Life eternally after Death.

Your Game may be over brother, but mine will just have begun.

I invite you to join us, let me get you a Bloody Mary with a twist

of Jesus. Maybe that will help to clear your head. Man, if you

don’t have anything to hold on to, why don’t you just try Jesus

one time.

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If they’re going to drink themselves to death, then by all

means do it and decrease the surplus population. - Scrooge

Be careful who you let in your head brother. The only way

Jesus will ever have any room in there is if you allow Him into

your heart. Your reticular activating system may draw from your

subconscious, but decisions of the heart are made by the heart and

the whole gang is invited to debate the issue at hand. It is your

decision brother, make it a God one.

Give me some knuckles brother and let’s call it a night. Thanks

for another sober day.

7/6/2010

Good Morning God. What a great day to be alive!!! My parents

and aunt are coming by for a visit, so I’ll have to get going

in a minute. I just wanted to quickly put on paper what was on

my heart this morning.

As we continue our conversations Lord, I realize that I have

a lifetime of stories to tell. How can one man tell everything you

want me to tell them? How will they conduct their lives for your

Glory?

EYES SEE

EARS HEAR

BRAIN THINKS

HEART

FEELS

HEART

KNOWS

69

ASK

HEART

Cool, I get “IT”. I almost forgot Lord, please grant me another

sober day. I think the reason that I almost forgot it is because

I’m getting a little cocky that I haven’t really been doing much

thinking about a drink. Ooooooh....that’s scary. That’s when I

start thinking I can join in on the fun and just have one beer.

Well two never hurt anybody....you’re my good friend, tell me

I’m right and I’ll buy you a drink. What did you say your name

was again friend? Where are we anyway friend? What day is it?

Am I bleeding?

Say something in this ear. That’s the damnedest thing, I

haven’t heard anything in that ear since I was a kid.

Your lip stopped bleeding to George. They’re not there either.

What?

Zuzu’s petals. You have been granted your wish George.

You’ve never been born. That is what you wished for isn’t it

George? - It’s a Wonderful Life

Are you alright Danielson?

Yeah, I just wanted to face my fear before training. I guess it

was pretty stupid.

Miagi say same thing to Father. Father agree, WAS stupid.

- Karate Kid

I almost forgot to tell you what my sponsor got on my ass

about. It was the 4th of July weekend after all and I hadn’t had a

drink in a week and a half. I can handle this. So I took my blood

donor to the club and had to refuse my Demon from my blood

70

donor repeatedly. I had a miserable time and couldn’t wait to

get out of there. As my sponsored told me, you’re less than two

weeks into this and your clubbing. That’s pretty stupid. I had been

invited to go to an outing with my friend Bill for the 4th. Whiskey

and half naked women. I don’t think so. I Will Pass. Those are

my two largest Demons of all and they play quite well together

actually. Then all of my other Demons are invited to play as well.

You have to rest your mind and allow your heart to make your

decisions. What would my Father approve of? When you serve

another God, you are in no position to make those decisions. Your

Demon is in control of your destiny. You wake up in beds not

knowing how you got there. Not exactly the role model for your

Father or His children that you thought you would be. Go back to

your dreams, what was I going to make out of my life when I was

a Dreamer? I want to know because I’m in the middle of a freakin

Nightmare. What will I make of my life? Is there still time? Am

I a Goner? Can I be saved from the Hell that I have created for

myself here on earth?

I don’t know if this is selfish on my part. But my Vampire

thirsts for Human Blood and I can’t seem to find a replacement

donor that fills my heart. My confusion comes in when I think

about what I had. My (2nd Wife) quenches my thirst for both my

Vampirish desires as well as potentially fulfill what I crave spiritually,

she’s so close and I can not touch her.

Nathan, I understand. All of Mankind is my (2nd Wife) and

I have been trying to win back her heart since I left her to do

my Father’s Will. Just as you have chosen to do. You have

chosen to fulfill your purpose for the Father “at all costs”. I

had the same assignment my brother. Did you think you were

special or something?

Yes, I am special. I must be, You came back for me. I don’t

want to just be grateful for You raising me from the Dead. I want

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to witness to all of the Lepers that are truly in that desperate state

of mind and let them know that there are options. I want to touch

them in a way that encourages them to touch others and spread

like a disease to kill a disease. I want them to know that there is

Hope when there is Faith and Charity.

Hey, I need to rest my heart for a moment and get a work out

in. Damn, I’m looking good. LOL

BRB K...

K...You look great brother.

Hell’s Bell’s by AC/DC just came on, so I’ll rock out with

You before I go. Love Ya Bro.

Hey if you want to Rock out with Us, go to grooveshark.com

and pull it up. Yeah, that’s a plug for them, maybe they can chip

in for God if God has helped them.

I’m drawing a blank now Lord. Am I coming to the end of my

purpose for You or just the beginning? I am already feeling that

sense of fulfillment only derived from mission accomplished.

God was my pilot when I was the obnoxious drunk in coach and

God will be my pilot as the Witness that He wants me to become

in First Class.

Do you want to talk about embarrassment. As a teen I didn’t

want to participate in some sports because I didn’t want to shower

with the other guys. My pubic hair was lacking to say the least because

I was a blondie. I allowed my manhood to prevent me from

reaching manhood. The funny thing is, I shave it now because I

want to look younger. LOL Don’t allow your judgmental peers to

rob you of anything in your life. Just think, later in life they won’t

have any hair on their head because it has migrated to their back.

The point is, don’t let anything prevent you from accomplishing

what you believe in, especially black mail. Let those that would

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use black mail as a tool against their brother, have a special place

in the Masters Plan. I haven’t been shown this place, “not my

area”. I did see a room that people were sitting around in shit and

drinking coffee though. I thought, that’s not so bad until I heard

someone say, ok, coffee break is over, back on your heads. I don’t

know, maybe it had something to do with never taking your head

out of your ass while you were alive.

Tonight’s twelve step meeting topic was about peoples experience

being their best teacher and finding their Higher Power.

I didn’t speak tonight. I like to pray about what I say. These are

the type questions that you must reflect on and ask your heart for

all the possible solutions. Then make up your mind knowing the

consequences of your actions. As I have said, my brother Judas

taught me a lot by learning by mistakes. But being bone headed

and being bit, is the lessons that stick with you the best. Unfortunately,

the Demon alcohol is very powerful and will entice you to

keep coming back for more, even when you know in good conscious

it’s poison. I can’t tell you why I chose to serve my Demon

knowing damn good in well where it leads. I just did it. As the

Late Great Elvis Presley would sing; “I Did “IT” My Way”. I sure

did and it got me no where. I want to try His Way for awhile and

see how that works out for me. What the Hell do I have to lose?

As far as finding ones Higher Power. That is a part of my purpose

for my Lord. I am sharing the whole process of how I found

mine. I pray that you can take something from my experiences

and apply it to your own life to help you to find your purpose for

God. Most of us don’t even try to seek “IT” until we are at the

bottom pits of hell, living a lie that we have created for ourselves.

The Demons that alter your judgment are the Demons to fear

most. We give our power over to human beings all the time and

need to be aware of that and stop. But when you give your power

over to your Demon, you are no longer in control of your life and

destiny derived of decisions made thereof. When you wake up

one morning and find yourself here, you need to take a personal

73

inventory of your life real quick. Where was I? Where am I?

Where do I want to go? Where do I need to go? Where can I find

people that understand and will listen to my crazy ass?

Well Lord, I think I’m going to have a little Tofu and call it

a night. Don’t laugh, our Father made me this way and I have

learned to exercise restraint. Many of my brothers have not and

will inflict avoidable pain on the helpless.

I would never laugh at you brother while you are trying

to explain to my children how we all think regardless of the

outer shields we put up. Our Father made us all in different

ways, but there are distinguishable traits that can be detected

early to determine proper treatment for these children and

their different Demons.

Well Good Night Lord, thanks for another sober day.

7/7/2010

Good Morning my God and Lord. Your humble servant humbly

request another sober day. Please don’t allow anything to

rattle me and tempt me to pick up my Demon alcohol.

I was just looking at the Crazy Chi Phi ‘81 pic that my fraternity

brother Keith Petroni posted to facebook. Wow, was I a duck

out of water. Still didn’t have anything figured out, but I was going

to be rich doing whatever it was I was to do. My dreams were

bigger than life. My dreams were introduced to my Demon alcohol

and it was on. I started doing things that I had never done. It

was almost instantaneous for me. I was a shy person and alcohol

seemed to make me the life of the party in my own mind. I was a

lot of fun for the first part of the evening, but the night would fall

and so would I. My Demon became my best friend and Master. I

took him everywhere I went and hid him from anyone that would

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tell me I’m on the wrong path. I became a master at serving my

Master alcohol.

I have served my Master alcohol by witnessing to my peers

with passion and zeal. My Lord and Savior helps me to battle

my Demon, does He deserve less passion and zeal as I gave my

Master alcohol? I think NOT!!!

I used to really get fulfillment helping others. I took a sense

of pride being a mentor. It’s a frustrating position to worry about

everyone. As time went by, I discovered that not everyone thinks

like me and my Demon was gaining strength. There came a time

after betrayal and awakening on my part that pushed me into my

prison of isolation searching for a new Master and continuing to

serve my greatest Master alcohol. I had lost my desire to help

my brother. Screw him is what I thought, all I need is this bottle

and God. That hasn’t been playing out to well for me brother. My

brother Jesus Christ came back for me and saved me. I know that

He would want me to do the same for my brother, so here brother,

take my hand and join us.

I was just chuckling about that bogus Minister in Australia

saying that he is one of the witnesses and spokesman for both.

LOL What an arrogant, betraying predator Demon of the vulnerable.

Who anointed you?

If I were King of the Forest, not Prince, Duke or Earle. I

would have the courage to tell you the truth.

 The Wizard of Oz

If I am one of the witnesses, I would want all my brothers and

sisters for the other. I would want the Good News to spread with

Laser Light Speed. Witness to all of your friends about the Love

that awaits you if you will just accept Him into your life and live

with a moral code that you believe your Father would approve of.

You will fall, that is a given. Ask for forgiveness, make restitu75

tion, sin no more and forgive yourself. Today is a new day, a new

day that can be blessed or cursed by your own free will while reacting

to your surroundings. Take an inventory of your surroundings.

Where was I? Where am I? Where do I want to be? Where

do I need to be? Who are all these people that keep me where I

don’t want to be? Who are all of these people in my head? It is

your frame of reference brother. You can only search your mind

for answers when you have supplied your brain with mistakes

and triumphs. What you learn from them will shape your frame

of reference for your entire life.

If I were Jesus Christ and ALL were my (2nd Wives), I would

be brokenhearted. I’m not my brother, but I have a broken heart.

A broken heart over my (2nd Wife). She has so much potential, but

she can not get past what others think of her. Shame keeps many

of us in bondage not realizing all that the Father calls us to do for

His Glory. Who am I to witness for the Glory of God anyway.

I’m a Leper and proud of it. Take your best shot you arrogant ass.

It’s not like I haven’t heard or lived it before.

As I stalk my (2nd Wife)’s pictures on facebook, I reflect on

how much I love her. How much pain I inflicted on her with my

instability. I don’t know why I want to bring that pain in my heart

by looking at these pics except to gain closure. “It is better to have

loved and lost, than to have never loved at all”. Yeah, whatever.

The pain is immense and the cure I chose was poison. I’m sorry

(2nd Wife). I made it very hard for you to love me.

I’m sorry (2nd Wives), our Father’s Plan made it difficult

for Me to explain and for you to understand. I am alive and

well in all of you that would listen to the Wonderful Counselor

I promised to send back.

Lord, how can one explain to another human being, that they

really have found their purpose for you?

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If your purpose is truly for Me, who’s approval do you

seek?

Damn, you’re good.

Do you ask your employer, what else can I do to make your

business thrive? I need for you to be successful so I can keep

this job while I seek my purpose for God. Or do you just fit in

collecting a check and do as little as you can get away with? Get

laid off and sit around collecting unemployment as long as your

empathetic employer can afford to pay it and is forced to pay it

due to government regulations. What does your heart tell you to

that quandary? Can you not even be honest with yourselves? Ask

your heart what the Father would approve of in your life.

Hey I have to pick a publishing date of this book. I didn’t really

pray about that for the first one and made a decision with out

guidance. Lord, I ask you. What date should this book claim as

it’s official publishing date?

You’re here for Mary? Mary left with Woogie to go to the

Prom an hour ago. LOL I’m just screwing with you. - There’s

something about Mary

FULFILL YOUR

DESTINY

TAKE YOUR PLACE

WITNESS

FOR THY

GOD

Cool, then 12/21/2012 it is. What the Hell this all means, I

don’t have a clue. Maybe it’s Worldwide Leper Day, where we

all confess our sins to our Father and to our brother and rejuvenate

our Love for one another. Maybe we take this day as a day

of reflection and consider how blessed we truly are, but we will

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only be complete if we can find our purpose by helping others

to find theirs. After all, “WE ARE FAMILY, I GOT ALL MY

BROTHERS AND SISTERS WITH ME”. Don’t judge me brothers

and sisters in Christ. I have but one Judge and that is the Father.

Please brother, plant seeds discreetly. I don’t want to avoid

you any longer, I love you. Your seeds will take root when I want

to begin harvesting. Pray that I don’t have to go to the pits of

Hell before I wake and plant your seeds. My field was flooded

with Vodka and not worthy of our Father’s seed. I am cleaning up

brother and so can you.

Climb that wall Siegar, you can do it. One step at a time - An

Officer and a Gentleman

Don’t be the sugar britches that has to slip behind the wall for

a booster shot of your Demon. Get your boost by helping Siegar

get over that wall. One day at a time.

To all Predators, I have been pretty hard on you and you deserve

it. It is not my place to Judge you. Your Judgment Day will

have a jury of your victims and only you may ask our Lord to be

your defense counselor. Be wise with your pleas of forgiveness,

for the Father knows your heart. He has seen it your whole life

and can hit replay anytime you lie. Good Luck Brother.

“I Love You, I’ll Kill You. But I’ll

Love You Forever” - Enigma

Oooooh, don’t you just love riddles. Let’s dissect this statement,

shall we? First let’s assume we can get past ourselves for

a moment and assume “I” is our Higher Power. Let’s say that we

know “Love”, but many of us do not. Who is “You”? Is it our

Fathers children or is it Jesus Christ? “I’ll” Hmmm... one could

say “I’ll” sounds slang for it’ll. One could make the correlation

between “I’ll” and Ill. An illness would kill us. “Kill”, our inevitable

death? Christ’s Death? Rob yourselves or someone else out

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of life? “You” same answer. “But”, I would say this means there

are options. “I’ll”, I see this as the Master you wish to serve.

“Love”, Let’s try praise and worship here. “You” same answer.

“Forever”, you will eternally live the life that you have chosen for

yourselves here on earth.

I can only speak for myself what this speaks to my heart.

My frame of reference is different from yours and I can insert

any type of interpretation that fits with my agenda, but I need a

smoke. BRB

K

Most songs deliver a message and we get to decide how we

want to receive it. The best are the ones that allow you to explore

your heart. There is no right or wrong answer to feelings, just

consequences.

I took time to pray about my answer Father and before I give

my answer, I have a quandary of all my Masters so I can conscionably

choose who I wish to serve. Please start you answer with;

“If I were your...”.

If I were your PEERS, I would pity you, I would kill your

dreams. But if you did discover something, I’d be first in line

with my hand out. Until that time comes, you will be the butt of

my joke because of my ignorance. And I will forever say “I told

you so”.

If I were your GOVERNMENT, I would note your outburst

and quickly conceal it. I would see if it conflicted with my own

agenda and publicly humiliate and intimidate you if it does. I

would see that you are thoroughly investigated. One might even

call it a shake down for dirt.

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If I were your DEMON, I would put a spell on you. I would

suppress God’s Gifts and demand you open Man’s. I would

omit intelligence to the ones I wish to rule. I would dictate your

thoughts, behaviors and decisions. I would lead you where you

are dying to go. I will promise you the same after life as the life

you have lived to the 666th degree.

If I were your JUDAS, I would attempt to teach you to learn

by your mistakes and the mistakes of others. I would tell you

about the torment serving the wrong God.

If I were your FATHER, I would love you like only a true

Father can to His son. I’ll allow you to kill yourself of your own

free will. I AM your only Judge and I AM Eternal...

If I were your Savior CHRIST, I’d shake my head in disgust

and I’d do it all over again for mankind. I’ll reach out to you and

cry when you don’t hear me. I AM my brother’s keeper and I Will

come back to take my Kingdom as I was promised.

If I were your WONDERFUL COUNSELOR, I’d patiently

wait until you could hear Me. I would challenge you to free yourself

from this Demon that calls you slave. I can not kill “IT”, “IT”

dwells within your heart. I can help you restrain “IT”. I can show

you a better World if you’ll allow Me into your heart where your

Demon lives.

If I were your humble SERVANT, I would want You to train

me the exact way that You did. I would want you to use me Lord,

for the benefit of another. I would never forget You saved me and

I would deliver your Gift “at all costs”. Then I would be thankful

for the punishment that You give me. A lifetime of servitude to

my Leper brothers and sisters in Christ. I will anonymously witness

to them and allow them to help me restrain my own Demons.

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Semi, you have disgraced yourself and you must be punished.

You will confine yourself to our Royal Suite at the Waldorf Astoria.

I want you to bathe him thoroughly and see that he gets some

decent attire.

Oh, Thank You Your Majesty – Coming to America

Hey, I’m headed for a work out and a meeting. BRB You

don’t have to keep saying “K” unless you want to “K”

K

LOL

Why don’t we have that kind of relationship with our Savior

– Jerry McGuire

I really couldn’t understand the topic tonight to well. A lot

of discussion about the third and forth step and I was clueless

to what they were. I asked my sponsor if I should be reading

through them and he said that I am right where I need to be. But

I’m impatient and I want to see now. So have a look with me in

the morning. Good Night God. Thanks for another sober day.

7/8/2010

Good Morning God, I’m sleeping better. Grant me another

sober day.

THE TWELVE STEP PROGRAM

1. We admitted we were powerless over our Demon and that

our lives had become unmanageable.

I publicly confess my weakness over my Demon.

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2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could

restore us to sanity.

I’m alive today because of my Lord and Savior.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the

care of God as we understood Him.

Ab-so-freakin-lutely

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Yep, done that.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being

the exact nature of our wrongs.

K...done that.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects

of character.

Sooooo......ready!!!

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Many times in prayer.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing

to make amends to them all.

K...I’ll do it.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except

when to do so would injure them or others.

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K...I’ll do it.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were

wrong promptly admitted it.

Daily

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our

conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only

for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Got an overload here, I pray I can do His Will.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these

Steps, we tried to carry this message to the Demon possessed, and

to practice these principles in all our affairs.

And I will try and continue where You left off. Now, got a

question for You. Once I complete all the twelve steps, can we

have a drink to celebrate? LOL

OF YOUR OWN

FREE WILL

Have you ever made a proclamation to a loved one that you

are only hurting yourself? I ask you this; if you hurt yourself,

who is to take care of you? You know I love you, so why do you

continue to hurt me by hurting yourself?

I was just reading a little of the Song of Songs by my brother

Solomon. His “Game” is a lot like mine, express what is on His

heart to the woman He Loves. Good thing He was King, cause

that method doesn’t seem to work worth a shit now. I don’t think

I will ever understand how a woman can be drawn to something

that is bad and not appreciate the good that is looking her straight

in the face. I guess it is the; I can have you at any time I want, so

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you’re not a challenge syndrome. It’s a lot like our Christ. You

can have Him anytime you want, but you prefer to chase the “Bad

Boys” and deny who can truly fulfill your life.

BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS

WHATCHA GONNA DO

WHATCHA GONNA DO

WHEN I COME FOR YOU

What is it with this Frankincense and Myrrh that would warrant

being mentioned repeatedly while romancing His love? So

much so for her to mention Him tending to His spice garden. You

know, I like spices, but I don’t bring to many to the bedroom unless

they can bring something to the bedroom.

No longer will anything be cursed. For the throne of God

and of the Lamb will be there, and His servants will worship

Him. - Revelations 22 : 3

Oh, I dig it now. It is just like the woman analogy. We want

what we can’t have. So we have suppressed man from what

comes from God and allow him to freely partake of what man

has created as many peoples poison to a life of self destruction.

That’s makes sense, can you throw in a couple of appetizers? Oh,

you did. Tobacco and Gambling. I just wanted to make sure I understood

the menu that you have prepared, as you have unleashed

a very Powerful Demon unto God’s children with no real tools

to equip themselves with. We are like lost sheep feeding on what

man has created for us to dull the senses of no purpose in life.

God’s tools have been suppressed and corruption has emerged. I

wonder if everything that man suppresses from man were readily

available, would man have restraint and if he can not, can another

man restrain him with love. The Love of a Brother in Christ.

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If “The Acts of Nathan the Prophet” are truly the last acts of

King David and King Solomon, I pray that I have done my Lord

proud. I pray Your book Father, will touch the lives of Lepers

and the loved ones that surround them. Please forgive me of my

inequities my Lord, I am a Leper just as my brothers and sisters

are. Please forgive us all of our sins and touch our hearts so that

we may attempt to be conscious of our decisions. The decisions

that can last an eternity. I pray my Faith in my Brother and in You

will be Eternal and we can all finally rest knowing our Father has

His Kingdom on Earth. Lord, we are sick and we need You to fix

us. As I attempt to do your Will to fix others, You are fixing me

Lord. Thanks for showing me how it is done.

You know, the more I think about it, I think I deserve two

wishes. I mean Damn, I didn’t know I was signing up for all of

this. I thought my purpose was to just deliver the Gift. I didn’t

know I had to take them on to raise. But I guess if there was no

one there to ever raise them, I would pray that you give me the

wisdom that my parents and God have blessed me with. A fellow

Leper brother mentioned being raised by alcoholics. A frame of

reference instilled at birth and reared by alcoholic parents can be

a difficult web to escape. Love your parents, but always respectfully

question authority and seek your purpose for God. He will

give you strength if you ask your heart to tell your brain to live a

Christ Like Life.

ASK

Alright, give me a sec......I pray that You grant Your children

a new direction for this planet. Our direction hasn’t worked out

to well. Let’s try God’s Direction. “Imagine Turning To God for

Change”, “Hollywood, doesn’t it just sing?” - Mannequin

DONE

Your Wish has been Granted - Big

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Miagi proud of you. When do God technique right, no can

defense - Karate Kid

Finally, told you so Dum Dum – Kazoo

I was just thinking what a great role the body of Christ could

play in this whole Master’s Plan. If they became God’s Health

Centers and had twelve step meetings for controlling all different

kinds of Demons, wouldn’t that be witnessing for You like You

so desire. To witness to the Lepers so you can control your own

leprosy. If only the body of Christ could heal God’s children, the

World would be a better place.

“IF ONLY” - You’ve Got Mail

What is the fate of Nathan the Prophet Lord?

What is the fate of Ophiuchus my Lord?

FAITH

HOPE

CHARITY

LOVE

FREE WILL

Yeah, I got “IT”, but will they? I know my purpose for You.

What is my fate Lord? What is my destiny?

ASK HEART

Damn, I just can’t seem to pin You down. You’re a tough

customer and I got You against the ropes. I just can’t seem to get

You to pull the trigger and commit.

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WELCOME

TO MY

KINGDOM

You know, I have got about as much chance of getting my

(2nd Wife) back as Christ has to get His. What’s up with that?

You know what I’m saying? If I concede and accept that I will

never have my (2nd Wife) back, then I must move on. Who does

Christ move on to when we won’t accept Him? Wait, step back

non-believer. I’m getting a vision. I can see it, a little smokey

but clearing. LOL I see a World destroyed by the Hand of Man

that could never understand that we are all brothers and sisters in

Christ and serve the same God. The God of Abraham. Will this

be the Kingdom that we will leave for our God? Our children?

Our neighbor? Our Country? Our Global brothers? Will this be

our Legacy? The Legacy of Mankind?

Maybe we should start over with the apes, nah, that didn’t

seem to work either. LOL Maybe the pests, can’t seem to ever get

rid of those bastards, but I don’t think they will give our Father

the enjoyment He gains watching us run around in the maze of

Life. I sure am praying we can continue, I’d like to try this World

again with a better understanding of the rules. Maybe a thousand

years like the original option on the contract . Since I know that

this is impossible for my lifetime, I better make the most of the

Life that I have left. Thank God, I get to live another day. Another

day of sobriety and one day closer to fulfilling my purpose. I’m

so tired Lord. I can’t leave Your World like this, not knowing

what I know. Please give me the Wisdom of King Solomon and

Strength of King David to deliver your Gracious Gift to Mankind.

I already have the heart of Tinman and You have mine.

You know, you may not like Glenn Beck. But I like his passion

of exposing the truth and willing to substantiate his claims

to anyone that would challenge them. I’m right there with you

brother. I can find no one that can rebuke my interpretation of the

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Seven Sealed, Two-Sided Scroll in the right hand of Him who sits

on the Throne.

I’m not feeling it tonight Lord. Think I’ll watch a little news

and get riled up again. Good Night if we don’t talk anymore

tonight. I love you Lord and I thank you for another sober day.

7/9/2010

Good Morning God. Please grant me another sober day. I’m

growing impatient as I always do. This would be about the time

that I would screw anything that I am involved with up. I don’t

know exactly what it is that I’m looking for and I don’t know if I

can be content when I get there. My mind moves from one thing

to the next, will I ever get to rest? It’s a bitch carrying around a

Gift from God. A Gift that is arcane and being delivered by a Leper.

Let me ask you something Lord, are you making deals with

the Devil? Or is that just Pat? LOL Because it sure sounds like

the stakes for a bet. Kind of like you did with Job, the patience of

Job. There’s my answer folks. I may not like it, but it is an answer.

I can always go and shovel shit at my once beautiful beach and I

am not above doing what I have to do to support my family. It’s

just right now, I have educated myself to be able to use my brain

instead of my back for financial support and my Lord has blessed

me. He has afforded me the time to fulfill my purpose for Him

and I pray that I do just that.

I used to ride around and look at houses and wonder, how

the hell do people afford all that? I just didn’t realize that many

people are living way beyond their financial means. Now that I

know, I don’t envy them anymore. I know that financial nightmare

all to well.

Good Night Father, I’m a little tired. Thanks for another sober day.

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7/10/2010

Good Afternoon God, grant me a sober day. I had to run and

meet with my twelve step sponsor and have a meeting with the

group this morning. So here I am procrastinating about writing

because I’m tired. As I lie in my bed trying to take a nap, the Holy

Spirit keeps putting thoughts on my heart. These thoughts are

things that are a part of my frame of reference and many people

have not been privy to a higher state of actualization. I must share

this thought before I store it back into my subconscious.

Affirmations and 30 day chip.

I will be on my cruise with my son and his friend when I hit

my 30 day point of sobriety. So I will prepare my speech now.

Anyone have 30 days of Sobriety?

I do.

Clap, Clap, Clap...

I’d like to thank my Father and Creator, my Lord and Savior

and my Wonderful Counselor and Guide. I’d also like to thank

my Leper brothers and sisters in Christ, for if it were not for

you sharing your own stories that relate to mine, I am not sure I

would know my purpose for God. I didn’t know the rules of the

game called Life. I’ve spent my lifetime establishing the boundaries

and suffering from the consequences. I mean really, how

many times do I need to be shocked before I realize my Demons

are robbing me of my life? My brother, I went searching for my

purpose and I didn’t have a clue how to do it. I was like a rat in a

maze always packing my Demon for the trip. Man did I slam into

some dead ends, but I never broke my bottle. Maybe if I had broken

the bottle and gotten cut, I could have recognized it earlier?

Probably not, that was a good Demon that enabled me to clear

my conscious and rest my mind. It was my medicine. I justified

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my Demon to God. My Lord, I would say, I just seem to connect

better with You when I’m drunk. And He would say, c’mon, I’ll

take you anyway I can get you. So I went with what was on my

heart and not really giving a rats ass what anyone thought. I let

Him bring me through my past. I let Him show me the present.

He revealed to me what needs to be done to change the future.

Gods Last Will and Testament. I kept thinking that I was done and

my purpose was fulfilled. He kept guiding me with thoughts and

gave me the time to think them through. He blocked my path and

showed me another. A path of anonymity that would allow me to

do what I so desperately want and have to do, if I want to praise

and witness for Him and keep my sobriety at the same time. He

put quite a bit on my plate and I want it off.

“TO DO”

1. Fix Global Financial problems by re-instating Birthrights.

2. Bring World Peace to the Three Brothers.

3. Give a modern day sociological perspective of God, that

will enable the children of God to better equip themselves

for the challenges of their own Demons as they

allow them to enter into their hearts via any orifice.

4. Teach them how to pray.

5. Teach them how to listen with their heart.

6. Teach them how to develop a Godly frame of reference.

7. Teach them how to recognize 666.

8. Teach them how to Love one another and discover

their purpose for God.

9. Teach them how to discover one anothers needs and

level of importance.

10. Teach them Empathy.

11. Teach them about their omitted studies.

12. Teach them to Love your Brothers and Sisters as you

Love Me.

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13. Seek your new name in Christ and become what you

so desperately want to emulate for our Father’s Glory.

I AM...

Etcetera...Etcetera...Etcetera...

Pfffftttttt......is that all? You hired a salesman brother, I can

do “IT”. Psssssst....Holy Shit brother, how am I going to do “IT”.

I’m not Superman, I’m a Leper.

I ask you my Brother and Sister in Christ, if you truly, truly,

truly felt that the Holy Spirit had given you a Gift that would

save Mankind from self destruction and no one could rebuke your

theory, how would you get that message out? You can armchair

quarterback me all you want. Hell, I just got drunk and started

writing. I vented all my frustrations and I may have even pissed

you off. The drunk in me would have said something like, the

truth hurts you worthless piece of shit bastard. The new and improved

Godly me would say:

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

I DO CARE

BECAUSE I’LL HAVE TO CARRY YOU

I MUST CARE

I pray that you are not given a similar “to do” list to buy

your way into heaven. This is just mine, and Christ and I seem

to have a very similar agenda. I’m not real sure who was first, I

wanted my (2nd Wife) back so I expressed everything on my heart

before I am to “Pass”. Our Christ was not given that luxury and

His brothers robbed Him of continuing His ministry. The Living

Word has been interpreted many ways over the centuries to coincide

with mans agenda and frame of reference. Our Lord and

Savior wants us all back, we are all His (2nd Wives) and He is our

Bridegroom. What will it take to settle our monkey asses down

and live a peaceful existence? I will not answer that one, because

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I might just get what I ask for taken out of context. I think I will

just send Him a text.

Lord,

I’m doing all in my power to deliver your Gift. I would have

to say the Demons have got a clear cut advantage over your children.

Just as my Demons have kept me in the darkness, the darkness

masks the Light of the Son. I Will plant your seed Lord, “at

all costs” and “IT” will be on your children whether “IT” falls on

fertile soil. Let Your Last Will and Testament Be Done.

 your humble servant Nathan

Hey, I know it don’t really make a shit to anyone else but You

and me, but should I start referring to myself as Ophiuchus or is

that just reserved for heart to hearts?

I think I’ll answer for myself this time Lord, interject anytime

though. You have already caught me in this quandary. You said,

if my purpose was truly for You, who’s approval do I seek? I

was immediately drawn to the obvious answer and that would be

You, of course. Upon further evaluation, I would say that once I

have done a thorough inventory of my life, I could choose a name

worthy of my purpose for Christ and do everything to emulate my

hero for the Glory of God. So man, if you want to tell me what

your new name in Christ is, tell me with your actions first and I’ll

tell you if your name suits you. That is if you are allowing me to

be your judge, I will gladly do so. I say your name is 666. If you

say different, don’t tell me, tell Him. Some things are just better

left private with your God, you never know when you may want

to change the direction your life is headed and a new name in

Christ is more fitting for your heart. Hell, I’ve had lots of names

given to me. Let’s see there’s Nathan, worthless sperm donor,

crazy manic fuck, etc...but I got to choose my own name in Christ

and now I get to choose to allow Christ to help me to emulate who

I want to become for His Glory.

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Oh man, I got so far away from affirmations, I almost forgot

to tell you about them. As you write about things, write about

them in a manner as if they had already happened. I guess my acceptance

speech ran a little long. LOL I’m just so happy to have

made it 30 days without a drink. Do you get it? Write out what

you want to become and emulate “IT” to become “IT”.

DEEP

LOL, I thought you’d like that. Just some tools I picked up

along the way as I sought to find my purpose for God.

HEAVY

He ‘aint Heavy, He’s my brother. Take Your Place Lord.

Guide our hearts to build Your Kingdom here on earth as it is in

Heaven before We Pass.

I wanted this first chapter to be my reflections of my first 30

days of sobriety. I have to draw a line to stop sharing what I know.

I am looking for peace in my life and I am hanging on by a thread

myself. I’m picking up my son tomorrow and will have to make

adjustments to my lifestyle. I will share when I can and when I

get back from the cruise, I will share more. When my son goes

home to his mother, I want to finish this. I will turn up the heat on

my determination to get God’s Gift heard. Then I will vanish into

anonymity to witness for God until He wishes to take me Home.

I just thought of a whole lot more that should be on that “To

Do” list. Like establish Your Kingdom by laying the first brick to

building Gods Legacy Trust LLC. You put too much on me Lord.

I Will do the best I can to make You proud to call me Son.

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7/11/2010

Good Morning God. I’m headed to pick up Austin this morning,

I’m very excited to see him. We’ll talk later.

I don’t know what I’m thinking tonight Lord. I can not seem

to get that sense of balance of how things in my life should be.

You’ve blessed me with so much and I still am in unrest. I know

you have reminded me repeatedly about the fact that I am not done

with my purpose and I never will be, so enjoy the ride while you

live. I am going to try to do that Lord, but I am very uneasy and

cautious now. I don’t want to slip into paranoia, but I am so sick

of seeing the self-centeredness of my brothers and sisters. I’m sick

with myself as I personally give myself an inventory of my actions

in my life. How self-centered I have been with my own thoughts.

Sometimes you just can’t see it in yourselves and someone has to

point it out to you and this will normally piss you off.

Not feeling it tonight Lord, check you in the morning. Thanks

for another sober day. You’re the Greatest God that has ever been

and ever will be.

7/12/2010

Good Morning God. Please grant me another sober day. Today

is three weeks since my last drink. Hooray for me and thanks

to You and my Leper friends. As I sit here pondering what to do

today, I am reminded how I haven’t really passed anything along

to my son. Every time I want to talk to him about the ways of the

World, he shuts me down. Our children have their own mentors

and they come from the Media and friends. It’s no wonder the

wisdom of past generations is slowly dying off as it has done

throughout history. What is the new frame of reference that is

being instilled into our future generations subconscious? I do not

see it as a Godly frame of reference. I see it as a “ALL ABOUT

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ME” generation, the only thing that has changed from generation

to generation is God being chipped from our lives and frame of

reference. Imagine, the Greatest counselor to have ever lived and

His words have been manipulated and we are suffering the consequences

right now as we speak. Good news, there is still time.

But time is getting very short and we must act quickly.

Lord, I will finish this soon and I will continue to spread the

“Good News”. I pray that your children will accept your Gift. It

will be very difficult to maintain composure if I am not heard. I

have answered your inquiry about when I am done. I know that

I am never done, but I must get what I have to say off my heart.

I understand the unrest that King David and King Solomon must

feel if they are able to look down upon us. I have heard their

cheers and felt their heads shaking with disgust over my performance

and the performance of all of God’s children. I hear my

Leper brothers scream back, turn around it’s a dead end. I hear my

ancestors screaming to me, Endeavor to Persevere. How would I

answer your question Lord? Did you do everything in your power

to deliver My Gift? I am trying to do all in my power Lord, but

I’m fearful of how I will be able to live with myself if this Message

is not heard. I’ve thought about mailing the books with a

note. “This is Not a Bomb”, but they will blow your ass away.

How do we get people to listen? How do we get noticed? Is

what we are offering, Glorify God or ourselves? Maybe Austin

will go on a Hot Air Balloon ride and I could call the authorities

and tell them we have another run away balloon with a child in

it. I have to wonder how many times the authorities would give

their all after being duped by a hoax. Peter cried wolf, it’s a great

story of why you should not hit the panic button unless it truly is

an emergency. If you didn’t get cheese on your burger, it’s not a

big deal. Don’t call 911 you dumb ass.

Hebrews 10:38 (NKJV) Now the just shall live by faith;

But if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him.”

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Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV) Now faith is the substance of things

hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Romans 8:24 (NKJV) For we were saved in this hope, but

hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for

what he sees?

Hebrews 3:14 (NKJV) For we have become partakers of

Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to

the end.

Hebrews 11:3 (NKJV) By faith we understand that the

worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things

which are seen were not made of things which are visible.

Colossians 1:16 (NKJV) For by Him all things were created

that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and

invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or

powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.

Hebrews 9:26 (NKJV) He then would have had to suffer

often since the foundation of the world; (kosmos) but now,

once at the end of the ages (aion), He has appeared to put

away sin by the sacrifice of Himself.

Matthew 12:32 (NKJV) Anyone who speaks a word

against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever

speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him,

either in this age or in the age to come.

Ephesians 1:21 (NKJV) far above all principality and

power and might and dominion, and every name that is

named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come.

Hebrews 11:4 (NKJV) By faith Abel offered to God a more

excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained wit96

ness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts; and

through it he being dead still speaks.

Genesis 4:1-7 (NKJV) Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and

she conceived and bore Cain, and said, “I have acquired a

man from the LORD.” 2 Then she bore again, this time his

brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was

a tiller of the ground. 3 And in the process of time it came to

pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground

to the LORD. 4 Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock

and of their fat. And the LORD respected Abel and his offering,

5 but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain

was very angry, and his countenance fell. 6 So the LORD said

to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance

fallen? 7 “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you

do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you,

but you should rule over it.”

Genesis 4:3 (NKJV) And in the process of time it came to

pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground

to the LORD.

John 14:6 (NKJV) Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the

truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through

Me.

Acts 4:12 (NKJV) “Nor is there salvation in any other, for

there is no other name under heaven given among men by

which we must be saved.”

Hebrews 11:5 (NKJV) By faith Enoch was taken away so

that he did not see death, “and was not found, because God

had taken him”; for before he was taken he had this testimony,

that he pleased God.

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John 3:13 (NKJV) “No one has ascended to heaven but

He who came down from heaven, that is, the Son of Man who

is in heaven.

Hebrews 11:6 (NKJV) But without faith it is impossible to

please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is,

and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

2 Chronicles 20: 20 So they rose early in the morning and

went out into the Wilderness of Tekoa; and as they went out,

Jehoshaphat stood and said, “Hear me, O Judah and you inhabitants

of Jerusalem: Believe in the LORD your God, and

you shall be established; believe His prophets, and you shall

prosper.”

Psalms 9:10 (NKJV) And those who know Your name will

put their trust in You; For You, LORD, have not forsaken

those who seek You.

I’m counting on You Lord, because I look like a damn fool

to my peers. But it is Your approval that I seek. I pray that you

allow the Holy Spirit to guide my path and that it is a path that

all my brothers and sisters in Christ may “PASS” through to You.

It is through You that we reach the Father and the Heaven He

promised.

If I were a speculator, which I am. I would say that based on

John 3 : 13 I have a cheering squad in Christ. He’s the only one

in Heaven with the Father and He beckons to me and all that

can hear with their hearts. I WILL...have my promised Kingdom.

Your ancestors are not in Heaven. They await for you to fulfill

your purpose for God, so that you all may join Him.

Good Night God. Thanks for another sober day.

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7/13/2010

Good Morning God. Please grant me a sober day. I took my

son and two of his friends to the river today. I had plenty of words

of wisdom racing through my mind, but I know that unless I approach

it right, it will fall on deaf ears. It seems that it is very

difficult for a parent to reach a child when there are other mentors

in their life. Sometimes it is just better received from another authority

figure. Dorothy could have told the scarecrow that he had

brains, but it took the Wizard of Oz to instill into the scarecrow

that he had brains if he would just use them. An authority figure

encouraged a needy person to aspire for more. An authority figure

can be anyone that has been there and done that and can honestly

tell another human being what their own experience has been

like. I don’t need for you to tell me how screwed up my life is, I

already know that. Tell me about how screwed up your life was

and how you were able to achieve recovery.

Tonight’s meeting was kind of cool. A newcomer was there

and she got most of the focus, even though she was there because

of a court order. I witnessed my Leper brothers and even one that

never shares, elaborate their stories that hopefully will resonate in

an questionably open mind. I know my first week, I really didn’t

hear shit. I was more interested in being heard and continuing with

my purpose for God. Once I started really listening to my Lepers

friends, I started to realize that they all had some kind of awakening.

One man had confessed that he had been in and out of twelve

step program for years and was on his last chance. I could hear

his heart and it was in a complete state of confusion. I decided to

share tonight. I spoke of how I am able to hear with my heart. I

told them I put out a question in my mind for all of my alter egos

to make a decision on. After carefully listening to all of the egos,

I make a decision knowing what the consequences could be. Listening

to your heart is just that easy. Understand, your frame of

reference will only shed light on the decision at hand. If you have

not exposed yourself to all possible consequences because they

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may not be in your frame of reference, you’ll probably make a

mistake. If you make a mistake, learn from it and put that lesson

in your subconscious frame of reference for the next time a similar

decision is to be made.

My friend Darren from Auburn University called me today.

He asked if I had seen the Glenn Beck show. It was about the

Black Panthers, you know, the ones that Forrest interrupted their

Party fighting. I can honestly say that I have been a racist, ignorant

bastard for much of my life. I searched for the personality

that I wanted to emulate. Unfortunately, I was surrounded by racist

growing up. It really doesn’t matter what the color of your skin

is, you will either aspire to make the system better or try and tear

it down. If you take on the persona of another that is racist, you

continue to be the catalyst that keeps this country divided over

race. I’m sick of it, I’m so over it. We have shown as a Nation

that we are over it. Sure, there will continue to be racism as long

as our profiteer brother continue stirring shit over it and get paid

to do it. You may have to deal with racism for a while longer. I

have been told it will take three more generations to fully wipe it

out of our frame of reference. If it is so easy to grow God out of

our lives, why can’t we out grow racism?

BROTHER OF COLOR

BROTHER OF ANOTHER MOTHER

BROTHER OF ONE FATHER

KEEPER OF THY BROTHER

ASSASIN OF THY BROTHER

FREE WILL

I’d rather you just talk to me straight up, but I will try and

decipher. These enigmas are cool though, I think they can take

on a personal meaning to everyone depending on the battles that

wage in their minds. Let’s see....we are all of “Color”. We were

all brought into this World by different “Mother’s”. We are all

brothers and sisters in Christ to one “Father”. Of our “own free

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will”, we get to decide if we will “inspire” our brothers and sisters

or “decimate” them.

If you are feeling a void in your life, it is the void of not really

accomplishing anything that will make a difference before

you “Pass”. I promise you, if you will attempt to inspire God’s

children, you will find your purpose in Life and receive the blessing

of fulfillment from the Father. You just will not know how

many lives that are actually being touched by you when you live a

Christ filled life. It can not be contained, it will radiate off of you

through your smile and kind words. Your words can “inspire” or

“decimate” the dreams of inspirational minds. It will be difficult

to be cognoscente of your own words if they are not true in your

heart. It is good to speak your beliefs, but understand that your

beliefs have been built by what you have been exposed to. Once

religious beliefs are locked into our heads, it can be very hard to

see another interpretation of the “TRUTH”.

Everyone seems to have their own version of “IT”. I ask you

this, by who’s authority, gives you authority, to be my authority,

when my authority, tells me to seek my authority and my authority

is not a man, but a Man God that spoke with authority, an

authority given unto Him by the Father until His life was taken

by the authority, this is documented by good authority and the

authority continues to pervert the authority, for the authority is

yet to be the authority as the authority of our World. Say that three

times real fast. LOL

SO WHO’S

“YO DADDY”

“Behold, the only thing greater than yourself” - Roots

And the struggle of Life begins. This statement elevates Man

to be greater than God. Unfortunately, man is about himself until

he is humbled by God.

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Let’s call it a night Bro. Thanks for another sober day.

NIGHT

WELL COME

7/14/2010

Good Morning God. Please grant me a sober day. I went to

a great small twelve step meeting today. The topic was insanity.

Everyone’s stories emulated things that I had done myself. The

question one has to ask oneself is, how long do I allow the insanity

to rule my life? I’m not going to bore you with all of my stories

of my drunkenness, you will see that in the rest of the book.

You do need to hear these stories if you want to hear “turn around,

go back it’s a dead end”. What I’m telling you is, my stories are

the same as my Leper friends stories with one exception. I was

given a Gift and it has kept me from sobriety and now I use “IT”

to gain sobriety. I have a special purpose for my Creator. How can

I possibly imagine being drunk with the weight of the World on

my shoulders? I want it the Hell off as soon as possible.

I see everyone is piling on Mel Gibson these days. What a

shame to watch alcoholism claim yet another big prize for Satan.

As a prophet of God, we saw his passion for Christ. As a

man tempted by his Demons, we see him as a poor witness for

the Lord. I see him as a man that struggles with Demons just as

we all do. I will pray for him. Lord, please give Mr. Gibson the

strength to challenge his Demons with your help. He has been

such a trumpet for you Lord, please pick him up from the mire

and mold him into the witness that you had intended for his life.

He is a great Godly man that has fallen victim to the Demons

implanted in our society by mankind. I say; Ye without Sin, Cast

the first Stone.

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I can not believe how you have come into my life just at the

right time to fulfill my purpose for You. We are begging for a new

direction in Christ. I’m feeling more and more confident about

being able to deliver Your Gift Lord. Your children are sooooo.....

ripe with sin. I sure hope the sword You pulled out of my mouth

was sharp enough for the harvest. The Truth Hurts and we can

justify any belief we want to determine our truth. We will argue

you down to convince you that our truth is the Divine Truth. So

if you want to go to Heaven, you better do “IT” our way. I tell

you the truth, it is a personal relationship that you must have with

Christ and you take personal accountability for your actions for

our Fathers approval. Many are so quick to take their frame of

reference and tell me how I am suppose to believe in my creator.

It is not a big challenge to manipulate God’s Word to fit ones

agenda. The only real truth to me is my interpretation of God’s

Truth. I have done my own research and I will be the only one to

be Judged when my time comes. I don’t want to say to my Lord, I

didn’t want to take the time to understand you Lord. I took a short

cut by listening to Your supposed messengers and didn’t educate

myself to seek what it is that I am here for. I filled that void in

my heart quite well with my Demons. I was on earth to get mine

and I didn’t really give a damn who I had to crush to get “IT”.

But, I went to church on Sunday occasionally and I always put a

little in the kitty. I told people that I believe that You died for my

sins on the cross and arose in three days. So since I have made

this proclamation, shouldn’t I be allowed in Heaven? There is no

“I” in team or brotherhood. When is the last time you truly did

something nice for someone else anonymously? Do you truly feel

blessed to give and humbled to receive? Who’s approval do you

seek when you make your daily decisions? Are your decisions

Christ Like or Anti-Christ Like?

Good Night Lord. Thanks for another Sober day.

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7/15/2010

Good Morning God. Please grant me another sober day.

It still bothers me that my (2nd Wife) thinks I’m crazy. This is

what I sent her this morning after a few pleasant emails.

(2nd Wife), I am fulfilling prophecy. I have done a tremendous

amount of research. You will witness a battle of good and evil,

but it will not come as expected. It is allowing Christ into your

heart and asking for His guidance as you battle your own demons

in your life. This book shows the whole process for me battling

my demon alcohol and how I allowed Christ to save me with

recovery. It is a battle plan that others can follow as they equip

themselves to conquer their own demon. LOL Christ and I had

many drunken chats about everything that was bothering me in

this world. I’m not drunk or crazy, I am doing what I am compelled

to do. If I were not convinced about my purpose for God, I

would never subject myself to this much humiliation. So I guess

that pretty much sums up what has be going on in my mind. I’ll

send you a copy of the new book if you would like one. Did you

read the first one?

I show how I came to have a personal relationship with Jesus

Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Guess I am fixing to go to the folks house this afternoon with

Austin. We will play the board game Risk for hours. Austin loves

World Domination. But who doesn’t, there are a lot of kooks out

there ruling Nations. I may even take this opportunity to reintroduce

Austin to “Cashflow 101” so I can continue his financial

education. I’m going to spend the night there Lord, so I’ll check

in when I get back. Please don’t plummet my heart with more

thoughts, I won’t be able to remember them and share them with

your children. I so want to please you Lord, I don’t want to miss

a thing you want me to tell them.

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CHILD TIME

IS

GOD TIME

Before I leave I was just thinking this in the shower. Glenn

Beck has been stereotyping dope smoking hippies as Radicals.

When did the alcoholic become the pot smoker’s judge? I think I

will send him another email that I know he won’t get.

Subject: Alcoholic Stereotypes Hippie as Radical?

Dear Glenn,

I’m a huge fan. Are you saying that all “Dope Smoking Hippies”

are Radicals? When did the alcoholic become the judge for

the pot smoker? I pray for your success and hope your Demon

doesn’t cause you to stumble, but you know it is always there.

Please refrain from making a correlation between “Dope Smoking

Hippies” and Radicals, you just don’t have a clue how much

of an audience you will lose. Keep up the great work.

Ophiuchus

Gulf Shores, Al

http://godslegacytrust.blogspot.com

7/17/2010

Good Morning God. Please grant me another sober day. Lord,

you are putting more on my heart than I can remember to write

down. Slow down please. “Nanny, Nanny, Poo, Poo” I have a personal

relationship with Christ and you don’t. Good News Brother,

you can have this also if you will allow the Holy Spirit to enter

your hearts and use Him as your Counselor to make your decisions

Christ Like.

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Lord, today is the big day. We are leaving out of Mobile, Al.

on a Fun Ship. There will be half naked women and blue frozen

drinks with fruit and umbrellas in them. A proverbial smorgasbord

of temptations. How will I be able to restrain my Demon

when my Demon is so appealing? How did King David as a lad,

muster the courage of faith to face His Goliath? His Demon that

would call Him Slave, His Demon that He would call Master. The

Demon that would control all of His days if He allows himself

to be consumed. My sponsor is right, this is crazy to face my

Demons ill prepared. My sponsor doesn’t understand that I am

prepared and I want the fast track of recovery, for my time to deliver

His Gift is running out with the sands of time and these are

the “days of our lives”.

I will put my faith in you Lord. When my Demon screams

noises of Ecstasy that await me, I will weigh out the consequences

and make my decision of my own free will. If my Demon raises

so much Hell with me I can not stand it any longer, I will turn my

Demon over to You. I will write out a permission slip from my

Demon and I will get my Father to sign it on my heart. If I can

convince You Lord that I can handle “IT” by myself, my Demon

has already won and I might as well shoot myself and decrease

the surplus population. But that would be the route of Judas, an

after life torment that only He can articulate.Lord, I’m not sure I

know how to have a good time anymore. All my perceived good

times always revolved around my Demon. How will I slow my

mind without self medication? How will I re-emerge into society?

How will I overcome my insecurities? How can I not be so

judgmental? How can I relieve myself of being in charge?

GIVE “IT”

TO ME

“IT” IS

PAID FOR

PRAY

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I can do this. Let’s bring the whole gang on this trip by not

bringing the gang. Call me crazy (many do), but I want to get

rid of the smokes too. Fix me Lord. Let me think through all my

Demons and the losses that they have caused in my life. I will be

thinking about (2nd Wife) a lot on this trip, we had cruised three

times in the past. So this not so “Fun Ship” will include: 1. No

Alcohol 2. No Smokes 3. Lost Love 4. No Gambling 5. A Son

that is embarrassed to be seen with me 6. Books to read and a

God to serve

Or of my own free will, this “Fun Ship” will include: 1. Great

Food 2. New Friends 3. Ambiance of God’s Beautiful Creation 4.

Peace of Mind 5. Memories of a new bond with my Son 6. Books

to read and a Great God to serve

I can have any type vacation I want. It is up to me to determine

whether it will be a shitty time or a great time. Think about

that for a moment. When I was drinking, I turned the time shitty.

When I wasn’t drinking, I turned the time shitty because I wasn’t

drinking. Please forgive me Lord, I was an ass when I wasn’t an

ass, I was an ass because I wanted to be an ass. I was an ass when

I became an ass. I am an ass when I become an ass.

Speaking of ass, I kicked some ass yesterday playing “Risk”.

I allowed Dad and Austin to battle it out as I stayed quietly on

the sidelines, not being confrontational and I watched them deplete

and thin out their troops. I built my armies and waited for

the opportune time to attack. They were so completely absorbed

into their own agendas that they didn’t notice me carrying out my

mission. When they were at there weakest, I attacked quick and

calculated. They weren’t expecting what conquered them. I AM...

World Domination. LOL

I believe my Nation, the Beacon for other Nations to emulate,

is at it’s all time weakest that I have seen in my lifetime. I already

feel as if I had ascended to the Heavens and sit with the Father

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and the Son, we watch to see who you will serve. A Master of men

will arise before the fall, and you will serve him passionately.

Your Master is your Demon and the Demon in your brother. My

Master is our Loving Father, Christ is my brother and the Holy

Spirit is my “Wonderful Counselor”. These are my Master’s that I

report to now. I am their humble servant and not a slave to my Demons.

You can believe whatever you want, this is what I believe.

I believe Christ came back for me and Saved me from the path of

self destruction. Just as the guard that had his ear sliced off from

the blade of Peter was reattached by Christ, Christ reattached me

with reality and saved me. I will not just sit here in amazement. I

will witness for Christ for what He has done for me. I will have

a purpose for God to help my brother and sister in Christ battle

their own Demons.

Lord, I have no idea how I got here, but I’ve got to pack for

the cruise. Whoo Hoo, I think I’ll make it a good one. I’ll be back

and forth K...

TIME

THINK

PRAY

FEEL

QUESTION

SEEK

DECIDE

I get to decide how this trip will turn out. I get to decide if

I allow something to knock me off my game and be seduced by

my Demon. Lord, can I get my Mo Jo back without my Demon?

Brother, did you ever have Mo Jo? How can you get back

what you have never had?

I never had you in my heart Lord. I didn’t understand how

to invite you really. Yeah, I heard all that shit from people that I

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didn’t know for real. As it has been for me in everything in my

life, I have had to have my nose rubbed in it for me to accept it.

I know You and I know my Demon. It is my own free will that I

choose my destiny.

Just ironing my golf shirt and it reminded me of playing a

round with an acquaintance. He would get real pissed off when

he didn’t hit well. Club throwing pissed. I suck and know I suck,

cause I’m sucking on a brew. I watched a better sober golfer

come to him and say; Why are you getting all pissed off, have

you invested into yourself to improve your game? If you have

not invested in yourself, who do you have to get pissed at? Your

Brother? Here brother, let me help you by not giving you a damn

thing but guidance to improving your game. Will you accept my

hand in friendship and let me help you? By me helping you improve

your game, I may improve mine as well.

Well, I guess I better get focused on the boys and make sure

we have everything we need for the trip. Please be with me Lord.

I will need Your guidance and the help from my Leper Brothers

and Sisters. I’m suppose to look for friends of Bill W’s. LOL

Cool.

BON VOYAGE

Be Back Thursday, but You will always be on my mind. You

are my Best Friend.

7/22/2010

Good Afternoon God, I’m still sober. I have so much to tell

You, but first let me tell You what was on my facebook page when

I got home.

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I had an agnostic question the relevance of my photo to God.

This is how I answered:

It is one of the many signs that I found as I searched for my

purpose for God. It is my zodiac sign and the 13th sign that is real,

but not in traditional zodiac literature. Ophiuchus is the God of

Medicine and by establishing our Father His Everlasting, Earthly

Entity “Gods Legacy Trust LLC”, He may dwell among us and

heal the sick for free. His Earthly Kingdom will have to built

with the bricks of Mankind. Ophiuchus is also my new name in

Christ. I am almost finished with my second book, “The Acts of

Nathan the Prophet” (A Documented Lost Book of a Prophetic

Bible) due out Oct. 2010 and “Gods Last Will and Testament” is

already available on amazon.com. Which is my interpretation of

the Seven Sealed, Two-Sided Scroll. (Rev 5 : 1 - 5). I am however

at a standstill in creating the Websites. I have already extended

$3000.00 to a designer and “my will” has been blocked by hiring

a mercenary without the Passion for the job. My purpose is to deliver

His Gift, not to build it. I do not possess the talents required

to do so and besides, I don’t want to rob someone of their own

opportunity to fulfill their purpose for God. Did you ever wonder

why so much emphasis was put on “Birthrights”? Esau sold his

for a bowl of soup to his brother Jacob. Legacywillandtrust.com

will enable everyone to establish themselves their own personal

Legacy and thus re-instate birthrights and will be the Salvation of

Mankind. You can check out my concept website at http://legacywillandtrust.

com/ and check out my blog which is the preface and

first chapter of my second book. http://godslegacytrust.blogspot.

com/ The last six years of my life have been filled with loss and

triumph and I have documented the journey the whole way. So if

you are interested in the solutions to the World’s Largest Riddles,

you might want to check it out. Riddles like of course the biggest

one, what is written on the Scroll that John has pleaded for someone

to decipher, but no one could even look inside. Would you

like to know what exactly 666 means? It is not what you might

think. Or how about the answer to who the Two Witnesses of

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Revelations are? Sir Isaac Newton and Michel Nostradamus had

scientific perspectives of God, “The Acts of Nathan the Prophet”

is a sociological perspective. I warn you, be prepared to read a

lot. Through my personal relationship with Jesus Christ our Lord

and Savior, He touched my heart and taught me to listen to the

“Wonderful Counselor” aka The Holy Spirit that He promised

to send back. I am a sinner brother and didn’t come to know the

Lord until 2004. You will witness a battle as prophesied, just not

what Hypocritical Christian Fundamentalist are expecting. It is a

battle with my Demon Alcohol and how my Lord helped me to

recovery. We all have our Demons, I just show you how the Lord

came into my life and saved me. I pray people can emulate my

experience to their own demonic battles and allow Christ into

their hearts to take over the fight. What type of a Witness for our

Lord would I be if I didn’t share my experience and God’s Gift.

Do you remember the soldier that Peter cut off his ear and Jesus

reattached it to the man’s head? A Silent Saved Witness, I Am

Not. I Will Deliver His Gift “at all costs”.

The Prophet Nathan/Ophiuchus - a humble servant of the

Lord

Anyway, I thought it was pretty cool the way You inspired me

to Witness for You to an agnostic and hopefully bring him to You.

I’ll keep you posted.

I got a little side tracked tonight defending myself about You

Lord. Can we call it a night, I promise to put on paper what You

have put on my heart. This is going to be a great topic for tomorrow.

How does an alcoholic discipline/educate a 14 soon to be 15

yr old about alcoholism without alienating himself and watching

his son pursue the same path that cost me 30 years of my life and

a continual teetering balance of sobriety?

Thanks for giving me purpose Lord, it kept me sober knowing

that I would not be an acceptable witness for You if I allowed

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myself to be controlled and be a slave to my Demons. Wow, were

the temptations grand. Half naked women and frozen drinks with

umbrellas being shoved in my faced repeatedly. My two biggest

Demons, Booze and Booty.

Good Night Lord, it is good to be home. Sometimes the best

part of a trip is just getting home. I think everyone can agree with

that one and we don’t have to raise taxes or launch any grenades.

We can just agree or agree to disagree.

7/23/2010

Good Morning God. Please bless me with another sober day.

This quandary I have for You this morning is pretty difficult to

navigate my through, so that it will plant the proper seeds that I

would like to see come to fruition for my son. The last night of

the cruise he was brought to my cabin and I was awaken by the

knocks of one of the ships officers and a security guard. They had

observed Austin drinking the remains of other passengers alcoholic

drinks. He also had a fifth of Smirnoff Vodka in his possession

that he claims he found. I had to fill out an acknowledgment

statement and he was released to my supervision. I didn’t know

what was the proper thing to do at that moment, it was two in the

morning and I wasn’t thinking clearly to make those decisions.

So I had Austin brush his teeth and get into the bed with me. I

patted his chest and told him not to sweat it. What I needed was

time to pray for the right guidance that our Father would approve

of and hopefully save my son from the same 30 year torment that

I myself, had forged for myself of my own free will.

I am going to talk to my sponsor today and see if he has any

suggestions. I am leaning towards confessing what alcohol has

done to me and let my leper brothers and sisters explain what

it has done to their lives. I can only pray that at least one of the

stories will resonate in his subconscious and allow him to make

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better decisions when tempted with the dilemma of facing a very

powerful man made Demon.

I did not have any luck with getting him to play a financial

game last week that will help him throughout his life, so why

should he listen to me about alcohol. I have played the game with

him on several occasions and the seed has found nourished soil,

but I believe I may have over watered it. A seed must be allowed

time to take root and like I have done so many times in my life,

I over do it. When the seed is drowned in love, it repels it and

never is allowed for its roots to penetrate the soil. The soil has

been washed away and the seed searches for other soil. Soil that

appears to have more authority due to media credibility that is

questionable to say the least. My son has a new mentor because

of my shortcomings. I’ll keep you posted on how the conversation

goes with my sponsor. I pray to make the right decisions and

I hope it can help all of you with your own parental responsibilities.

It is our Demons that create secrets and shame for ourselves

that rob us from the ability to mentor our own children to face the

difficulties of a Godless world. A world filled with illusions that

can prey upon childrens dreams.

I like to dance alone for my Father. I dance with joy that He

has filled my heart with the Wisdom of King Solomon and the

Strength of King David. I dance for the opportunity to serve Him

as a saved witness. There is a tingling sensation that runs through

my head as I feel His presence. Many times it can break me into

tears, His Love is so Strong. We truly are His (2nd Wives) and He

is so close, but can’t quite have us completely due to our frame

of reference and the Demons we have filling our hearts. You will

know when you have cleansed with our Father. You will feel it,

there is nothing to hide from Him. He knows you better that you

know yourselves. I implore you to give your Demons to Christ,

He Saves.

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I reread my mentors book “Rich Dad’s Conspiracy of the

Rich” by Robert Kiyosaki while I was sober and on the cruise.

We agree on most things except level of contentment. After reading

the book and getting re-energized about getting into good

debt, I came home to hear another counsel in my friend Brian.

He reminded me of the torment that I had and that he presently

has trying to pay this debt. The whole idea is for the asset to pay

for itself and in an ideal situation it does. The problems arise

when you give your contentment over to another individual. My

cash position tells me that I am ready to take on this debt and be

able to absorb any mishaps, but my contentment tells me to build

my portfolio of passive income slower and with cash. Maybe my

balls will never be as big as Mr. Kiyosaki’s and I admire him for

having nuts so big they have to ride shotgun, but I think I will

make the most out of a humble lifestyle and worship God without

having to worry about how to pay for food, water, shelter,

healthcare and Freedom. My small balls will grow to big balls

generation after generation eternally. It will be the Legacy that I

leave on earth for the praise of our Father.

He also mentioned not liking mutual funds because of the

excessive fees and not being truly diversified in the four categories.

The Heirs will have a vote to control the financial predators.

Businesses, Real Estate, Paper Assets and Commodities. I presently

have my assets in Silver, Real Estate and cash that is doing

nothing to hedge against inflation. I just don’t understand the

stock market and I don’t want to take the time to learn it. He also

mentions that people would have been better off to just place their

bets aligning with the S & P 500. I pray Mr. Kiyosaki will take on

the Challenge to be a member on the Two Talent Team of God’s

Treasury. I would place my bet on those Legacies. I believe that if

I had inheritance involved, I would monitor it as much if not more

than I do Fantasy Football. Because if I win, I get a better check

and my world flourishes as my Savior heals the sick and gains

His Earthly presence with the Kingdom of God. BTW...I never

had time for fantasy football, I’m to busy chatting with my God

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to help my brother and save mankind from a terrible Demonic

fate that it’s course presently charts. I am so damn ready to give

my mind a break, I guess that is why I was always sedating it

with alcohol. Ask and Ye shall receive, we get to decide who we

will serve. What are your seven deadly sins? What robs you of

a Christ filled Life? Are you ready to ask for Christ to battle this

Demon of yours?

Financial Ark: Robert used this analogy so people could understand

that they need to build their own Ark’s for turbulent financial

and retirement times. I pray that you can see how our

God was passing the same message with the story of Noah. God

allowed Noah to save mankind and rebuild with faith, somehow

the message was lost again over time. Gods Last Will and Testament

still had not been revealed to illustrate eternal praising and

birthrights. Shall we destroy our world this time with fire for a

new generation to start again still clueless to our Father’s Will.

Our Father wants us all to build our own personal Eternal Financial

Arks so that His Future Children can live in a world free

from corruption and experience His Healing Powers and Merciful,

Forgiving Love.

“Cattle Rancher” versus “Dairy Farmer”: Robert uses this

analogy to demonstrate the difference between the mindset of one

that slaughters assets versus milking them. You can accumulate

assets with any type of job you may have. My chosen profession

is real estate, therefore I must slaughter them to feed myself and I

will keep some in my portfolio to milk. I prefer to accumulate my

milking assets at a slower pace and not create debt even when it

is “Good Debt”. I do not have a defeatist attitude, I just know the

level of contentment that I need and I’m not willing to take the

fast track with worry about finances. I am happy for my brothers

and sisters that do and wish them all the success in the world. I’ll

reserve my talents with contentment and fulfilling my purpose for

God mentoring others to strive for more. The Gift that I will receive

for helping my brothers and sisters in Christ is “Priceless”. I

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get to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, you can too and live a Christ

filled life while we are here on Mother Earth.

Okay, talked with sponsor and Austin. I’m tired tonight, so

I’ll fill you in tomorrow morning. Thanks for another sober day

Lord, it was a hell of a lot easier today without Pedro shoving

frozen drinks in my face all day. LOL

7/24/2010

Good Morning Lord. Please grant me another sober day. I’m

headed to the gym and a meeting this morning before Austin

wakes up. We’ll chat when I get back.

K

Hey, I’m back. The meeting was real good this morning. I

think I picked up a level of respect from my Leper brothers and

sisters because I passed the 30 day mark. More of them are starting

to approach me now and carry on conversations. It reminds

me of the movie “The Dirty Dozen” when one of the new guys

was trying to befriend the veterans of war. They didn’t want to

get close to the new comer because most fail and die. Just like

many that come to the twelve step program wanting to achieve

sobriety, but they haven’t given their life over to You, Christ our

Lord and Savior.

So I talked to my sponsor about bringing Austin to a meeting

and he didn’t seem to think it was a good idea. So I had to take

the mentoring lesson to my son on by myself. I took him to a

Mexican restaurant and told him that his Great Grandfather died

in prison because he was running moonshine. His Grandfather is

a recovering alcoholic and his dad is an alcoholic that has to go

to meetings to remain sober. I told him that alcoholism is a disease

that is hereditary and there a very good chance that he has

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these traits. I told him that what he had done on the cruise was

things that he would have to face alone for the rest of his life and

if he didn’t gain an awareness of this disease it could cost him

a fulfilled life. I also told him that if he ever found himself in a

situation that he had been drinking or was with someone that was

drinking, to call me anytime of the day or night and I would be

there to pick him up and bring him home safely. I did tell him he

would have to wash my car for dragging my ass out of bed. LOL

This is the type relationship that I want to have with my son, one

that is supportive, not one that would cause him to hide what I

already know he is doing. My main concern is that he is safe and

when he is not, he exercises good judgment when his judgment

abilities have been mentally altered by alcohol or drugs. I am so

glad that I didn’t make a rash decision while we were on the ship

and my emotions were running so high with irritability because

of my own alcoholic shortcomings. I have planted a seed, just as

my Savior has told me to do. I will not over water this seed and

allow Austin an open door to come to me when he has questions,

knowing that he will not face retribution for doing so. I mean

really, “Go Get Me A Switch” to beat your ass with never really

worked for me. Understanding and empathy is what will resonate

with anyone trying to conquer their Demons and most will never

consider allowing Christ to help until they are face down to the

ground in tears and turmoil before they do. Then as soon as things

seem to get better they allow their Demons back in where the Demons

find that the new environment has be swept clean and the

Demons proceeds to make up for lost time. This is when you can

really see your life slip away from you, FAST.

I believe our Lord has the same open door to us. Anyone willing

to ask for His help and Guidance, “IT” is always there for

us to indulge in. Christ Love is Merciful and Forgiving, He is

always ready for you to allow Him into your heart for a heart to

heart. I wanted to either Die or get my Life back. My feet were

going numb and I know that I have diabetic issues, but the lure of

alcohol was stronger than my fear of death. I could not conquer

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this Demon on my own. I could not conquer this Demon with just

Christ. I could only conquer this Demon if I had a purpose to do

so. My purpose in life is to serve Christ and being a drunken Witness

for our Lord and Savior is not where He wants me to be and

certainly not where I want to be any longer. I pray that I am able

to salvage my life and be of some benefit to others trying to accomplish

the same. I was sharing some financial knowledge with

a new Leper friend after the meeting. I could tell he was lapping it

up and searching for answers himself. I have discovered so much

and I am passionate about giving again. Today’s topic was about

giving to others without a sense of what do I get out of it. I reflected

on that and when it was my turn to speak, I told everyone

about the story of Naomi and Ruth. How they had gone out so

full and life beat them down. I told them how I loved mentoring

to people the things that I thought I knew and gained fulfillment

from helping others. I told them how life had beat me down and

sent me into a drunken life of isolation and paranoia. I can only

witness for our Savior about what I have experienced and can

articulate. I find that I have purpose in Life if I can help others,

so I guess I’ll keep going back, listening and helping.

Hey Good Night Lord, thanks for another sober day. The

seeds that I planted are starting to take root. Austin and I played

Cashflow 101 twice today at his request. I think he may have finally

gotten what it is all about. I pray the talk about alcoholism

sticks as well.

Sunday 7/25/2010

“DO OVER”

Good Morning Lord, I like today’s topic. It is like we will

have our own twelve step meeting this morning. Or as I like to

refer to “IT”, a Personal Praise and Worship Service. You have

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been plummeting my mind with thoughts this morning and I have

prayed about them. So let’s have a service shall we.

Your words make me reflect on the movie “Big”. We all

watched as a child named Josh became an adult instantly and

faced a different atmosphere than he was used to. His frame of

reference had not included the tyranny that man wages against

man. It was his blind child like faith that actually made him

unique in a corrupt world. He was despised by his adversaries

and desired by his female co-worker as she attempts to climb the

corporate pole with different talents.

When Josh presented his girlfriend the idea of coming back to

childhood with him, she honestly reflected how much difficulty

she had had navigating her way through adolescence. If it were

me reflecting the same scenario, I would be thinking about all the

mistakes I made and the pain that comes from “IT”. Searching for

the “TRUTH” as I go through life trying to emulate the ones that

I admire presents many decisions.

As I think about Your words “Do Over”, I just have to wonder

how things would have been for me if somehow I could have

been blessed with all the knowledge that I have now, then? I have

been through so much training, read so many books and experienced

life for myself. I have been on man’s path for my entire

life and it wasn’t working out to well. Since I can not got back

to being a child via a Zoltar Machine, I would like to share with

my son what I know, so that he may be able to avoid many of the

largest pitfalls that I endured.

I just can’t tell You how excited I am to see some of my seeds

take root. I want him to be able to have the knowledge to create

himself a life free from Demons that will rob him of his life. I

want him to have the financial success that affords him comfort,

but also the time to reflect on You, how blessed he truly is and

how he can make an impact in others lives.

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Okay, I’ll be selfish and dream the impossible dream. If I

were given a chance to do life over. What would I want?

You know, I was never one of those salesman that got their

quota and laid down for the rest of the month. I was always striving

for more and I wanted that plaque with my name on it, so

everyone could see “I am the Champion, my friend”. My vanity

was rewarded as well as my finances. I worked very hard and put

in many hours, even working alone on the Sabbath. I earned those

plaques, but because my father in law was the General Manager,

everyone thought I had been given a leg up. So the reward was a

bitter sweet one for me. I had no idea what was really important

to me, so I chased toys to fill the void.

I would have like to have been able to recognize that my Materialistic

Idols were robbing me of my life. I would have like to

have been educated in all four quadrants of employment. Employee,

Self Employed, Business Owner and Investor. I would

like for someone to have told me how to build my financial ark,

so that I could achieve a level of finances that would allow me to

give back to my brothers and sisters in Christ and live a Christ

filled life of contentment.

“Happiness and Contentment have been achieved” - The

Coneheads

I remember when the financial planners were presenting the

401k plan. It made sense to me at the time. You just have a portion

of your earnings retracted from your paycheck and give all of

you financial control over to someone that you perceive as having

more intelligence than yourselves. No one really talked about the

scenario of not having new money come into the plan to buy the

shares of the existing members as they begin to retire. We were

just made to have the assumption that the Market would continue

to go up and thrive. Why would anyone want to trust the market

now with all of the corruption we are witnessing? The Market

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is in dire need of the “Circle of Life” theory. Until the Circle is

Eternal, empires will continue to fall over and over again until the

destruction of our World.

I would have liked to have lived in a World like our forefathers,

except with the comforts of today. They had a very clear understanding

that we are “ONE NATION UNDER GOD” and “IN

GOD WE TRUST”. I’m not sure exactly why God was chipped

away from our lives over time, but generation after generation

kept having sentiments of “what has God ever done for me”. And

the Bible, Jeez, what a playground for the corrupt. If the same

passage was read by people around the world with completely

different frames of reference, how many different truths would

you hear? I would have liked for someone to tell me that I should

always respectfully question authority. Do my own research and

decide if I want my decisions to be Christ like or Anti-Christ like

based on what I feel on my heart what our Father would approve.

Okay, I got it. They have their own version of the truth and I have

mine. I just don’t want them to enforce their version on me. They

will not be with me when I meet You. I know when I am sinning

and I know when I am witnessing. I know I will strive for more

for Your Glory and I know I serve a forgiving God when my decisions

are not from You, but from man and my selfishness.

So let me see if I can recap all this for You. I want to live in a

World of the Truth and have a level playing field for everyone that

is willing to seek their purpose for You, thus finding their own

purpose in life. I want mankind to have it better than I. I certainly

don’t want to see my son go through 30 yrs of his life in a drunken

stupor trying to figure out the rules and utilizing mentors that will

quickly prey upon his naivety.

Lord, tell me why You have allowed me to be raised in a World

where you are considered uncool. A world where if you proclaim

our love for You, ours peers think we have lost our minds. I want

to know why we have taken You out of our lives so much over the

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generations that we can’t even proclaim our love for a Creator,

Savior and a Wonderful Counselor that speaks to us all. Has Satan

won? Satan being man himself based on the decision he makes

deciding who to serve.

Lord, I thank You for all of Your Gifts. I thank you for giving

me the courage to endeavor to persevere for You. I thank You for

giving me the wisdom to share with Your Children and mine, but

Your humble servant very humbly requests the Serenity of knowing

that I have completed Your Will so that I may have Peace of

Mind, Heart, Body and Soul. I just can not think of leaving a

World knowing what I know about You and having all the Gifts

that you have shared with me and not be heard. I don’t want to

leave a world where God does not have a say in the outcome. It

is time Lord, we are ripe. Please send Your Angels to touch their

hearts and build Your Earthly Kingdom. We so cry out to be Your

Harvest.

Please forgive those that know not what they do and punish

those that know exactly what they do as they serve man. I

am not their Judge, only the Father can Judge. He Judges with

consequences, some are fair and some are not. If you always got

the good deal, how would you know the bad? Learn from your

mistakes and make your life revolve around a relationship with

Christ first, then your peers. As you have said many times, the

poor of heart will always be among us. Okay, forgive me Father.

I am adding a few words to Yours and we have been warned about

that. If my words have not been for thy Glory, Your humble servant

begs for forgiveness of my shortcomings. I know You are

using me as an instrument, let my drum be heard worldwide. “I

play my drum for You. Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum.”

You know what the really cool thing about having a personal

relationship with You is? It’s free to everyone. No membership

dues or selling donuts at five in the morning on a Saturday. To be

in an elite group that has trained their hearts to hear you Lord, is

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a membership that I want to be a part of. I get to witness to my

peers of Your Love for us. And they get to be one of the Two Witnesses

also. My brothers and sisters in Christ, a very elite group

that serve a Loving God and are willing to be thy brothers keeper

and motivator. Oops...there I go again adding words to Yours.

Tell me the Truth Lord. I have always made the case that

King David’s son was Nathan the Prophet. Who else would have

the nuts to scold the King for plotting to get a little booty with

Bathsheba. She sounds freaking HOT!!! So if Nathan the Prophet

was the son of the King, he would feel a little more comfortable

about challenging Him. So if all of God’s children are sons and

daughter’s of One Father and Creator, then that would make me

a son of God, just as we all are. As a Son of a Great God, I have

my beliefs and my own interpretation of My Father’s Word and I

speak for my Father.

I WILL...

MY EARTHLY

KINGDOM

Wow, I went out for a smoke on that one and You gave me a

sign. Thunder coming from the Heavens that shook the house. I’ll

take that as a sign of approval, I hope. If not, I’m screwed. I am so

nervous being on this slippery slope Lord. I truly pray that what

I am doing for You is for Your Glory and not mine. I can yield to

my judgmental brothers, but I say screw them. I’ve been serving

Y’all long enough and I want to serve my Father now. This is

what I believe and you can believe anything you want. Screw it,

I’m taking a shower now and going to meet with my sponsor to

help me fight my Demons. I’ll give You a shout when I get back

Lord. Can I get a Witness??? Don’t scare me like that by turning

off my power Lord. I could never write this book again. I will

never go back to that life of torment without You and serving

my Demons. But we did have some great drunken chats though.

Whoo Hoo. LOL

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I pray that You give me strength to heal from my Demons

wounds. I pray that I scar over so my Demon can not penetrate

again. I pray You use my scars made of my own free will that left

a wake of wounds for my family and for Your Family. My brothers

and sisters in Christ.

Austin finally beat me at Cashflow 101. He is real proud of

himself for having an understanding of a game that he was intimidated

by. We are fixing to watch a movie and call it a night. Good

Night Lord, thanks for another sober day.

7/26/2010

Good Morning my Savior. Please grant me another sober day.

Not much on the agenda today, I’d like to work out and go to a

meeting before Austin wakes up. I need to call Bill today and see

what the plan for Atlanta is. I know Austin is looking forward to

flying on his plane. I look forward to it every time I go. I haven’t

seen Bill for awhile now and I look forward to spending some

time with him also. Our personalities are very different, so I enjoy

his stories and he enjoys the advice I give him. We are brothers

from a different mother and I love my brother. I have some great

fear about the path my brother is on and who am I to preach about

Demons? I will take my Father’s advice and “Plant Seeds” and

I will learn from my mistakes of the past, so I do not over water

“IT”. I can only pray that the seeds will take root, but they must

first be placed into the subconscious. We have all heard that we

shouldn’t do something and we do it anyway. Show me how you

were able to bring yourselves up from the pits of Hell here on

Earth and strive to live a life without Demons. We all stumble,

but which Demons are robbing you of the most? Let’s start with

those first. The mind altering Demons. I have to be able to make

good decisions in order to perform my purpose in life. Even as

painful as life can be. Do you remember when Wallace (Braveheart)

refused the mind altering drug before he was tortured? He

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said he needed to have his wits about him. There is a time to focus

and there is a time to play. If you want to endanger your own

life fine, I will pray for you, but don’t endanger the lives of your

brothers and sisters in Christ. Haven’t you ever heard that there

is a “TIME and PLACE” for everything? How many fingers must

you lose before you catch on?

Hey I’m back and Austin is still asleep. My mind is still running

in so many directions Lord. I am wondering if I have told

them everything You want me to tell them. I pray that you allow

me to hear the words on my heart, so that I might be the witness

I was intended to be for You. Am I done Lord? Next week I will

start the final edit hopefully and then off to the presses. I am so

ready to be done Lord and slip into an anonymous Witness for

You. I want to Witness Your Mighty Hand Heal Your Children

and harness our Demons for a thousand years. A World of Peace

and Love is pretty mind boggling. I pray we have not moved so

past You, that we can not come home to You. What is Your Will

for me Lord? Have I done all in my power to be a humble servant

for You Lord? Will this testimony of a poor wretched sinner,

change the direction of Your World? I believe “IT” can, but what

do I know. I’m just a drunk that was saved by You and I will not

remain silent about “IT”.

Played Cashflow with Brian and Kim tonight. Austin won

and did a great job as an auditor and coach. You learn a lot more

when you can coach someone else. They make you accountable

to know what you are teaching unless you silence them about

your own ignorance.

Going to call it a night. Good Night Lord, thank you for another

sober day.

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7/27/2010

Good Morning Lord, please grant me another sober day. Our

plans have changed due to a death of a friend. The funeral is

on Friday, so we will not be going to Atlanta this time. These

are the most difficult to understand Lord, the deaths that cut an

inspiring life short. He was a young, vibrant, well spoken and a

driven man. He found himself very comfortable in an environment

of his peers that were all of a different race than himself.

He conducted himself in a manner that was accepted by his peers,

regardless of his race. I am so happy to be seeing this. Not just

the acceptance, but the desire of a minority to strive for more and

his fellow majority brother is there with his hand extended in acceptance

and friendship. God must have a special purpose for this

special young man, He literally opened His mouth and swallowed

him. Our friend was taken from us in an undertow of the seas,

I pray that the memories of overcoming racial boundaries will

continue. I believe that our lost friend, if given the opportunity,

would witness for the Lord telling everyone that Racism can be

overcome. I believe he would tell you that it requires work from

both sides. I believe that if this message can get out, he will have

served his purpose for God and mankind. He will have planted

his seed before meeting his Savior. Til we meet again my friend,

thanks for fighting the good fight. Rest in Peace my brother of a

different color.

Oh BTW, this is ironic. He was a Bailey and we all know

about those Bailey’s don’t we?

“You just can’t keep those Bailey’s down, can you Mr. Potter?”

- It’s a Wonderful Life

I was just reflecting on my appearance last Christmas. I was

in a full blown manic state of mind and I was going to do what

I wanted to do, regardless of what others thought. There was no

way I could have gotten a job and been accepted by my peers with

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my appearance. It did not effect them, I did not need their approval.

It was when I discovered that I was embarrassing my son

I realized that my appearance was not acceptable as a witness for

our Father. I don’t believe He would approve of my appearance,

the first thing my peers see and judge me by.

I was watching an episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” the

other night. The message was about “Casual Friday” and how the

people that engage in a professional relationship don’t appreciate

the lack of seriousness taken by someone that will be handling

their personal affairs based on their appearance. You do have to

dress the part to be accepted as someone that takes life serious,

when life needs to be taken seriously. Your peers do not have time

to examine your heart at first glance, they judge your appearance

and label whatever your demeanor personifies by that first

impression. Look at yourselves, would you take yourselves seriously

if you were wanting the Lords trust, let alone the trust of a

potential client or friend? Do you believe your appearance exemplifies

what our Father would approve of? Your Father approves

of “Clean” and your brother approves of clean cut. Your brother

will discover if you are pure of heart only after further examination

of the decisions you make daily and so will your Father. Will

your appearance allow you the opportunity for your brother to see

your heart like only your Father can? If my financial planner were

to conduct his business in the hot sun, I would anticipate him

to dress comfortably, yet appropriately. If his business is to be

conducted in an controlled environment, then I would still expect

comfort ability and professionalism. We are not bartering at the

fruit stands, we are building life long trust.

I’m going to take Austin to my folks today, we’ll have some

lunch and play Cashflow. Austin didn’t want to play Cashflow

last time, so I kicked his ass at Risk. LOL Since he has won the

last two times at Cashflow even met with more challenges of different

players, he is on fire to prevail more. I am so proud to have

a son that has begun to understand financial intelligence. How

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many 14 yr olds do you know that know what a financial statement

is? All it took was some seeds and a path, now I will sit back

and watch it flourish with loving guidance. I can live vicariously

through my son and bring him to know the Lord next (seeds have

already been planted) and I won’t over water. He’s on his own

with the chicks, I still don’t have them figured out. He’s a cutie,

it will be interesting to watch. I’m afraid those are lessons that

can only be experienced, not articulated. How does one explain

clearly the pain derived from a broken heart? Our Christ, Our

Savior has a broken heart right now for His (2nd Wives). He has a

broken heart for all of us, His children.

I understand why You my Savior could not tell us everything

while You were here gracing us with Your presence. You had too

many seeds to plant and the only option was for You to go away

and send the Wonderful Counselor. Thank you Lord for opening

my eyes so that He may counsel me. I experience the same

as I try to plant seeds in James Austin. He rebels when I try too

hard to mentor. I could have said screw it, let him figure it out

for himself. Instead I chose to plant seeds as You said to do and

allow them to take root when he was ready to begin farming for a

bountiful harvest. I am here for him, just as You are here for me,

him and all of Your believing Children. Children of Faith for a

loving forgiving God.

Lord, I am selling my ass off to Your children to believe in

You. I pray I do not over sell and lose them. I just believe that

these things you put on my heart are things you want me to share

with them. My everyday occurrences emulates everyone’s life

at some point in time in their own lives. I pray I can witness for

You Lord as they make their own free will decisions of who to

serve. I pray to emulate You my Lord and Savior. I pray for Your

Forgiveness when I fall short and make amends swiftly and accordingly.

I pray to learn from my sins and to share with others

when appropriate.

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If you struggle with a heart that is too big or the nuts to face

confrontation, reread my letter to my friend and brother in Christ

Bill Holmes of Holmes Motors Inc. I was watching Hell’s Kitchen

last night with James. Just as Bill was Billy when I first met

him, Austin has grown to be James, not Jim, James and I will

make it a point to call him a name worthy of his knowledge that

I have instilled into him and he has accepted. Anyway, the owner

of this restaurant was a pathetic worm of a man. He broke down

in tears and explained that his own inadequacies were derived

from a driven, not loving dad. Once the mirror had been placed

in front of his face, he knew he had to grow some balls and do

what needed to be done for the well being of all that counted on

the Legacy that his dad had left to him. The Legacy needed his

leadership so that he could continue to provide well being to all

that depended on the success of the business. If you are a business

owner, I implore you to surround yourselves with employees that

understand your success is directly related to the enthusiasm of

it’s people that strive to be the best at what they do and compensate

them with praise and a just wage. The ones that you pamper

will never fulfill their purpose until they understand the purpose

of a team. So get rid of them and allow them to find themselves

somewhere else. God is working here and “IT” shows.

I just got off the phone with Carli. She says she will be done

with the edit this wkend. I am so ready to get started on the final

edit. I don’t know what the hell I am in store for, because I don’t

remember what I wrote. I have scanned through and I know I’m

not crazy, just very drunk and raw. You know the old saying, you

tell the truth when you’re drunk. I’m getting very excited about

watching Christ battle my Demon myself. I can’t wait to eat popcorn

and watch “IT” at the theaters. I’ll be having a non-alcoholic

beverage of course. LOL You can not tell me any of your sneaky

shit that I have not already done or thought of. We can be geniuses

when it comes to concealing our medicine/Demon.

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Lord, I am not sure how we will end this conversation. Have

I told them everything that You want me to share? Talk to me

straight tonight brother. I want to be the Witness that You were

expecting to show up.

Why do you ask me if you are done? Are you done? Is this

not your cleansing? How far must you run to out run your

Demons? You place your power in Me, I give you the power

in you through Me. Your Faith in Me has cured you of your

Demon. But beware, your Demon waits patiently for you to

serve him once again. He is always there for you, just as I AM.

Trust in Me as I have put My trust in you. My brothers and

sisters of one true Father our Creator, our one true God.

I still don’t think I got a clear answer, so I guess I will be done

when I am done.

I WILL...

BE DONE

I AM...

DONE

God, I dig it when Your Words Live, but they are up for interpretation

again. We can all fill in our own dot dot dot’s, so I guess

that is the point of the dots. We get to fill in the dots of our own

lives to determine if we are done or not. Let Your Words speak to

their heart Lord, they know their dots and spots. It is difficult to

change the spots of a Leper, but it can be done with the help of a

perfect brother and imperfect brothers and sisters in Christ as we

all are or can be of our own free will. You have to ask yourselves

will you witness for our Savior, fulfill your purpose for Him and

be done. I am fulfilling my purpose for God and I will never be

done witnessing for You Lord. Until that great day comes that I

get to meet You face to face.

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Speaking of being done Lord, I’m tired. Thanks for another

sober day. You are a great God. I am so thankful to have a personal

relationship with You. It’s just too easy to talk to You, You

are such a great listener. I’m still digging the idea that my acts

will enable King David and King Solomon to be done. I pray this

will finally enable them to enter the Kingdom of Heaven where

they may find rest and comfort with the Father who art in Heaven.

Good Night my Lord and Savior. Good Night my Father in

Heaven. Good Night my Wonderful Counselor. I pray the Three

Heads will look over me and guide my thoughts to be as Christ

like as a sinner can confess and witness for the Glory of thy God.

I look forward to talking with You tomorrow, don’t keep me up all

night Lord. I’d love another drunken chat with You, but I know

that a drunken witness is not a witness for You at all. A drunken

witness is a witness for our Demon. I pray that I have witnessed

for my Demon enough. I pray that You use me as a witness for my

Demon to help Your children learn from my Demonic witnessing.

I can hear the gnashing of teeth coming from my Demon. He

promises me so much. He lies about what he will give me. I know

what the outcome will be if I surrender to his temptations. Somehow,

I just don’t feel alone to fight this Demon any longer. I do

not have the uncontrollable urges any longer. You have Your foot

upon my Demon and I have Your shield around me. I am in Your

Rocking Chair, like Smokey and the Bandit. I Am safe in Your

Loving Arms. I Will allow No Demon to hurt me tonight. Tomorrow

is another day and the SON of God will come out tomorrow,

you can bet your bottom dollar tomorrow. Dollar Hell, I have my

whole life on the line. I have placed my bets on my Savior. Go

ahead and “SPIN IT”, I don’t even have to look. My face is upon

my Savior’s feet, I am His humble servant and no longer a slave

to my Demon alcohol. Cigarettes, “YOU”RE NEXT”!!!

My mind is racing tonight Lord. My impatience is getting the

better of me. I know that Your Will will be done when You Will it

to be done. It is my Will that I grow impatient with. Please accept

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my humble apologies for being an inadequate servant. I know I

must wait upon You, hand and foot.

7/28/2010

Good Morning God. Please grant me another sober day. I’m

headed to pick up James and bring him home. Six hour round trip.

Ugh It’s all good though, I’ll have a lot of driving time to really

pray without any distractions. Just don’t put too much wisdom on

my heart, I am not going to write it down, so don’t waste it. I’ll

be right back.

K...Drive Careful.

I’m a little tired tonight, but I have a lot to discuss with You

in the morning. Thanks for the Revelation on the ride back home.

We’ll talk about that and the seed that I planted in my new Leper

friend. Good Night Lord, thanks for another sober day.

7/29/2010

Good Afternoon Lord, Please grant me another sober day. I

just got off the phone with a great friend Carolpaetra. We had a

lengthy discussion about a lot of things going on in each of our

lives. My passion controlled the direction of the conversation,

but that is nothing new. It has always been about me and I am

working on that. It is just that I am passionate about witnessing

for You and looking for any kind of sign that will help for You to

touch their hearts. She has suggested that I see the movie “Julie

and Julia”, she says I may get something out of it. I will let You

know, I’m going to watch it today. I pray that it inspires me to

deliver Your wisdom.

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I pray that Your children will believe, that I believe in what I

am doing for You my Lord. Your humble servant can only pray

for that awareness. It is up to each and everyone of them to determine

what their own belief in a Higher Power is to them and

be willing to accept You as their Judge and Jury, not their peers.

Have You been chipped away from our lives so much, that we

fear of being ostracized from our peers if we witness for You?

Have You been chipped away from our culture so much, we can’t

see that our own survival will only come if “IT” includes You.

Our one God and Creator. One Son that gave His life for ours and

One Hell of a Wonderful Counselor that speaks to our hearts?

Three Heads in One.

I struggled with the Holy Spirit Lord. I didn’t know how to

listen with my heart. I can see it in my own writing, it tracks the

progression of when I allowed the scales to be removed from my

eyes and see and hear with my heart. I was trying to communicate

with you Lord, but I was to involved in what was in it for me at

first. I had a motivation and honestly, I still do. But You have allowed

me to see past me and the benefit Your Gift will be to all

mankind eternally. I feel on my heart that I must put my life on

hold and become the witness I was intended to be. I pray that I

can accomplish this task soon Lord. Your humble servant is just

about fed up with being in Limbo. I want to achieve balance in

every arena of my life. I have financial intelligence. I have spiritual

awareness. I want a relationship with a partner that desires

to please me, as much as I desire to please her. I pray that You

will grant me the latter once I allow You to defeat and remove my

Demons. Until then, I am not sure where You will take my life.

I’d like to witness for You worldwide at anonymous meetings. I

pray that is Your Will, not mine.

Satan has won, I am defeated. This is how I felt Lord, this is

how I felt when I begged of Your assistance. I was powerless over

my Demon. You took me as I was, with a “AS – IS” disclaimer

and allowed me to bring my Demons. Only You could have con133

quered this Demon and You must remain with me, for I Am to

weak to be alone. I Will store You in my heart and bring You out

anytime I need to make a decision. My decisions will be Christ

Like as much as a wretched sinner can pray for. When I fail, I

will immediately ask for forgiveness and make any retribution

required for the well being of my brother in Christ. I pray that I

will learn from my shortcomings and the shortcomings of others.

This is my last thought before I go get that movie, but I had

to put on down on paper before I forgot “IT”. On the way home

with James Austin, I tried to tell him where his own family fit in

to the Cashflow game. His Pop Pop had gotten lucky with some

real estate deals at the end of his life, but his life was his work and

at 70 yrs old with cancer, he still had to report into to work to get

a check to survive on. My parents did not live the materialistic

facade, yet retired in their 50’s. I had been on the materialistic

path and failed. I had been restored with a new Faith.

“Julie and Julia” Movie notes:

A blessed life

A life of struggle

Her passion became her release of anxiety

Acceptance of the gift of ADD

Worldly friends and confidence

Plastic friends and self-esteem

A deranged challenge 365 days

Time is always a challenge

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A mentor looking to fulfill a void and a mindless search to

find it

Reality check from family to kill your dreams

She is challenged to fulfill her passion

In her mind, she has a personal relationship with her icon

She desperately wanted some encouragement and when she

thought she would have her first fan, it ended up being a crab.

I love how Julia’s dreams were challenged by a pompass ass

and she rose to the challenge, put in extra time and her heart.

Julia seems to have a supportive spouse and she fulfill his

erotic desires. She also affirms his importance to her and to his

work. Then he turns around and reciprocates with a compliment

of love. Appreciation can be so heart breaking and fuel you to do

more.

“These things are as hot as a stiff cock”, Julie is shocked to

see a different side of Julia.

Julie gained encouragement from followers.

Julie began to study the life of her icon and began emulating

her.

Julie’s friends figured out a way she could financially facilitate

her passion through pay pal and the help of her fans.

Julie acknowledged her spouse and icon as her means of getting

through life with contentment.

Rut Roe, “too much food and not enough sex”.

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Vanity has begun to set in. I have a following.

Julia listened to advisors and circumvented her opposition,

the one that prevented her from fulfilling the recognition of her

achievement she so desired.

The fights begin when Julie’s passion becomes the focus.

The frustration sets in as the hurdles mount, but Julie receives

a phone call from a reporter, she bounces back to 100%.

It was cool to watch Julia’s husband defuse a confrontation

by excusing himself to dance with his wife. Sometimes you just

have to walk away from people that refuse to see a different side.

Julie’s passion for her icon continues as she feels a spiritual

connection with Julia.

Julie and her husband find light hearted humor at her icon’s

expense.

It was interesting to see another cook book author that was

swindled out of her dream. Her dream didn’t seem authentic

though, because she had not tested all of the recipes. She was in

it for the quick bucks for herself.

The enthusiasm that Julia had for someone loving her book

was inspirational.

Just when Julie thought she might be getting her big break,

then life dealt her a curve ball. When her support team came to

the rescue, she bit his head off. She chased her passion until she

chased off her husband.

Many distractions kept Julia from completing her passion.

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Watching the partners splitting up perceived future profits and

demanding a fair share for a fair share of the work is something

we all deal with. Then the slacker of the group plays on the others

empathy. Julia caved in and the other partner picked up the slack

and did what was fair and needed to be done.

Julia’s husband gets grilled by his employers and begins to

question what his career was all about. Then finds comfort in

knowing that Julia is pursuing her passion and she graciously included

him in the efforts. He felt contentment by helping to fulfill

the passion of his partner in life.

Julie begins to take a personal inventory and realizes that her

world was way out of balance without her supportive husband.

She respects his wishes not to share their dirty laundry with the

world.

Julie is warned by her employer to not let her passion interfere

with her companies objectives. She is also warned that

not everyone wants to have their own anonymity broadcasted for

public scrutiny.

Julie is so wrapped up in her own world, she forgets to be

empathetic to her friends world. The moment she tries to be empathetic,

the conversation is quickly reverted back to Julie. She

is drawn to a vision of her icon as always one that would be empathetic.

Julie so wants to emulate Julia, but falls short and is learning

from mistakes.

The loneliness sets in and the struggle to rekindle a relationship

begins.

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Once Julie had overcome her obstacles, her dream killer

wants to encourage her to continue without a lot of empathy of

others left in the wake.

Julie accepts the situational loss and begins to pursue her passion,

just when her better half shows up to reunite their lost love.

Julia is asked to revise her work, she is asked to revise her passion.

She is asked to shorten her passion due to the shear length.

She begins to question her publisher’s authority on her passion.

Questions arise as to the purpose of their passion. “We wanted

to write a french cook book for American woman who do not

have cooks”. Julia is re-energized with a challenge to complete

her passion. She wanted her passions to come in volumes, so as

not to take anything away from her passionate followers.

Julie regains her focus, now that she has regained her balance

in life.

Both Julie and Julia begin to find love again as their passions

draw near to reality and finality.

Julie tells an authority that she dreams to meet Julia one day.

She explains she feels Julia’s precense

The reporter that crushed Julie’s heart, but not her spirit.

7/29/2010

Good Morning God. Please grant me a sober day. I am

sooooo.....pissed. As you might notice, I didn’t thank you for a

sober day for 7/27/2010. That’s because I lost a day and a half

worth of work. I will take that as a sign; “This is God reminding

Nathan to shut up”. I was wondering how I was to finish this. With

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help from my new friend Carol suggesting a applicable movie for

me to watch, You have shown me exactly how I should end this. I

will take this weekend off Lord to pray. Next week I will start the

final edit of Your prophetic book and fulfill my purpose for You.

You are a great God. I am dealing with making amends to

people that I have harmed in my lifetime. On the financial aspect

of my transgressions, there lies a $4000 debt to a man that actually

introduced me to my very good friend and brother Bill. I

repaid him by stiffing him when my business went down.

I am also presently faced with another financial quandary. My

new friend Carol has found herself with no transportation. I owe

her nothing, she owes me nothing. We have just become close

friends and I can count those on one hand. I don’t want her to feel

obligated to me, so how can I help her without her feeling that I

am doing this for self serving reasons? She is pretty hot after all.

I have heard from some pretty reliable sources that when they

made financial amends, their victims don’t seem to react anything

like they were expecting. Their apologies came from their hearts

and pocket book, only to hear, are you crazy or just plain stupid?

Or does this make you feel better now?

It sounds to me that that money had been written off years

ago. I’d rather put it to good use for someone that I care about.

You are a brilliant God. I’ll buy a $4000 car for Carol and send

the title to my victim and let him collect my debt over time that

is comfortable for Carol.

Is that bad of me Lord? To use someone else to pay my debts?

I call it financial intelligence and being a better Witness for You.

The way I see it is, my victim is being reimbursed, my friend is

getting transportation and I am receiving the forgiveness I desperately

need to achieve balance. Without balance, I will never

achieve Self-Actualization. I will also guarantee the note to my

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victim. If Carol doesn’t pay it, I will. I want to trust in people

again.

The Wisdom of my brother King Solomon is awesome, but

my personal favorite is WWJD. What Would Jesus Do?

Lord, I just told Carol what I was doing and told her I’d draw

up a contract. I know contracts forwards and backwards, but I

want her to have a contract from God.

I, Carolpaetra, hereby understand that I am entering into a

state of indebtedness for the amount of ($4000.00) four thousand

dollars.

For that debt I will have possession and use of undetermined

automotive collateral valued in excess of $4000.00.

I will make payments of $100.00 month to an undetermined

victim of Nathan’s and receive title once collateral is paid in full.

Times that I can pay more, I will.

If I can not meet this obligation, I will write a humble apology

to my debtor and make an earnest attempt to catch up.

I understand that there will be no interest on this debt.

I understand that I will maintain state law by carrying at least

minimum insurance and accept my debt regardless of the condition

of said collateral after possession.

I understand that no one will repossess this collateral for debt.

I understand this debt will bug the hell out of me, because it

is a debt to God and He has answered my transportation prayers.

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I will humbly give thanks to Him daily and twice on Sunday.

LOL That is actually the fun part when you develop a personal

relationship with Him.

I understand a signature is not needed, a handshake and prayer

is still a bond in Heaven and in my heart.

I pray that my victim will find forgiveness in his heart towards

me and empathy towards his new sister in Christ, so that

they may become life long friends.

X_____________________

“Sign your name across my heart, I want You to be my Savior”.

Good night Lord. Thanks for another sober day.

7/31/2010

Good Morning Lord. Please grant me another sober day. Another

financial quandary is headed my way. I pray that I will take

the time to pray about my decision. You know I will be giving

“IT” to You for Your approval for my heart. I watched Julie and

Julia again yesterday and saw a different movie the second time.

I will do the review on Sunday, I’d like to absorb the characters a

little more. I think it is a great illustration on how we can emulate

our icons. My icon just happens to be Christ. TTYL on that one k.

There really is just so much to say Lord. I pray You will

reveal to my heart any shortcomings Your humble servant may

have omitted.

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I WILL SEE

I AM HEART

YOUR BROTHER I AM

I WILL FOREVER BE

Cool, You are a poet and I didn’t know “IT”. LOL You can be

just so damn deep though. Carol bitches at me about being deep

so much. I want to have a lighter essence. When this is complete,

will You lighten my load on my heart Lord? Financially, we’re

good. More would be great, but not necessary for my contentment.

My contentment can only be fulfilled when Your children

accept You as their Lord and Savior. I must succeed in delivering

Your Gift Lord. If their Salvation comes with a check, maybe

they will listen. Lord, I think the only way that I will find rest

in my mind is to witness “IT” for myself. Father, please let my

brothers David and Solomon rest, just as I have humbly requested

for myself. My mind is like a pinball machine Lord, promise me

You will turn it off when You’re done. We do want to save on

energy and be ecologically minded. LOL True.

I pray this wonderful prayer of contentment:

God, please grant me

the Serenity to accept the things I can not change.

The Courage to change the things I can and

the Wisdom to know the difference.

You’ve given me the Wisdom of King Solomon and the Courage

of King David, now Your humble servant humbly requests

the Serenity that only You my Lord know at the right hand of the

Father in Heaven. Please take Your Kingdom now before “IT”

is too late. Steal their hearts Lord, steal them with the “Truth”.

There are many witnesses before me, like stars in the sky. They

cry out to me for their own rest and “IT” tears me apart. They turn

in their graves over regret. They regret they could not do more for

their God and their Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

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Just heard from Carli, she says that her edit is done. I’m so

excited to get started. I asked her if the book impacted her and

she said yes, but was struggling with it spiritually. Not exactly

the comment that would inflate my ego, but after praying about

it, it is the impression I want to leave. If “IT” has an impact, then

people will talk about “IT”. We all struggle spiritually, deciding

who to serve as our God takes a lifetime of personal decisions.

Then she expressed concerns over my well being, You know, a

crazy check. I told her “Thanks, No Worries”.

This is a tough world to be a Jesus Freak. If I were lugging

a real cross down the road, I probably would be questioning my

sanity more. I carry a “Gift” and I store it in my heart as I proceed

through my own Life. I would have never attended the party, had

it not been for my Lord giving me a Gift to give to you. I told

Him how ungracious you are, I told Him who you are when I

told Him about myself. I don’t remember the cats name (maybe

Ezekiel), but stubborn is the right word, but just does not convey

justly. I hate to add words, but let’s add assholes. We all got one

right, you stubborn assholes. LOL Especially my stubborn saved

ass. Oh yes my brother, I said Saved. Do you want what I have?

I abso-freaking-lutely want to give it to you. I have it right here

in the bag I stole from the Wizard of Oz. I promise to give it back

to him when I get there.

What is “IT”??? I Am Dying here.

K...here you go.

What’s a freaking mirror have to do with the Tea in China?

Let alone my Salvation?

Christ, I’m going for a smoke. I know, don’t give me shit

about it. Why don’t You tell them about the mirror? No parable

shit though. Of course unless you think it is appropriate. I must

watch my arrogance.

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MIRROR, MIRROR

ON THE WALL

WHO’S THE FAIREST

OF US ALL

LOL Holy Shit, I forgot about that one. That’s funny. We already

know when we see You my brother, that we see perfection.

What do we see, when we see me? Please Don’t say cringe.

ASK HEART

You know, I think we may have already discussed this topic.

I was pioneering ground that did not need to be pioneered. The

path was there, I could not see “IT” for the weed. A honest, personal

self evaluation is crucial to find out who we are, so that we

might witness for who You are. Our Savior.

Lord, I mentioned another financial quandary earlier and it

is noon and I have not received a call. (2nd Wife) sent me a text

yesterday with a plea for financial help. I was busy with You

and didn’t hear the beep. I sent her three text back, a phone call

and then an email via Facebook. She replied late in the evening

saying she had not seen a missed call on her phone and that she

would call in the morning. I know all to well that feeling of pride

that does not allow anyone any degree of self-esteem. Humble

Pie sucks, but I have acquired a taste for “IT” and wish to cut you

off a big slice for yourselves. Hold your nose, lick the salt off

your hand and bite into this lemon, then just shoot it down real

fast. You like the effects afterwords, but despise the after taste.

If you are the one hosting this humble pie party, make sure you

bring something refreshing to wash it down with. Not a constant

reminder of the shit you just made somebody eat. I am so blessed

to have had a slice from my parents that included whipped cream

and milk. I know that this is the right recipe for anyone’s appetite.

Only you get to decide whether you will be serving humble pie

or shit on a shingle. If you are the recipient of one of these, be

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humble and gracious. Shit on a shingle is better than no shit when

you’re desperate. You get to decide if you would like to ask for

“more please”. You may ask of the Father endlessly and eternally.

You may ask of your brother when you are truly in your time of

need and not there for him to be your facilitator. There lies your

answer of which kind of pie you will be eating today. I do love

me some humble pie, but I am very careful not to ask of my Lord

until it is truly my time of need to have some.

I made my decision Lord and will live with the consequences.

Bill will think I’m a pathetic chump, but it really doesn’t matter

what anyone thinks. It matters what I think. It matters to me what

I think You will approve of. I can’t see the Lord refusing me or

serving me shit on a shingle. I see it as a metaphor for accepting

something from someone and allowing your heart to taste “IT” or

to serve “IT”. Whichever side of the kitchen you find yourselves

on. None of you can tell me honestly you have not tasted “IT” or

served “IT” in your adult lives. Do unto others as you would have

them do unto you. Open your humble pie house and serve only

the best, even if you did not get the best, serve what you prayed

for when you placed your own order or future orders.

Lord, you have blessed me financially, but these pies can get

a little expensive.

LOOK FOR THOSE

BARE NECESSITIES

THOSE SIMPLE BARE NECESSITIES

FORGET ABOUT YOUR WORRIES

AND YOUR STRIFE

You’re such a silly brother of mine, I love you Christ. LOL This

is the pie I will be serving today Lord. I pray “IT” is Your recipe.

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Hey (2nd Wife),

I had to get this out in today’s mail. I haven’t heard from you,

so I will just tell you I know how hard this is for you. Please tell

me by accepting this from me, that you will ask again if you are

in need. I am building something for us, if there will ever be an

us again. I am living with a scar, but I am learning to live without

you. I pray you know how deeply I care for you. Enclosed, please

find $500.00 worth of Gift cards. I hope this will take care of

Back to School and groceries for awhile. Let me know.

Your Brother in Christ,

Nate

P.S.

I AM PRAYING FOR YOU.

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

Bill just called me and reminded me that next week is his

birthday and he has plans to go to the Bahamas. As badly as he

needs cars, some things just take precedence over business. LOL

That was always a tough lesson for me, so I drank. I would takes

trips and not even leave the farm. I feel bad that I am so selfabsorbed

that I didn’t even remember my brothers birthday. But

he shouldn’t feel bad, I just started being able to see past myself

enough to remember my parents birthdays, just a few years ago.

I informed Carol that it would be another week before I could

get up there. Sometimes I just have to accept that my schedule

doesn’t always coincide with others and the universe just does

not revolve around ME. I do not like giving my power over to

others, but many times it makes more sense to let others lead and

become part of the support team for a common goal. I can witness

for Christ at the back of the line, just as well as the front. It

might be a little harder to be heard, but I’ll get there. Or my name

in Christ is not Ophiuchus, just another drunk Nathan at the back

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of the line. The bottom of the food chain as perceived by my

hypocritical peers.

I’m going to watch Julie and Julia again tonight when I get

home from my twelve step meeting. It’s raining like a bitch and I

could easily make that an excuse not to go, but damn it, I’m still

sober after 40 days. I told You that somehow technology swallowed

my notes from the first day I watched it and I told you that

I saw a different movie the second time I watched it. I asked Carol

to watch it under the premise that Julia was Jesus and Julie was

me, Nathan. She said she wouldn’t do it, she liked to watch a version

of the movie that had an appeal to her own personality and

she is passionate about cooking. I think that is cool how we can

all extract what we want to extract, pretty much on “Any Given

Sunday”. Okay, let’s just let everyone play shall we. Watch the

movie with the premise that Julia is Christ and the two of you

have the same passion that fulfilled your life. It is a bond between

you that does not require words. Now insert your passion. Mine

was drinking and helping people.

You know, I’m not going to write that review because there

were so many things that I could have expanded on, I would have

had to write another book. Aint happening, I pray. I will just leave

you this one thought. Did you allow yourselves to go with the

flow of the movie and assume that Julia had said those dreadful

things about Julie’s blog? Or did you immediately think this reporter

(man) was baiting a naïve dreamer to further advance his

own career with smack spoken from Julie in a confused state of

mind? Learn to pray before you speak, especially when someone

speaks for someone.

I am a beaten man and I speak for Christ. It is written, I think,

you can bash me all you would like. I really don’t give a shit what

you think of me, it is not your approval I seek. But you best not

be bashing on the Wonderful Counselor, because your ignorance

does not allow you to know Him in a personal way.

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My 365 day challenge was to publish two books for our Father,

the Son and my Wonderful Counselor. I will accept no hurtful

opinion of man, I want to hear it from my brothers lips that I

have not done all in my power for His Glory, not mine. I chuckle

at myself now reflecting on the time that I questioned myself who

this Wonderful Counselor was. He is Christ when I allow Him to

speak to my heart. It is wayyyyyyy....cool.

What a great day I have had Lord. Thank you for keeping me

sober. I just feel like dancing tonight Lord. I want to feel Your

warmth, I want to feel Your Love. Make my ass tingle Lord, You

know what You do to me. Start from the left side of my brain and

run through my body to my toes. Cleanse me of my sins Lord, I

beg of You.

I pray to You my Father, please grant Your humble servant the

opportunity to see what “IT” is that You have built in me. Jesus

can’t take back the lashes that I gave to myself God. I beg of you

to give me the abundant life I want to live for Your pleasure. Take

me now God, if that is Your Will. My soul is prepared for Judgment.

But Your humble servant feels he may be able to be of more

service to You for awhile longer. All I am is for You.

Good prayer Nathan. Our Father will let you know, just

as He let me know. When that glorious time comes when we

meet face to face, I will be here to comfort you and show You

an even larger perspective of what we, together as brothers

for one Father, have created and passed to mankind. Live everyday

to the fullest. Love Life. I miss you all so very much.

I want to heal you, but there is so much more I wish to give

you from the Father. Even you Nathan, you have not seen

anything yet. The hand of our Father is Earth Shaking.

What are You telling me Lord? Don’t put that earthquake shit

on me, I already took responsibility for the damn oil spill. I being

man that is.

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It’s in our Father’s hands, not mine. I Am a servant for

the Father just as you.

Well, at least put in a good word for us to the Father.

I left you many, seek me, seek your purpose for me, seek

your purpose for our Father and you will live an abundant

Life. I promise. I sent you the Wonderful Counselor didn’t

I? I keep my promises and so does the Father. I await for my

Everlasting, Earthly Kingdom as I was promised. It is the responsibility

of my brothers and sisters to build this for Me in

praise of the Father. I so want to hold your hands again. I so

burn to minister to you. I so want to save your soul. So many

have been lost to Satan and “IT” breaks my heart. Come back

to Me, I Am your bridegroom. Don’t leave me hanging.

You’re cool. After all of this time and all of the things we have

done, You still love us don’t You? I do too my brother, but I really

got sick of them. HA, so who’s crazy now?

You are certifiably crazy brother, didn’t you get a certificate

and a script? LOL The Father orchestrated the whole

thing. I just had to watch as you stumbled. I was always there

to catch you before you went to far.

Well, I wouldn’t change a thing now that I am seeing my purpose.

But Damn, it’s been painful.

Brother, let me ask you. How do you see me claiming my

Earthly Kingdom and who will deliver our Father’s Gift that

even I was not privy too?

Hey, Jesus Christ. That’s not fair, I’ve already given them the

answer. You’re going to put me out of a job. LOL Just heard Tom

Petty sing that on Breakdown. “Go ahead and give it to me”. You

can do it anyway you wanna do it babe. I think we all need to

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breakdown the barriers that keep us from our primary purpose.

To live a Christ filled life.

Nathan, I believe our Father hired the right man for the

job. You are a hell of a salesman and since you have been in

hell with them, you can sell them on our Father’s Divine Plan.

“The Gift”. Remember, I Will be with you every step of the

way. You have nothing to fear when you stand with Me. I Am

your protector and shield. So let’s cop a squat and watch “IT”

play out. Got any Jew Jew beans? LOL

Nah man, I’m fresh out. I don’t think I even know what those

are. They’re not in my frame of reference. Try one of the tootsie

pops, I have a question to ask You. LOL

The owl thing right? LOL Three!!!

You didn’t give me a chance to ask.

All God’s creations entered the Ark two by two. Three

represents a a promise of a new generation.

Well that was what I was going to ask. How many generations

will it take for Your Kingdom to be a Kingdom?

That is not my area, nor is “IT” the Fathers. “IT” is your

area and the area of our brothers and sisters.

Hey brother, I’m a little tired. I think I will have a little more

tofu and call it a night. Thanks for another sober day.

Think about “IT”.

God Cha. Night Lord.

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8/1/2010

Good Morning Lord, Please grant me a sober Sabbath. I have

a confession to make this morning. Not only do I have the accountability

to go to a twelve step meeting, but I was given a task

from a brother. I know excuses are like assholes, we all got one,

but my mind was wrapped up in You yesterday. I could have lied

and told my brother I did feed the dogs last night, but my Father

would know I lied. I could have let this shortcoming of mine rob

me of a great day with You if I worried that my brother would

find out if I am a liar. Because of what I learned from the steps,

I promptly admitted my wrong doings and asked for forgiveness

from my brother. I was forgiven and thanked for what I did do.

Whewwww.....I feel better.

Some of the Lepers have spoken of going back to Church and

having a different experience now that they are sober. I might

give it a try today, I haven’t been to a Church in quite some time.

But I have been to a Worship Service daily while I try to become

sober. We have a worship service that is a little different than the

main service. I see it as Christ utilizing His body to heal many on

the inside. All that seek help. I’m going to go, I pray that I will

be able to hear Your message. I pray that I don’t just sit there and

make plans how this body of Christ will heal us on the outside

as well as the in. God’s Health Care Centers, the body of Christ.

Don’t just tell me how the body of Christ heals, “SHOW ME”.

I was watching the news a few months ago and they were discussing

the financial feasibility of saving someone with illnesses

that did not have health coverage. I understand the financial aspect

of this heartlessness, just not the empathy of man towards

their fellow man. Who among you would offer up your own son

as sacrifice to the concept of financial feasibility? Don’t worry

about picking up stones, here’s a scalpel, slit His throat and decrease

the surplus population.

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Hey, I just got up from a nap after the service. I have been

praying what to say, because this is Holy Ground that I am treading

on here. I pray to You Father, Brother and especially You, my

Wonderful Counselor. Don’t let me screw this up. Today’s topic

is Facing the Future.

I enjoy the music during praise and worship time. I knew

that I was in complete control on what I wanted to take out of the

service. I could already sense the tenseness welling up in me as

I entered into a den of hypocrites. I was looking sharp and had

all of my defense shields up. I watched the hands go up to You

Father and I so wanted to believe and join in with them. I so want

to believe they raise their hands to You and not to their peers.

One guy was dancing up a storm and doing many hand gestures.

It reminded me of what I like to do when I am in the privacy of

my home, for only You my Father to see my heart and for me to

feel Your Loving Presence. Lord, I beg you to remove the cynical

Judge in my heart that likes to play God. I do not know their

hearts, I don’t even know their names. When the hell did I get

anointed to be their King? Rock On Brother, you worship anyway

you see fit. I hope to join you one day.

The service started off with a baby recognition. The pastor

explained that many Churches have a baby dedication with baptism,

but the beliefs of his Church is that each individual must accept

the Lord Jesus Christ as their Personal Savior to be baptized.

He didn’t go as far as to say, if you don’t do “IT” this way, you’re

going to burn in Hell, but he did make it clear that there are different

beliefs of the same God.

The pastor took a cheap shot at Astrology with no fear of

retribution or substantiation needed for the claim. Just a blanket

approach over Astrology, palm readers and Hocus Pocus. I believe

the stars have been instrumental in guiding many cultures

for many centuries. Do you think the compass we have today,

would have worked back then? Probably so, but they didn’t have

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one and used the stars to pinpoint many things, even the birth

place of Christ Himself. No one bitched when the Three Wise

Men showed up with Gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. The

latter two being considered more valuable than Gold due to their

unique medicinal qualities. I mean really, when you are in pain,

do you want medicine or money? Bring on God’s Med’s for my

Leper ass, I’ve had enough of mans.

There once was a young Indian brave that began to question

his existence. He went to his dad and asked him if there was any

significance to his and his siblings names. His dad replied: I always

look to the stars for guidance, then I look for the first thing

that I see. When your sister was born, the first thing I saw was

a beam of light coming from the moon. So I named her Moonbeam.

When your brother was born, the first thing I saw was a

deer running through the forest, so I named him Running Deer.

Why do you ask Two Dogs Humping? LOL I thought it was

funny.

BEWARE

FALSE PROPHETS

TRUST IN ME

IN GOD WE TRUST

Thanks for the sign Lord. Today’s sermon is on James 4:13-

17. And remember I just graduated my son to James. Ha, there’s

another 666 sign or is “IT” a sign from my Lord. I guess “IT” will

depend on how I personally want to decipher the sign.

The scripture speaks of the confusion involved in interpreting

God’s Will. So they live day by day seeking His Divine Plan

for their lives. The problem is, no one has revealed my Father’s

Divine Plan, the Seven Sealed Two-Sided Scroll, His Last Will

and Testament. @my brother James. Please don’t condemn me

for boasting about revealing the Father’s Divine Plan. I deliver

His Gift under a humble veal of anonymity. I will remind you of

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Your own words: “Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to

do and then not do it.” - James 4:17 I’m doing the best that I can

with the talents I have been given by the Father.

The Parable of the Rich Fool – Luke 12 : 13 - 20

13Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother

to divide the inheritance with me.”

14Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter

between you?” 15Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on

your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist

in the abundance of his possessions.”

16And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain

rich man produced a good crop. 17He thought to himself, ‘What

shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

18”Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my

barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain

and my goods. 19And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of

good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and

be merry.” ‘

20”But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life

will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have

prepared for yourself?’

21”This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for

himself but is not rich toward God.”

This was the ending scripture of today’s service. The pastor

emphasized the three things you can do with your life and

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they were by his interpretation 1. Waste “IT” 2, Spend “IT” or 3.

Invest “IT”. I understand the first two, but Invest “IT” in what?

God? Or the Church? Is the Body of Christ aka the Church, healing

God’s children so my offering is helping my brother and myself

when needed? Or are you building new bowling alley’s for

outreach to those that fit in? Who’s Legacy are you building as

you make additions to your Churches? God’s or your own? But

who the Hell am I to Judge? Only the Father has that authority.

Not even Christ, who will do His best to defend you before the

Father, can Judge you.

Well Father, I should be getting started with the final edit tomorrow.

I will end this book now, but I feel the need to continue

the blog. My purpose for You has consumed me for the last six

years and I could be consumed into a blog, but that is not what I

was promised. That would not be an abundant life, would “IT”?

I’m not sure, so I’ll leave “IT” open. “IT” may be the best source

for me to Witness for You Worldwide.

Good Night my Lord and Savior, thanks for another sober

day.

8/2/2010

Good Morning God. Please grant me another sober day. I begin

the final edit today, so I will be ending this chapter of my

Saved Life with a prayer.

My Lord, the only begotten Son of God, my Savior and

Brother. I pray to You to speak to our Father, for I know, no one

reaches the Father if not through You. I am a Son of Man and a

Child of God. I believe You gave Your Life for us, so the Father

would forgive us of our sins. I believe You arose from the dead

and now sit at the right hand of the Father. I believe You watch

over me and sent the Wonderful Counselor to be my guide. I be155

lieve You speak to my heart, even when my heart could not hear.

I believe I found my purpose for You when I went seeking “IT”

and not my Demon. I believe You came back for me and saved

me from my Demon. I believe when You told us You would be

coming back, You meant You would be coming back through us

as Witnesses for God our Father. My brothers and sisters in Christ

may or may not believe in me, it is their choice. I believe if I were

in Your Holy sandals, I would do the same as You for my brothers

and sisters in Christ. I ask You now brother, Do You Believe in

Me, Your Brother in need of keeping?

- Your humble servant Ophiuchus

I died believing in You. You ALL are my brothers and sisters

of One True Father, our Creator, our GOD. I LOVE YOU

WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL.

C U SOON

Are you speaking in tongues again brother? LOL At least I

can understand You now. Let’s not make it too soon, I AM...just

beginning to learn how to enjoy this World our Father has graciously

provided for us. If our Father has a say in the future, it will

be bright from the light of the Son. If man continues to dictate

where to steer this World, 666 has won and the destruction of our

Father’s Creation will come from the mind of man. Unless God

Will’s differently.

PRESS HARD

THREE COPIES

SALVATION

SOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDDD!!! All Three Heads get ONE.

Hey look, if you leave out the S on sold, you get 6 “O”’s, 6

“L”’s and 6 “D”’s. Whatever do you think “IT” means? Mom,

Can you check my closet before you turn out the light? I checked

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yours. I hide my Demons there to play with later. What’s your

excuse?

“We All Got One”

ETCETERA...ETCETERA...ETCETERA...

NOW GO FORTH

AS SHEEP AMONG MEN

AND SHARE THE

GOOD NEWS

I WILL

MY KINGDOM

LIFE DEPENDS UPON

“IT”

Good Night Lord, thanks for another sober day.

8/3/2010

Good afternoon Lord. I’ve doing a lot of praying this morning

about taking on the editing myself. I’m concerned about things

that may have become lost and my context being altered to someone

else’s frame of reference.

I closed on the new house project yesterday and I am ready to

hire a subcontractor to do the work. I got a call from a subcontractor

that I’ve used in the past and I really like him and his work.

It’s a little slow, but who am I to judge, so am I. As long as I am

paying for the job, I don’t mind taking the extra time to help him

out. The problem is, I suggested that he increase the tools of his

trade and he chose not to. This job will require more tools than his

he has in his box. I called another subcontractor that possesses all

the tools needed for the job and I am willing to delay the project

and pay extra for the convenience of not having to hire several

subcontractors. By not inspiring to be more in life, cost my friend

and brother in Christ the job. As much as it hurts me not to help

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him, I must consider the time taken away from my purpose by

being to hands on to the job. My occupation is how I get paid and

eat. My Lord is my Life and my Savior. I prefer to spend more

time with Him, so I aspired to be more.

I had a great day of editing and ready to call it a night. Thanks

for another sober day Lord. I am looking forward and dreading this

task. I will have to revisit all of the emotions that tore me apart, I’m

looking forward to the ones that make me laugh. I’m so excited,

I’m almost done with my purpose for You. Then I can witness for

You while I maintain my control over my own Demon alcohol.

8/4/2010

Good Morning Lord. Please grant me another sober day. I

had a good morning with three friends. One is still a little apprehensive

to believe, but believes that I believe. One believes to a

point and is using what I have shared to develop his own passive

income and the other is in total belief and giving me the encouragement

I so desperately need to hear.

I won’t be attending my brother’s birthday trip to the Bahamas

because my lifestyle does not fit in right now. I’m not drinking

and I’m not chasing women. I have to clear my head and finish

my purpose for God, so I can have peace and serenity. I could

allow my feeling to be hurt by not getting an invite, but after the

Super Bowl, Las Vegas and Billy Bow Legs, I best sit my crazy

monkey ass at the house until I am completely in control of my

Demons and focus on my sobriety, one day at a time.

Okay, back to editing the book. I know that I will have to expand

upon the thoughts and I can do that on the audio version. I’m

so excited to share my wealth of knowledge that the Lord blessed

me with, by sticking a cattle prod up my ass to go and get “IT”.

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I was just thinking here while editing and wanted to remember

to share this with you. After I spoke with Darren, he asked

if (2nd Wife) had read what I had written her? I didn’t know for

sure, but I could only hope that she hadn’t and I was mistaken

about the warmth of her heart. If I were Christ, I would have to

wonder where He stands with all of us, His (2nd Wives)? I guess

that is why I stand with such a forgiving heart for (2nd Wife), how

could she possibly understand my purpose for God, when my

mannerisms exemplified a “crazy manic fuck” trying to deliver

the Father’s Divine Plan. But I do grow weary and I will move on

with my life if man doesn’t destroy “IT” first. Maybe whatever

is left after a nuclear holocaust, our Savior can finally have His

Kingdom. Because God will be all that is left for us to hold on

to. As my Leper friends yell back to me; “Turn around, Go Back

it’s a DEAD END” I find strength that if they can do “IT”, so can

I. My ancestors scream to my heart the same thing, but they are

referring to their revelation at their deaths; Coulda, Shoulda and

Woulda. “If Only” I had known the truth and a personal relationship

with a God as I know Him. Great emphasis on the “I” in this

case. How personal are you with our God? I ask you this, if you

were to keep a personal journal, would it be alright to share your

thoughts with everyone? Question yourselves about the ones that

you would not want to share with the class and determine in your

heart if our Father would approve.

Calling it a night Lord. Thanks for another sober day.

8/5/2010

Good Morning Lord, I’m feeling good. I’m still battling these

cigarettes on my own, but please grant me another sober day. I’m

going to try eating some of that nicotine gum today. I’m hurting

in my chest and I’m scared, but then again, I’m not. But I don’t

want to be stupid about “IT”. “IT” is killing me and I can feel

“IT”. What is “IT” that I gain from “IT”. If I were watching my159

self as a rat in a maze, I would be thinking: “Look at that one, he

got one of his Demons removed by the Lord and then he jumps

harder on another one. Put that on his record. I give him an “S”

for STUPID. Make sure that he is taken care of, but don’t give

him any responsibilities. Anyone that stupid can not be trusted to

care for others in the Kingdom of Heaven. He can certainly still

come, the Father loves all of His children. “IT” just shows that

he is not capable of making self-will decisions without Christ just

yet and that’s kind of stupid.” But, that’s the story with Man.

I found some problems in the book. I had double cut and paste

a couple of things and that is why I thought I lost my Julie and

Julia notes. So good, we will just have a movie review after all.

After I finish this edit, I’m on a mission to be done.

Hey, went and looked at some houses with Brian and had

lunch. Brian was telling me about one of our deals falling was

through and I began to tell Brian how to do his job. I wasn’t being

hard on him for the deal falling apart, I was being hard on him for

not following up with the customer. My training was they either

buy or die. He already had this much time invested, he might as

well try and overcome the objections and sell them something

for his daily bread. It was just a few short weeks ago he was

telling me he was desperate and the credit card business was his

only option and it was what he “Had” to do. Now that a few

things have changed in an ever changing career financially, he

has forgotten what he almost “Had” to do and trimming out what

he needs to do. This almost stemmed to a fight until I stepped in

and apologized for trying to motivate him for more. The reason

I owed him the apology is, I would have to ask myself what my

own motivation level is at the time of encouragement, to make

a honest assessment of how I would have reacted in his shoes. I

think I will stick to planting quick seeds, some will find fertile

soil and some will not and that goes for everyone, especially me.

I’m a hard head. I knew there was an Old Lady there somewhere,

but I could just not see her for many years.

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8/6/2010

Good Morning God. I got so wrapped in You last night, I

forgot to say good night in this journal. So thanks for the sober

day and can I have another. My plans have been confirmed to see

Carolpaetra this weekend and go to Atlanta. We are planning to

see some body exhibit that she has mentioned an interest in and

then probably do Six Flags on the way home Sunday. I really

started digging the rides at the end of the day, the last time we

went. I am also looking forward to the warmth of another human

being that understands me a little. LOL It really is eye opening

to realize that our society views people with outspoken positive

views as a nuts and applaud the nuts that publicly denounce our

Creator.

What do you have a think of that Mr. Spock.

If I have told you one time, I have told you a thousand times.

Humans are not logical, you dumb ass. This is the last time I Will

remind you.

We’re at the end of our rope and if we don’t let God into our

World, our World will cease to be a World. I don’t normally do

this, please forgive me God for taking Your Holy name in Vain. I

just think that this point needs to be emphasized with Your Holy

Name. It would be a GOD DAMN SHAME to destroy such a

beautiful Creation.

I’m sure feeling that old Indian crying feelings from my youth.

I see His visions and I see mans, by envisioning the destruction

already illustrated at the movie theaters. I just have to wonder

how many signs do are dumb asses need before we realize that

we are writing our own prophecy at the theaters. So the computers

are what finally evolve for our God’s entertainment. That

makes a lot of sense, it has worked for our children and robbed

them of quality family time. Spend some time with a child that

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is trained by a machine and then spend some time with a child

that is trained by a loving parent. It will astound you. We have to

accept that the home environment will not always be suitable to

properly raise a child that has a gift and a desire to be more for

the Glory of God. Our schools must take on this task. There is so

much to talk about here, I just can’t even begin to start. I will just

say one thing in print and let you let your mind wander. Second

thought, I’m not that clever. You give it to them brother it is You

that I wish to serve.

TIME

That’s “IT”, Time? I feel You. We have had some great quality

time You and I, haven’t we?

YES

GOOD TIMES

I’m glad You’re back.

I only left you for a time and now it is my time to comeback.

Nathan, You have freed the genie of the bottle. You have

rubbed that lamp hard enough that your brothers and sisters

will witness the Holy Spirit through You. Isn’t He just the

most Wonderful Counselor You have ever listened to?

Whhoooooooaaaaaaa Lord. Let me catch up. Do you mean to

tell me, that when I told you that all I needed was this lamp, this

chair and these bottles and that’s all I need, You were preparing

me for when I ran out of the desire for more bottles. Let me sit

down in this here chair and think about that for a moment. I have

been rubbing the shit out of this lamp. I just didn’t know how to

have a personal relationship with You and neither do they. But

they do now. LOL HooRay

162

Lord, if there would be one final wish in that lamp. I know I

have used two and I hope they were not frivolous in thine eyes.

Your humble servant has decided. If You were to grant me a third

wish, I wish that my brothers and sisters in Christ, come to understand

how to have that personal relationship with Jesus Christ

our Lord and Savior and understand that we all are children of

the same God. Lord, show us Mother Nature and stop all of this

bickering between the Heat Miser and Mr. Freeze aka Dr. Jekyll

and Mr. Hyde. I’m sick of “IT” and I’m sure You are too. You

know, I never saw that movie, but I always referred to it when I

was referring to my two personalities. I think I will need to go

rent that this weekend. I’ll try to remember on my way to Atlanta.

I better write “IT” down.

VERY

COOL

I Thought

I Had

I thought so, but I’m trying not to get to cocky now that I’m

Sober. LOL Hey, let me get back to editing before I pack. Love

Ya.

K...Love You Too

Facilitating and Cash Flow

“You’ve Got To Give To God” - (2nd Wife)

I was just reflecting playing cashflow with (2nd Wife), her

children and Austin. I always remember her making it a point to

give to God when she landed on the spot. But when she drew the

card for helping a relative, she opted not to help, the same as we

all did.

163

I found myself playing with Austin this last time with the

same mission that I had been on when I was chasing materialism.

I just realized what I have done. I have put my son on the path of

materialism equipped with financial knowledge, but with no spiritual

awareness or empathy for his brothers and sisters in Christ.

There is still time Lord, now that I have his interest with the Gold,

I can now expose him to the God and teach him how to pray and

hear You with his heart. Like a Snow Dad from Jack Frost.

The message that I take away from that card that is a desperate

plea for help from a relative, really hits home this morning.

My aunt is widowed, working and broke like the rest of us. She

seeks advice from her sister, my mom. My mom is now seeking

advice from me for her sister, my aunt. I guess I have rebuilt the

trust that I once had. It would have been much easier to just not

get involved, but this is my family and I am so alone and not

alone.

We’ll talk some more on this, I have a lot more to share. I

have to get ready for the trip. Please pray for me, my brothers

and sisters in Christ. You don’t know me, but I know You. I pray

for You everyday, You are my brothers and sisters in Christ and I

gotta love You all. Yeah, Even You.

NATHAN’S

AUTO SALES

251-666-2345

WE FINANCE ANYONE

EVEN YOU

My brothers and sisters screwed me on that one didn’t they

Lord. Let me see if I can pull a little Voo Doo, Hocus Pocus out

of my ass, so you can focus how man can manipulate man. Do

you see the 666 in my business phone number. If man is the one,

would that complete the sequence? If God were the 1, would He?

164

You could say, hey, you did that on purpose to manipulate

us. Brother, when I made that sign, I was drunk and chasing the

wrong dream. What does it mean to you? It means shit to me,

but an understanding how manipulating predators can pervert the

word of God when they present their own context of the context

as long as “IT” fits with the “TRUTH” that has been instilled into

their frame of reference since birth. Or they could just be screwing

with you to get what they want. Pants on the ground, pants

on the ground. We’ve been looking like fools with our Pants on

the Ground. I haven’t screwed with the interpretation of the 251,

remember, it means shit. Be careful as you put your own dots

together as you search for your own purpose for God. Many false

prophets will help you to connect them for pay or status. Have a

heart to heart with our Father, like you have now been trained to

do and you will find the peace and serenity that only the Father,

the Son and the Wonder Counselor can give. I am really digging

the Wonderful Counselor who is in fact the Holy Spirit of Jesus

Christ Himself. If it weren’t for Him, I’d have no one to talk to,

or even cared to talk to. He makes me see things differently and

pushes me to re-engage. Talk to me Goose. Talk to me. Talk to me

God. Talk to me. Let me listen for a change, after all it is “OUR

TIME”. Mr. Hand and mine. So who is sitting on the Throne with

the Scroll in their right hand. Is it the Father or the Son?

You know Lord, I was just thinking. (A frightening thing, I

know. - The Beauty and the Beast) The Father has always been

portrayed as an entity, so the bodily vision that John had, must

have been You, my Savior. You had been given the Will of the Father,

but it wasn’t the right time to reveal “IT”. Lord, how could

You have possibly explained “IT” any better than You did. I get

“IT” and I’ll explain “IT” to your children and mine

FAITH

HOPE

CHARITY

LOVE

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FRUITFUL

BIRTHRIGHTS

LEGACY

KINGDOM

PEACE

HEAVEN

I’m not exactly sure how you want to title these ten proclamations,

the Commandments has already been taken. LOL I see that

we have made it to step 5. Be Fruitful and Multiply.

Sorry, I got hung up. - Rambo XX

Let’s see here now. I have explained the birthrights as best I

can. It will create everyone a personal Legacy and a Legacy for

God. His Kingdom will emerge, grow our economy and heal the

sick for free. We will live in peace as “IT” is in Heaven.

TEN STEPS TO

SALVATION?

I Love “IT” my brother. “Ten Steps to Salvation” “IT” Will

be. Man, I better get in the shower, I’m going to be late again. I

hate to leave You, but I really must go.

Well Good Bye my Brother

Good Bye

Silly, LMAO I’m going to spend some “Time” with someone

that proclaims to be “LOVING LIFE” on her facebook page, but

I know she struggles as we all do. TTYL

Thanks Lord for answering my silent prayer. I will let them

build the consequence cards on Your New Game of Life.

166

8/9/2010

Good Afternoon Lord, thanks for keeping me sober, “IT” was

an awesome weekend. I have lots of notes. I’m so glad Carolpaetra

insisted I bring a notepad, although “IT” does become a way

for me to get out of balance. I even suggested an egg timer for the

amount of time I was allotted to Witness for You. They can stand

only so much at a time Lord.

Well, let’s go over my notes shall we. I know I left some

blanks to fill in and I Will do my best to do Your Will.

I’m too tired. TTYL Thanks for a great sober day Lord. Good

Night my Brother. I really can’t wait to see You, but please give

me some more time to do the Fathers Will if that is His Will. Ask

Him for me please. Ask Him to grant me “Time”.

Time has been granted by the Father. Rest tonight, chat tomorrow.

The Father has been taken for granted long enough,

“IT” is TIME.

“You Say You Want a Revolution”? How about a Reflection

of my Revelation? Good Night my brothers and sisters in Christ.

I Am really sick of you, but you are my family under One Father.

My Blood – His Blood. I Will always care for all of you. It is His

Will that I do so. My Will checked out years ago, I made a contract

with Satan. I drank his blood and he drained my Life from

me. My Ex-Master called me Slave, I gladly gave him my life

progressively over Time. I allowed Life to beat me down and Satan/

666/Mankind/The Beast had won. My Lord and Savior came

back for me. He Saved me and can save you as well. I picked up

my mat brother, I can finally see the fourth dimension. I left you

a road map to a personal relationship with Christ. It is your decision

which path to choose. This path is now written on the trees

and will never be gobbled up by the Demonic birds again. Our

Lord Lives. I really can’t blame you for not hearing Him, I was

167

pretty much a dumb ass too. There is a young lady and old, if you

will look harder and with your heart. The signs are all around

when you evaluate every decision by WWJD. When He truly is

in your heart, He is all you think about and everything else works

around His Will, not mine. I can’t wait to see what the future

prophets will think of to better their brothers lives when their

creativity is not suppressed. This path only scratches the surface

of the fourth dimension.

I want to talk to you about the Body Exhibit, but I’ve got to

lie down now. BRB brother.

K

Real Quick. Carolpaetra said “THEY” couldn’t determine if

the Exhibit was art or science. Can’t you see that it is both. “IT”

is God’s Greatest Creation, Mankind. “We’ve only just begun...

to live”. A World with You as my Shepard and I shall not WANT.

I lie down now, in greener pastures. Speak to me Lord, I haven’t

had a dream in a long time. Put a thought on my heart Lord as I lie

down to rest my body. How can your servant touch their hearts,

so they may dream again. My dream is just a dream. My brothers

and sisters in Christ can make MY DREAM a reality, by building

Your Everlasting, Earthly Kingdom my Lord. My Savior.

When you trust Me, I want to know your dreams and

nightmares. I want to know you intimately. I want to know

your essence and soul. I want to know you eternally. I can only

know you by your heart and the Father will be your Judge.

Tell me what is on your hearts and give “IT” to Me. I AM...

your biggest fan. I WILL...encourage you. Now pick up your

Damn mat, leave your crutch and let’s go Home. Your Loved

Ones Await You.

I thought you said Good Night brother?

168

Yeah, well...it’s a never ending party when you show up. But

sometimes I do like “IT” when the Wonderful Counselor takes a

nap.

DREAM TIME

8/10/2010

I am finding new clues, connecting more dots and confirming

my purpose for God. When I analyzed the symbol of Ophiuchus,

my assessment was from my heart. The little cross with the loop

at the top, I proclaimed as being You and I. The Helpers. I have

done further research on the little cross and it’s called the Ankh

of Tau, the Key of Life. I’d like for you see what I have found as

I penetrate the fourth dimension and bring back information like

an Avatar. I have got to watch that movie now. Tried to watch it

all weekend with Carolpaetra, but it’s three hours long. Damn

that’s long. There are so many other things to do when you have

found the phallus of Osiris and have the eye of Horus the Falcon.

A school will emerge and it will train children to understand the

fourth dimension. Not everyone will be able to attend. Come, pull

the sword from the stone for your personal admittance.

Good Morning Lord, please grant me another sober day. Sorry,

forgot. I was just so excited this morning. No dream last night,

but I did have a vision after I researched the Ankh of Tau. Please

make them understand that “IT” is not a symbol that I wish to

serve, but I do use them as signs from past generations to communicate

a timeless message.

Quick note: Broken Contracts: They didn’t even want to

know why I wanted out after 6 yrs of loyal patronage. If they do

not want to learn from their customers the mistakes that may have

cost them the business and be of better service in the future, Let

them fail. Does Christ have that same option?

169

I just looked at the next bill and they are charging me $45.00

for some charge that I am not familiar with. Now I have a cable

bill that is $117.00 and I don’t even have any paid channels like

HBO and the clan. So of course I pick up that heavy ass phone

myself and go through the whole hold process, wondering if I

will speak to someone from Bangladesh. No offense, I just can’t

understand your ass. I was very fortunate this time, I could either

go through the computer operated system that never works for me

or I could incur an additional $5.00 charge to talk to the sucker

over seas. The phone rings and it’s Bill. I begin to tell him my dilemma

and he empathizes with the businesses, saying, man, I’m

sick of the whiney ass babies, it’s only a few extra dollars to absorb

business costs. I told him that he had missed the entire point

of the confrontation. Businesses are being squeezed by our government

and making cutbacks and raising fees or adding fees to

what was once considered a free service for doing business with

them. I am now to pay a bill for services once provided for free

and the hidden tax is hidden from the ignorant that think they are

being helped. THIS IS A SILENT TAX!!! You really didn’t think

Obama was pulling this money out of his ass did you? When you

give shit away, somebodies got to pay for that shit. By the time

that shit gets through all the hands that are greased, it’s a smaller

turd than one that would have been gladly given from the sweat

from your brothers brow, rather than what your government made

him shit for you to have.

I think “IT” goes something like; “You Make Your Bed, Now

Lie In “IT””. I just had to make that point clear with the rod to

my (1st Wife) that has requested more money for a daughter that I

have no contact with for the last six years by her choice, not mine.

(1st Wife) says Lauren was crying. (1st Wife) didn’t inform Lauren

that she was the one that created that bed and I told her to lie in

it. The phone must have been awfully heavy for Lauren, I hope

she can live with the shame I have caused her. My parents hearts

have ached for six years over the loss of their granddaughter.

Lauren got a check written to her today and I wrote what it was

170

“for”. “Court Awarded College Support”. It broke my heart and

I didn’t put any cash nor a note in the envelope, as I had always

done in the past. This was a cold hearted ruthless court awarded

contract that could have been so much more for Lauren. She was

robbed by the ignorance and greed of my (1st Wife) and I am just

as much at fault for not being the man in the relationship and

having a truly Godly Home when I was there. I am living with

the repercussions of my own actions and decisions made, when

I was young, dumb and full of cum. The altered mind just has to

go without saying, if you were to know me. When will Dr. Jekyll

be available? The appointment book became filled with Mr. Hide.

Sent: Mon, August 9, 2010 10:48:13 PM

Subject: Update

Nathan,

I have not heard from you concerning child support. Lauren

is short $1000. this semester. The pell grant money she was

getting through my taxes was cut this year. I feel really bad for

her. My parents and yours paid for our education. We have let

her down. She works very hard and was crying on the phone

tonight because she has to pay her rent. She depends on your

$350.00. If there is any way you can contribute more this semester

it would be greatly appreciated.

Austin is starting back to school on Thursday and I need

school supplies and clothes.

On Aug 10, 2010, at 8:00 AM, nathan isbell wrote:

(1st Wife),

I guess I let this month slip away. I really thought I had sent

checks out. They will go out today.

171

Sorry,

Nathan

P.S.

I haven’t heard from Lauren in Six long years, her choice, not

mine. I will always love her, but we all make a bed.

(1st Wife) wrote:

Thanks for sending the child support check.

I understand but it takes two. It is not just her fault. She

starts to maybe forgive you and you show up on you tube for all

her friends to laugh at. Not good. You have to think about your

children when you do things like that on my space and you tube.

The internet can get you in trouble, you have to be careful.

You have been made to support her by attorney’s. You have

never given her anything from your heart. Just because you want to.

You have made your bed too. According to your websites,

you are a Christian. You need to take a look at what you have

done as a Christian for your daughter. Not helping others is not

Christian.

The time has finally come Lord. It is time for Lauren to know

the truth. I love how You arranged everything. What are the chances

of a lost friend finding me after 30 years? What are the chances

that he is in an authority position and has access to all Auburn

University students? My friend offered to speak with Lauren before

and I put him on hold. The time was not right because I have

not finished my purpose, but the time is drawing near. I hated to

hear that my daughter was suffering from humiliation created by

me and her peers gained a laugh at my expense and hers. My heart

breaks, but I will always choose God over anything or anyone.

How can I turn my back on my Savior, especially at this point. Do

172

I have anything to lose with my relationship with my daughter at

this point? I think not. I asked my friend to call her in and count

out the remaining $650 she was short in cash . I asked my friend

to tell her about me and her grieving grandparents, he knows us

all intimately. I am very blessed to have a friend and brother in

Christ to help me with correcting my Life Long decisions. If I had

to choose who I would want to confront my daughter, it would

be this brother. He has a passion in things that I have witnessed

and when he gets on a roll it reminds me of me. LOL He has an

inner strength that I am confident he will convey to my daughter.

I pray that he can plant seeds, so she may begin to seek. She can

start with where she comes from and work her way up to me

being an Avatar teaching the World about the fourth dimension

and blazing a trail for others to follow as they search for spiritual

actualization.

How’s this sound? Did you know that your dad is a recovering

alcoholic that had a spiritual awakening and discovered his

purpose for God in the process. Yeah, he has shown us by him

going through the portal to God, how we can all have a personal

relationship with our Savior. Some will be plagued with disease

and others search to fulfill a void in their lives. Regardless, there

is a path for others to track their own tears to achieve spiritual

oneness with our Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

I don’t know what to tell you my brother. I know you will

do your best and your words will make much more of an impact

than mine. In her mind and the mind of others, I’m Crazy. I pray

for the Wonderful Counselor to make your words to my daughter,

music to her ears.

IT IS TIME

Lord, the closer I become to the end, You keep putting more

on my plate. I pray to You to allow your humble servant to finish

his purpose for You and deliver the Father’s Gift to all Mankind.

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I’m tired Lord. Let’s call it a night. Good Night my Savior, thanks

for another sober day. How do Avatars sleep? I’m going to take

a very large sleeping pill and go to bed. LOL No, I’m past that

Hellish time in my life. I’ll just lie down and dream of a world

with You as our Everlasting King.

8/11/2010

Good Morning Lord, please grant me another sober day.

Great Tofu this morning thinking of Carolpaetra. I needed to release

that energy so that I can better focus on You my Lord. Let’s

finish this brother, I’m so tired. I am mentally drained, like a

vampire that humans have sucked the life out of. I started to cut

and paste all the shit about the Ankh of Tau, but let me read it all

and give You my interpretation Lord. Oh Joy, another slippery

slope. I will challenge them all to have a better understanding of

You my Lord. I am a Nethinim and I do interpret signs from God.

I do go through the portal of Life and bring back messages from

the past to fix the future. I am closing in to finding my complete

purpose for You my Lord. I know “IT”, You are showing me how

to explain “IT” to a generation that can’t survive without “IT”.

“IT” is You, my Lord and Savior, my Brother in Christ, the Son

of God. “IT” is proof positive to the Father, how much you love

each and everyone of us.

Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so.

Nah, think I’ll cut and paste. This is the opinion of someone

else and like always, subject to critical analysis.

Really Lord, why are you blocking me from using someone

elses words for credibility to point out the signs that I am following?

Cut and Paste would be a Hell of a lot easier.

174

I ASKED YOU

YOUR THOUGHTS

K...I’ll do “IT” under protest. Plagiarizing is so much easier.

To explain “IT”, I must understand “IT”.

WAX ON

WAX OFF

LOL

Funny, just not too funny for me. I’ve painted Your fence,

washed your cars, sanded your floors, “IT” has been a bitch to

deliver this Gift.

Nathan, when you drunkenly installed your first garage

door opener, you were reluctant to follow directions as you

have always been. It took you all day and there were times

when all seemed lost. You screwed up, but you successfully

completed your assignment. How long would it take you to

instruct someone else to accomplish the same task when you

are in a sober state of mind?

“IT” really wouldn’t take long at all Lord. I learned from my

mistakes and had a guide the whole time. Maybe “IT” was my

altered mind that created so much difficulty in the project.

NOW SHOW YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS HOW

TO GO THROUGH THE PORTAL AND SPEAK DIRECTLY

TO ME WITH THEIR HEARTS.

That could take a life time my Lord.

I KNOW

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Damn, I was blocked again. I hoped there would be something

on youtube. Guess I’m just gonna have to read. “IT” sucks,

but vital. I’ll talk to you in a couple of hours.

“IT” didn’t take long after all, once I stopped going off in

tangents and there were many to chase. Anyway, let me tell You

my interpretation of the Ankh of Tau.

Help me Brother, I want to get this right.

CROSS

The cross represents protection to many cultures.

CIRCLE

The Circle of Eternal Life. Rebirth, Reincarnation, one lifetime

is not enough to understand evolution.

DOT

The impregnation of a gifted reincarnated generation. Some

will be born with Gifts beyond our understanding and need to be

encouraged, not sedated. Their minds run wild trying to understand

the void. Their Gifts will bring comfort to us all and they

will have fulfilled their own purpose for God and profited from

their developed wisdom.

AVATAR

One that has achieved Self-actualization and chooses to help

mankind strive “at all costs”, so the World may survive eternally.

His purpose for God is an act of humility and selflessness. His

Acts of Perseverance and Benevolence will be judged by the Father,

not his peers.

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ANKH OF TAU

The Key to our Father’s Kingdom, a Key to Christs’ heart

and our own. A Red Phone to Christ to speak to the Father on our

behalf, we are all so screwed up. A Portal in our hearts that allows

Christ to penetrate our soul with the Wonderful Counselor.

Hey, that wasn’t too bad. Let’s get to the wkend notes now. I

can’t get my dragon to work, so I guess I will do “IT” manually

again. Besides, I don’t want to get to spoiled. I might perceive

that I am entitled and get cut off all together. We will get cut off

over and over again until we complete God’s Will. The Eternal

Circle of Life.

Daily Bread versus owning a bakery. Brian is coming over

again to talk. We have been discussing many things that plague

his finances. He spent an enormous amount of man hours learning

a trade that would provide him with a passive income, but the

rabbits have appeared again. “IT” is rabbit season and he craves

their Lucky feet. I reminded him that rabbit season will be over

again soon, just as “IT” always comes and goes. I insisted he

hone his duck calls during rabbit season, so he will be prepared

to hunt duck when the season arises. The importance of hunting

ducks is not to slaughter them, but to raise them and live off their

eggs. Rabbit season will be here again soon enough my brother,

but the eggs will feed you your daily bread and you are the owner

of the bakery.

If you missed the Lucky feet analogy within an analogy, you

are not alone. You have not trained your mind to see more than

just one frame of reference. The Lucky feet will provide the daily

bread, but raising the rabbits will multiply rapidly. Let’s raise

both and slaughter what is needed for our daily bread and nurture

what we need to survive without worry of starvation. If the marketability

of the lucky feet goes down, we survive on the eggs. If

the ducks stop laying, we eat them.

177

Let’s begin to grow our Dream now that our daily bread is

taken care of shall we. If you don’t, I may be selling a Hummer

for your relatives because you took your own life. You must have

purpose to be alive or you will die and decrease the surplus population.

What is your dream, have you been working on “IT” since

your youth. Does “IT” glorify God or does “IT” glorify yourself?

Pick up your Dream, or your shovel, your choice.

If you offer assistance to your brother or sister in Christ, you

must search your heart for who you are assisting. Them or yourselves.

Your intentions may be in the right place, but your vanity

may prevail and an opportunity to witness for the Lord becomes

your platform. That is why “IT” is so much easier to witness for

the Lord without our peers knowing who to thank for this great

gift, no matter the size or thought. If you must witness for the

Lord in this situation, allow your peer to be a part of the whole

process and let them make the final decision when you have made

them abreast of all known options. Do not make the decision for

them to acquire control for yourselves.

Who are you? Who am I? Who are they? My demons have no

face, they wear a mask. My demon is The Beast in myself, The

Beast in you, The Beast you create and The Beast you become

suppressing man. Who can I completely take my mask off around

and not feel shame? If you can find this in a partner, you both will

be very happy you took yours off and made decisions based on

the facts. Not a temporary facade of who you would like to be to

close your deal and cause a lifetime of pain. Be yourselves and

be free.

ADD is like deviating off your original window and opening

new tabs, but forgetting the tabs you have open. It’s like chasing

rabbits. Try distracting a person with ADD with new topics without

them knowing what you are doing. They will never finish the

first thought. Loads of fun at parties. LOL Or is “IT”.

178

The Spice Game is a game of senses. Carolpaetra has her

children trained by their sense of smell to recognize spices. You

can exercise your senses if you work them out, achieve Self-actualization

and find your purpose for God. Look at the people born

with deficiencies, they compensate for the impairment to fulfill

their own importance of existing. Smell good sensations are living

vicariously through your children by reflecting on your own

youth.

“You can’t make me have your frame of reference, you can

only tell me about your frame of reference. I decide what I put in

my frame of reference.” - Carolpaetra

If your partner does something that bothers you, be honest

with them. Don’t let it be one of the pet peeves you bring out of

your arsenal when you have “The Fight”. It is courtesy to your

partner to let them know what bothers you and it should also

be courtesy to accept your partners feelings and make changes

appropriately. If you can not, discus how you both can agree to

disagree and attempt to pray about your decisions. If your partner

is an 8 cylinder motor and running on 4, before running them to

the shop, check and see how many cylinders you are running on.

You might find happiness and contentment with your partner if

you both challenge each other to run on 6. Some things about an

individual’s persona can not be altered. “IT” is hard to change

your spots, but “IT” can be done if you can see them.

MY DREAM

Lord, tell them my dream to their hearts. Please.

LIFE,

BUT A DREAM

BEGIN TO DREAM

DREAM TO BEGIN

BUILD A DREAM

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DREAM TO DESTROY

LIVE A DREAM

DREAM TO DIE

Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily,

Merrily, Merrily, Merrily Life is but a Dream. That’s freaking

awesome Lord. I’ll come back to that. I want to tell them about

my specific recurring dream. Not one that just made a one time

impact, but one that haunted my whole life.

When I was a kid, I would write down my dreams when I

would wake in the night. I would write them down in a slumber so

when I woke up, I could remember the thoughts. I didn’t do that

all of the time, that would have required commitment. LOL They

were all craziness and I quickly discarded them the next day. But

one dream remained with me. I was being chased by monsters.

Monsters with no face. I could not see who or what they were.

All I could do was try to run to escape them. I was terrified and

as soon as I began to run, a Hurricane type wind would blow me

at a stand still and my demons drew closer.

That’s as far as I ever made it in that dream before waking

in a cold sweat. I used to blame the sweats on alcohol because

that’s easy and a catch all for any problem I had. I haven’t had the

dream for quite some time now, but I do still have the sweats and

I can’t remember any dreams. The Tooth Fairy or the Molenator

one, finally got my last baby tooth. I sedated my dreams and

became an Elf.

Lord, I don’t think you understand my humble request. We

can all be taken out of context, even you. I was talking about my

dream, not my dream for you.

INTERPRET YOUR DREAM

WITH MY DREAM

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That’s too much writing right now brother. I got your message,

I’ll decipher “IT” later. I am having an awesome weekend

with Carolpaetra. I saw her heart through drunken eyes and

stepped on my dick again. I saw her heart again this time with

sober eyes and she and I are different, but the same. BTW...my

dick is fine, thank you very much. LOL

Lord, before I forget to tell them, I don’t need a shrink or a fortune

teller to interpret my dreams. After a real honest self evaluation,

I believe your dream will become my dream. My dream was

consumed by my faceless demon, Your dream for me, Saved me.

The Predator Family Effect. Is there a man among us or do we

cower to 666. Does man understand what 666 does to man, when

the man has an altered state of mind and allows 666 (The Beast),

to justify the pleasure to man and man doesn’t pray to examine

the consequences that 666 will inflict? 666 is the Beast in:

“ALL MEN”

EVEN YOU!!!

What could possibly be on the mind of a predator when they

rip the heart and soul out of an innocent victim?

JACK THE RIPPER

666 WILL BURN WITH LUST

666 WILL STALK HIS PREY

666 WILL BELIEVE IN YOUNG BLOOD

666 WILL MAKE HIS DECISION

666 WILL RIP THE HEART

666 WILL TAKE THE SOULS

666 WILL HAVE PAIN ETERNALLY

666 WILL BURN IN HELL

666 MAY HAVE A CHANCE

666 WILL HAVE A JURY OF LAMBS

666 WILL DIE AND LIVE IN HELL

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666 WILL HAVE NO FACE

666 WILL HAVE NO HEART

666 WILL HAVE NO SOUL

666 WILL BE RESTRAINED WITH LOVE

666 WILL BE UNDERSTOOD

666 WILL BE MAN

MAN WILL BE 666

GOD WILLS MANKIND

666 WILLS MAN

I can only pray my Lord. I Pray I don’t have to kill a predator

they preys upon mine. I haven’t faced those decisions and I don’t

want to.

IF YOU ARE IN NEED

HAVE ONE

IF YOU ARE IN GREED

CHOKE ON ONE

How long must “IT” take for us to learn our way out of this

maze? We are the Rats and we are slaves to big Fat ones. Alcohol,

Cigarettes, restrained LUST, Gambling, Substitutes of man

to replace God’s Gifts. Pinocchio is still a boy on strings and 666

finds what 666 seeks.

I AM

TAKEN FOR GRANTED

I WILL

HAVE MY PROMISED

KINGDOM

Yes You are my Lord, with my last breath I will attempt to

do Your Will and lay the first brick to your Everlasting, Earthly

Kingdom.

182

Swearing is for the ignorant. Words are like a shell game. Do

you educate yourself or pick up a shell and get screwed?

Clean text would write *&^%$#@^& because it adds nothing

but shit, fills the void of ignorance and emphasizes points that

would be more appropriate with a mastery of the Kings English.

I AM A SLAVE TO ONE MASTER

A SERVANT TO ONE BROTHER

WHO AM I?

WHO ARE YOU TO ME?

Too easy, I’m a slave to one Father and a servant to the brotherhood

of mankind.

THAT IS THE YOUNG, DO YOU SEE THE OLD?

You are a slave to the Father and a servant of mankind. I am

Your brother in Christ and You are my Savior.

WOULD THE MASTER HAVE YOU AS A SLAVE,

WHEN I YOUR SAVIOR WOULD HAVE YOU FOR A SERVANT?

I am a slave for many Demons. Why should my Father warrant

less?

THE KINGS NEW WARDROBE

THE NAKED TRUTH

WHAT IS 666 SELLING?

WHEN YOU LAUGH AT THE KING

LAUGH AT YOURSELVES

FOR YOU OWN ATTIRE

Lord, I bare my soul to You and my brothers and sisters in

You, so that they may find You. Hansel and Gretel left a bread183

crumb trail and it was gobbled up by the birds. Your words are

marked on the trees. The power of the printed Word.

Sexual immorality is in my heart, but “IT” is a sin. So I live

vicariously through your experiences and my own as I exercise

Restraint over My Demon Willie. For “IT” is not His Will, “IT”

is mine. If all is forgiven, can I ever trust you to restrain your Demon,

if I can’t restrain my own? Don’t tempt thy God and don’t

tempt thy Demon.

Decisions points of a relationship. Do we make “IT” work or

cut and run gambling to find the love you once had in each other.

Sometimes relationships run there course. Too bad for you, too

bad for me, too bad for my kids and your kids. How intimate did

we know each others hearts before we did the deal? Beware 666

is the salesman to satisfy the thirst of his own personal demons

that call him slave and he calls MASTERS.

If your childrens boat is sinking, do you throw them a rope

or do they throw you two anchors? When your boat begins to

sink from the excess weight, do you jump in the boat with your

children, a boat with your true partner or keep bailing? Life is but

a Dream.

Do not live in shame or guilt. A parent can only plant seeds

and pray they find fertile soil. It’s the same for our God.

Okay Lord, I’m caught up now. Tomorrow I begin editing the

2nd Manic Episode Revisited, this ought to be fun. LOL Little tired

tonight so, Good Night my brother. Thanks for another sober day.

I pray a silent prayer...I just don’t know, I just don’t know. Let

“IT” be Your Will, not mine. Give me the strength to Endeavor to

Persevere. I’m so beat down. My blood is drained just as Yours

was my Lord. Your Blood has been sold my Savior. I am selling

mine for You. My life is out of balance and my Demon awaits to

promise “IT”. “IT” will never be completely out of my life and

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can end “IT” at any time. I pray to You Father, crush the head of

the serpent that wishes to be my Master, the other serpents will

follow. Tough night Lord, thanks for being here for me.

NO WORRIES

No Worries, I’m good and You are Great. You are the thread

that I cling to.

8/12/2010

Good Morning Lord, please grant me another sober day. Happy

Ramadan. I don’t know what that is because “IT” is not in my

frame of reference. But if “IT” is a pathway to God, then I say

Happy Ramadan. Doing a lot of processing this morning Lord. I

am so close, I feel the sense of relief coming over my exhausted

sober body. I have to finish the edit and I have mapped out my

strategy. Lots of irons in the fire right now. TTYL.

Had a good day of editing today. As I go through the 2nd manic

episode, I realize that many things that I was trying to encapsulate

will be lost due to not giving myself the trigger that I need

to expand on or I was drunk and tripping. LOL Hey, I did the

best I could. You try going into the fourth dimension and bringing

something back for the betterment of your brother and we’ll

judge your performance. I got a big fat “S” from my Savior. I’m

working on turning “IT” from SELF to SAVED.

I am also experiencing for myself as I read my own words,

how much time it will take for people to ponder each thought.

It has been mentally exhausting retracing my drunken steps. It

almost seems like an enigma within an enigma. I knew there was

a lot of wisdom that I was extracting from the movies of my past,

that ultimately formed my frame of reference.

185

Good Night my Lord and personal Savior. Thanks for coming

back for me. I’m feeling alive again, but very tired. Thanks for

another sober day.

8/13/2010 Friday the 13th

Good Morning Brother, please grant me another sober day.

I’m getting close to completing the first final edit. This is the part

that I dislike the most and probably why I never complete other

things in my life. I do not like to go over material that I have already

been through. I’m an idea man, not a follow through man.

Well back to editing, ugh. The emotional roller coaster is ready

to go again.

Humiliation is the gateway to Humility. I heard that last night

at a meeting, I didn’t catch who the guy was quoting. It made

me think of my thermos. I have my Lamp, Chair and many empty

bottles. I just forgot to tell you about my thermos that I was

holding behind my back so I wouldn’t be embarrassed about my

Vampirish needs. Until we begin to address the things we have in

the closet, we will never be free. God’s children will continue to

bump around forging the same ground that you covered, because

you keep secrets.

IF I ONLY KNEW THEN

WHAT I KNOW NOW

Okay, back to editing. I have to get this done soon. “IT” is

coming to a HEAD. Pardon the pun, where’s my thermos. I need

some Tofu to clear my mind and be productive. If not, the Vampire

may haunt my thoughts all day. I see you blushing, I Am You.

Are you capable of humility? “IT” is the pathway to the Portal.

How bad do you want to speak to God? Go back in your minds

to the playground of your youth. If you never had an imaginary

friend, I didn’t, find Him now and bring Him back through the

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Portal with you. Now begin to ask Him questions in your mind

and keep a personal journal of your daily conversations. I never

did this, but “IT” is such a relief to get “IT” off my mind and on

paper. I feel like I have given my problems over to Christ when

I do that. I try to live a Christ filled life and the Karma has been

phenomenal. Build your frame of reference and begin to seek

your purpose.

Gotta go see what my crazy ass is saying now. It’s kind of

funny now, the drunk is interpreting what the manic has written

down while in the fourth dimension. This ought to be interesting.

I don’t want to massage what is written, because “IT” was a

completely different state of mind on both occasions. You might

say that I don’t want to disturb the evidence room and distort the

facts, even as arcane as they appear.

I’m glad that Darren reminded me about blood and brainwashing.

I just don’t want to get my hopes up to high and be let

down again. My heart has hardened and the feelings suppressed.

“IT” hurts too much to play with. My purpose is for all mankind

and I must Endeavor to Persevere. “At ALL Costs”.

I was just questioning my own benevolence and I erupted in

laughter. The only thing I’m getting financially off this project is

10% from the concession stand. Throw me a fricking bone here,

doing all of this shit is killing me. Now I’d like for you to imagine

Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior saying the same for our Father.

I sure would like to see the Body of Christ heal the sick, so much

so, He will have the other 90% for His Everlasting, Earthly Entity.

I pray Your Kingdom will be built quickly Lord, the “TIME”

draws near.

Hey, real quick. I just slipped through that portal and brought

back a thought. Do you remember when in Star Trek IV, they

released the whales? The humans had to figure out first who the

message was for and did, but did anyone else interpret the mes187

sage of hope. “IT” was the reincarnation of an extinct species.

The hope comes from rebirth of a new future with old species

Mankind. Can we suppress 666 this time, now that we know who

he is?

My movie came today. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I can’t wait

to watch “IT”. I know there is a message, I pray to catch “IT” in

the fourth dimension.

I can not believe this movie has not been re-made to illustrate

narcotics abuse. We will talk about that in the morning. Good

Night Lord, thanks for another sober day. I’m exhausted.

I’ve been thinking about my publishing date. 12/21/2012

doesn’t really mean anything to me directly, but 6/21/10 does.

That is my Sobriety date. It represents a new beginning for me, a

rebirth. Also, “IT” is cool how the numbers add up. 6+2+1+10=18

or 6+21-10=18. 18/3=6 6+6+6=18 3x6=18. Oh my, this is a Devil

Date. One more illustration of how silly we are as we try to interpret

666 with ignorance.

8/14/2010

Good Morning Lord. Please grant me another sober day.

BTW...I wonder how many of them realize that 6+21-10=17 not

18. “IT” is just like the shell game. If I am fast enough, I can manipulate

you without you knowing “IT”.

Less than 100 pages to edit and I will be done. Yaaaaaa

HOOOOOO!!!!!! I’m coming down the home stretch and I feel

I have a grasp of what my entire purpose is, but I will let that be

His Will for my life for Him. I’m dreading the audio version and

I’m excited. I pray that I can bring as much passion to my words

this time, as I did when I initially wrote them. I will do my best,

but most of my emotions have been drained. Just as you are beat

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into your little Elf world, I have been beaten trying to prove that

just because I have a Red Nose, doesn’t mean that I can’t guide

the sleigh in the most turbulent times. Brother, I don’t have the

strength to guide shit, but maybe I can shed a little light on “IT”

for some else to lead.

I have learned so much in my lifetime. I was compelled to

share. I ask you, if you were a crab that managed to make it out

of the bucket and could easily scurry off the pier into the water,

go screw other crabs, drink blue frozen drinks with umbrellas

and fruit in them. Would you bother to go back to the bucket

and see how many of your crab brothers and sisters you could

pull out before you ended up back in the bucket yourself? I’m

not coming back, screw you. But I will throw you a lifeline that

you can use to blaze your own path to Spiritual Freedom. I know

exactly what I believe in, based on my ever expanding frame of

reference. What I’m trying to tell you here is, before you jump

on the band wagon because they’re serving good BBQ for lunch.

Do your own research and decide if what they believe, is what

you believe and I believe, I believe that you can believe, anything

you want to believe, just as I believe and that is my Belief. What

do you Believe? LOL Under which shell will you find Jesus. Not

that one, “IT” has BBQ sauce on “IT”. I’m looking for the shell

with blood on “IT” and that is where I Will place my Faith, Hope,

Love and Charity. I’m All In. That’s my final answer.

Lord, thank you for blessing me again. This recent acquisition

will make an annual income for many. I am thankful for the

blessings, but still empty. I know you are affording me the time

to spend with You finishing my purpose for You. I pray that You

guide my heart as we close out this chapter of my life. This is one

book that I am soooooo...... ready to close. You have trained me,

I pray that I can control my own Vanity if Your Gift is Revealed

to the World. I Will need to be kept in check. ;) I Am so beautiful

after all. LOL Aren’t we ALL, as God’s Greatest Creation?

189

WHEN

Oh, all of the time. I can get out of line at anytime.

NO

What?

WHEN REVEALED

Yes Lord, Your humble servant must always be kept in check.

I was made imperfect for the Father’s sick pleasure, but I’m digging

“IT” now. Now that I understand “IT”. Look Father, there’s

one hiding his secrets just like I used to do. They look just like

Rats in a Maze. You got any popcorn, this will be fun to watch. I

sure would like to see the ending before I have to go Home. Do

the rats ever make it out of the maze Father?

Nathan, save your breath on that prayer. He won’t answer

Me on that one either. “IT” is a Promised Kingdom.

Alright, I need to get back to editing anyway.

I made it through Lord. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was

going to be. I didn’t remember most of it, but yeah, it was me.

Mr. Hyde with Dr. Jekyll occasionally. LOL What a trip. Lord, I

pray that my path will pull my crab brothers and sisters from the

bucket they are in. If I haven’t accomplished anything but one

thing Lord. Let “IT” be a road map to a personal relationship

with You. Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. My Brother and son

to One God over all Mankind.

I’m confused on how I should feel tonight Lord. Our book

is done and all that is left is the final touches, including audio.

Ouch, that’s going to be tough. But I will be up for the challenge,

after all, I want redemption in the eyes of my two lost loves. My

190

daughter Lauren and my (2nd Wife). I’m confused because I am

trying to run all of the scenario’s through my head without getting

excited. I am not sure how I will react to (2nd Wife) when this

finally gets out. I do know I want my blood back. I want Lauren

back unconditionally, but even with her we have so much ground

to make up. I don’t even know my own daughter. I really lost a

lot chasing a materialistic God.

Alright Lord, how about a little praise for me, this has been a

living Hell. Don’t I get a Crown or Constellation or something?

I GODCHA CROWN

RIGHT HERE

LOL

And the constellation?

Nathan, you always did go for the sale. Sure, why not.

BTW...”IT” is already named Ophiuchus, your new name in

me. LOL You should have read the fine print.

LOL, all good brother. “IT” was all for You anyway. I can’t

say that “IT” has always been about You. I needed “Time” to

grow in Faith and get past “IT’s all about ME”.

THANK YOU

BROTHER

No, thank you for saving me my brother. I am the brother in

need of keeping.

COOL, LET’S EAT

I AM STARVED

I’m going to call my folks tomorrow and see what there lunch

plans are. Let’s spend the day together tomorrow, maybe even

191

take a ride out to Leper Land and dream another dream. I pray

someone will take on that project. I can not. I really believe it

would heal a lot of souls on the inside and make the World a better

place. A new beginning and a new generation of Gods Children,

mentored under God’s Laws. If God can be chipped away

from our society, can Satan, now that we know we all are Satan

when we become Satan?

It amazes me to think that these last few sentences will make

prophetic history. So what does one say to end a book like this.

Hold that portal still brother, I’m coming through.

Ian, stand still with “IT” - Pink Floyd

How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?

LOL

SILLY ASS

Yup, that’s me at your service your Highness.

I have really been digging your poems.

LIVING WORD

Yeah, that too. Can You bless us with one more before We

end this?

TOPIC?

Oh Lord, I don’t know. Show me “The End” that’s all folks.

“IT” doesn’t have to be silly, whatever You want. I’m not tempting

You. I just like how Your words touch my heart.

THE END

192

THAT’S ALL FOLKS

Smart ass brother of mine. LOL You Gotta Love Him. He

blesses OUR hearts.

I AM THY END

I AM THY KEY

I AM THY PORTAL

I WILL THEE FREE

I WILL THEE MORTAL

I WILL THEE END

AN END TO ALL ENDS

I AM...

THY GOD

I WILL...

THEE END

666

THE MARK OF

THE BEAST

194

Let’s get ready to start, “The Family Feud”. Today’s topic:

What are the top five answers to the riddle of 666? What does it

mean?

Let’s start with you Sally, but before we start, I need to gross

everyone out with a big sloppy Al Gore kind of kiss. Give me a

break, this the only gig I could get after Hogans Heroes and Hollywood

Squares was humiliating.

So Sally, what do you believe 666 is?

I’d have to say the Mark of the Beast

Survey says, Number One answer. Good job Sally, give it up

for her. YAY!

How you doing Mark, you big lug. How’s it hanging?

Honestly, when I think about humanity it kind of hangs to the

left and then when I wonder how I’m going to pay for this humanity,

it hangs to the right. But I got this feeling that somehow we

will be able to figure out how we can be humanitarians without

it coming directly out of my already overtaxed wallet. And when

that happens, I think the left side and the right side will come

to the middle and we’ll make one of those K Y Jelly commercials.

And hey, don’t worry about my age. I got plenty of the pills

the drug companies have been pushing down my throat. We’ll

squeeze the jelly commercial in between the drug commercials.

Uhhhh...Right. So what is 666 for you Mark?

I’m going to have to go with, My Ex-Wife. She’s a bitch from

Hell. Wait a minute, now hold on. Can I get two. Fred can I have

your answer? Fred don’t talk much anyway. Cause my Mother in

Law has got to have her ugly ass up on that board somewhere too.

195

“Survey says”

4. Ex-Wife

5. Mother in Law

Great Job Mark, I really didn’t think you had a snowballs

chance in Hell, but this is a public opinion poll that dictates these

answers. Okay, I think we can all agree that we have no idea

where this is headed but let’s go to Mabel. You can take out those

false teeth honey, I want to gum you right here on the set. UMMMMM......

Mabel your looking pretty good for your age. How

old are you honey?

I’ll be 32 this year. I was sold into sexual slavery when I was

9 and was just released from rehab last year, but I’m doing much

better.

Wow, don’t I feel like such a schmuck. Mabel, honey please

tell us your answer.

I believe I have earned the right to say “Predators”

Sally the survey says Predators is the number two answer, can

you see it in your heart to share that number one spot?

Okay, we’re moving on. How about you Davy, who’s still in

the Navy and probably will be for life. What does 666 mean to

you?

You know, I’ve been aboard a ship for a very long time and

we watch a lot of movies. I’ve always wondered what that thing

on Harry Potter’s Head was. Is it a tattoo of 666? Anyway, I’m

going to say that thing on Harry Potter’s Head.

Survey says: Strike One

Davy, did you really think the thing on Harry’s head was 666?

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Hey, you asked me what I believe. Screw you.

You are right Davy, I have no authority to infringe upon your

beliefs. Somebody get Davy a wand and a white owl.

We are still missing one answer, maybe Clark can solve the

riddle that has perplexed Man for centuries. How about it Clark,

what does 666 mean to you?

Well Dick, I’d have to say...

Call me Richard please, Dick just seems to personal and

we’ve just met.

Okay Richard, I’ll go with Alcohol. Because it knocked my

Richard in the dirt more times than I can remember.

Did you mean to say Dick, Clark?

No, what does Dick Clark got to do with 666. I was saying

that Alcohol has knocked my Dick in the Dirt so much, but you

told me not to say Dick. You Dick. Sorry, you Richard.

Right...Survey says: “Betrayers” I think the judges are going

to let you have that one Clark. YAY. The crowd goes wild.

This is Dick, I mean Richard reminding you before we all go

to our bonus round, that 666 is what we believe in personally as

our interpretation of the signs based on our own frame of reference.

A frame of reference is like an asshole, we all got one and

we started building “IT” from birth.

And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark,

or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Here is

wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of

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the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six

hundred threescore and six.

666

The number of man. I realize that I only touched on the answer

to that riddle. 666 is our frame of reference that each of us

draw from. It is developed by what we see, hear, do and whether

we learn from the consequences or not. Because the rulebook is

overwhelming, we wing it. The rule book that I use is the Bible

and quite possibly the Quaran, I am still subjecting it to critical

analysis because it is not in my own frame of reference. We make

up our own minds instead of following God’s plan for our lives,

we bump around trying to figure out what someone else is doing

and may even try to take it from him.

Everyone has a Reticular Activating System. I already told

you about the yellow VW and when you buy one, they seem to

be everywhere. So I’ll tell you about the Old Lady, Young Lady

Picture. When you look at this picture, you will see one or the

other. Sometimes you lock down so hard you can not see another

viable option. You have made your decision and live with the

consequences. Only when you accept enlightenment, do you see

a different alternative.

Of our own free will. We make decisions daily and a thought

process must occur before they can be made. We draw from our

frame of reference that is stored in our subconscious and then instantaneously

we follow our moral code. What is right or wrong.

What has made me money or broke me. What made me the life of

the party or the buffoon. It is these decisions that you make daily

that determine who you will serve. Man or God? Your decisions

are either Christ like or Anti-Christ like.

Try looking for signs. Have you ever lied in the grass on a sun

filled day, a little nip in the air and studied the clouds? You can

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find almost anything that looks like what you seek. As a child, I

saw many wonderful images. I haven’t done this as an adult. It’s

a little frightening considering my frame of reference now from

then.

When my parents picked me up from Dallas, Tx I told them

I was considering editing childrens books and telling them the

truth of what they have to look out for and forward to. This picture

is pretty bleak right now. If you are honest about the State of

our Union and the State of our World.

I wonder who he is, he must live nearby. You could have seen

him everyday and not known who he was. He could be that guy

right there or that guy there and those flowers are for you. NY152

– You’ve Got Mail

Can you see how you interpret things. You are drawn to what

you seek. The Antichrist is of your flesh, he is your frame of

reference, he is your subconscious, he could be your decision

maker and seal your fate. The Antichrist is each and everyone of

us based on our decisions.

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone had a Godly frame of reference.

You could let your guard down and not fear attack. Love

your brothers and sisters in Christ, but be forewarned that not

everyone is serving God.

Play it close to your vest and have a back up plan – Dad

I tell you these things so you will know to forgive. You can

not find peace in your own heart until you forgive the person that

hasn’t thought twice about you, after their offense to you.

Hit me once – Shame on You

Hit me twice – Shame on Me

Hit me three times

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I AM is coming after you

Do you need another illustration of His Might?

Does this shark need to come up and bite your ass before you

believe me. - Jaws

Lord,

Just because I mentioned sharks, don’t start sending them. I

am looking forward to a cool summer here at the beach. That is if

Global Warming doesn’t ruin it. LOL

We mock what we do not understand – Spies Like Us

Wallace has a keen ability to spot an ambush – Braveheart

The Prophet Nathan has learned to spot Corruption.

Uh Oh, somebody has learned how to putt. - Happy Gilmore

Do not let Caesar fund these programs with your tax dollars.

Let individuals that believe in what they are doing raise the funds

themselves. Put the funds into a Legacy and reap the benefits for

an eternity. I really just don’t give a damn about the mating habits

of those vicious Kenids.

Hey Al,

How about you start a Global Warming Trust Fund and put

what you made in to it. It made you rich didn’t it? You could have

a Global Gorathon or Borathon depending on the light of the son.

I think I got Ten bucks. Hell, I’d pay ten bucks to watch a monkey

jack off with boxing gloves on. I will give a donation for uncorrupted

findings. Don’t run it through my Government for the rest

of your friends to be greased with taxpayers money. We’re broke

and it is time you felt the pinch yourselves. I can only imagine

where Nathan’s Auto Sales would be if someone had given me

about fifty more credit cards.

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When did we give up our power as people to a corrupt Government

that overwhelms us with rhetoric so we can’t really see

what they are up to? We are ignorant after all.

The way to make any program work is to reach the people.

If you give them what they want, you will get what you want.

You don’t petition your government to fund your explorations

and agenda. You create your concept. You market your concept

and you sell your concept. If it has merit, it will sell. If not, it will

die. If you still believe in your concept, revise it and enlighten us

to your findings. Old woman, young woman.

Sorry to get off the subject, but you know my ADD ass. So

to sum it up, 666 is our free will choosing to serve man over God

based on our own personal frame of reference.

GeeZ, LoueeZ... I’m not starting out to good. I’m all over the

place.

Nathanson, Focus...remember Balance. - Mr. Miagi

666 is our frame of reference that is stored in our subconscious.

Our reticular activating system will draw from our subconscious

every time a decision is to be made. Of our own free

will, we choose to serve man 666 or God. Our decisions are either

Christ Like or Anti-Christ Like. Everyone’s frame of reference is

different. It is based on what they have seen, heard, read or experienced.

Everyone wants to believe that their frame of reference

is the right one. And sometimes will go to great lengths to press

themselves and their agenda at the expense of their brothers and

sisters in Christ. When someone divides in the name of God, look

for Greed and Power. Is it God they wish to serve or fuel their

own Egos? Follow the money trail to find corruption. We must

have transparency.

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Just thought of this in the shower. I almost forgot it before I

could get out and write it down. LOL

The Living Word speaks to different people, in a different

way, at different points in time in their walk with Christ or man

666. We interpret the Living Word based on our frame of reference.

Our frame of reference starts to be built at our birth. It is

what we have seen, heard, read and experienced. Of our own free

will we get to choose right from wrong, Christ like or Anti-Christ

like. The Devil is alive and well dwelling in each and everyone

of us due to the decisions we all have to make daily. The Devil

is of the flesh, ONLY when you allow the Devil to become you.

 The Prophet Nathan

P.S.

As we have generationally chipped God from our World, we

have inevitably stacked those chips in favor of man 666. Imagine

being a child again. What would you see, hear, read and experience?

This is my humble interpretation of man 666. Always subject

to critical analysis. Just imagine being able to sleep without worrying

the Boogey Man is under my bed or in my closet. I don’t

have to worry anymore. I just take the Boogey out of Boogey

Man and I am left with just man 666 to deal with. And he can be

a vicious man 666.

 

IT’S IN THERE

PREGO

THE SEED OF

GOD

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January 9, 2010

Welcome to Leper Land !!!

Concession stand: ALL FREE TODAY

Bottled water

Unleavened bread (Pita)

Canned fish

Pass out optional sack cloth robes.

Everyone that participates will receive a flat white stone with

I AM on one side and the other side is left blank for each individual

to determine their own new name in Christ.

The seven deadly sins. Videos within rooms at Fort.

Discover all of the unmentionables via video. Retrain our

thinking. Show the consequences of our actions, so we can learn

from others’ mistakes.

Isolated posts will discover the really despicable travesties

that man places on other men. PG-XIII on this place.

If you can’t come to Leper Land to receive your gift $6.66

plus postage. Your own white flat stone. I AM, who are you for

Christ? You will make that decision. It is your new name in Christ.

Who are you really? Do you know for sure? How do you know?

You will feel it on your heart when you can answer that question.

I was just thinking about having that stone in my hand. “I

AM” on one side and the other side blank for only my Father,

Savior and Wonderful Counselor to know. I don’t want to tell you

my purpose for God, I want to show you by my actions. Whether

you notice them or not, it makes no difference. My God notices

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them and so does your brothers and sisters in Christ, whether they

acknowledge your efforts or not. That’s what you have a spouse

for. LOL The thing that I was thinking about was the last time I

kicked Austin and Dad’s ass at Risk, Austin had developed a pattern

of trying to figure out my mission card by my strategy and

actions. But I always strategically wait until the last possible moment

before revealing my Plan and unleashing my Fury of Hell

and total World Domination. LOL

To the untrained mind and heart, you and I have just had a

conversation about an enjoyable board game. To the trained mind

and heart, you have just witnessed an inquisitive mind that wants

to lap up the knowledge of a proven track record of success. So

after he is beaten, he performs an analysis of the whole mission

scenario. Of course, there is always the luck issue with the roll

of the dice, but definitely a plan that can be learned and possibly

even built upon for future games or generations, depending upon

your frame of reference. This knowledge can be used for you own

self-gain or it can be used to motivate your brother to achieve his

own level of contentment and Glorify Our God.

January 15, 2010

The Anti-Christ is fueled by the media. What are we feeding

our children with? Need a mirror? What are children being programmed

with? It disgusts me and I know it disgusts our God.

Why would anyone gain enjoyment from watching the sufferings

of others. Dracula, what a bunch of crap that gives erotic desires.

The bad stuff is easier to believe as we all know.

Dude, I am telling you now. You reap what you sow. How are

your children being programmed?

You made me! – Charles Manson

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We really did make Charles, we created an environment of

corruption and taboo. He manipulated these to satisfy his own

thirst.

Lord, please tell me what I can do?

I think Leper Land will heal them on the inside. I know that

it is always FAITH that heals.

Why do people think and feel this way in which causes them

to do harm to your people?

Some people just wish they had never been born.

 Tombstone

Those that choose man 666 will always be there

Those that choose ME will always be here

For Eternity

Lord, I am straining to talk with you. I feel you, but why are

you not talking to my heart now?

This is God reminding Nathan to shut up, shut up, shut up,

shut up, shut up, shut up

I want so much to proclaim your name Father. So guide me,

mold me and complete me.

Is your motivation for ME or for your own vanity? Nathan

I know you. You cannot hide from ME. You are vain

through and through. You must remain

STEALTH

I so want to proclaim your name Father. I so want to go in

front of all of your people and proclaim your love for them.

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MY LOVE LASTS ETERNALLY

I AM

Lord, I feel like I am speaking for you now. I will heed your

words and not my vanity. Am I acting to humbly? I do so want to

worship you in public.

Nathan, you know all of the lukewarm believers raise their

hands to me in public, but they raise them to their peers they

want to rule over. You cannot judge them. Who are you to

judge? If their heart is in need of a lift. Show ME. Everybody

else, sit your monkey ass down. It’s bull shit and you know it.

Praise ME. I require it. So do your ancestors and heirs. Get

past the greed. See the love. I AM your Eternal God. Your

Lord and Savior

I am watching Bram Stokers Dracula. Cool flick. Do you see

what I mean. I think the bad stuff is easier to believe. Why are

we programming children that way? Oh, I know. It’s the freaking

money.

Are these your words or are they mine?

Stop selling Nathan

You are over selling

Yes Lord, I know. You hired a salesman and I have a hard time

turning it off.

They know. I effect everyone with everyone.

They know my Wraith

Earthquakes – Tsunami – Forest fires – Hurricanes - Tornadoes

– …

Etc. etc. etc. – The King and I

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I effect everyone with everyone

This is Nathan reminding Danny Glover to shut up. Start a

global warming trust fund if you are that adamant about it. Don’t

circumvent my beliefs with your agenda that is unfounded to be

true, by going to my Government and solicit your personal agenda

ultimately resulting in more taxes taken from me.

You ask of Me

I ask of You

Thank you oh Sovereign Lord. You are a most merciful God,

our Creator and our Savior. You are in us. We are in you. One in

the same. Maybe the bad stuff is easier to believe, but we can reprogram

our love for you? This is the new generation you spoke

of. It will come to pass.

Lord, I pray to you. Do not allow my own set of personal issues

to influence your words. I do not wish to pass my inequities,

only the talents that you would give unto your people. I hope

that they can learn from my mistakes. This is a guide that is long

overdue.

I have given everyone Talents. They can give me the Glory

or they can worship Satan. It is of their own

FREE WILL

How will they know who or what they are worshiping? Idols

come in a variety of shapes and sizes, wants, desires and needs.

They know. They will always know and so WILL I

Good night Lord, I am tired and my damn finger is starting to

hurt again. I love you. You are my strength to carry on. I will not

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rest until your message is heard. It is the Master’s plan. Thank

God.

Goodnight my son. Let’s talk about false prophets tomorrow.

I AM with you. With love and your blessings

Damn, please let me go to sleep. I don’t want any awards.

Okay give them to me. I will eBay them for your glory. Awards

that are not truly earned are like toilet tissue. Wipe your ass with

them. The one that buys it with the stench is the corrupt. Why do

you deliver gifts of corruption? What is it that you are protecting?

Please don’t tell me that it is your own personal greed that would

compromise your soul. Why do we insist on giving every child

a prize? Doesn’t that deflate the reward for being competitive?

Why should I strive to be better, when I know you are going to

give me what I want anyway?

Enough, leave me alone. Goodnight Father. I love you.

January 16, 2010

Do you know how painful it is to have the greatest Father in

the world and not be able to tell anyone about it?

 The Santa Clause II

You know why. Because they will think you’re nuts. Been

there, done that, stripped to my underwear and thrown in jail.

That will change Nathan. The new generation of God’s

people will emerge with the proper tools. Breaking the Seven

Seals is just the beginning. I, Jesus Christ was sinless, you

Nathan, you are ripe with sin. How can someone correctly articulate

something that they have not experienced for themselves?

There is an option on my peoples contract. 1000 years

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with a world that has a controlled Satan. Write your thoughts

down

Yeah, you know I know that my dumb ADD ass better write

them down. Great thoughts are lost unless you do.

I really didn’t think we would be doing this again.

My Last Will and Testament. The Seven Sealed, Two—

Sided Scroll has been revealed. It will stun them. Now tell

them your personal observations and what the Holy Spirit

puts on thine heart

Lord, you know that I can get in a lot of trouble speaking my

mind to a politically correct society. Even though they are words

of truth, these words will hurt and hurt badly. No one likes to be

told what to do or that they are doing it wrong. Wars start that

way. I beg of your protection as I unveil what it is that we all need

to see and what the Holy Spirit puts on my heart. We must see that

it is broken, so we can figure out how to fix it.

False prophets are all around us. People want to believe so

badly, they allow themselves to search for 666 and the corrupt

will point out the dots. Hey, wait a minute. That’s what I did. Am

I a false prophet? Maybe. But I am a prophet that comes like a

thief in the night bearing a gift. Sounds like Santa.

YOU ARE A PROPHET PROCLAIMING

MY HOLY NAME

Why is it so hard for us to talk about God?

Are you the anointed one?

Why do you think you are?

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Is it for your own glory that you have anointed yourself?

How can you say that you are one of the two witnesses in

the book of Revelations and the spokesperson for both? Who are

you? What a crock of shit.

What is your interpretation of the Seven Sealed two-sided

Scroll?

Why do you empower yourself enough to screw the flock?

Oh yeah, I remember now. You want the young innocent girls

to anoint your small head with their orgasmic secretion.

David Koresh

BURN IN HELL

Will a real Prophet please stand up?

Is this your mission for God’s glory or your own?

Take a shot, who am I to judge?

But I would not want the fate that comes with your proclamation

if it is truly not on your heart.

You know I really dug how Moses raided the Temple grain.

That which is good enough for God, surely won’t sour in the bellies

of slaves. – Moses

There has been a lot of grain stored up in the name of God for

a very long time. Will the temple Pharisees of today allow God

to take account and reward the faithful and damn the greedy???

Let’s chat about this for just a minute. I realize that the Church

is a business. Their business is to spread the Good News that

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Jesus will be returning. They have been collecting in His Holy

Name for an awfully long time. It is time for our Lord to take

account. He has only ever asked for 10%, what is your account

from your disciples for your Lord? If you have spent God’s share,

can you work it off? God’s children are in need of healthcare and

prayer. If you can not, don’t blame mass exodus of the Churches

on me. Nathan the Prophet. My antennas have been up since the

third time I was screwed in the Church.

I’m going to see the movie Book of the Eli and see what 666

has for us.

Did you know that your decisions can be made by emotional

rather than rational thought? Do you think before you act? Do

you think before you speak or humiliate? Do you draw conclusions,

before you have the facts? Do you think you have it all

figured out? If you do, I need to talk to you. I am still trying to

figure all this out and my role. No angels have appeared to me

it. I’m damn sure glad they haven’t. All of my words are on pure

Faith and the love of our Creator.

Wait a minute, I think I see one now. Have you ever heard of

the Reticular Activating System? Full credit going to Lou Tice.

Have you ever bought a new car and at the time you bought it you

thought it was more unique than what it ended up being. Believe

me, once you buy a yellow VW Bug you will see them everywhere.

It is your subconscious that is triggered to the forefront

of your brain and draws your attention to what you want to see.

Note made during final edit: Do you remember when I had

said earlier that I had already mentioned the yellow VW. When

you read that, were you ready to correct me or just accept “IT” as

fact. People will bloviate and if you do not humble yourselves to

request your adversaries to please communicate to you on your

ignorant level, they will steamroll your ass and you’ll be oblivious

to what they said because of your lack of literary intelligence

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and the lack of humility to admit when you don’t quite understand

something. You might be surprised how your adversary will

respond when you challenge him to explain it to your poor, dumb,

ignorant ass to the point of understanding. It may just be a bunch

of bullshit to see if you really are awake and if not, I’m going to

get this by you. I know you hate to read and your retention skills

are maybe 10%, so I can expect your signature on this 1990 page

healthcare bill on Monday right? BTW...did you and your Wife

or is it Girlfriend enjoy the Condo at the Hamptons last weekend.

Wink Wink After we cram, I mean pass this bill, what do you

think about you, me and the wives or girlfriends get together and

take a cool trip at the taxpayers expense, I’m sorry, I meant to say

investigative research for the betterment and safety for this great

nation. You need to tell me when that damn microphone is on.

Next time, YOU’RE FIRED.

Do you see a connection with 666? What you see, is what you

seek. Depending on how you feel will determine what you are

looking for. Misery loves company. Are you one of the crabs in

your family? You can stare down at a ceramic tile and find anything

you want. So the next time you’re taking a crap, look down

at the tile. Do you see good things or do you see bad. You will

see what you want to see. And yes, the bad stuff is much easier to

believe. Unfortunately, we have been trained that way.

I am so excited to see where Hollywood wants to take us with

our belief in God. It is called programming. This is where our

minds are fed right from wrong, good versus evil. Which is more

glamorous for you? Will God be chipped away a little further or

will he be brought back into our lives? I Pray it is a message of

hope.

I want to be a real boy – Pinocchio

How naïve, how easy of a target, how ignorant, distractions

are very glamorous. Be careful where they lead you. Also remem214

ber that there are people that will deliberately prey upon your

dreams. Remember that one. You will be so excited and they will

be excited for you and want in and you out.

Play it close to your vest – Dad

We get to decide who we let into our weird little worlds –

Good Will Hunting

I hate living that way. I want to be trusting. Just when you

think you can let your Guard down and reveal your personal vulnerabilities,

they Got you.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water

– Jaws

Guess what, we are living in a tank of shark’s. I think Glenn

Beck was right. Sarah Palin has every right to be guarded with her

replies. Getting kicked in the teeth sucks. I do think everybody

needs to read that book how to screw your friends and have them

like you for it. It will really open your eyes to the deception that

some of the most wonderful people can be using to their advantage.

At least get on the same playing field so you’ll be prepared

for the Manipulation.

What direction are you taking your life? Have you ever been

lost? When you see a sign, a sign of redemption. Even though

it puts you so far behind, you know you are on the right path. A

sense of relief should fall over you now. I might be on square -13,

but I know I am moving forward not backwards.

Have you ever been driving along the interstate as lost as an

Easter egg. Too stubborn to ask for directions until it seems all

else has failed? Once you get the direction, you are relieved to

find that you have been on the right path the whole time. Or you

find you are miles further from your destination than you would

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like to imagine. First you’ll be pissed, then you’ll be relieved. The

not knowing Sucks more then being behind. Heading in the right

direction, ultimately means reaching your destination. Mission

accomplished.

Are you going through life thinking that you are headed in the

right direction? When you did stop for directions, the attendant

screwed you out of money or something else. Did you ever think

to pull out the map? Ya know you got to use your brain, don’t

give your power over to someone else. They could be just as lost

as you are or worse. They may be out to screw you. What is your

road map of life? Once the scales have been removed from your

eyes, you’re probably going to be pissed and then be relieved.

Once you turn your life over to God, and I mean truly turn it over

to God, you’ll know you’re on the right path and he’s got our

backs. When you stand with God, who can stand against you?

Sorry to break this line of reasoning up but I had to get this

thought on paper before I forgot it, you know my ADD ass. My

friend Brian has been working on getting his real estate broker’s

license while I’ve been working on my book and we have been

tracking about the same time frame. My first book is finished and

now I’m working on the second. Brian is getting his career started

in developing some systems that are not being used in this area

and can be very advantageous to anybody that would like to take

up the path. The cool thing about this is, when you become financially

intelligent, your brain starts to work in a different way. He

has been coming up with some very good ideas and I suggested

to him about marketing all of his endeavors. That is the difference

between a person that will continue to be a self-employed person

versus a business owner. I also gave him the suggestion to write

down these epiphanies as he gets them. When his project is complete,

all he will have to do is compile his notes to complete his

Passive Income business. We have not been trained to think that

way. We have been trained to either get a job or create ourselves

a job, never even thought about selling our creativity if in fact it

216

is successful. Anyway, sorry to interrupt I’ll get back on my ADD

track. Now where was I. LOL

Our breadcrumbs may have been gobbled up by the birds, but

we have marked the trees. They have been marked in history. Are

we moving forward or are we moving backwards? What direction

are you taking in your own life? Have you ever been lost? When

you see a sign, a sign of redemption. Even though it puts you so

far behind, you know you are on the right path. Why can’t we go

back in history and learn from the mistakes of our ancestors so

we don’t continually make them again and again.

Where are we now? Freaking lost!!! How do you find the

direction that you want to go? Don’t you first have to establish

where you are now? Audit time! How much water, food and medicine

do I have. Oh Shit, not much. Mr. Federal Reserve I know

it looks bleak. I just want to know how bleak it is, so I can fix

it. How can I fix it if you won’t allow me into your world. Your

world of corruption.

You know I really don’t give a damn what you think of me.

I have my beliefs and live in a country that will protect my beliefs.

I’ll take everything up with Jesus when that glorious time

comes. I respect everyone’s beliefs. We can respectfully agree

to disagree. You can serve any God you want to serve and I’ll

serve any God I want to serve. That is our rights. Who is to say

that you are right and I am wrong and vice a versa? It is all up

to interpretation. This is my interpretation and I’m sticking to it.

Don’t infringe upon my beliefs and I’ll give you the same courtesy.

Don’t use the legal system to tear down what my forefathers

have fought for, so as not to offend you. If I was in your country

and I didn’t like it, I would go home. If you wanted to frisk me at

the airport because you have profiled me, more power to you. I

have nothing to hide. My God has sat quietly while my religious

beliefs have been persecuted. You won’t mind if my God has a

say this time would you? My God is just. My God is fair. My God

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is all loving. My God is all forgiving. My God gave us his only

begotten son to sacrifice for my sins.

Death:

It’s not really scary when you know that you have accomplished

what you were here for.

What are you here for? We’ve been tested our whole lives

by the people that placed themselves as judge and jury. Are our

choices of who leads us being made by who has the most money?

I’ll bet if enough money was spent you would vote none of

the above – Brewster’s Millions

I will attend the funeral if a free lunch will be provided. I must

have a free lunch to warrant my time – Scrooge

A deal with the devil?

Mr. Pat Robertson. I don’t know you, just what I’ve heard on

television lately. This is Nathan reminding Pat to shut the freak up.

Pat, do you hear me. I’ve listened to you many times. Why

do you tell people that I have talked to you? You have done

much good and that goes a long way. But you are over stepping

your power. Let me ask you one question. Are you willing

to give all that you have for me? I have afforded you a

lifetime of bliss. Show me your true character, by giving your

God what you have collected on my behalf and in my Holy

Name. Your brothers and sisters in Christ want to see your

testament to Me, they’ve heard your testament enough.

Uh, yeah. Wow, that’s a freaking challenge. I guess there will

be a mass exodus of the Church after all. You’re full of shit and

I have been making my tithe to the Devil. Did you make the Demonic

deal with Haiti? You miserable manipulator of God’s word.

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Final edit note: I shouldn’t Judge and nor should you, but it

will be fun to watch how Pat handles God’s Challenge. I wonder

if I will get sued? I can’t wait to go before my Judge, the Judge of

Mankind not the Judge of man. But if he turns his business into

God’s business, I would imagine his business being a wonderful

hospital to heal the sick and to witness to all that seek our Lord

Jesus Christ as our personal Savior.

It sure would be nice to tap into a worldwide legacy fund for

disasters. I don’t need to know the amounts that you are putting

in the kitty. Just put it in there, because as the beacon nation, we

will always be there in a time of crisis. When people are hurting

and need assistance, the challenge is always placed on the 5 talent

man. But the 5 talent man should not be expected to tow the line.

It requires all the two talent and yes even 1 talent men to do their

part as well. It is a team effort. Do you remember team effort?

Kelly has hit all the home runs he can hit. He needs help from

the kid in the wheelchair. – Bad News Bears

He has a very special purpose as well. Has anyone encouraged

him to find it?

Okay, I’m going to the movie now. Be back with my own Siskel

and freaking Ebert Review. I promise, I have an open mind.

Do you?

Well, well, well. A cross between Escape from New York and

Road Warriors. At least we know how important the Bible is now.

The name Book of Eli kind of threw me. I thought they had stolen

my idea. – Book of Nathan

Why is it that I can’t even get a good friend that understands

me, to read what I have written?

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They all are a stubborn people, busy in their own world.

They are up to their neck in alligators, they can’t find the time

Well I told him that excuses are like ass holes, we all got one

– Platoon

Nathan, you are saved. You will sit by me at the throne.

Your Faith has brought you here. Be patient, you’ve delivered

my plan. Just watch. You knew this was a daunting task from

the beginning. Endeavor to Persevere

Lord, I am really getting fed up. How can I make anyone listen,

when I can’t even influence my own circle?

I Am with you

Yeah, I know. You’ve said that before.

Why do you always question me? It will come. I promise.

Be Patient

I am tired of waiting on you. I want it now.

Sit your monkey ass down!!! Let us smoke a while. What

is your strategy for delivering salvation? You are worthy.

Stop beating yourself up. I have made you this way. If it was

easy everyone would do IT

Lord, it needs to be easy. Anything complex is met with resistance.

Nathan, Nathan, Nathan. Do you remember how difficult

it was for you to break out of an occupation that you did not

see any way from breaking free from? Have you not prospered?

I will give you more if you desire. Keep the Faith

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Lord, our book has not even been given a chance. It is not

even available. I always think that way, always thinking ahead. I

want it now. I have been rolling with the economic punches for

awhile now. Thank you for allowing my finances to enable me to

continue my praise of you.

I am 100% sure that you want me to disappear after this gift is

delivered. My vanity so wanted to be seen. But you gave me that

clip from the devil’s advocate where he got sucked into vanity

after defeating Satan. What a shame. I really could have been a

great spokesperson for you. But I guess we’ll leave that job to all

of the false prophets. I know I am one of the witnesses and I know

the other. I am just desperately trying to not cross you.

Question:

How does one that feels they have the solution, coming from

one that is not accepted in society, deliver the good news?

Don’t even think of e-mails, letters or phone calls. I am hoping

the book will work.

Lord, you know that I would stand on my head and juggle

with my feet to get your people to heed your warning and gift. I

am considered a nut. My friend Brian says I am considered different

by my peers. Not a dumb ass, just different.

I didn’t say they were better than us, just different – Eddie

and the Cruisers

I have isolated myself from women. I am horny as hell, I just

don’t want to lose focus. My heart is broken. The love of my life

is lukewarm. I can’t change that. I think of her all the time. I asked

you for her and you gave her to me. I made it hard on her to believe

in me. A check writer mentality is what most have become.

How do you break through to the lukewarm Christians?

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I would rather you be hot or cold for ME. If you are lukewarm,

I spit you from my life. Stand. Take a stand

Stands with a Fist – Dances with Wolves

What do you believe?

What will you stand up for?

The time is now. Who are you in Christ?

TELL ME

Who are you in Christ?

Lord, how can you ask the lost who they all are, when they

don’t have a clue?

You know who you are

You know who they are

They will know who I AM

I AM the Creator

I AM the Everlasting

I AM All

In you I find my peace.

In you I find my purpose.

I have prayed to you to reveal yourself on numerous occasions.

I am so glad you haven’t. It is purely faith. If you did appear

or an angel came to me, I would play hell getting anyone to

believe me.

Okay, we are talking again now. I wish I had more questions.

Give me some time.

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Lord, I have screwed enough women to know that it is all

the same. The inner beauty is what has always prevailed. I have

become so educated with relationships, I feel I can never really

connect with anyone again. I know all the Bullshit. The love of

my life is lost and now how could I know if someone loves me or

desires what I can do for them?

There is a huge difference in the physical touch. I don’t want

a trophy wife. I want a loving wife and a lover of yours. I want

your sloppy seconds.

I’ve grown tired of searching for a mate that will complete

me. I cannot handle that pain again. I am forever scarred.

Every lash that we both have endured, is a lesson for us to

learn by. Mistakes, we learn from yours? Would you change your

ways to accommodate a partner? You will never find happiness

until you begin to appreciate your partner.

We are wired very differently. You cannot change the wiring

unless free will wants to.

I see people in the same place I have been before. It’s freaky.

They will not listen, just as I would not in their circumstance. I

silently chuckle when I see them trying to find who they are with

materialism. What a devil’s path that is.

Your checkbook will ultimately determine your fate, just as

our nation will see its fate with no credit lines. We cannot sustain

the present path.

Okay Lord, this is your platform. If this book is published and

we have got some ears. What do you want to say?

Draw your sword from my mouth.

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I am getting a bit drunk now. Hey, don’t bitch at me. You

selected my drunk ass.

Nathan, my son. Have another drink. You are doing just

fine. In fact, let’s all have a drink

DRINK OF ME

LIVING WATER

I did find it funny that you said in Revelations “Reader Pay

Attention”. A good wake-up call. You knew you would be speaking

to someone like me.

Oh well, let me take another hit on the tree of life and I’ll be

right back.

Are you ready to get deep?

How about disgusting?

I am a very horny man. Why is a sexual tool accepted for a

woman and not for a man? I find it stimulating, fun and different.

We are the ones that are uncontrollable. Flesh light. What a difference.

It sucks and will keep you out of trouble.

What do I need a man for, I’ve got a vibrator – There’s something

about Mary

I’m just like all you other Mother Freaker’s. It’s the man

thing that keeps you from admitting that you have weaknesses.

It’s okay, we all have them. But we shield those vulnerabilities

heavily. No one likes to be laughed at or humiliated. That is an

easy target. Let me belittle you so I can feel better about me and

behind closed doors, do what you do. You hypocrites. Hey, I see

(Political Figure) has a boyfriend that grows marijuana. (Political

Figure) I know you didn’t inhale any homegrown, but did you get

popped in the butt? Good for you, I am not here to judge you. But

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you will be judged. You are placed in a power to be entrusted. A

lot of people got hurt by your lies. As I have said before, Pole

Smoker, plead your case. You hypocritical bastard. It’s all good.

You have enough money to escape. I hope you can live with yourself.

I couldn’t.

You came as a lamb, you will come as a Lion. If you are coming

through me, slam their ass hard enough to listen.

Disclaimer time: it’s still just me. I am just getting angry

thinking about it.

Joke: When I was thrown in jail, my cellmate was a huge

horny man. He asks, do you want to be the husband or the wife? I

really didn’t want to make a choice, but I guess I’d have to choose

to be the husband. Cool, Then come on over here and give your

wife a blow job. LOL Come on, That’s funny.

I am so lonely, but not alone. I have been on countless encounters.

There is no love, so there is no love. Sex yes, no love. I

found it difficult to achieve an orgasm under these circumstances.

Yet I can get off almost immediately from my thoughts sometimes

3 to 5 times a day. What is wrong with me? I don’t want

to change it. I like it. How do I find someone that is not looking

for a deal, to be honest with me about her sexual needs? Are you

trapped in a relationship where they put it on you, then changed

the rules after marriage? It freaking sucks.

Joke: On your wedding night you ask your spouse to put on

your pants. She says they are too big. You say that’s right. I wear

the pants in the family. She then asks you to put on her panties.

You say I can’t get into those. She says and you won’t with that

attitude. LOL Laugh you Dickhead.

Just a thought, if we win their hearts through their stomachs

and pledge to provide their daily bread, won’t they go to great

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lengths to protect that. The world is ours for the taking. God will

take his place.

Hey another note: I am a coward. I don’t want to go fight and

die in a war that is not supported. We already did that in Vietnam.

My dad paid that price. Let’s not duplicate that mistake. I’ll get

into it further later on, but sometimes we react when we should

be listening.

Be aware, when you are finally able to make the response that

you want to make, at the opportune time, it will inevitably cause

regret-- You’ve got Mail

Hey, if any of this sounds like a bar room talk,You know the

talk. It’s the talk after you leave the office and you share what

you really think about with a friend. You do not have to worry

about your job, I’ll take the hit for you. But this is what we all talk

about. Speaking of bar, I could use a drink.

Okay, I’m tipsy. Let’s really get in to this. I am best in this

arena. Did you ever see that episode of WKRP in Cincinnati.

Johnny Fever got quicker in his response the drunker he got. That

was funny as hell. It was a lie, but it was funny. As I watch the

news, I am ready for your bullshit. Can I get a witness. Hey, I’ve

never tried this. Can I get a amen? Bet your ass, I won’t show

up drunk like the dad in Hoosiers. I’ve got your number and I’m

sharing it with the world. By the time you read this, I’ll be sober.

Well, probably not, but you won’t find me. LOL That’s funny you

stiff ass mother freaker.

Do you know why I don’t use the term F. U. C. K? It is derived

from an earlier time where people were persecuted and put

into stockade’s, spit upon, loathed and despised. It stands for:

“FOR UNLAWFUL CARNEL KNOWLEDGE”.

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Now are you beginning to see who was in charge at the time.

Ye without sin cast the first stone. I don’t like that word. It is

dirty. It is foul. It is offensive. Don’t use it. It represents ignorance.

It represents hurt. It represents suppression. It represents

death. It represents men hurting God’s children. It represent the

path of the insane males without restraint.

Where did you ever hear words like that, I’m going to have to

wash your mouth out with soap. Hypocrites.

Not the dreaded Lifeboy. – A Christmas Story

Oh don’t worry, there is no soap for you. We live in a world

where you can pick up the phone and file a complaint. The ones

that are being suppressed are the ones trying to teach our children

values and morals and the ones that are hurtful get away with it. Is

there truly a hotline for us abused children? Is it like Afghanistan?

When I put my faith in you, will you pull out and leave me with

my aggressors? I want to believe in you. I need to believe in you.

I have to believe me. But you leave me hanging to live a life of

torment. Either come or don’t come at all. I have worked my deal.

I am safe for now. You screw things up. How can I have faith in

you when traditionally you have left?

I Am speaking to you, the oppressed. Are you ENSLAVED?

Endeavor to Persevere

You can only count on the 5 talent man for so much. You

must make a stand. I know that you have. I watch the tyranny.

I can’t wait for them to be judged, but for now it is free

will. It will be bloody, that I WILL not change

Have you ever noticed the difference between fighting for

something and being given something? I say thanks for the things

given to me. I cherish the things I fight for. Our forefathers fought

so that we may have a better life than they. Why do we act as if

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we have been given this right? Because we have grown into an

entitlement generation. We have lost sight of what our forefathers

fought for, so that we can have “IT”.

Nations of the World Hear Me

Your God is not a Divisive God

Man Suppresses

God Loves

I am sorry my global brothers, the five talent nation is broke.

You will have to pick up your own pitchfork and demand your

freedom. I promise you, what we earn is much sweeter than what

we are given.

Oh, as usual. I have deviated off the course. Back to marriage.

How many bad marriages do you know of?

Are you in one?

How can you change it and not lose your children?

I don’t have a freaking clue, I failed. Believe me, when you

make that jump, it will hurt you. Search your soul. Talk to your

spouse. They have the same thoughts. They may still be thinking

of the better deal. There is always a better deal out there. The best

deal is the one that you make with each other. Find contentment

and you will find happiness.

I used to bitch about the school lunch program. It just didn’t

seem fair for my parents. My dad told me a story about him delivering

milk to an orphanage as a kid. He said they were eating

better than him. He was being fed by a single mom. He was not

eating well. I have since changed my thoughts. After seeing how

a lot of people live, I am thankful that these kids get to eat two

meals a day for free. It is highly likely it is all they will have for

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the day. I love the stories of my dad. He was a saver, his brother

was a spender. How did that work out you might ask. I’ll tell you

as he told me. His brother ate every ice cream and watched every

movie with his own earnings. It was a great summer. My dad

stacked and saved. When it became school time. It became family

time. My dad bought school clothes for both he and his brother.

Man, now that has got to suck. At least he didn’t have to swim

through 3 miles of alligators to get to school. That’s another story.

LOL The fact of the matter is, when all of the chips are down, you

do what you have to do. You accept it, you deal with it, you appreciate

it, you learn from it and you know God has a higher calling

for you. It is your family. You do for your family. We are all

family. My dad now has a sense of pride for doing what needed

to be done for his family. Dude, that is the character that I want

to live by. Step up and be a man. I don’t like the unfairness. Why

should I work, while you lay amuck? It is not fair. It sucks. But I

strive for better, even if I have to carry you. Don’t be offended by

what I call you, for you are what you are. A “N”.

Why do you call me a “N”? I am your brother. I am white.

What is your point? I am colorblind. “N” seems to fit you, oh

blight and sponge of our family. You bring us down. You bring

nothing. Why?

I do not have an answer for that. We will have to ask a “N”.

Don’t get your panties in a wad. This “N” is white. Maybe yellow

or red. They come in all colors.

Before my brother gets pissed off at me, this was a metaphor.

LOL

You don’t mind me calling you a “N” do you? It does exemplify

what you are.

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Sorry, I went off on a tangent and I want to make a plea to everyone,

that single mothers need our help. I cannot imagine trying

to raise children without any help. What it must be like to have to

work two or maybe three jobs just to put food on the table and a

roof over their heads. In biblical times a man was responsible for

the well-being of his family. When did we lose that responsibility?

It is frowned upon and considered the woman’s fault. That’s

crap. It takes two to tango. But what about the children? They are

the victims in every divorce. I cannot articulate what Oliver Twist

or Tom Sawyer or any of the other orphans have gone through. I

am fortunate to have the greatest parents in the world. What type

of a parent are you?

These single moms need your help. Don’t feed them like seed

to the birds. Feed them eternally with your passion legacy gift.

Single moms, I am talking to you. Those of you who have found

your blessings, don’t forget where you came from. Those of you

that are struggling, keep the faith and care for your children. It is

up to you. Is there a man among you? Are you a man? Your body

may procreate, your essence will nurture.

Those Chihuahuas have got some BIG balls don’t they? They

will chase after a much larger dog like they are going to eat him

up. Their balls have to ride shotgun, because they are too big to

sit in their own lap. It is like flies. They eat shit and bother people.

When you have had enough, you put your blue frozen drink with

the umbrella in it down and go and get the swatter. If that doesn’t

work, you must bring out the spray. Am I talking about dogs and

bugs or am I talking about Nations? Let’s try the swatters first.

It seemed to work with Khadafi. Give James Bond and Rambo a

call and not commit with the whole damn Army. If that doesn’t

work, we’ll hit it with the spray. Let’s try the spies like us and

the like. Damn, these things are expensive and we may be more

effective knocking out their infrastructure. It’s working for them.

But we are committed now. Peoples lives are counting on us.

Can you imagine being the one that turned someone in and then

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your protection bolted on you? It looks as if you are ready to bolt

anytime. Screw you buddy. Find him yourself. That big dog has

already bit my entire family and my son and I are the only ones

left. (Hey, this is a hypothetical story. You don’t have to politicize

it as fact, although it probably is somewhere)

I warn you, when the time comes when you are able to say

exactly what you want at the time you want, you will inevitably

regret it. - You’ve got Mail

It’s regret alright and we should have the Lions share. Not for

trying to right a wrong, but the manner that we took. Shit happens.

You can either stick your head in the sand or deal with it.

We have no choice but to deal with it.

This applies to everyone. I know numerous people that when

there is a problem, they run and hide. That only makes the problem

fester more. You must step up and handle your confrontations

and let the pieces fall where they may. You will lose business and

friends if you don’t.

Have you ever seen that movie Coward of the County? You

could have heard a pin drop, when Tommy stopped and locked

the door. That is what the heirs of the 9/11 victims want to see. I

don’t blame them. Forgiveness would be very difficult to achieve.

Sometimes you have to fight when you’re a man.

Go ahead hit me right there, I dare you. I triple dog dare you.

Okay, I’ll give you that one. You hit me again, I’m coming after you.

Turn the other cheek. I am sorry Jesus, but you are pussyfooting

around. Sometimes you do have to fight when you’re a man.

Our Father knows this, we are in the Joshua Era.

I AM instigating nothing but peace

But if the rod is the only thing you understand

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I WILL smite you to the dust from which you came

Hold up my Father, haven’t you given me the opportunity for

World Peace?

The clock is ticking, make it fast. I Am growing impatient

Let me tell you about my mom. What a woman. She is the

best. She is so concerned about me even now. How can I ever repay

her? She is a lot like me. Scatterbrained and you never know

when she will say something that will stop you in your tracks. My

dad and I discount her, but we both appreciate her knowledge.

She can put you in your place in a hurry. She is very smart in

ways that are not on the surface. I love her for keeping my dad

and myself in check. She is our Rock.

I am so very fortunate to have parents like this. I know very

few of you have this. I am sorry. They are my family. Is your family

strained like mine. The reasoning is fine, just fine.

I wanted to stop writing, but I realize that many of you do not

have what I have. What a terrible thing to reach out for guidance

and find that your dad gives you a snake. I cannot understand that

and would never try to articulate that. I cannot. What a torment

that must be to have to live in that environment. It is all around

you. Man’s restraint is not subject to economic boundaries. The

best fail also. Restraint is a measure of a man. What kind of man

are you?

I could spend a lot of time on this subject, but I feel like you

have a better understanding than I could ever have. While that

would have definitely screwed me up. The ones that you look

to for guidance are the same ones that hurt you. Cry out. This is

wrong, you know it. They know it and we will hear your cries

for help.

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Jenny Got moved to her grandmother’s house and I liked that

because it was closer for me. Jenny and I are like peas and carrots.

Pray with me Forrest, Pray with me. Please God make me a bird,

so I can fly far far away. Please God make me a bird, so I can fly

far far away. Ouch, so sad to have to live that way. The people

that are supposed to protect you are the same ones that harm you.

There is a special place in hell for them.

E-mail alert, I am slamming pretty hard here. You can interject

any time.

You are doing just fine my son. They need a wake-up

call. It cannot come from me verbally. You are witnessing my

wrath every day. It comes from Faith

Yes I am. Why are you killing so many people? I know you

said that it is to be, but I really don’t like seeing the pain. Those

poor people in Haiti. These disasters are growing in number just

as you said they would. Just like birthing pains.

It is the time of the Lion

Learn from the Lamb

The Lion will take care of his own

When the hyenas took over Pride Rock/Plymouth Rock, we

saw how that government was working. There has to be a great

leader. One that understands balance and the circle of life.

I sure wish I could find another way to record your message.

My finger is killing me. What is the most important thing to you?

How far would you go? I’m bitching about a finger. WTH

I’m tired and drunk, let’s go again tomorrow. You said don’t

be drunk on wine, so I’m hammered on vodka. If any angels did

come, I don’t think they could wake my drunk ass up.

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Lord, you wouldn’t let me sleep last night. Please, I thought

I was done.

Man, I still can’t get over what the false prophets say. No

wonder it will be hard for me and that I must hibernate after delivery.

Where was that island on Castaway. Gilligan’s Island looked

pretty cool, I’ll go there. As long as they have those frozen blue

drinks with fruit and a umbrella in it. LOL I’ll be digging me

some Mary Ann. Don’t want any Gingers. High maintenance.

Been there done that and it just ain’t worth it.

Stick and move. That was my plan until I met (2nd Wife). I fell

in love. I will never marry again. The pain is too difficult. This is

a pain that you cannot articulate. Damn, it will make you do crazy

shit. I am so glad that I live three hours away. I would be a stalker

from hell. I can’t help myself. I want to know. Is she as miserable

as I am? I want to pray for her to recover, but I am selfish. She

is the one that I love, I don’t want to see her with anyone else. It

makes me crazy.

I still love her and always will. Do I love my image of her or

her soul? I will determine that from her own confession of love

for our Father. How can I accept her back into my life? Oh how I

want to. What would you expect from me? Forgiveness? Forget?

I want to hear her heart. I AM is a forgiving God and so am I a

forgiving Man. I can not suppress my Love. I pray that it is a true

love for a life long partner, not a lust love that is not sustainable.

In the meantime, I will be getting some purple putang in North

Africa. Yeah, all you dudes can live vicariously through me. LOL

We are insane males after all.

RESTRAINT!!!

Sit your monkey ass down and let’s smoke awhile. It is

what it is. You cannot make someone love you. Who’s next

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I know Lord, but it is hard. I compare every woman with her

and they will never measure up to my dreams. Not even her, she

would never measure up now. How can I solve that?

Think

Put everything into perspective. Do not go off half cocked.

If she will lay with you, she will lay with another. What do you

have to offer? Is she is looking for the best deal?

I do want to get some bottom land to impress her. - Sgt. York

Is that what she wants? She does want security. You

wouldn’t run off would you? Be honest about what you are

both fixing to embark on. You are more alike than you know.

It seems like a game to meet and seduce women. I took a

course and it sent shivers down my spine. I really have no idea

who you are. You are drawn to a persona that I do not like. Why

do you not like it? I am just not a bad boy.

I watch bad boys with some of the hottest women. WTH They

are slaves to them and all they want to do is please them. I just

can’t figure it out. I guess I need some more books or just say

screw it. I’m leaning toward screw it. I don’t have a vibrator, but

I have a fleshlight. LOL

I have a friend that has given up on women. I listened to him

and tried to persuade him differently. I am now starting to understand

his position. Why???

Let’s talk about churches shall we. There are so many good

churches and pastors. Peace be with them and thank you. I am

not the judge for anyone. A lot of people are helped from church

efforts. Just don’t be afraid to examine the records and intimate

details. The one that places himself as judge and jury should be

ready for such scrutiny. I AM is Tired of you screwing the flock.

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Burn in hell you son of a bitch. You use God’s name to get your

wiener wet.

I listen to the Revelations song, it causes me pain. My true

love will never be. But my True Love will be Forever. My love of

Christ prevails. You have caused my demise. Why do You subject

me to such?

Nathan, my faithful servant. There is much for you. Be

patient. You will be rewarded

Your love rewards me enough. Why do I feel so empty? You

have given me everything. I have money, I have health, I have no

contentment.

Balance. You must have balance. It applies to all life. – Mr. Miagi

How do I get balance?

Patience

Make Love, Not War

Love will make you

Can you take someone for your own? You are taking on a lifetime

responsibility. Are you sure? Love her as you love yourself.

January 17, 2010

Gooooooooooooood Morning God!!!

Are you still with me?

Always and Forever

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You know the one thing that I did pick up from the Book of

Eli. He explained faith perfectly. There is no audio or video. You

feel it on your heart, So much it compels you to do things you

ordinarily wouldn’t do. Have you had a heart to heart with our

Creator, our God, our Savior?

I have been thinking more and more about the antichrist. He

is not of flesh until he becomes your own flesh. A very powerful

adversary all the same within ourselves.

It is wise to understand your adversaries. Wouldn’t you agree?

– Hunt for Red October

So if our children are programmed to look for good signs, in

three generations we will see your vision for us complete? You

know why it is easier to see the bad stuff. It is how you’re raised.

It’s hard to keep a positive attitude when the crabs keep dragging

you down.

Child abusers will burn in hell. I don’t believe there is a get

out of hell free card on that one. You can take that one up with

God, but if I get a vote, you’ll burn in hell for eternity. You bastard.

There will be a place off to itself with the other really bad

sins at Leper Land. You will be able to see the horrific sin that

you have or may have committed in your heart. Even in your

mind. You will see the consequences and learn from them. I hope

you will leave with much more restraint on your heart and mind.

You’re sick, twisted, erotic thoughts compel you to do things you

wouldn’t ordinarily do. I hope it deplores you. I hope it makes

you sick at your stomach. I hope it squashes those erotic thoughts.

I know you have them. We all do.

RESTRAINT!!!

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Hey that’s a cool thought. We’ll call it the restraint camp.

Isn’t it going to be cool walking through the different lessons

of Christ via videos. We will all be walking around wearing sack

cloths, eating fish on unleavened bread. Far Out. Sounds pretty

groovy to me. The movie Passion of the Christ will be on the

big screen 24/7. A constant reminder of what he did for you. My

Brother, my God, my Savior.

Thank God for the mighty beach mouse. It’s a very cool drive.

22 miles on the peninsula. Many of the trees are dead from Hurricane

Ivan. It reminds me what happened to Pride Rock when the

hyenas were in power.

No Direction

No Balance

No Shepherd

I love that movie when Capt. Hook shoots through Peter’s

checkbook. Writing a check to save our children reminds me of

the lukewarm check writing Christians. They want to buy their

salvation and make themselves feel good about themselves. I am

not your judge. Who am I to judge you. Let your heart write the

check. They are the only ones that will cash in heaven.

I pray to you Father, let this book be the one, two punch for

God.

The Acts of

Nathan the Prophet

Book of Nathan II

REDEMPTION

You know it’s amazing when you break through to the other

side. You are so aware of how silly we conduct our lives.

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Status:

Buying things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to

impress people we don’t like.

It’s a recipe for disaster.

It is Sunday. A day of rest and worship. I am really digging

what you are putting on my heart Lord. Please don’t stop.

You know that I AM here for you

Always and Forever

Let your mind follow what your heart seeks

Free Will

Always Been

Always Be

Now I thought that quote was for faith?

Time is money. Power is money. Money is money.

Now let me get that straight – Volunteers

Fight fight fight for Washington state

brainwashing/programming

We are what we have created through free will and faith. Can

you think back to your childhood. Were you the one everyone

wanted to be like? Or were you the one seeking who you wanted

to be like? Guess what my brother. They don’t have a clue either.

They are probably pretty aren’t they? Have you gotten comfortable

with yourself yet? It is called confidence. It is very attractive.

Chris Rock told a joke about a really fat girl. He begins to

harass her. She says, oh no my brother. There is some good pussy

up under there. LOL

239

Well, I thought it was funny. That confidence is very attractive

is it not? Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins. It will

kill you. Take care of your body, it is the only one that you have.

But be very careful to remember to be comfortable with yourself.

Have a heart to heart with our God.

Don’t give your power over to others. When you allow yourself

to brood over an act of someone else, it will eat you up on the

inside. Guess what, that party that you are sticking needles into

is oblivious and screwed up your day or more. Forgive them, so

you can receive forgiveness. There is only one that His approval

is mandatory. That is our God.

How do I find my talent? Have you seen that commercial

where the mom is teaching her son football, golf, tennis etc. He

sucks at all of them. Then he reaches her heart with a song solo

of appreciation. I am crying now just thinking of that moment.

If you are in something you don’t like, strive for more. Don’t

be petty and blame everyone else for your situation. If IT is to be,

IT is up to me. That will mean you have to put down your beer,

get off the porch and get a job.

Do you want to hear a racist joke? Sure you do, you love my

jokes. There were four tribes brought over from Africa. The first

tribe was called the Mo Tea tribe. They were the most successful.

You see them in restaurants walking around saying to the patrons,

Mo Tea?

The Wee Bee tribe went into sharecropping. They go door-todoor

saying Wee Bee selling tomatoes now.

The third tribe is the Moan Back tribe. They got jobs with

the city. You can see them hanging off the back of garbage trucks

hollering Moan Back.

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The Do Da tribe had given up. They place all of their faith in

someone else doing it for them. They have intelligent conversations

with their peers. Do Da welfare check come on a Monday

or Do Da welfare check come on a Tuesday?

You know that joke is really not too funny. That is the racist

culture I have been raised in. Look at yourselves. Should I be a

racist? Let’s just put a fence around this community and throw

peanuts to them. Wait a minute. We are already doing that. Hey,

sounds like a pretty cool gig. Let me sit my monkey ass down.

Hand me a beer.

This seems pretty uneventful. What else do you do all day

with your time?

This is pretty much it. If I don’t get too drunk, I do have to

go pick up my girl at six o’clock up there at the church’s fried

chicken place. After all, it is her car I’m driving around.

You mean to tell me you sit around and get drunk all day

while your girl works to pay your bills?

Yup, it’s a pretty cool gig isn’t it?

No, I don’t think it’s a cool gig at all. So my brother, you

won’t mind me calling you a “N” will you? That is what your

actions exemplify.

Why are you calling me a “N”, I’m white?

What is your point, it has nothing to do with the color of your

skin. A “N” is someone that does not strive to better themselves

and sponges off of their brother. You are a blight on your family,

your community and your God. Fix yourself or waller in the slop

you create for yourself and stop complaining. The peanut truck

will be here shortly.

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Racism will remain as long as you allow it to. Those kids

need a daddy. And more importantly, they need a Father.

Look at your own life. Do you want your children following

in your footsteps? Racism is colorblind. Tell me a few of your

honkey jokes.

The white cop on Sanford and Son was always made out to

be a blithering idiot. No one cried foul. There is no white entertainment

television network and no white history month. Stop!!!

Let’s have an American History Month. You are creating your

own divisiveness. The descendents are ready to move forward.

Are You? Or do you want a check?

It is very difficult to overcome racism when you see how people

conduct their lives. You should see some of the foreclosures

that I have purchased. Freaking nasty. White, Black, Yellow and

Green. Humans can be nasty. Do you have a family member that

is nasty? How can you help him, not support him? Do not support

a better standard of living at your expense. Let him rise up and

take his mat for himself. Let him put down his excuses and make

a better life for himself. I tell you the Truth. I AM tired of the

excuses. How can you be a betterment for your neighbor? Cursed

be the sponge and blight on the family.

I am getting better with interracial marriage. Just make sure

you know all the ingredients. As I said, racism will be very difficult

to get over, but as we have seen in our Presidential election,

we are ready.

In this fight you saw two people killing themselves for their

Country. I guess that is better than 20 million. When I came here

tonight. I seen a lot of people who didn’t like me, so I guess I

didn’t like you much none either. But through this fight, I seen a

lot of changing. The way youse felt about me and the way I felt

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about you. So what I am saying is, if you can change and I can

change, WE CAN ALL CHANGE – Rocky IV

We are trying to change other cultures that we are completely

ignorant about. We have our hands full right here at home.

Just calling them like I see them – Bill O’Reilly

How’s it working out for you? We cannot change racism by

feeding you peanuts. We give you peanuts, so you keep us in

power. You are being enslaved and don’t even know it. If that is

the environment that you choose, don’t you deserve to be looked

down upon as a unsightly, festered blight and sponge on society?

Food, water, shelter, health care and freedom. You are entitled to

these by the sweat from your brother, but it won’t be comfortable.

That’s on you.

Lord, I am doinking them right between the eyes. I understand

now why I am to remain invisible. Some crazy bastard

might want to kill me. Please understand monkeys come in all

colors. It’s time for the truth. Can you handle it? I still have that

mirror. I have it right here.

Look harder. Your Father is in you. - Drafiki

Simba, you are more than you have become – Mufasa

Say it again, say it again. MUFASA

The hyenas will always mock what they do not understand.

There is a balance and unfortunately for us, they are in control.

How do we take back Pride Rock.

Be all that you can be in God’s Army. God doesn’t need a

draft. It is voluntary and you are already automatically registered

the day you were born. You might already owe the government

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$131,000 and change, but you are completely debt-free with our

God. You will meet the supreme commander. Are you ready? Are

you sure?

I loved it when Ramses was using the scales against Moses.

Putting weight on one side for all of his supposed problems. Then

Moses lays a brick on his side. That is the brick of mankind.

Ramses pointed out the rash financial decisions of Moses. Raided

the Temple Grains. One day in Seven for rest. Ramses is right

and that is where we are at right now. The entitlements can not

be balanced with the revenue unless the bricks of Mankind build

our Father the Pyramid that is truly Everlasting. A pyramid built

with Faith and Saved Souls. An Everlasting Entity that completes

the eternal circle.

What does eternity look like? You know how tough this life

has been. Imagine never reaching the finish line and enduring

unspeakable hardships. I could be wrong though, quite often I

am, let’s examine the facts. There might not be everlasting peace

in God’s kingdom. But what if there is. I like my chances. How

about you?

I cannot believe that we are trying to grow our economy with

more government jobs. Do you understand that government is the

cart and Wall Street is the mule? No wonder mules get stubborn.

Look at the load we have put on. And we are still stacking.

Can you imagine what the Iranians are going through as they

fight for their freedom. They want what we have. If you can’t

imagine, you better start trying. That is the way we are headed.

Government controlling our lives.

A quick thought. Jesus, I cannot fill your shoes. You are Sinless

and I am ripe with sin. No one can fill your shoes. We all sin.

It is from your grace we find forgiveness. I am the Prodigal Son.

Thank you for giving your life for mine.

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We have a code here son. Have your ever put your life in

another man’s hands, and have him put yours in his. We abide by

honor and code. People die if the code is broken.

Do we get to exercise our own personal set of values?

We should have stuck up for Willie. We should have stuck up

for the weak. – A Few Good Men

I don’t believe that Pres. Obama understands the direction

his advisers want to take us. I really with all of my heart wanted

to see “Change We Can Believe In”. If this is the change that

we are to have, I’ll pass. The first African-American President.

How very cool to have evolved to this point. We need change and

Obama knows it. I cannot fault him for his misdirection. It is a

new direction after all. I recognize that we are in need of a direction

that has only been delivered to you now. Imagine turning to

God for change.

Hey that sounds like a good campaign slogan for the Leper

party.

IMAGINE TURNING TO

GOD

FOR CHANGE

Unfortunately God is always the last resort. Those of you who

have been down on your knees in private know what I am talking

about. Have you prayed today? I had to remind myself to pray

while I was wrapped up in the rat race. Now it is all I do. He afforded

me the time. I promise you, if you will take the time daily

to ask for direction, help, love, understanding, he will hear you

if your heart is in the right place with Christ. Keep your hands in

your pockets. Don’t do a look at me, look at me. Do raise your

hands to Him in private.

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I AM

YOUR FATHER

I WILL

PICK YOU UP

Is your heart right to deserve to be picked up by the Father?

We will be snatched up. I just hope I have done a good enough

job for my Father so that we get to exercise the 1000 year option

on the original contract.

Imagine living in a world where everyone had food, water,

shelter, health care and freedom. Can you?

Hey, here’s a new deal. If we do it right, it may turn into an

eternal contract. After all, we were created for our Fathers enjoyment.

I can tell you truthfully it is a wonderful place to be when

you truly accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

What others do, pay it no never mind. I have told you, you will

be bitten. Learn from it. Forget it and continue your plight for the

glory of God. What could you have done differently? Sometimes

it is just best to let it go. If it comes back, then it was meant to be.

You are at the fork in the road. Pick it up and run with it. God is

all the gift you will ever need.

I always wondered when Dorothy got to the fork in the road,

they had to make a decision and choose a path. Don’t you wonder

what was on that other path? They made it to the Wizard of Oz, so

they must have made the right choice. Our country is choosing a

path, I just don’t see it merging with the right path.

Lord, did they choose the right path?

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It is free will my son

It is the fork of life

Every second, of everyday

You live with the consequences of your decisions. Wow, how

cool. So if you think things through and make an intelligent decision,

if you get bit you kind of expected it.

Oh, good story I picked up in my DUI class.

A man is a top of a snow capped mountain and encounters

a snake. The snake is cold and knows that it will not live if he

doesn’t reach the bottom. He pleads with the man to put him in

his coat to keep him warm and take him to the desired destination.

The man proclaims, but you’re a snake and will bite me.

The snake says, I promise you I will not. Please help me. So the

man puts the snake into his coat and delivers him to the bottom.

He reaches into his coat to remove the snake and is bitten. Son of

bitch, you told me you wouldn’t bite me. The snake replies, you

knew I was a snake when you picked me up and put me in your

coat. You goofy bastard.

Man, I have had some snakes in my coat. Haven’t you? If not,

screw you. You are a liar. Believe me when I tell you. The pain is

not near as bad if you are somewhat expecting it.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer – the Godfather

Everyone has pain

Everyone sins

Free will

I made you broken

Will you serve 666 or Him?

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This is the coolest talent you could have ever given me. Aletheia.

I can remember all kinds of shit just at the opportune time.

You are feeding me Lord. Keep them coming. I promise to keep

this journal of my thoughts.

I must admit, you are right. Just when I was able to say the

exact thing that I wanted to say, at the exact time I wanted to say

it, I inevitably felt regret. - You’ve got Mail

It is amazing to read through and see how my own life has

evolved. Quite unpleasant actually. Believe me, when you get to

decide, you will be ready to meet your maker with no regrets. He

can have me anytime he wants.

This man could take us any time he wants – Crocodile Dundee

II

We are on his turf and need to learn to play by his rules. We

will lose if we don’t.

STOP!!!

We’re going to die man. If we don’t do what he says, we are

not going to make it. You’ve lost the compass. Find it!!! Assholes.

- Band of the Hand

What an insightful sleeper movie that was. You see the leaders

or baddies of Miami were dropped off in the Everglades to

come together or die. They struggled, but when it came down

to life or death, they joined together. Thus the band of the hand.

Are you ready for Miami? They go back as a unit with respect for

everyone’s personal talents. They are met with by the man of the

man. When they conquered the man, they still had to deal with

the real man behind the scenes.

Right will always prevail in an open forum, but we don’t know

who’s behind the scenes pulling the strings. Who is pulling the

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strings of our Government? This is a must-see. We must all band

together as one strong unit and appreciate everyone’s talents.

Mr. Martini, how about some music? I got to take a shower

now. I want to be clean for God. It is his day. BRB

One more confession.

Well its $45,000 Forrest. Mama said a little white lie won’t

hurt anything. – Forrest Gump

I did have a one night stand that I did conceal in my first book.

Now as I watch our icons go down, it seems important for me to

cleanse and ask for forgiveness once again. The Eye of the Tiger

could use some forgiveness. All he has to do is ask. Our God will

forgive him, I’m not so sure about his wife.

Lord, please forgive me for being adulterous. If this seems

petty to you, it is you that I am speaking to. Faithfulness to your

spouse means a lot to me. It can make you crazy with all kinds of

thoughts. Throw in a couple of meds and oh shit. Where is that

line of reality? If you don’t want to be there, cut it loose. Just

don’t take out your frustrations on your partner. Remember at

one time you accepted each other as life partners, an a extension

of yourself. Believe me, the deal you have is the best one. Work

on it. If your partner refuses, cut it loose. It’s better for the kids.

I have a choice, watch Obama or Groundhog Day. I already

know you have to do it over and over ‘til you get it right. Look at

our lives. Guess I’ll watch Obama.

Great speech as always. Ho Hum

We do continue to repeat history. Over and over again. Not

learning from our mistakes, just creating more debt to continue.

Kind of like the other fallen empires that debased their currency

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financing wars. That is why I’m going to buy silver with God’s

money, so when our currency is readjusted to precious metals,

God will have a nice sum for the dream team to take over with. I

will have the hard stuff, because I don’t want my government to

recall them for pennies on the dollar like they did in 1933. The

people that abided by the government’s demands got screwed.

I’ll tell them I threw it all in the ocean and made a wish. You

calling me a liar. Screw you. How much currency is circulating

anyway? Oh that’s right, you stopped reporting that in 2006. I

wonder why?

READ MY LIPS

NO MORE CORRUPTION

We mock what we don’t understand. – Spies like Us

Knoc Sune Cowl

White Warrior – Kickboxer

training/programming

Listen

Listen while you pray

You will hear what you want to hear. Free will

Listen for Christ

What are you hearing?

You have baggage.

Check it at the door

Listen for Christ, look for the signs. They are all around you.

Look for good, it prevails over evil. Many warriors have come.

Listen while you train. Listen to your ancestors. They cry out to

you.

Why do kids have to be so freaking cruel – Bench Warmers

I have never been in a physical fight. I’ve always talked my

way out of it. I am a bit of a coward and don’t take pain well. I

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would like to meet up with my childhood bully. After watching

Kickboxer, I feel like I could kick some ass. The nerds you bully

today, you will kiss their ass tomorrow. Not on the left side, not

on the right side, but right in the middle. I still remember his

name. Ahern. What a Dick. I’d like to knock his Dick in the dirt.

Sometimes you have to fight when you’re a man – Coward

of the County

You will call them boss, Dick Head. We do have our sweet

revenge. Nerds, Nerds, Nerds.

Hold it right there coach. Say what you got to say son.

 U. N. Jefferson

Don’t let the bully rule your life, make the move that I didn’t.

First tell the person that is in authority. You can expect an ass

whipping for doing that, but you will be expecting it. As soon as

you can, pick up an equalizer and knock the crap out of the bully.

You will be justified if the authority was not successful in keeping

you safe.

Be strong, make good fight. Remember balance Danielson. I

just saved you two months of beating – Mr. Miagi

Step up and knock the shit out of them. They’ll think twice

next time. If not, knock the shit out them with a bigger stick.

Here’s an interesting scenario. Let’s just say the big guy is

getting picked on by the little guy. But he wants to be diplomatic

and not use the power that he has to crush the little guy. Eventually

the little guy will get a shot in that could be fatal. That sounds

a lot like the United States.

You could’ve heard a pin drop, when Tommy stopped and

locked the door. – Coward of the County

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Just saw the dog from Family Guy say “whose leg do I have

to hump for a dry martini” LOL Funny, I wonder if our children

were amused?

I want to tell you about the riddle that I mentioned in the Book

of Nathan. The riddle was about Larry’s son. I will exchange Larry’s

name for God.

Riddle:

If God’s son is my son’s father, what is my relationship to God?

Give up? The answer is glaringly obvious. We are all children

of God. Okay, for the people that can’t think generationally. You

are God’s son.

I AM God’s son and you are God’s sons and daughters. He is

real and He loves you with all His Heart. Do you get what kind

of Love I am talking about here? ETERNAL

YOU ARE

NEVER

ALONE

I WILL

BE WITH

YOU

CALL ON

MY NAME

JESUS CHRIST

I AM

HERE

ALWAYS

AND

FOREVER

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I HOPE YOU REALIZE THAT JESUS CHRIST IS OUR

DEFENSE COUNSELOR BEFORE THE FATHER.

My friend Brian and his lady friend Kim, have both told me

they do not understand very much in my second manic episode. I

am going to cut and paste that chapter and explain my thoughts.

God was placing on my heart so many thoughts that I could not

write them down fast enough. It was like a waterfall. To encapsulate

the essence of the message, I was able to draw from segments

of the movie clips. These were in my reticular activating system

and brought from my subconscious to the forefront of my brain.

I hope you enjoy.

January 28, 2010

I haven’t written my thoughts down for a few days and I pray

I can remember everything that you put on my heart. I want to

make sure to discuss my weekend with my son, because I was

trying to be a good dad and he refused to listen. But we will come

back to that one.

Lord, I asked you to give me some more credibility that my

mission for you is the correct mission. I am very fearful of being

on a slippery slope adding words to yours. It is my desire to

do your will. You gave me a very large piece to this puzzle this

morning and it will be up to your people to decide. I do not normally

point out the dots that I have found that have kept me on

a path to persevere. I do not want to draw any more attention to

myself than I have to. But I felt like this one is so enormous and

so wonderful, I must share.

My sign from God. He speaks to me in different ways. I am

looking to Him for guidance, not 666. It is my free will to serve

my creator and not Satan.

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I found this on the web written by David Ross. I will try and

get his permission to use his words.

Sura 38:26 is a quote from a book or oral-tradition of prophecy.

But not Muhammad’s. This was in Nathan’s context and was

most likely attributed to Nathan and Allah both.

As it happens, Nathan had been considered a canonical

prophet, worthy of a holy book, long before the Islamic and even

Christian eras. 1 Chronicles 29:29 runs, “As for the events of

King David’s reign, from beginning to end, they are written in

the records of Samuel the seer, the records of Nathan the prophet

and the records of Gad the seer”.

Sura 38:26, perhaps with a reworking of 2 Samuel 12 midway

toward Sura 38:21-25, could have provided an apocryphal Book

of Nathan, in the way mediaeval Jews and Englishmen forged

Books of Jasher. Admittedly this is speculation. No such book

has yet been found.

Lord, I had no idea the task that you have assigned me. You

did tell me that I would not be able to comprehend your reach.

And you also know me, when you put a riddle on my plate, I do

everything to solve it.

World Peace....for eternity.

Wow, what an honor. If my book has credibility with the prophetic

Islamic faith, we can all come to realize we are serving

the same Father. There is only one Father. Everything after that

is subject to man’s interpretation and free will. I understand that

my words that I am speaking for you my Father will be subject

to critical analysis. As I have told you, I am ready for my crucifixion.

Lord, I am not worthy of this honor. You have said that I am

ripe with sin. Why have you chosen me?

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Nathan, you are not worthy. That is why I gave you a

new name in Christ. Ophiuchus became you and you became

Ophiuchus and you gained the talents that come with Ophiuchus.

You Nathan, of your own free will, chose to serve ME

your CREATOR

Thank you God, you are who I live for and you are who I Am

and will ever be.

So you gave me these talents and they had been there the

whole time, but I had to seek them out for myself. By our own

free will, will determine whether you use your talents for the glory

of God or Satan.

If we can only come together as children of God. The possibilities

are endless of how we can help one another. I’ve asked

you this before, can you imagine Peace in the World? No hunger,

no disease and no wars. This has been God’s plan the whole

time. But our free will had to find his Kingdom on Earth as it is

in Heaven.

You may believe in any interpretation you wish. I will not

tread on your beliefs and I will not allow you to tread on mine.

I would suggest reading the Scriptures of Jesus Christ’ life. His

message was of love and helping your fellow man. That is all that

I am trying to achieve as well. I pray that we can all accept that we

serve a higher power. I would love to be your brother in Christ,

that is your free will.

As I think about this, I am reminded of the movie War Games.

A computer was built to simulate military strategies. One of the

games was global thermal nuclear war. The result of the game

was the realization that there are no winners. If we continue to

head in our present direction, this will come to pass.

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I also found it interesting that the computer’s name was Joshua.

The movie explains it was the creators son’s name. We are

still in the Joshua era searching to figure out God’s plan and go to

the promised land. Now I have to tell you the truth. If my vision

of world peace is your vision of world peace, that sounds like

the land of milk and honey to me. The whole earth is the land

of milk and honey. It is the responsibility of the five talent man

and the two talent man to explain to everyone how to invest into

themselves to please their God. As “One Nation Under God” I

consider it our personal and primary objective for our Lord and

Savior. We are the beacon nation and should blaze a path for

God’s glory.

Lord, will I see World Peace in my lifetime?

You will see One or the Other

Peace or Destruction

Health or Disease

Love or Hate

Life or Death

It is the Free Will of All to make that Choice

I Am your humble servant Lord, I will ask of your people to

search their own hearts to find their talents and Glorify You with

them.

That 666 riddle was tough. Who will we follow with the talents

you have bestowed upon us all? Free Will and Frame of

Reference.

Nathan my Son, my faithful servant. You are only now

beginning to see My Vision illuminate in your heart

Lord, a smile comes across my face as I reflect back on Rocky’s

boss cheering him on to victory. Saying, “Go For It ROCK”.

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Peter was your Rock and I want to be your Rock as well. He

denied you three times before the cock crowed before realizing

what he had done. He Denied you. My cock is crowing over unsatisfying

sexual encounters. To find balance, I must find love.

My love is for you my Lord, but I yearn for a partner.

Can you tell that I am getting a little drunk. My inhibitions are

lightened with drink. So are my decision-making skills. But a lot

of times, I want to talk to you like a drunk at the bar. We are all

lepers. We all have our problems. I pray in your time of need, you

call on our Father. If you have not reached that point in time in

your life, God blessed you. When you do reach that point in your

life, know that He is there for you to rely on. I tell you the truth, if

it were not for our Creator, I would be dead of my own free will.

You have the free will to worship any God you would like. I

have put all my chips on Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. You

have seen what God does for his chosen people and you see what

God can do for his chosen people if anyone stands against them.

They are still misinformed, but this will be a reckoning. They want

to place blame on the Romans, but it was the Pharisees that condemned

Jesus. Do not condemn the Pharisees, just as I do not condemn

Judas. They were all part of the plan, the Masters Plan. I have

asked our God to forgive Judas for his betrayal to Jesus Christ our

Lord and Savior. I have asked for forgiveness for the betrayer of

mankind. I am sure my brother Jesus Christ, the only Man God to

ever grace our presence will concur forgiveness. It was all part of a

plan that is now being illuminated to my heart as we speak.

Lord, World Peace has been spoken of for my entire lifetime.

Mostly by the beautiful bimbos at Bikini contests. How can my

words change the world and deliver World Peace?

It is Time

The World is Ripe

My Time has Come

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What do you mean by that?

You know very well what I mean

You have worshiped Satan

You have sinned an unforgivable sin

Have you asked for repentance?

I forgive you, sin no more

Okay, got a question for you. There are things that I do, that I

think are sinning against you. But I continue to do them and ask

for your forgiveness. I am unclear on how I can receive forgiveness

for continually committing these sins.

Are these sins hurting someone?

Are these things glorifying you or your God?

Are these things embarrassing?

Are these things front page material?

If not, stop beating yourself up about them. These are the

things you keep private until you allow a partner into your

weird little world

Weird Little World

My brothers and sisters in Christ, I have so much to tell you. I

am going to talk to you about all the things that are embarrassing,

humiliating, unspoken and just downright bad. These are things

that must not be censored, these are things that must be understood

to conquer.

You know, I feel like I’m on the let’s make a deal show. Curtain

number one has shown me a way to solve our nation’s fiscal

woes. And curtain number two has shown me the loss of two

wives, one daughter, the scrutiny of loving parents, scorn from

peers and a completely unbalanced life. All for the sake of a God

that I am not sure exists. I’ll take curtain number two. As curtain

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number two is drawn, more options are put upon me. You have

solved your nation’s fiscal woes and can take the rewards now or

you can risk it all and go for World Peace.

I guess I would always go for it. Howie Mandel would be

proud.

We always go for it, that’s why we are cons – The Longest

Yard

I guess I will go for it now. There are so many prophets that

are being suppressed, one never knows when the next one will

finish the task and King David can finally rest.

Lord, I am so very turned off to organized religious groups.

Why have you callused my heart for them, they do such great

work for you?

The Church has not changed since the day of your Savior.

I Am sending you to make retribution. The true Churches

will become the facilities that not only spread my word, but

facilitate my Love with Health Care

I thought the people would donate these facilities?

Nathan, are you not a business man. The Lord your God

is about to take account for the ones that have been collecting

in my Holy Name

I dig it. So you are saying that there is a fast track to giving

your people health care?

Yes, Yes, Yes. There is always a fast track when you have

the Will of your God and the needs of his people

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Sounds good to me. They have been a business for God, can

they be a Healer for God?

Each will search their Heart

Each will find their Heart

Each will find my Blessings

Each will live for an Eternity

So while we are above ground we need to tithe to our churches

and passions and when we die, never stop?

Men with Talents

Never Rest

Men with Talents

Coach their Brother

Men with Talents

Create Comfort

Men with Talents

Have Vision

I don’t know exactly how many talents I have, but you have

kept me in unrest. I have tried my best to mentor, I am delivering

your plan that will create comfort and I have your Vision. What

Now? I am tired. I didn’t sign on for the whole World Peace

thing. You kind of slipped that one in on me. Lord, I am up for the

challenge and any others you may place before me. Give me the

strength to Endeavor to Persevere for the Glory of GOD.

Not to put anyone on the spot, but this is just about the only

traction I got while trying to break through to the higher ups.

Nathan Isbell October 23, 2009 at 2:50pm

We have a mutual friend in Mr. David Walker former U.S.

Comptroller and that is the reason for my contact with you. I

can only assume you keep up with Davids work on the Fiscal

Wake Up Tour. I really do think that I have the solution, but am

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finding it very difficult to reach anyone that can spear head my

efforts. I have spent five very long years working on this project

and would love to get it off my plate. Please read my blog (soon

to be website) www.legacywillandtrust.com and tell me why this

won’t work. If you don’t know, please pass it on. My goal is to

get this in front of Mr. David Walker.

Your New Friend,

Nathan

Legacy Will and Trust

www.legacywillandtrust.com

Smart Facebook Friend October 25, 2009 at 6:59pm

Hi Nathan -- I am not an expert on trusts taxation, but my first

thoughts are:

(a) tax-exempt foundations usually are comfortable spending

4-5% of their principal each year in order to maintain the real

value of their endowments, and they don’t have to pay taxes. So

the potential spend out from your taxable LLC would be lower

still, perhaps 3-4%.

(b) I don’t see a new revenue source for the government since

the assets in the LLC would presumably have been either (i) been

collected as estate taxes or (ii) invested by the heirs, etc.

Good luck,

--Facebook Friend

Nathan Isbell October 25, 2009 at 7:12pm

Hi Facebook Friend,

Thanks for responding to my email. I too am no tax expert,

but merely look at it in layman terms. Of course the charitable

organization will not be taxed, but if the total life benefit is not

taxed when it is transferred into the LLC and then the dividend

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checks are immediately taxed prior to going to the heirs, wouldn’t

that be considered a tax deferment?

Thanks for your help in advance,

Nathan

Facbook Friend October 26, 2009 at 9:22am

Yes, that sounds like a deferral.

Nathan Isbell October 26, 2009 at 9:28am

Excluding taxation, market fluctuation and governmental issues,

what do you think of the concept?

Nathan Isbell October 26, 2009 at 9:32am

Have you gone to my temporary concept website www.legacywillandtrust.

com or are you looking at my blog? My first contact

with you only included a blog, I have since created a temp

site for concept and exposure purposes only. The mechanics of

the site to produce an individual a Legacy Will and Trust are forth

coming.

Facbook Friend October 26, 2009 at 4:37pm

Hi Nathan -- If I understand correctly, you basically want to

allow / encourage folks to leave bequests in the form of longterm

annuities (to both heirs and charities) rather than lump sums.

Does that get it right? Seems like a fine approach if people want

to do that, as long as you can get the transaction costs down.

Sounds a bit like setting up a foundation but giving very specific

directions on where the money should go.

This is an important Facebook Friend.

Current City: Washington, DC

Education and Work

262

Grad School: Massachusetts Institute of Technology ‘94

 Ph.D., Economics

College: Harvard ‘87

 Mathematics

High School: Phillips Academy ‘83

Employer: Georgetown Public Policy Institute

Position: Visiting Professor

Location: Washington, DC

Employer: Council of Economic Advisers, The White House

Position: Member

Time Period: 2007 - 2009

Location: Washington, DC

Employer: Congressional Budget Office

Position: Deputy Director / Acting Director

Time Period: 2005 - 2007

Location: Washington, DC

Employer: United States Congress, Joint Economic Committee

Position: Executive Director and Chief Economist

Time Period: 2002 - 2004

Employer: Charles River Associates International

Position: Principal

Time Period: 1998 - 2000

Location: Washington, DC

Employer: University of Chicago Graduate School of Business

Position: Assistant Professor of Economics

Time Period: 1994 - 1998

Location: Chicago, IL

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Mr. Facebook Friend,

I do so appreciate you responding to my FaceBook email.

You get it. HooRay, Someone with Financial Intelligence gets it.

Mr. Facebook, the American people and the World are begging

for it. It just has to be explained in Joe the Plumber language.

“Seems like a fine approach if people want to do that, as long

as you can get the transaction costs down.”

Mr. Facebook Friend, I so appreciate your professional financial

opinion of God’s Plan. I believe you have hit the nail on the

head. It will work unless people are apathetic or man places to

many fees on man.

Faith, Hope and Charity. These are the key ingredients for

salvaging the World that God have given to us to destroy or love

as He loves us.

October 23, 2009 at 5:08pm

We have a mutual friend in Mr. David Walker former US

Comptroller and that is the reason for my contact with you. I

can only assume you keep up with Davids work on the Fiscal

Wake Up Tour. I really do think that I have the solution, but am

finding it very difficult to reach anyone that can spear head my

efforts. I have spent five very long years working on this project

and would love to get it off my plate. Please read my blog (soon

to be website) www.legacywillandtrust.com and tell me why this

won’t work. If you don’t know, please pass it on. My goal is to

get this in front of Mr. David Walker.

Your New Friend,

Nathan

October 23, 2009 at 5:18pm Report

When I received your “friend” request I hesitated because I

am a Liberal and we don’t seem to have much in common - excepting

David Walker - who I know personally. If you also know

264

him, why have you not sent your request directly to him via FB

or his office at The Peter G. Petersen Foundation here in NYC?

I am preparing for a business trip and cannot review your

website/proposal at this time. However, I suggest you write to

David directly w/your request(s) and/or recommendations. The

Foundation is set up to be participatory and since you are a FB

friend, send him a note.

Be well. r.

Nathan Isbell October 23, 2009 at 5:40pm

I have numerous times to no avail. I will try once again. If

after you read my blog you think it has merit, I would appreciate

any help you can offer.

October 23, 2009 at 5:42pm Report

It will be a couple of weeks. However, if you sent the info to

David a couple of times and he was unresponsive - then I would

respect his rights and not press him. r.

Nathan Isbell October 23, 2009 at 5:47pm

Exactly, I did not want to irritate someone that I believe will

be ultimately instrumental in launching these websites. Thanks

for taking the time to read my blog. My web designer is six weeks

into it, so I am hoping they will be completed soon.

Nathan Isbell October 25, 2009 at 8:34am

Hi Ms Facebook Friend,

Please check out my new videos explaining how www.legacywillandtrust.

com will solve the nations health care woes. I still

haven’t heard from Mr. Walker. I would appreciate any help you

can offer in getting this to him. I would like for him to tell me why

it wouldn’t work, so I can stop exhausting my efforts for it to be

heard. I have a great career and could have easily left this alone

and went on with my life. But God would not let me rest until I

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had done everything in my power to present his gift. Think about

that for a minute. If you really in your heart felt God had given

you a gift to share with all of mankind and you didn’t exhaust all

of your resources regardless of the distractions of life, how would

you feel on judgment day?

Thanks in advance for you help,

Nathan J. Isbell

p.s.

This has been one heavy cross to bear. I have been carrying it

for five years, I could sure use some help or someone to tell me

that it is the wrong cross.

Legacy Will and Trust

www.legacywillandtrust.com

October 25, 2009 at 10:43am Report

Nathan, I cannot give you the time or attention you require -

and, it is inappropriate to use Facebook to press people weekends

no matter what you have to say/offer. That is my advice. We are

not your agents, marketers, etc. And, I did advise you I was planning

to leave on a trip at this time. You have to RESPECT the

time/needs of others before you can get traction for anything - no

matter how good.

Signing off.

Was it a trip concerning Health Care? I tried contacting some

dumb ass from the Heritage Foundation and he didn’t have time

for me either, he was late for a health care reform meeting.

I Endeavor to Persevere. With or without your help.

Have you met with this type of resistance in you life? It sucks.

Remember I tell you the truth, the Crabs of your life will keep

you silent. You must Endeavor to Persevere. Always Respectfully

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Question Authority. Our Forefathers used the phrase “Question

with Boldness”.

Play it close to your vest

Have a back up plan

-Dad

Know you swim with Sharks

Expect to be Bitten

Learn from Mistakes

Pursue your DREAMS

-Nathan

Stoney, I Am counting on you. Get your prize by making your

brother’s load lighter

Lord, I Am not my brother’s keeper.

That is Correct

You are

His Beacon

His Direction

His Motivator

His Decimation

His facilitator

His Judge

He is still

Thy Brother

Thyself is

Thy Brother

Love Thy Brother

as Thy Love

Thyself

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Okay, now let me get this straight.

Oh shit, are your leaning again?

Well, a little, but don’t change the point here. You put this

worthless piece of shit on my plate to care for. He should read

some books and re-invent himself as I did.

You are His Beacon

He should be coming to you just as I did. Lord, mans world

broke me down to the point all I could see is Faith.

You are His Direction

I can’t even get his sorry ass out of bed and when I do, I have

to take care of him all day. It sucks, I have things to do myself.

You are His Motivation

I’ve seen him work, it sucks and he has compromised my

position with my friends trying to help him.

You are His Decimation

After I had gone through all of my contacts trying to help him,

I had to loan him some money just to eat.

You are His Facilitator

I just can not allow myself to get wrapped up with him again.

It’s a nightmare every time. He just didn’t make it.

You are His Judge

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How are we directing our breathen? I don’t even feel like

answering that question. You do it God.

Each Man is born of Talents

Each Man makes decisions of Free Will

Each Man is given a Path

Yes, that is correct my Father. But sometimes the very men

you speak of are corrupted by the easy path and will not elect to

have the desire for a better life over an easy life that there brother

has provided.

I ask of you Nathan. What should their punishment be?

You want to place yourself as Judge and Jury, so I ask you

now with the Wisdom of Solomon. What should be done? Answer

carefully

It is not my place Lord. I must contend with being a provider

to the less fortunate. I can only try and stimulate their desire for

a better life. But I don’t have to make it comfortable for them.

Good Answer my loving, faithful, humble servant. Your

Humility will bring you far in the Kingdom of Heaven and

your brother will be with you, you will inspire Him

I remember during my pledge inauguration to Chi Phi. We

were broken down with sleep deprivation and mental mind screws.

My brothers will remember that it was I that said “Enough”. If we

unite, we have control. The authority backed down immediately

and complied with our wishes. You must challenge the authority,

I promise you they will back down. If they do not, know that you

have the God of the Israelites on your side and devour corruption

for your own salvation and the salvation of your children.

Am I defying you Lord now by being hammered on Vodka?

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Nathan,

I have chosen you because you are everyone.

Strip away the Clothing

Strip away the Verbiage

Strip away the Flesh

You are I and I AM YOU

Lord, this is to much to ask of your humble servant. How will

I gain credibility?

Once again you question the reach of your Lord. I warn

you Nathan, don’t do it again

My humble apologies my Savior. I will assume my role in

your plan. Regardless of the naysayers.

What is my role in your Plan? Have I not delivered your Seven

Sealed Two-Sided Scroll? Have I not fulfilled all that I was

purposed for?

With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility

Your Purpose for ME

As if I need You

Bury your Vanity

Live with Humility

You are because

I AM you are

Please accept my humble apologies Lord. I am your servant.

Guide me. I will question your motives no longer.

You have laid a bread crumb trail. Expand upon your

thoughts given unto you by ME. There is great wisdom for

those who would listen

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That is my next project Lord, but while I have your ear, I want

to ask you some more questions that I don’t have a clue would

be relevant.

What is important to your world now?

I will make my peace with my Family. I will make my peace

with my enemies. I will make my peace with my community. I

will make my peace with my country. I will make my peace with

my WORLD. And Peace will come to my forefathers, because we

finally got it right and we can all rest in the Kingdom of Heaven.

King David can rest. For the First and Last Acts of King David

are recorded in the Book of Nathan. The lineage of King David

will build God’s Temple with the bricks of Mankind.

Hey, Just a reminder that I am just an ordinary dude. Lots of

problems and sins, just like you. Would you go to the lengths that

I have if you really didn’t feel it on your heart? Dude, I didn’t sign

up for this either.

Imagine traveling across country and arriving at Wally World

to find it closed. - Clark Griswold

I guess I went a little nutty.

You went a lot nutty. - Vacation

Imagine having the key to Heavens Gate and no one will listen.

I am glad I went nutty. I am red hot for Jesus. You lukewarmers

keep writing your checks, we do need your support. I pray one

day you can commit fully and be red hot for Jesus yourselves.

271

It was that connection with Islam, the Qua ran and the Book

of Nathan that pieced it all together for me. My Purpose was for

much more than I bargained for.

This will be the Greatest Sale of the World. I have no proof

of shit. I only have Faith and a difficult to understand, book of

religious parables for a compass. It’s all good Jesus. We are challenging

their Faith. I can dig it. I have a few mustard seeds to sow

of my own.

As I read my own metaphors, I realize that the Bible was written

in a different time of slang. I don’t have the answers for their

metaphors, just as I would not expect them to understand mine.

I can only try as they would. I do know that my Savior preached

love and kindness to your fellow man. That would be a great start.

This is cool, if I have your platform I can say anything that I

want.

Remember, you speak for ME

BE COGNISCENT OF YOUR WORDS

Yes Lord, I will try. That reminds me of the ones that are in

control of our children s minds. Our teachers, a very undervalued

position of POWER. I ask of you truthfully, are you committed to

the well being and desire of the children you mold? Be aware, everything

you say is imprinted in their minds. Choose your words

wisely. Our Future is in your capable hands.

Nathan, You are trying to change the World using my

Words. Did you think it would be easy?

Uh......No

Duh.....No

272

Just Watching Sarah Palin on Fox News. She is opposed to

the health care reform bill but offers no solution. Those of us that

know reform is necessary will push for their own agenda. Right

or wrong, they will push. I pray that the Masters plan will accommodate

everyone. Please Lord, let your Plan be heard. You hired

a lowly salesman. I’m doing the best that I can. Give me a break.

Nathan, I will keep you in unrest. Just as your brother

David and Solomon are in unrest now. You must prevail to

achieve your own rest

Cool, but let’s talk tomorrow. I’m drunk.

Nathan, You have been getting drunk everyday for sometime

now, what do you have to say for yourself?

Lord, I beg of your forgiveness. I am in so much torment from

loss and the thought of redemption being just around the corner

has caused me to want to fast forward my life to that point. These

days go quickly and I don’t remember much. I hope you don’t

mind talking to a drunk. You did hire me by the way.

Sleep it off my Son, we’ll talk tomorrow

Hey, I don’t give a flying fat rats ass what they believe.

Go to bed my Son, tomorrow is another day and we’ll talk

Good Night Father, forgive me for my outrage.

Good Night My Son. Nathan, not even I can save you from

the free will that you put into your body. I grant you health,

it is your free will to destroy it

Got it. Good Night.

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January 29, 2010

Goooooooooooood Morning God.

As I was lying in bed this morning, I was reminded about a

chat that I recently had with one of my Facebook friends. I don’t

exactly remember what her point was, but she referred to herself

as a descendent of slaves. I told her that I was a descendent of

slaves myself. I am a Gibeonite. The Gibeonites were spared by

Joshua through deception and later were discovered and made

slaves to the Levites.

So what I want to know is, what are the Statute of Limitations?

Are there any Levites still around? They owe me big time,

with lots of interest.

I realize my approach is laced with sarcasm. The point that

I’m trying to make is, your forefathers paid a debt so that you may

have a better life and strive for more, not sit around and wonder

how much more you can get from the descendents of the ancestors

that enslaved your ancestors. You are still being enslaved

by not striving for more on your own merit. You are enslaved

to poverty of your own free will. Stop blaming your situation

on someone else and take responsibility for your own free will.

There are still barriers, I pray that they all come down with time.

It is your personal responsibility to Endeavor to Persevere.

Excuses are like ass holes, we all got one – Platoon

The Parable of the Three Rings

Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

An uneasy peace ruled in Jerusalem. Saladin’s victory against

the Crusaders had cost the Muslims dearly, both in the loss of

troops and in the depletion of the royal treasury. Saladin was resolved

to rule with civilized humanity as far as possible. But it

274

was an uneasy peace, with Jews, Christians, and the newly victorious

Muslims all suspicious of one another.

Thus when Saladin requested an audience with Nathan, a

leading Jewish merchant, the latter was very apprehensive about

the Sultan’s motivation. Nathan was known far and wide not only

for his successes in commerce, but also for his skills in diplomacy

and negotiation. Jews, Christians, and Muslims alike called him

Nathan the Wise.

Nathan’s suspicions were well founded, for Saladin was indeed

looking to replenish his exhausted coffers with a loan or a

gift from his wealthy Jewish subject. Too civil to openly demand

such a tribute from the peace-loving Nathan, the Sultan instead

masked his request in the form of a theological question.

“Your reputation for wisdom is great,” said the Sultan. “You

must have studied the great religions. Tell me, which is the best,

Judaism, Islam, or Christianity?”

“Sultan, I am a Jew,” replied Nathan.

“And I a Muslim,” interrupted Saladin, “and between us

stands the Christian. But the three faiths contradict one another.

They cannot all be true. Tell me the results of your own wise deliberations.

Which religion is best?”

Nathan recognized the trap at once. Any answer except “Islam”

would offend Saladin the Muslim, whereas any answer except

“Judaism” would place his own integrity under question.

Thus, instead of giving a direct answer, Nathan responded by

relating a parable to Saladin:

In the Orient in ancient times there lived a man who possessed

a ring of inestimable worth. Its stone was an opal that

emitted a hundred colors, but its real value lay in its ability to

275

make its wearer beloved of God and man. The ring passed from

father to most favored son for many generations, until finally its

owner was a father with three sons, all equally deserving. Unable

to decide which of the three sons was most worthy, the father

commissioned a master artisan to make two exact copies of the

ring, then gave each son a ring, and each son believed that he

alone had inherited the original and true ring.

But instead of harmony, the father’s plan brought only discord

to his heirs. Shortly after the father died, each of the sons claimed

to be the sole ruler of the father’s house, each basing his claim to

authority on the ring given to him by the father. The discord grew

even stronger and more hateful when a close examination of the

rings failed to disclose any differences.

“But wait,” interrupted Saladin, “surely you do not mean to

tell me that there are no differences between Islam, Judaism, and

Christianity!”

“You are right, Sultan,” replied Nathan. “Their teachings and

practices differ in ways that can be seen by all. However, in each

case, the teachings and practices are based on beliefs and faith,

beliefs and faith that at their roots are the same. Which of us can

prove that our beliefs and our faith are more reliable than those

of others?”

“I understand,” said Saladin. “Now continue with your tale.”

“The story is nearly at its end,” replied Nathan.

The dispute among the brothers grew until their case was

finally brought before a judge. After hearing the history of the

original ring and its miraculous powers, the judge pronounced

his conclusion: “The authentic ring,” he said, “had the power to

make its owner beloved of God and man, but each of your rings

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has brought only hatred and strife. None of you is loved by others;

each loves only himself. Therefore I must conclude that none

of you has the original ring. Your father must have lost it, then

attempted to hide his loss by having three counterfeit rings made,

and these are the rings that cause you so much grief.”

The judge continued: “Or it may be that your father, weary

of the tyranny of a single ring, made duplicates, which he gave

to you. Let each of you demonstrate his belief in the power of his

ring by conducting his life in such a manner that he fully merits

-- as anciently promised -- the love of God and man.

“Marvelous! Marvelous!” exclaimed Saladin. “Your tale has

set my mind at rest. You may go.”

“Sultan, was there nothing else you wished from me?” asked

Nathan.

“No. Nothing.”

“Then may I take the liberty to make a request of you. My

trade of late has brought me unexpected wealth, and in these uncertain

times I need a secure repository. Would you be willing to

accept my recent earnings as loan or deposit?”

The Sultan gladly acceded to Nathan’s wish.

And thus Saladin gained from his wise Jewish subject both

material and spiritual benefit, and Nathan the Wise found a safe

haven for his wealth and earned the respect of the Islamic Sultan.

 Source: Abstracted from Gotthold Ephraim Lessing, Nathan

der Weise, a drama in five acts (1779). Events leading

up to Nathan’s telling of the parable are depicted in

277

act 3, scenes 4-7. The parable itself is contained in act 3,

scene 7.

You have heard from the Jews and the Muslims. They have a

ring, I have only my Faith. I AM Christian. - The Prophet Nathan

I AM proud of you my son. You have taken your place

finally. I will guide your thoughts as I have and you will put

my words on all hearts that would listen

Take your place Stoney. Make our world a better place and

claim your prize. Your Fathers Praise.

Good afternoon Lord. I realize there is no way I can give all

of my thoughts to your people. It is a never ending waterfall.

Nathan, why have you not considered this your job? I

have satisfied your financial requirements, yet you creatively

avoid Me. You now know My vision. Why are you hesitant?

Lord, you have placed a tremendous amount of responsibility

on my heart. Yes, you have shown me how to deliver your message.

But I do not know if I can. Who am I?

ME DAMN IT, Nathan get your act together. Take your

place. I have a lot invested in you

Why do you continually come to me in a drunken state?

We have talked all day, yet you have written nothing

down. What do you have to say for yourself?

I’m scared Lord. I’m scared for using your words. I’m scared

that you have not given me any visual or audio signs. I am not

sure I am on the right mission. But I am sure I am on the right

mission.

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Nathan, all I have asked of you is to write your thoughts

down. You cannot change the world that you live in. It is the

free will of your peers that will change it. I like your idea for

the back cover of this book. Please recite it for ME once again

God, please grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I

cannot change,

The COURAGE to change the things I can

And the WISDOM to know the difference.

 Your Humble Servant and Brother In Christ

ALL MEN

Nathan, tell your Brethren why you chose that prayer for

your own thoughts. This book is about the Acts of Nathan the

Prophet after all. TELL ME

Lord, because I am a broken man. I am heart broken, lonely,

addicted and yearning for the truth to be told.

Next time, tell me what you really think. LOL

Tell the Truth as you have observed it

Don’t be shy

Don’t be embarrassed

Don’t be intimidated

Remember, I have your back

Who can be against you

I don’t like it when you call me out on my problems. I know

who I am and you know who I am.

STOP!!!

I know who everyone is

279

I know their every thought

I know that they worship 666

I know that they worship ME

The question is...

What do you see? How do you conduct your everyday lives?

Do you cleanse your soul by going to Church on Sunday and

making sure everyone notices your presence? What do you do

on Monday through Saturday? I am not your judge. You are

your own judge. Just remember, when you meet Jesus, drop the

bullshit. And Pray that you have dropped to your knees in private

long before that time comes to pass.

We are going to get around to those dirty subjects My Lord. I

am just finding some creative avoidance myself. Are you insisting

at this point?

Why a fig leaf?

Why clothing?

Why embarrassment?

Forgive me Lord, my drunkenness has caused me to forget

what you have told me.

I have had so many vodka moments. You are telling me so

much and I am not a faithful servant. You have put your faith in

me and I have put my faith in you, but I am inept. I am flawed.

Please make me the witness that you so desire. I am so screwed up.

Nathan, it is not possible for you to encapsulate the entirety

of my message. You will need the infrastructure of a team.

Your team will show another side of you. Let those without

sin, cast the first stone

280

Yes Lord, but I do apologize for my shortcomings for you.

The thoughts that you are putting on my heart are for the betterment

of mankind.

I am completely blank Lord. I have failed you once again.

How can I possibly show your people your vision of world

peace? It has been a fantasy dream of our society for as long as

our generation has been alive. Every hot chick that has ever posed

in a bathing suit has always opted for world peace. A very novel

request, but one that has not been achievable until now.

Lord, I know I am getting ahead of myself. But I am in that

frame of mind to interview you. I am struggling with the concept

of me being your messenger. You have shown me over and over

again, that I am speaking for you. I am still questioning myself.

But if I am speaking for you, I want to make the most impact that

I can for your glory.

Talk to me. I beg of you to talk to me. I have prayed and

prayed and prayed. Please allow your humble servant Nathan to

deliver your message without bias.

Nathan, you are my humble servant. I am speaking

through you. My people will heed your words because they

are the truth. The truth is in everyone’s heart, their minds

will explore the consequences

Lord, you have not given me a staff or anything that would

exemplify I am telling the truth. They will need more proof.

Proof, proof. How much more proof do they need? You

have shown them the Father’s plan. They all see how it can

work. When you bring your God into your life, All is Good.

Love me, as I Love You

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You know Lord, I have not even gone through the second

manic episode, but I must talk to you now.

I need your guidance. I am lost.

Follow the breadcrumbs of your past. Many will have

been eaten by the birds and the corrupt. Follow your heart,

your mind will fill in the blanks. I AM with you

January 30, 2010

The Buddhist say we create our own heaven and hell here on

earth. This is very insightful, because the whole earth is the land

of milk and honey. Of free will we can choose 666 or God. If God

is eliminated, we are responsible for our own demise. These wars

won’t stop until the earth is no more. However, God’s option is to

choose love for your global brothers and sisters in Christ. World

Peace.

Many cultures have artifacts portraying men with large penises.

We giggle with embarrassment and miss the message being

conveyed. The message from our ancestors is that this head does

the thinking and directs our decisions. This head destroys lives.

Without restraint, this head destroys you. Our ancestors wanted

to make no mistake in conveying this message, hence the size of

the organ. We missed it with the shame. Further discussion later.

This is a big topic. Pardon the pun. LOL

As you are diagnosing my disorder/gift. I procrastinate to do,

then when done, I procrastinate to follow through. If I ever do, I

have already moved on to another thought.

Please understand, the most creative minds will provide

the most comfort. But their thoughts go unfulfilled. We need a

thought board, so everyone can participate in the process. Maybe

282

other creative minds are good at following through. What a winning

combination that would be. Will you marry me? LOL

Watch the “Thought Board”. Many people will become rich,

it may be you. Do not be afraid to post your thoughts. You won’t

do anything with them anyway at this point. But you may gain

new inspiration to follow through. All any of us need is encouragement.

A BROTHER

DOES NOT

SCREW

A BROTHER

I

FEED

OFF YOU

YOU

FEED

OFF ME

YOU

INSPIRE ME

YOU

COMPLETE ME

I LOVE YOU

MY BROTHER

IN

CHRIST

Forrest

Yeah, Bubba?

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You just lean against me and I’ll lean right back against you.

This way we don’t have to sleep with our heads in the mud. - Forrest

Gump

So many times I have procrastinated in picking up this project.

My God gave me signs of encouragement. So I endeavored

to persevere. You will see signs. You will see signs. You will see

signs. Which signs are you looking for? 666 or God. Why is the

bad stuff easier to believe? Is it the path of least resistance? Is it

harder to be good?

When we Weave a Web

We become Trapped in What

We have Created

Look at the life you have created for yourself. Is this what you

envisioned that you would grow up to be? How can you aspire

to change it? If you do not aspire to change it, be content with it.

I wanted to be a magician.

What are you now?

I run a syndicated porn operation.

Well, I guess you’re amusing people in a way. - Mr. Deeds

Please understand my disorder/gift keeps me in constant unrest.

My first book has not even launched and I cannot contain

my excitement for our Lord and Savior, so I am writing a second

book. I thought my purpose was to salvage my country and then I

was led to salvaging my world with world peace. I cannot imagine

what my third book will be about. LOL Moses, King David,

King Solomon, Jesus, Muhammad and I, will stay in unrest until

God has his kingdom here on earth as it is in heaven.

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How am I doing John? Who are the 24 elders? No, do not

even think about putting that on my plate. I’ll find out when I

get there. And I’ll find out who’s leg I have to hump to get a dry

martini. LOL

This is Darryl and my other brother Darryl. - Newhart

I can’t wait to meet my other brother Nathan the prophet. I

am convinced he was King David’s son, who else would have the

balls to scold a King unless he was your dad.

You know he would never kill his son. Or would he? Be careful

to not overplay that right. They are your mother and father and

warrant your respect always.

Unfortunately, you do have to respectfully question their authority

when you are in the process of building your core sense

of values. Always refer to the Father for advice in this arena. And

keep your damn mouth shut, so you do not offend the ones that

gave you birth. They deserve your respect and Love. Just understand

that their frame of reference may be limited and they are

not the mentors that you are looking for to fulfill your purpose for

God. Love them and honor them, but understand there is but one

Father, theirs and yours. Abide by His rules.

Umpa Umpa Dumpa Di Doo. I have a riddle waiting for you.

If you will listen you will go far. - Willy Wonka

WOW WOWSIE WOW WOW WOW!!!

Can we really achieve WORLD PEACE?

It is a very clear vision now.

It is my God’s vision.

It is the fulfillment of Moses’s vision.

Do you really think these cats knew about Wall Street?

If they did, how could they explain it?

285

BIRTHRIGHTS

DESCENDENTS

LINEAGE

NUMBERS

12000 X 12000

144,000

I can just not emphasize this enough. Can you just imagine if

the “We are the World” fund raiser had been invested? Can you

just imagine the starving children of Africa receiving their daily

bread and we don’t have to reach into our own personal budget.

Their fund is creating jobs for us all.

Can you feel it?

Exercise the Demon

Repent and Thou Shalt Be Saved

- Pet Detective

I do love being right. LOL

I just did an intensive study on Islam. Well maybe not that

intense, I’m lazy after all. I watched You Tube Okay. I wrote all

their research down and I am procrastinating to type it in this

book. I promise, it’ll be in here. Some very cool stuff that ties us

all together under ONE GOD and ONE GOD ONLY. This is why

my vision is so clear. But I feel like playing some more. For now.

Lord, give me some more clips to tell them about.

Go to your Second Manic Episode

Your no fun. I am still procrastinating.

Let me tell you about Creative Avoidance. LOL My dad has

been in the market to buy a car for over two years. Why do we

pick the fly shit out of the pepper?

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Because some do come from a frame of reference to play it so

close to the vest, that it infringes upon their ability to take a risk.

Unfortunately, I see this generation moving into just that type of

arena. Recession, Depression, what does that really mean? The

hole we fall into may be inescapable.

You can’t bench press your way out of this one. - Jingle all

the Way

And we can’t borrow or create money any longer.

Remember when the Prince from some Bogus country was

courting Ellie Mae Clampett? He had piles of his country’s currency,

but it was used as the napkins at the Clampett’s feast. “The

thing about Possum is, it’s just as good the next day.” LOL

Waste not, Want not.

I thought every child was taught this. I was wrong. When you

move into the Depression era, you will learn this lesson the hard

way. Have you ever heard of leftovers and have you ever cooked

up a crockpot full of beans and fed everyone three meals from it.

You better wise up. I always used to hear the starving children in

Africa story. Then I would say, here, send them this. This is what

I refused to eat. You know what, they would gladly take it and

be so humble and gracious. It will be all they have for the week.

I have been meaning to tell you about the movie War Games.

I may have already mentioned it, but this is what happens to me

when I drink. I will repeat myself over and over and over again.

LOL now where was I. Oh yeah, the machine was built to discover

there was no winner in nuclear war. WOPR

Do you remember in the karate kid, when they were discussing

Pearl Harbor. Daniel talked about the American loss and Mr.

Miagi reminded him of the Japanese loss. Then he says “ WHY

WE SO STUPID”.

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Are we really that stupid?

No, but sometimes you have to fight when your The Man.

I’ll ask the perceived “Axis of Evil”.

What is it that we are doing, that would cause you to provoke

us to the point you give us no choice but total annihilation from

God? I AM Christian and accept my brother the Jew to be Gods

Chosen people. I do not begrudge my Brother, I love my Brother

as I love you my Muslim Brothers. Just as Joseph forgave his

brothers for their unrighteousness. We need to forgive each other

and live in Peace and Harmony in this Great World our God has

given unto us.

If our leaders continue to use God as their divisive instrument,

it is for power, money, greed and CORRUPTION!!!

Ask any Dad who has lost a son. Ask any Mom who has

watched their child starve to death.

The Government is to keep us safe. Period. The rest is up to

us to control. We The People.

God will have His Government over Man or Man will destroy

themselves. It is free will. It is the antichrist we presently chase.

I want more.

I wrote the book on wanting more. The question is, how much

more?

I want the fairy tale.

Tell me Kit, who does it ever happen for?

288

What, you want a name? How about Cinderfreakinrella. -

Pretty Woman

A single shoe

can change

a Life - Cinderella

A single Book

can change the

World – The Holy Bible

You know Lord, I am having a hard time with this Prophet

gig. Speaking for you is treading on a slippery slope.

Dammit Son,

If not You

WHO?

You are Ophiuchus

Be Strong like the

LION

Cool, I just like to keep my defense shields up from those that

would throw rocks.

Stay Invisible My Son

Your Vanity is not of your

Control

Simple request folks. My vanity abounds and I would love to

be a visual spokesperson for our God, but it is not about me, it is

about Him. So I can not.

Do not Worship me, for I am merely a Man. - Pet Detective

Do not pursue this Man

He has done what I have asked

289

What have you done for Me

Lately?

GOD

ALLAH

YAHWEH

So sayeth, the twenty four Elders

Hey, I’m still looking for that drink and where is the can?

VANITY – The Devil’s Advocate

Look at that nut that got his family to lie about a child being

in a runaway balloon.

How did that work out for you?

As I told you I believe I am a descendent of slaves. A descendent

of the Gibeonites. I don’t really know, but it makes for

a good story line. Do you remember that movie that the butler

listened to his employer and made wise investments himself. No

one knew. Not even his daughter, who was impressed with materialism.

Being a servant to the Levites was not a bad gig. They were

in the Know. They were fed, watered, sheltered, cared for, but did

lack freedom. But gained companionship.

Treat your employees as you yourself would want to be treated.

They have lives just as you.

Compensation is Warranted

When the Warranted Is Due

The Warranted Is

Not Entitled

J. O. B.

290

Get one and be wise and patient. Strive for more on your own

efforts. If IT is to be, IT is up to me.

If your not first, your last. I lived my life by those words.

I must have been high, drunk or both when I said it.

Talladega Nights

Not everyone is first, we are all part of God’s Team. So Let’s

“SHAKE -N- BAKE”.

Be Mindful of Words

Impressionable Minds

Live by Your Words

Not everyone is first and we all don’t get a trophy. I will try

harder next time. I want a trophy.

How did you get a trophy for that piece of shit you built?

Oh, I just got one for showing up.

Really, no wonder. Congratulations, your project exemplifies

your motivation.

Duh, thanks. Didn’t you get one, they are over there on the

table.

No my Brother. I don’t want one of those. I want what I earn.

It makes me feel better about me and motivates me for more.

I think I’ll continue to strive for more just because I feel better

about it and I know my God wants me to have an abundant life

that I create for myself.

SECOND MANIC EPISODE

“THE CRAZY STUFF”

REVISITED

292

I felt the need to explain myself. When I was in a full

blown manic state, a waterfall of thoughts were coming over

me. The only way that I could encapsulate the essence of the

message was to sample from my subconscious and bring to

the forefront of my brain something that will help trigger the

thoughts. These are my breadcrumbs so that I can revisit and

tell you my thoughts.

*will denote new additions.

I AM

I AM contacting you now.

Is Help really on the way?

Check out the front page of USA Today October 9, 2007

*This article was my first exposure to the Fiscal Wake Up

Tour Challenge.

I have the remedy.

I am ready.

666 – important dates?

Riddles:

27 coins

What happened to the other dollar?

Two men Two doors

Larry’s son

*I believe I have told you about all of these except the 27

coin riddle.

Riddle 27 Coins:

You have 27 identical coins, except there is one that is

slightly heavier than the other 26. You have balancing scales

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to work with. You are allowed to use the scales three times

and three times only. How can you be 100% sure that you can

identify the heavier coin?

I recently ran into my old Physics teacher from High

School. I told him that this riddle had stuck with me, he

couldn’t remember it. One more reason for teachers and

mentors to pay close attention to what you tell your kids.

Anyway, do you give up?

Take three stacks of nine. Put one stack on each side of

the scales and one not included on the scales. If they are balanced

then the stack not on the scales has the heavier coin.

Obviously, if one side is heavier on the scale, take that stack.

Proceed with the same process two more times. 3 – 3 – 3, then

1 – 1 – 1. I’m not real sure why that stuck with me.

I am gay – Kevin Kline

*Just watched this movie where the school teacher was

coming out of the closet and the ones of authority were trying

to suppress him. The town loved him and accepted him

for who and what he is. Just as the Father accepts all of His

Children.

If I could just get some bottom land – Sgt. York

I figured those guns were killing hundreds, maybe thousands,

so I had to stop them guns.

After Sgt. York got what he wanted, I heard he returned back

to the bottle.

You sure learned a lot up in those hills Alvin.

*Sgt. York was trying to impress his girl with materialism

and all she really wanted was him. I guess we have been

294

trained that for sometime and everyone suffers the consequences

of be driven for more and more and more.

Sgt. York found Christ and truly wanted to follow scriptures.

He had to do a lot of soul searching to go agin the bible by killing

men. He found his peace when he realized that to keep the

peace, some men would die. But peace would save many more

than would be lost.

The demon in the bottle can get the best of us. Be Careful.

What is your bottle?

It must be nice to always think you’re the smartest one in the

room – Broadcast News

*This is a simple case of old lady/young lady. Be careful

you do not become so smart that another alternative becomes

blind to you. Your opinion is based on your frame of reference.

Have you really seen, heard and or experienced everything?

Take the salve from thy eyes. Your brother is pretty

smart too.

If you could express yourself right now, I know that you

would do a better job than I – Hook

*Peter was addressing a group of grown orphans that

Granny Wendy had taken in and cared for. He was saying

that words are just not enough for the Love and Appreciation

due to her. If we give Love, we get Love in return.

Simba, you are more than you have become – Lion King

*I hope this one is self explanatory. Inspire for more out

of life. It is what you make of it.

Young lady / Old lady – Shallow Hal

295

*This pictures illustrates our frame of reference. We draw

from our subconscious and make our decision. Be open minded,

there are always alternatives. Who will you serve?

Fire, Fire, Look at what I have created – Castaway

*God creates everything. Man utilizes what God has given

us to create comfort or misery. We are an innovative group of

God’s children. Don’t suppress us any longer.

World Peace – Miss Congeniality

*You slipped this one in on me. I accept the challenge.

Wouldn’t it be great to see World Peace in our lifetime. I

am hopeful that it doesn’t take three generations to see this

prophecy fulfilled.

Loaded gun – There’s something about Mary

*Refer to the letter to insane males.

Rape, Pedophile, Institutionalize – Shawshank Redemption

*Can you imagine being trapped in an environment that

you have no control over and someone is continually hurting

you. Then you grow in this environment being your norm and

become terrified to break away from it. The story ultimately

represents the pursuit to endeavor to persevere and claim

your own Redemption.

Republicans and Democrats – Heat Miser and Mr. Freeze

*I love this Christmas story. The two bickering brothers

and getting nothing accomplished. It took Mother Nature to

straighten her boys out and it will take God to straighten us

out.

296

Island of Misfit Toys – Lepers

*Who can’t relate to one of these cats. We’re all screwed

up in some form or fashion. Or are you a liar? I’m a Nathan

in the Box and I will be heard.

I wish I had $1 million – It’s a wonderful life

*If it is to be, it is up to me. Don’t tempt your God and

make it a wonderful life whether you get the million or not.

My people want freedom and I go to see that they have it –

Braveheart

*Are we ready to pull together as One Nation Under God

and receive Healthcare from our Creator?

You make me want to be a better man – As good as it gets

*Lord, you inspire me to be to be a better servant.

You complete me – Jerry Maguire

*You will never be complete until you accept the Lord

Jesus Christ as your personal savior. He is our mouthpiece

to God.

Scooby Doo ending – Wayne’s world

*I sure am praying for a Scooby Doo ending. Look at the

mess we have made for ourselves. God’s Plan will work.

Fake charities – The Jerk

*There is always someone pandering for gifts. If you can

create it, market it and sell it, by all means we want to hear

297

your idea. Don’t by pass the people and go to Caesar with

kick backs and back room deals for them to buy into your

own wealth building agenda with our money.

Ability to smell an ambush – Braveheart

*We must become aware of our surroundings and frame

of reference. There are people serving man 666 and their attacks

can screw up your little world. Be mindful and ready,

not paranoia. This is no different than being a cautious driver

anticipating their fellow drivers moves. Have forgiveness

in your heart, not forgetfulness. Learn from your mistakes,

start with the first one, you will repeat it time and time again

until you do. Lovingly counsel those you see that are lost, in

PRIVATE. DON’T INSIST they hear you. Plant your seed

and see on which path it will land. It is always of our own free

will. I ask you for the truth, are you the one that is 666 to your

brother? Here, need a mirror?

Run for it Marty – Back to the Future

*What is it Doc?

It’s the Libyans, I stole their plutonium and sold them a

canister of used pin ball parts.

Whether we realize it our not, we have been trained to

fear our Global Brothers. Guess what, they are getting the

same brain washing. If we do not overcome this prejudice, it

is going to land us in a War that has the potential to destroy

this beautiful planet our Creator has given unto us. Be fruitful

and multiply. I just can’t remember the part about being

divisive and destroying one another. Our One God has a different

plan. It starts with the first step to a 1000 yr journey

of a Satan free world. God’s Government, God’s Treasury,

God’s Kingdom here on earth as it is in Heaven. God’s Tem298

ple will be built with the bricks of Mankind. I pray that you

live in Freedom and can be a part of it. Your God wants you

to have Freedom. Believe me, there is no kitchen table in the

World that’s wants Nuclear War, but some World Leaders

are pushing to the point of NO CHOICE. Stop Them and

Free yourselves.

Opinions are like assholes, we all got one – Platoon

Two camps – Hate and Love

*And the opinion of the arrogant, vocally robust continue

to rule over God’s people. You will abide by their opinion or

you will be shot. Do you really think that is how our Creator

wanted it? If you are in the Hate Camp, I beg of you to give

the Love Camp a try. If we don’t start loving one another, we

will destroy one another. I am asking each and everyone of

you, what can you do to help create World Peace?

Turkish prison – Pain, Guilt, Customs, Cultures, Homecoming

– Midnight Express

*Pain – The punishment that he endured in prison.

*Guilt – What had he done to his Loving Father?

*Customs – Unfamiliar with customs that caused more

pain.

*Cultures – Everyone has a different frame of reference

based on what they have seen, heard and experienced.

*Homecoming – Any Father welcomes home their Son.

Just as our Father will welcome us regardless of what we have

done. Just be careful with those unforgivable sins. I just don’t

think there is a get out of Hell free card on those. If you don’t

know which ones they are, Pray. You will know.

Golden goose – Jack and the Beanstalk

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*This is probably the best lesson in patience and greed.

If you had a Goose that laid you golden eggs everyday and

would lay golden eggs for your heirs for an eternity, would

you kill it to get the eggs inside?

*If you had an heirloom that produced you a passive income

check and a passive income for your heirs for an eternity,

would you cash it in?

Fame – Failure - Rebirth and Wiser – Rock Star

*How is it that you can strive for so much out of your life,

but when you get it, you don’t know how to handle it? Don’t

be a rags to riches to rags story. Educate yourself while striving

to achieve your dreams. Once you achieve your dreams is

when your true character will emerge. I ask you to reflect on

the role models of your life that you believe that God would

approve of. Now, emulate them and strive to emulate Jesus

Christ our Lord and Savior. Your shortcomings will be forgiven

with a simple truthful request. Forgive me Father for I

have sinned...........

Thank you for your Grace Lord.

Amen

Wizard of Oz – TD Jakes

*KNOWLEDGE – COMPASSION – COURAGE

HOMECOMING

Will we ever get educated and see the World for what it is.

A Gift from our Creator?

Will we ever gain Love for our Global brothers and prevent

famine, disease and suppression?

Will we ever gain the Courage to do something about it?

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Will we get to see our Savior do his biggest miracle yet and

achieve World Peace in our life time? That’s a Homecoming

that I can only articulate, but would love to experience. How

about you?

Will work for food

*We have all seen these signs. I heard a sermon where the

preacher made a comment about it not breaking the family

budget to give them a few bucks. You just never know when

you might be saving someones life. Jesus says, when you give

to them, you are giving to me. A few words of encouragement

and prayer will suffice. As much as you would love to do more,

you must remember they are Lepers as we all are and they

may cause harm to your family if you embrace them to much.

666 # of a man?

*I am still working on this riddle at this time. It was a

tough one.

Get your credit score up to 666 and you have a right of passage

as a man

Rituals – Roots

*I don’t think this is the 666 solution, but while we are

here let’s talk about credit. If you intend to borrow, you must

intend to pay it back with interest. Be very careful with credit.

Materialism could easily become the God that you serve.

Been there and done that. It is a miserable World believe me.

You have to get on that treadmill of life because you have no

choice.

I owe, I owe, so it’s off to work I go. This is a noble work

ethic, but be careful not to allow your materialistic dreams to

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destroy your contentment dreams. You will save yourself a lot

of sleepless nights.

Can I get an big Amen on that one. Whewww.... what a

nightmare.

Betrayal – Patrick and Terry

*I have forgiveness truly in my Heart, for I know the only

way I can receive forgiveness of my transgressions is to forgive

my transgressors. That doesn’t mean I have to forget.

Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me twice, shame on me.

Hit me three times, I am coming after you.

The Two Headed Beast is what holds us captive, it can be slayed.

This is the struggle that every Man contends with. - Restraint

*Refer to the Letter to the Insane Males

The market needs more money for continuity. God’s Legacy

Trust LLC will create a new foundation.

Question for you. How many generations will it take for

God’s Plan to create a foundation in our economy? A propagating

income stream is just that, it’s builds upon itself. It would be nice

to know that I am investing into something that has a foundation

created by God’s people that can never be touched. It will seal an

eternal marketplace.

Real-life knowledge – Back-to-School Rodney Dangerfield

*Didn’t you just love that part where the professor was

trying to teach about business when he didn’t have a clue of

the real world. I remember attending a Sunday school lesson

and the teacher begins to tell us that he is not an alcoholic or

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addict or any of these other problems. I just thought, well you

need to sit your monkey ass down and let’s hear from someone

that has experienced Leprosy and by the Grace of God

and their own free will, freed themselves of it. I don’t need

you to damn me. I need you to inspire Me.

Lower-priced tuna, That’s American man. Schooner tuna, the

tuna with a heart. – Mr. Mom

*It always amazes me, when the chips are down we all pull

together for the betterment of our neighbors and ourselves. I

believe the chips are down my brothers and sisters in Christ.

But this time it is Global.

Lord, please help your humble servant to inspire his

Global brother. Until we reach out Globally, we will never see

what are Creator had intended for us. The land of milk and

honey. The whole planet, it is what we make of it.

If our World was a football team, would you say we’re having

a winning season? – Heaven Can Wait

*Let me see, we have wars and rumors of war. We still

have hunger, disease and suppression. We have dissension

and corruption amongst ourselves and our Global brothers.

I’d have to say, just a personal opinion mind you, that 666

has a major league lead. But I know our God is the comeback

Kid. When there is Faith and Hope, Our GOD is unstoppable.

Now get out there and win one for the One God, he is everlasting.

We all are his children. Heat misers and Mr. Freezes

alike. Muslims, Jews, …........................ and Christians alike.

We don’t care what the other teams are doing, we want to

do the right thing. If the porpoises are getting caught in the nets,

we’ll charge an extra penny per can to save them. We’ll be on the

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porpoise team. We’ll advertise “Would you pay an extra penny to

save the fish that thinks?”

I want it now daddy – Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Impatient – No Discipline – No Guidance – Uneducated -

Greed

Hold up signs during clips like Wayne’s world, cool

*I was just being silly here. You must become as a child to

connect with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I was rushed through my mortgage closing – Ignorance

*Every decision you make will serve Man 666 or God.

Think before you react. The consequences could cause you

great harm or joy, be careful with your decisions. They could

last a lifetime. For those of you that don’t realize it, that’s a

really long time. Maybe even eternal.

Do you know how easy this is for me? – Good Will Hunting

*Pulling from my frame of reference that was built from

what I have seen, heard, read and experienced is easy. Putting

it all on paper is the hard part. The truth can always be

found in our past. But generation after generation we think

we know more than our parents. We need to wake up and

wake up now. If our God doesn’t destroy us first from frustration,

we might end up destroying ourselves of our own free

will. I mean really, how much does our Father have to do? I

asked him that question and ran right into a brick wall with

his answer. Do you remember? What Nathan, do you want

another disaster? Not no, but Hell no.

Why we so Stupid. - Mr. Miagi

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Stay free mini pad joke

*There once was a midget that was on the wrong path of

the Lord. He was put into prison for his transgressions to his

fellow man. While he was there he found the Lord and started

reinventing himself with knowledge. By the time he had

served his time, he was ready to make it in the real world. He

became very successful and when he ran into a fellow midget

inmate, he discovered his pal had not been near as fortunate

and was on the run from the law again.

This inspired the successful midget to build a half way

house to build confidence and hope amongst his midget brethren.

They were educated and could enter the work place

with a completely different attitude. They were there to do

God’s work. Let me tell you brother, your days go by a lot

more pleasant with a Godly attitude. The joke was that he

named his half way house, stay free mini pad. Wah, wah, wah.

Kboom...Ching

Build businesses for the lepers and halfway houses

Hope of going home serving humble pie

Pie – Michael

*Midgets or Lepers, we are all children of God. Give your

leper brother a chance, but keep your antennas up.

He smells like cookies – Michael – vanity

*This is simple. Are you doing what you are doing for the

Glory of God or the Glory of yourself amongst your peers?

What do you do when your real-life exceeds your dreams?

Keep it to yourself – Broadcast News

Corruption brought on by Envy

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*It is so easy to enjoy the success. Be mindful, your brother

could be having a terrible day and be envious of your success.

When it is your good day, ask your brother about his day. If

it is bad, be empathetic and wait til your brother is having a

better day before sharing your own good news. Remind him

of the everlasting good news about our Lord and Savior. God

has a plan for everyone’s life, the pitfalls make us stronger to

witness for our Lord. Inspire your brother, I can not say this

enough. If you don’t inspire, you will carry your brother.

He ‘aint Heavy, He’s my Brother.

Brother you know I was just thinking after my chat with

our God and Creator. He says if I inspire you, I won’t have to

carry you. How can I help my brother to strive for more in his

life? What can I teach you? Brother, I am sorry that my taking

the easy approach and just giving to you has decimated

your desire to want more for your life. Brother, I can no longer

continue to carry you. The load on the mule has reached

it’s breaking point. If I can’t inspire you, we both are going

down. Tell me brother, what motivates you? What are your

dreams? What are your goals? Yours are different than mine,

but I appreciate how they compliment each other.

I was saving up for a Husband – It’s a wonderful life

Generosity – Compassion – Racism

*This is our History. It is, what it is. Let’s learn to accept

it and appreciate the lessons from it. It is time we all joined

together and appreciate what all of our brothers have been

through. It is also time to stop using it as a crutch.

I’ve got a Golden ticket – Legacy Will and Trust – Willy

Wonka

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*Yes I do. But what a struggle to be heard. Not even ole

Slugworth was around. No, if it is to be, it is up to me. Losing

everything for my God was a little extreme and I would have

preferred having a partner on this journey, but this journey

was for me and me alone. I’m Crazy after all. I chose God.

Feed tuna mayonnaise – Night Shift

Creativity – realized failure - QUIT

How much will it cost your family?

Bipolar disorder

How much does it cost us, to not let you create?

*You know, you can’t make chicken salad out of chicken

shit. But someone thought it would make great fertilizer.

Encourage your children to follow their dreams. Be aware,

they may see a different dream than yours. Are you shoving

your dream down their throat. This dream can bite back.

Don’t alienate yourself by running your child’s life. Be a part,

not the focus of their lives. We have to learn from our own

mistakes, learn to plant seeds. I would recommend listening

to Lou Tice’s series of tapes. Very informative when raising

children. You can feed life into your child or death, just any

mentor can.

Would you hire a leper?

Let’s all take our masks off and put on a new one

Mask – Jim Carrey

*We all want to express ourselves in our own unique way.

I only ask of you to look at yourself in the mirror and honestly

ask yourself if you would hire you, to manage the integrity

and money of your own business? I pray it works out for you.

If it doesn’t, refer back to the mirror.

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Funny how when he puts on the Mask, the real person inside

emerges. Is this what intoxicants do? Hows that working out for

you?

*It hasn’t worked out to well for me. Everything I have

ever done really stupid, I was drunk. But you probably have

a lot more control over your addictions than me. I pray we

don’t hurt anyone before we kill ourselves.

Anyone who challenges

You’re going to lose – A League of their Own

*With God on our side, who could be against us? That’s

right, your own frame of reference stored in your subconscious

that makes the decision for you to serve 666 or God.

You could actually be against yourself. I wonder if that qualifies

to be called “Shooting yourself in the Foot”?

Let me just stop you right there, before you say something

you will inevitably regret – You’ve got Mail

*When you say or do things in a rash manner, you will ultimately

second guess yourself and a more thought out decision

could serve more beneficial for all concerned. Think things

through very carefully, then live with the consequences.

That’s the gift that keeps on giving – Christmas Vacation

Legacy Will and Trust

*Yours and God’s Legacy will keep giving to the Earth

and the inhabitants thereof. Your heirs will come to know

the Lord by witnessing His Healing Power. God so wants to

heal His children. His Earthly Entity will do just that with the

bricks of time and mankind. Legacy Will and Trust – “Growing

God Back Into Our World One Generation At A Time”.

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Not everyone thinks like you Patrice.

Oh yes they do, they just don’t admit it. – Coming to America

Narrow Minded – No understanding of Cultural Diversities

*This is a great illustration of how our frame of reference

dictates our behavior. It is so easy for us to think we were all

raised the same and in the same type of environment. This is

what causes us to be so narrow minded. It is hard to see others

views when our own views are the only right approach that

we can see. Before acting on anything important, console your

family and friends. Respect their opinion and make up your

own mind. You will be the one living with the consequences.

We must be getting close, I’m getting a hard on – Top Gun

*What can I say, I’m an insane male. I am a Leper. I have

restraint over the beast.

October 16, 2007

Financial Intelligence Required

Before I except my clinical bipolar diagnosis, take my meds,

suppress my creativity and slip into a lethargic state like the rest

of the kids on Ritalin. I would like someone with financial intelligence

to tell me why this won’t work.

Will someone please answer these questions? Can legacy will

and trust: feed the world - stop drug abuse with quarterly screenings

for non-prescribed medication - keep the stock market from

crashing – Answer my 11-year-old stepson’s birthday wish to

bring prayer back to schools – show the world we want peace

through the teachings of Jesus Christ – not to mention a check

from God’s Legacy Trust for their daily bread – profile everyone

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that wants free services – such as healthcare and food – will this

help to stop terrorism by knowing who is here?

Cut through all of the political spin? Start healing people on

the inside with mental counseling? Why did the 14-year-old kill

himself for God? Did his teachings from home not match society?

Put God back into our hearts? Change foreign perception of the

United States and God. If not the present generation, possibly the

future generations that are receiving Legacy checks from God?

Stop civil liberties unions from pandering to the sensitivities of

other cultures and beliefs, while sacrificing what my forefathers

fought for? Stop global warming? Just kidding or am I. Put your

money where your mouth is. Let everyone know that God loves

us so much he sent his only son to save us. We crucified him and

it set us on the wrong path? Set us on God’s path?

Anonymous Christian/African-American

Set up a global warming trust fund, so I don’t have to pay for

you to chase rabbits.

Don’t you dare ask Caesar for another red cent.

I worked real hard for this Louie – Trading Places

Trust

*We all work hard for our money and expect our Government

to frugally keep us safe and headed in the right direction.

It is past time we start headed towards our past and

once again become One Nation Under God, Indivisible with

Liberty and Justice for All.

Movie – kids get wrapped up in their class instructor while he

was illustrating how easy Hitler had it. Can we rally behind God?

The insignia for God’s Legacy Trust LLC means healing. Red

Cross – Jesus has left, but the blood remains. Gold and Purple

Serpent – Temptations – Sin

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*This instructor conducted his own campaign to see if he

could rally his students into doing things that they wouldn’t

have done had it not been for brainwashing. When you rally

people, you can really get people fired up into going along

with the vocally robust. Be careful you don’t find yourself

rallying behind something you really don’t understand. You

could be supporting something that could actually be harmful

to you. Beware of large overwhelming things. Their intent

was to overwhelm you to keep you from being enlightened to

the real hidden agendas. If it is too difficult to understand, it

is corrupt.

Escape – Indian – One who flew over the cuckoo’s nest

*Do you ever just want to get off the planet and sit on

the sidelines for awhile? Do you remember when Maverick

disengaged from his struggling wingman? He needed time to

assess the situation. I promise you, make time everyday for

our Father. Have a heart to heart in private and you can put

your life back into perspective. Now that you realize 666 is

what you choose to serve and not an outside influence, you

can begin to see a new beginning for your life in Christ.

Let Caesar have what is Caesar’s

15% Federal 5% State

Let God have what belongs to God 10%

*This sounds fair to me across the board. Let the rich keep

more and I promise you, they will create, give, love and nurture

more. I always thought if the movie theaters would keep

their concessions reasonable, we wouldn’t have to smuggle in

our own goodies. I know in my heart, if they were reasonable

they would make more money and provide a better entertainment

environment. Unfortunately this exemplifies our tax

structure here in the United States. People are still smuggling

their candy in and our Government is passing out Joo Joo

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Beans to anyone who didn’t plan well or work for it at our

expense. The rich want to be fair, the corrupt rally the people

for their own self gain. This should be what we strive for. A

flat tax structure. No monkey business. Cut and Dry. Then

budget around it.

I don’t know about you, but when I needed to get my budget

in order I sat down with my bills. Looked at how much

was coming in and how much was going out. We are in an oh

shit moment like we have never seen before. What is the first

thing we do? Cut up credit cards. Move money around to get

the best interest rates. Pay off the smaller balances first, then

move to the larger ones. We do not create anymore debt and

we tighten our belt by making cuts to unnecessary expenditures

and strive to make larger payments to our debt. Debt

free and Financially Free. That is the place to be baby.

So tell me, should any business or Nation for that matter

have a different strategy? I can only speak for myself,

but giving me more credit cards was definitely not the right

direction. I needed someone to ask me, can you live without

the country club for awhile? All the way down to eating beans

and wieners. Let me tell you, when you’re debt free, those are

some damn good beans.

You must understand, we have been trained to consume. If

we stop to consume, our machine breaks down. We need to learn

how to consume, so that what we consume does not consume us

with debt.

I did not want to bore you with numbers again, I was looking

at the $10 million illustration for the starving children in Africa.

It says, if in 1985 $10 million was collected and put into a feed

the world Legacy trust fund yielding 10% annually, the African

2008 Rice budget would be in excess of 1.5 million that costs the

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taxpayer zero dollars. That’s a lot of rice that we didn’t have to

ask for a donation for.

After the $10 million was spent and not invested back in

1985, what is the Rice budget today? How are we going to pay

it so people don’t starve? What better way to stop the war on terrorism,

than by winning their hearts through their stomachs. Win

with love.

How much does the Jerry Lewis telethon fund have in their

account? How much would their Rice budget be? Or will we need

another boring Telethon to feed today’s need.

*I wasn’t ragging on Jerry, he’s a great man for all his

efforts. But I do have to wonder what the balance would be

if all of that money had been put into a Legacy fund. Wow,

what would the disbursements look like today? How many

jobs would be created by the funds being invested into our

economy and the charity surviving on half the profits for an

eternity?

How many examples of how God’s Legacy plan works do

you need? Money may be the root of all evil, but it can solve a lot

of problems. When your money works for all of us, rather than us

working for money. At present, we spend more than we have and

the marketplace has caught up with us. Can we leave our future

generations a bill or a check. The time for change is now. Or we

could just leave it to our dogs. I can only hope they have more

financial intelligence than the current recipients.

When the government pension plans go bankrupt, will that

wake us up? Probably not, that generation will be dead.

*If a pension is unsustainable for civilian businesses,

shouldn’t they be unsustainable for Government. Jump on

in, the water is just fine. We can’t take away what we have

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promised, but we can let it die out. We can’t abandon what we

started in Afghanistan and Iraq either. How can we be trusted

with information if the people are afraid we will pull out. Can

you imagine how they are being threatened. You know the

Americans will leave and when they do, I will torture your

child if I hear of you turning any of us in.

October 30, 2007

To: David Walker

Re: Fiscal Wake Up Tour Challenge

The answer is compounded interest. In lieu of increasing the

inheritance tax, allow taxpayers to use their death benefits to open

an LLC. This LLC will be invested into the US stock exchange.

The monthly yield will be reinvested 50% and 50% disbursed to

the taxpayers heirs. This creates a new found income stream that

can be taxed forever.

Our arrogance makes us think it is trying to communicate

with us – Star Trek IV

Cultural Diversity-- Ego

*It’s all about me. We all conduct our lives by what’s in

it for me. If our mindset would change to what’s in it for my

brother, our World would completely change. Remember,

when you give your brother what he wants, you get what you

want. I know this will be hard. You must have faith in your

brother, but keep your guard up. You don’t know who he is

serving.

Such Decadence – Moscow on the Hudson

*We are a generation of entitled people. We don’t look

upon what we have, but what we do not have. Our brother

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has it, why don’t I? Brother can you spare a dime, now give

me your wallet. Income Tax, Death Tax, Sales Tax, Breathing

Tax...................................... ETC.ETC ETC How does our

Global brother perceive us? What would they give to have

what we have? We are sooooo Entitled.

Happy learned how to putt – Happy Gilmore

Focus – write what I want to say

*Have you ever put together a project that comes with

pieces and instructions? A major pain in the ass the first go

around, then you realize if you had to do it over again it would

only take you a fraction of the time. Your life is a project as it

forms your frame of reference. Everyday new pieces are allowed

to enter at your discretion. You must focus on what you

allow to enter and accept what your brother has not.

Exchange info for a transfer – A Few Good Men

Discrimination for Legacy

*Are you trapped? Jenny didn’t have to live with her father

anymore, she moved in with her grandmother. You must

be discreet. You must find the person that you most trust.

Not necessarily clergy. Been there, done that. When you make

your move, close that door and another will open for you.

Forgive your transgressors so that you do not dwell on it. It

will eat you up on the inside if you do not forgive. You never

have to forget. Our Father is very sorry that He has to allow

man 666 power over man 666. I will pray for you that you are

able to pull yourself out of that trap with the help of our God,

family and friends. God will have His vengeance on your behalf

at Judgment Day. This is the unforgivable sin. Preying

upon the helpless.

Problem first – Discrimination

Solutions second

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*I have come a long way in judging my discrimination

frame of reference. How ignorant I have been. It should never

be by the color of ones skin. It should be by each individual

actions that encompass their essence. Now, judge yourselves.

What do you exemplify to your brother?

Drawing for a month-long cruise, one ticket per person, one

dollar. That is your permanent number, maybe this is the number

you need to get goods and services or this is the antichrist. I don’t

want to be the antichrist.

*All of us are the Anti-Christ when we accept him into

our decision making process. Be quick to listen and slow to

respond. Our decisions are now the history. How does your

history read? Christ like or Anti-Christ like. Pray for forgiveness

and forgive your brother.

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t piss into the

wind. You don’t pull, the mask off the Lone Ranger and you don’t

mess around with HIM – Jim Croce

*If I am to be kept silent by my judges, I can not fulfill

my purpose for God. Seek out your purpose for God. Be very

careful. Is this your purpose for Him or for You? Step out for

our God and you will be judged by your peers and you will

be judged by your God. Who is your real friend when you are

all alone in the World? Who will never leave you when you

are at the lowest point in life? Who will forgive you? Who will

love you for who you are, no, who you really are behind the

mask? Oh, be sane about it. The crazy shit didn’t work out

to well for me. LOL

I don’t know who I am

I don’t know who I am supposed to be

I do know, I am more than I have become. – Lion King

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*This is what I was seeking. Nathan, you are more than

you have become. Who are You? What do you do for the betterment

of your neighbor that creates wages for you to fulfill

your contentment dreams? What is your purpose for God? Is

this too deep for you to think about? Are you too busy fighting

the rat race? If you seek, you will find. The signs will be unbelievable

to your brother, but your brother is not your judge.

He just places himself as judge. When you know who you are,

what you do and your purpose for God, you will achieve an

abundant life. It is our Fathers promise.

I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Without a backup plan and God to talk to, I cringe.

Would prescribed medication erase the line of reality and

cause me to do something I ordinarily wouldn’t do? I think so.

Hold on way a minute, let me put some God in it. Ooh Aah

If this plan doesn’t work, I am as crazy as a run over dog.

Check me in. No prescribed meds please. On second thought, I’ll

have the buffet.

I feel your pain – Million Dollar Baby

Parental Alienation Syndrome

*Who knows you more intimately than God? Ask Him to

relieve you of your pain. It will be your faith that heals you.

Don’t tempt thy God to heal you for your belief in Him. Trust

that our God has given your brother talents to heal you with

the gift of health care that He so desires to facilitate for all.

Anyone willing to give up birthrights for one lump sum. I

want to know what he is going to do with the money. He may

be a prophet.

Special Ed is for Goofy screws – Island of Misfit Toys

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*I am a Misfit Toy. I don’t fit in with my circle now. I hibernated

while searching for my purpose. I was socially inept.

I just wanted to tell everyone what I was going through. They

looked upon me as crazy and weird. I prefer to be referred to

as different. In fact, I like being different. I believe our God

makes us all different and most yearn to be the same. Conformity

is a powerful tool. If I am different because I profess the

Lords love for me is true, what does that say about what we

have conformed to. I believe our God wants all to be different

for Him. He is the goal post, He is the finish line.

The Starving will Sing

Rub a Dub Dub

Thanks for the Grub

Yeah God!!!

*I don’t know why this little humorous prayer stuck with

me from my childhood. It always seem to piss the older people

off for some reason. I guess it would be better if it read the

starving will work for food.

A horny man is a dangerous thing – History Channel

Men can not be trusted to adopt. Heterosexuals have a hard

enough time restraining from perversion. Homosexuals will cross

the line of morality and a child should not be subject to such.

Lesbians can procreate on their own during a one night stand,

but their perverted make up is totally different than a mans and

I believe they make fine nurturing mothers. Neither should be

allowed to adopt.

I ask our Father time to fix problems. Give me the strength to

make them heed.

Do you want Hank? – Me, Myself and Irene

Vulgarity – Two personalities – Good and Evil – Angel and Devil

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*Hank is the character that stands up for himself to the

extreme. He is invincible in his own mind. Years of being meek

will sometimes make you emerge to something you want to be

to address your transgressors. You can let your hatred build

up to such a point that you lose your compass of reality and do

things you wouldn’t ordinarily do. You give your power over

to them, when you allow it to eat you up on the inside. God will

grant you the Serenity to accept the things you can not change.

The Courage to change the things you can and the Wisdom to

know the difference. Just ASK HIM!!! Search your heart for

your answers, He is answering you now. Don’t let your frame

of reference allow you to remain narrow minded.

Exercise the Demon – Pet Detective

I know I am right!!!

*I love that dance he does after he spills out the solution to

the dilemma at hand. Can you see me dancing right now for

our Father. I know I AM right.

Sean Hannity is the Heat Miser

Alan Combs is Mr. Freeze

Bill O’Reilly – I am too much.

Hannity and Combs, I liked the show better with the two opposing

positions. I didn’t agree with either of them all the time,

that is the beauty of debate. Bill and Rush, what can I say. You

are too much and I love you for it. Keep us unbiasedly informed.

All I am saying

Is give peace a chance – Billy Jack

*World Peace. Wow, I never thought that would be my

mission for God. The Holy Spirit was leaving me clues without

me being aware at the time. Jesus told us, “I have so much

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to tell, but you can not handle it all at this time”. We have to

be baby stepped into awareness.

I love the girl that screams out obscenities, so he takes her to

a ballgame – Deuce Bigelow Male Gigolo

She gets your attention, doesn’t she? Does God need to scream

out obscenities to get your attention?

*Say what you want, colorful metaphors in an awkward

setting will grab your attention. This manner of speech fills

space for the ignorant to expand upon their point. God doesn’t

like it and I try to monitor it and will fail from time to time.

I just want to be cognoscente of it so I may attempt to curtail

it. In this book, I am speaking to the masses and I am on their

path of understanding. Just as Jesus witnessed to the sinners

and tax collectors, I witness to the masses because I am one of

them. I’m not witnessing to the perfect people. Who am I to

witness to you, you are sinless and perfect. It is the hypocrites

that are not witnessing for God. Who do you call a hypocrite?

“Before picking the speck from your brothers eye, remove the

log from your own.”

Is it too much to ask for a roof over your head and food to

eat – George Bailey

Anyway my father didn’t think so.

Is it too much to ask for free medical care? – Nathan

We are Hungry

Are we Worthy

Before the Word Thy God

*If you plan to demand the 5 and 2 talent men to pay for

it, YES, IT’S TOO MUCH TO ASK!!! It is not too much to

ask of our Father, who yearns to heal us and dwell among us.

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Thank you for my Mother and Dad.

You did real good Momma—Forrest Gump

He made his peace with God – Lieut. Dan

*Honor thy Mother and Father. Make your peace with

the Father.

It is hard to chill, when the devil blocks my purpose.

All things are possible for those that believe in our God

through Jesus Christ, his only begotten son.

My title is Wonderful Counselor for I serve a Wonderful God!

*Once again, I am wrong. I am not the Wonderful Counselor,

the Wonderful Counselor is the Holy Spirit. I am merely

a humble servant of the Lord. How arrogant of me.

Lord, please do not lead me to temptation. Cleanse my soul.

I’m not worthy – Wayne’s World

*I really struggled with this one. Who am I to think I am

a Prophet. The definition of Prophet is one who speaks from

God. It pays little and yet costs plenty. I was very reluctant to

assume this title. It was when God spoke to my heart and said

“if not you, who?” Then he says to assume my role. Okay, I’ve

said it. Nathan the Prophet. Everyone get your stones ready

to end my blaspheming mouth. I did get my first blasphemy

call out. It is in the facebook section. I guess the next words

for me to listen for is “Crucify Him”.

Self-Esteem – Weird Science

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*If there was a topic that would tempt me to write yet

another book, this would be it. Unfortunately for me, I still

suffer myself.

Bumper stickers:

Are you following Jesus this close?

Normal people frighten me

On Fire for God

That’s the thing about that line, they keep moving that little

sucker – Broadcast News

The Line of Reality – Over prescribed medication

*I have witnessed a rash of meds that are circulating as

recreational drugs. I’ll be the first to tell you, knock yourselves

out. But what concerns me is that I am seeing people

around me that are dying from their experimentation’s to escape

from reality momentarily. I must tell you that I am very

naive in the arena of drugs. Cannabis is my only exposure

until here recently. I know my personality and I know that if

I like it that much, it will kill me. So I choose to refrain. I did

recently try some focus pills while partying. I really didn’t

pick up on anything except I controlled the conversations and

it made my ability to achieve an erection impossible. I didn’t

like them, thank God. If it is not from my Father, I don’t want

it. Recreationally speaking that is. I have witnessed people

doing things that they would have never done had they had

their senses. I am just picking up on this because I was usually

inebriated at the functions that I was attending.

I have learned shorthand with my Aletheia.

I can bring a whole story to you from a small clip of a movie.

I have the ability to draw from movie clips, the answer for most

quandaries and direction of how I want to take my own life. Are

the movies that are being produced today exemplifying the message

that we want our children to lead their lives by?

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I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.

I am Jim – Taxi

Aletheia

*More than I really wanted to admit for most of my life

now. I really have gone through life in a drunken stupor.

When you put your life on display by writing down who you

are, the truth can really hurt. I want to live the rest of my days

happy and sober. I pray that I will not have the pain in my life

that sent me there in the second place. The first place was for

curious recreation. The second place is for depression.

You want me on that wall

You need me on that wall

You want TRUTH

You can’t handle the truth – A Few Good Men

*After you take your own personal examination, you will

have to accept which truth is you. It may sting to reflect on

your life. Where you have been, where you are at and where

you are going. All paths to God are good, but you have to ask

yourself are you on a God path?

My name is Sue Seer.

Excuse me, what is your name?

Her name is Lucille – Volunteers

Dialect – Speaking in Tongues

not Yibbity Yibbity Yah Yah Yah Praise God – Can I get a

A-A-A-AMEN!!!

*I read in the bible that speaking in tongues must be able

to be understood and conveyable to others, otherwise it is gibberish.

Speaking in tongues is dialects and languages. I’ll give

you an example. When we came back from Japan, my dad

had a dream to build a farm on the land he and my mom

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purchased before we left the states. We lived in the sticks and

I can remember trying to get directions from a redneck. He

said you go right past the big “Tire” and it’s right there. Tire,

what the hell are you talking about. After a lengthy communication

battle I was able to interpret his dialect as Tower. Man

speaks in tongues to man. The Holy Spirit has a tongue all His

own. He speaks to your heart if you will listen.

Once Solomon gained all the wisdom. He gained all the greed

and lusts of this world. He made a mistake.

*I can not begin to imagine what God put on Solomon’s

heart that compelled him to build our God a temple. King

David was told that it was not his place, but the place of his

seed. Did Solomon make an assumption that he was the seed

to build God’s House? It is no longer standing. What do you

think? His entity is in the minds, bodies and souls of all of His

children that will help facilitate his Kingdom here on earth.

The bricks of Mankind. It is eternal.

What have you learned Dorothy?-- Wizard of Oz

*Self-reflection. This is the perfect time to have “it” all

about you. Ask our Father for His help in figuring out your

daily dilemmas. Think things through and search your heart.

If you worry, examine the worst case scenario for that particular

situation. If it turns out better, then you are lucky. If

it is the worst, you can now better deal with it. Now decide if

there is anything you can do to alter the situation for a better

outcome. If not, deal with the consequences of your actions

and learn from them. This is a great portion of your life that

you can submit to your frame of reference. The lessons that

sting the most are the ones easiest to remember.

Acts 17:31 I don’t want to pick a date

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1 Thessalonians 1 – 5

Hebrews 10:27 give me the faith that will seal my salvation,

Lord

please Lord

Matthew 24:40 I have been warned

So shall it be written, So shall it be done – the 10 Commandments

2 Thess 2:1-4 Jesus has got my back

1 Tim 4:1-2 everybody’s got their own agenda

2 Peter 2:1 – 3 not a good job to be in, if your heart is not

right with God

Wooganowski-- Duh Woogie – There’s something about

Mary

Nathan – Duh Nathan the Prophet

*Was I saying that to you or myself? I’ll let you be the

judge. You’re so good at it.

Knowledge of Nathan – ask Gene

*After work I would proceed to poison myself with alcohol

and would always find someone that is going through

some trials and I would start to try and help them with their

problems. Gene would get a kick out of it and labeled it “The

Knowledge of Nathan”.

Only pierced never a broken bone,

I remember that proclamation.

What a dumb ass AM I.

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Know your place, he that would sit at the front, shall sit at

the back.

I will build your temple, Lord

Not filled with the riches of Solomon

But filled with the technology of this culture. Here we will

use it and beat the devil at his own game – Media

Your temple will be called Leper Land

Your Grace will heal your people

Faith – Always Been, Always Be

But what about graduation?

When you can take pebble from my hand, time for you to

leave – Kung Fu

Wow, how naive

We need a halfway house

Roof – Food – Clothing – Medical care – Job – HOPE!!!

Your name will grace many businesses and anyone who scorns

at the lepers will answer to you. Who am I to judge. I am a leper.

? Six eyes = eyes 2 + sunglasses 2 + bifocals 2

*I’m still working on the 666 riddle. Write your quandaries

down.

I chased every devil

I was ill prepared

I have faith

I have strength

I am saved

That’s the way uh huh, uh huh. I like it uh huh, uh huh

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144,000 songs

Man, where is Brian Wilson when you need him

Lord help me

Give me the sales pitch

I need to convince:

drug companies /alcohol /tobacco/

government/Caesar

The system can be tweaked and everyone can live a better

life. Give unto Caesar what is Caesars and give unto the Lord

what is the Lord’s.

I have cast my net to the point the Lord is blocking me. I will

cast no further, I will be content with whatever he gives me. For

I know I have, truly given it my all. Without crossing the line of

sanity.

Dear (2nd Wife),

I am not the Cook

I am not the Maid

I am not the Landscaper

I am spending time with our Father

I am sorry that disturbs you

I love you, bear with me

Nathan

I am sorry for calling you bitter. The devil has jumped on you.

A Godly woman. I pray God, Please remove the scales on her

eyes – I cannot turn the light on to her heart.

Performance – Do you want your God to dance? – Jerry Maguire

or will you dance for your God and Creator

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*Are you a rebel or conformist? Either can be good or bad

depending on who and how you serve. Ask yourself, for who’s

Glory will this serve.

Maybe I am the Lone Wolf McQuaid?

Because I am tired of teaching and not being heard – Seclusion

– but I love people and I want to share

I refuse to roll up in a ball – Yo Adrian

*Since the bad stuff is so much easier to believe, we allow

ourselves to fulfill our own prophecy. You have to find yourself

in order to be comfortable with yourself. Might I suggest

Astrology. Look up your sign and your new sign with Ophiuchus

interjected. You might be surprised the characteristics

that your sign says. Emulate the ones that fit your persona

for the Glory of God. The more you reinforce who you are to

yourself, the more you will become that person. The question

is, who do you want to become? Come out of your shell and

take your place. Do not allow self-confidence to hinder you

from the abundance our Lord has promised you. You got a

problem, let me tell you about mine. Everyone has problems

and many great books can help you to pioneer your way out

of the weeds. Read, evaluate, execute and live with your decisions.

To do nothing is a decision that you will have to accept

as your own.

Am I going to serve time, for spending time with our Father?

Stop dragging/Dragon me off course Devil, I want to go to

Leper Land

Why can’t a parent be a friend? What is it we are hiding?

Does the devil have a secret?

I bet he does. Gootchy Goo

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I hope the Terminator doesn’t get me. Is he the boogie man

we have heard so much about?

Trust – Deception – Humiliation – Media – Drugs

The devil’s mission statement:

DEATH

Nathan the Prophet

Wonderful Counselor

Servant of God

“A Godly Man”

I will once again, write a check for all that I have for your

people.

Hey Deeds, can you use $1 billion?

Sure, why not – Mr. Deeds

*I took the money of course, I’m not crazy – Arthur

Two signs that let me know that it is acceptable to receive

10% from my work only, the concession stand.

The hole that I dig, becomes deeper and deeper. I hope it turns

out like Shawshank Redemption. The Latter part of course.

*I am at the point of no return and I have nothing else

to lose and I have all to lose. I have faith that I will have my

redemption.

Waz Up T. D.

I heard you

888 or 800 – I am not answering that one – that’s a bill collector

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Okay I get it

You want me to start writing again

The cruise ships will unload and reload giving everyone who

seeks it, the Good News

I get it now – Bill Murray Scrooged

*Love, Empathy, Compassion, Action. How we treat our

brothers and sisters in Christ is how we should be treated. I

ask you, are you ready to be judged by your actions?

People from near and far will come

Listen – Field of Dreams

It will shock them

I know the truth, can we do anything about it?

*Build it and they will come. Daddy, you don’t have to sell

the farm. They will come. God’s people yearn for a Shepard

to look after them. I have built your Everlasting Earthly Entity

Lord. I pray that your people will come and join in your

Gift and allow you to dwell among us and in all of our hearts.

I confess, the legal ways of our society and culture, don’t

work for me.

I have a get out of jail free card. Do you have one Jack? – Harrison

Ford Movie

Oh well, I didn’t think about that. I just wanted to serve our

Father.

Act appropriately before our Father and you will be a Pro in

his eyes.

We need housing for employees/lepers of Leper Land

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Buy all Martyn Woods For cruise raffle

Porpoise – bottle nosed dolphin – Purpose

*I must fulfill my Purpose for God or live in unrest eternally.

Lord, strengthen me. Yours is the only approval that

I seek. The only approval that will free my heart. The only

friend that I have ever had. Lord, how can one express their

love for another individual for something that is based on

Faith?

I HAVE NO

TROPHY

I HAVE A

CROWN

CROWN YOURSELVES

BEFORE OUR

FATHER

JUST AS I

YEARN FOR ACCEPTANCE

I

THE SON OF GOD

THE SON OF MAN

AM IN UNREST

JUST AS MY BROTHERS

DAVID AND SOLOMON

I WILL

HAVE WHAT MY FATHER

HAS PROMISED

AN EVERLASTING

ENTITY WHERE I CAN DO

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MY BEST

I WILL HEAL YOU

MY BROTHER

JESUS CHRIST YOUR

SAVIOR LIVES

MY HEART LIVES

GODS LEGACY TRUST

IT IS MY LEGACY TO YOU

YOU ARE THE

KEEPER

OF MY

HEART

I HEREBY

YOUR LORD JESUS CHRIST

FORGIVE YOU

What the Hell? Lord, we have sinned so much. We need a

cleansing. We need the angels to come to us. We need you to

show your wraith.

WHAT SHALL YOU

HAVE ME DO?

Alright, if your going to play the smart ass bullshit with me,

I’m going to do it with you. I want to see World Peace before I

die. Ha Ha. Like that is ever going to happen.

WHAT ELSE???

Are you shitting me here?

ASK!

YOUR MASTER

HAS BECOME YOUR SLAVE

TELL ME

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Lord, I’m drunk, you know that. Why do you compel my

heart now? Why do you ask me when I AM incoherent?

YOU CHALLENGE ME

I CHALLENGE YOU

THE FATHER

OUR GOD

ASKS OF YOU

OF YOU OUR GOD

ASKS

AM I

NOT YOUR FATHER

AM I

NOT YOUR GOD

AM I

NOT YOUR SAVIOR

ARE YOU

NOT MY SERVANTS

ARE YOU

NOT MY CHILDREN

ARE YOU

NOT MY CHILD???

Damn, when you put it like that I have no other choice but to

serve you my Lord. But I am just one man. What can one man do

to reach your people in their present state? They will never listen

to me Lord. They will listen to you oh Lord. Speak through me

oh Lord. Please speak through me. Lord, I do not know how you

can sum up your presence now in our lives, but I ask you to do

just that.

I AM

THY SON OF GOD

I AM

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THY SON OF MAN

I AM

THY GOD

I AM

THY HOLY SPIRIT

I AM

THY HEART

I AM

THY SAVIOR

I AM

THY BROTHER

THY BROTHER

IS ME OR

I AM MAN

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Porpoise:

The first thing God showed me

God’s beauty – man’s existence

This is our Legacy, embrace the lepers. We are people just

like you.

You discriminate, he does not – KNOT

A knot becomes tighter

with every tug

A knot becomes larger

with every loop

A knot becomes

a foundation

A knot accepts

My Divine Plan

You are a knot

for ME

or Not

Pray I even accept

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your Knot

You Knot Head

Ask not of thy God

Be thy Knot

for thy brother

Be thy Knot in my

Everlasting

Earthly

Entity

My heart is in

Knots

My Grace

Forgives your

NOTS

Book title

“If I were” Nathan the Prophet – Wonderful Counselor – Servant

of God

“If I were” a Murderer

Thanks O.J.

Wait til you see the movie, your kids are going to love it –

Marty Back to the Future

Something has got to be done about your kids – Doc

*Dude, let’s take a little trip in the time machine to see

what Doc is talking about. Our kids have become entitled to

what their brother has worked for. How can we sustain this

with just one flux capacitor? The load that we have already

put on it has weakened it Globally. If it dies, it will be considered

a hoax from the beginning. The nay sayers said it would

never work and now they can gloat. Ahh... but there is another

vision. Everyone gets their own flux capacitor so that they

may travel through time and inspire their heirs to strive for

more and not rely on their brother for their existence. They

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are inspired to pick themselves up and say “If IT is to be, IT

is up to ME”.

Your children need for you to be a parent and occasionally,

they need a doctor.

You are resting me for being a servant of the Lord. Why can’t

I be forgiven for my mistakes? Are you crabs in a bucket? Ask

Ralph.

80/20

Can you overlook the 20 and be content with the 80

Multi-lesson – stay with me now

Fed 15%

State 5%

God 10%

Can you live with 70%? X________

Peace and Love 100%

Your Temple will be filled with Bling Bling – Technology

So when you demonstrate your powerful hand, only the treasures

of this world are lost and human life is spared and your

temple can easily be rebuilt by the people of this World.

*Leper Land

Your earthly entity Gods Legacy Trust LLC will be built in

the same manner the Great Pyramids were built. With the life

long efforts of your people. Everyone is a brick in Gods Entity.

Some used and some not.

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They are just like cats, they can be trained, but it requires a

tremendous amount of patience. No one really owns a cat. No one

really owns a human.

Look up the definition of patience – ask Brian

You are enough to hold public confessions of faith

Don’t forget planes and airstrip

But a performance is not necessary

Show your pride with the sign, the sign of God.

Do not erect or worship the sign

Conceal it in your heart

Reveal it in your wave

Love your fellow brother, we are all looking for different

cheese stations – Who Moved My Cheese

I hit the Mother Lode

Good News – I share – I am not greedy.

I have been given ADHD and I like. Now that I know what

ADHD is. How dare us for suppressing the future prophets for the

devils glory, because of ignorance and greed.

Ghost of Christmas Present opens his curtains – Scrooge

*Don’t tell me what is behind your curtains, I am not your

Judge. Tell our Father what is there. He already knows and

waits for you to confess to Him. Ask for forgiveness and control

over whatever demon you allow into your own life of your

own free will.

I am one of you. Our forefathers are speaking to me. I went

through life in a drunken stupor – stupid lost child. I have Aletheia

– learn - unforget. Beware of false teachings, getting kicked

in the teeth sucks.

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Take off your masks. Lie down in a bed of snakes. You will be

bitten. It really hurts don’t it. Know that your salvation relies on

your perseverance to never take your eye off you’re creator. God,

the one and only, your choice, he is always with you. He loves

you unconditionally. Regardless.

I am becoming what I am meant to be.

Damn the torpedoes, I am coming in.

Ice has the lead. Okay you guys, I’m coming in.- Top Gun

The arrogant, vocally robust are responsible for the demise of

the Knights Templar and Jesus Christ.

*”Weapons of Mass Destruction”. Someone has to take

charge and sometimes mistakes are made. We can all play

armchair quarterback after the fact. After the attack of 9/11

I can assure you that anyone of us would have had our antennas

up for future attacks. Hindsight being 20/20, a different

approach may have served less costly. I’m still digging on the

whole 007 thing. But we are where we are, so let’s finish it and

save our Global brothers from tyranny and oppression. By

the way, I am proud to have been a citizen of the U. S. under

President George W. Bush. He made me feel safe and I believe

he did what he was compelled to do for the safety of all.

That whole “I am” thing works in real good. It is in the script.

Imagine that.

*Wait til you see “I WILL” LOL

Use your imagination and dip into the pool of Bathsheba?

Cleanse yourself for yourself, not for the approval of others. Vain

– Pain

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*Ask yourselves, is your expressions of love for our Father

or for your neighbor? I can not judge what is o